Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “‘kay, wellness check. Are you still cool playing this game?”

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Andrew: “I think I know who it is. I don’t know what it is. What do you think it is?”

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Andrew: “No one out-pizzas the Hut”

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Andrew: “Nobody out-comedies the Luke!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wow!”

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Andrew: “Okay. This is a weird one!”

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Andrew: “One of those options would be helpful in eating a pizza”

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Andrew: “That word has 2 meanings!”

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Andrew: “You don’t like people sexualizing Santa Claus”

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Luke: “And, this was me being, I guess, 5 percent passive-aggressive”

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Luke: “Nobody out-bask–backmasks the Burbs”

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Luke: “Nobody out-pizzas the rut”

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Luke: “Now, you can comedy”

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Luke: “Now, you can pizza”

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Luke: Singing “Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no-no-no”

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Luke: Singing “Oh, no… Oh, no… Oh, no-no-no-no”

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Luke: “T’was the night before Christmas and all through the Hawaii… Andrews and Genevieves were… I guess, what, you’re in Hawaii by the time this hits the… hits the Internet?”

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Luke: “Why didn’t ya just… tell me?”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I don’t wanna be laying down in public”

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Andrew: “I could do without the foreplay, sir”

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Andrew: “I don’t like being told what to do”

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Andrew: “Just cut it!”

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Andrew: “Never a Dulles moment”

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Andrew: “Oh my goodness”

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Andrew: “Portaguys [sic] vers… Oh my goodness”

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Andrew: Singing “5 years”

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Andrew: “You know me, I love me a hot dog”

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Andrew and Luke: “Like, I just want… I want, like, a theater-style seating, sticky floors… (Ooh!) popcorn”

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Andrew and Luke: Hmms and Mmms

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Luke: “And, boy, is that a real switcheroo”

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Luke: “Holy… guacamole! We’re out a hundred bucks!”

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Luke: “Might have also grabbed a Twix bar”

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Luke: “Yeah… I use the power of my mind, and my wand”

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Luke and Andrew: “I get violent, Andrew… (Mmm-hmm) very violent”

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Andrew: “Hot bulk summer”

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Andrew: “I believe that’s the plan! Yeah, exactly. Nobody rob me. Nobody rob me”

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Andrew: “I mean, it starts bad with the title and it gets worse with the description”

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Andrew: “I’d hate to blow this holiday so early”

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Andrew: “I’ll be yours forever”

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Andrew: “Magna cum grody!”

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Andrew: “Oh my… God in Heaven!”

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Andrew: “Oh… yeah! I think I sewed a cat using a pattern”

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Andrew: “That actually turned my stomach a couple of times”

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Andrew: “That’s so wrong!”

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Andrew: “What puts you into a sexier mood than eating pâté?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I wouldn’t come anywhere near that with your mouth, with your fork. I wouldn’t touch that with your fork… Yikes!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What puts you into a sexier mood than eating pâté? Oh, God! Just… to get over here. Let’s make out. How much… how much pâté have you been eating today? Let’s play tonsil hockey. Oh my goodness gracious”

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Luke: “Cocktail sausage balls”

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Luke: “Hot… bulk sausage!”

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Luke: “Liver sausage nut ball”

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Luke: “Liver… sausage… nut ball”

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Luke: Singing “Mele Kalikimaka is… Hawaiian way to say ‘Merry Christmas to you'”

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Luke: “Yikes!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Add… Addie and daddy time; and, then… (Mmm, goddamnit!) Christmas morning”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hot… bulk sausage! (Oh! Ooh…) Don’t Google it!”

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Luke and Andrew: “How much pâté have you been eating today? Let’s play tonsil hockey. Oh my goodness gracious”

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Andrew: “And, uh-oh. Stay away from Runaround Sue!”

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Andrew: “But, I would not do it”

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Andrew: “I am a terrible friend”

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Andrew: “I have a pit in my stomach that is so deep and painful right now”

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Andrew: “I love you more than I did before”

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Andrew: “I’ve made it very easy on myself by being a bad… friend and family member”

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Andrew: “If I give you my money, will you stop talking now”

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Andrew: “She abused me with a piece of cheese”

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Andrew: “She did slap me with a piece of cheese; and, I almost broke up with her”

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Andrew: Singing “Doop, doop, doop”

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Andrew: Singing “Some say love”

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Andrew: “Well, I don’t play with toys anymore”

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Andrew: “You just describing that… gave me, kind of, a physical reaction”

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Andrew and Luke: “She abused me with a piece of cheese, by slapping me in the cheek (Mmm-hmm) with it”

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Luke: “Take my money. I don’t need to know how any of this works”

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Luke: Singing “And then, up here”

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Andrew: “Do you know that Winter Paws is my furry name?”

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Andrew: “I just love the fact that we’re starting the Winter Games with so much heaven talk”

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Andrew: “I’m a bad quiz man”

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Andrew: “Now I’m out, though. Now I choked”

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Andrew: “That really lived in my head. That was not a comfortable feeling”

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Andrew: “The font is so bad”

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Andrew: “There is an abuse of ellipses here”

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Luke: “Half past dead… is still slightly alive”

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Luke: “I’m a bad man!”

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Luke: “Inconceivable!”

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Luke: “Nothing puts the listeners in the Christmas spirit like a little good win over replacement talk”

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Luke: Saying “What’s the deal with terrorists?” as Jerry Seinfeld

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Luke: Singing “Heaven isn’t too far away”

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Luke: Singing “How far is Heaven?”

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Luke: Singing “Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth”

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Luke: Singing “There’s a lady, I’m told… All that glitters is gold; and, she’s”

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Luke: Singing the opening to Conway Twitty’s “Games People Play”

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Luke: Singing to the “Driven to Kill” trailer music in the style of Seinfeld’s theme song

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Luke: “That’s everything I’ve got on Heaven”

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Luke: “Why, brain? Why is this what you remember?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a bad man! (I’m a bad man!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s ‘Sex and the City’! (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “Attention everyone! Attention! I have a podcast. I’ll be telling everybody”

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Andrew: “Close… but no Seagal”

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Andrew: “Dembitz!”

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Andrew: “I feel like my head… is a balloon”

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Andrew: “I feel like my head… is a balloon, that is floating off of my body; and, I have to reach up and grab it”

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Andrew: “I think about nose-blindness all the time”

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Andrew: “In some ways, you and I are very different people”

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Andrew: “Jake, return the scarf!”

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Andrew: “Maybe I’m… too high on my own supply”

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Andrew: “Me fail English? That’s unpossible”

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Andrew: “Taylor, your silence on ballers is deafening!”

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Andrew: “That stuff always makes me uncomfortable”

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Andrew: “The RAM!”

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Andrew: “Where’s Mark with my shit!?”

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Andrew: “You didn’t Google hard enough”

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Andrew: “You were a Jackass guy, right?”

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Listener: Singing “Hawaii is Beautiful”

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Luke: “I don’t know! This kinda slaps for me”

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Luke: “I think this is good that we don’t know how to make meth!”

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Luke: “I was hoping that it would be more satisfying than that”

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Luke: “Nobody… probably… puts Taylor in a corner”

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Luke: “Proto-Deez Nuts”

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Luke: “Silence is violence, Taylor”

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Luke: “That’s gross!”

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Luke: “The fella over there with a hella good hair”

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Luke: “The players are gonna play, play, play, play, play. And, the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate”

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Luke: “You got dis”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think this is good that we don’t know how to make meth! Or, you and I are just like, ‘I don’t know. I don’t know. I saw it on TV once! There was a guys–they were in a trailer… I don’t know. One of them was wearing underwear'”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing #2

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