Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “As a… fellow city dweller… there is no better feeling then being the first person… to take a poop on clean steps”

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Andrew: “Brother. You… are speaking my language. Let me just say that, as a… fellow city dweller… there is no better feeling then being the first person… to take a poop on clean steps”

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Andrew: “Brother? Good luck with that”

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Andrew: “I just… rode it out and kept tapping my credit card”

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Andrew: “I think I’m gonna throw up”

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Andrew: “I wish Andrew did have a new hat”

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Andrew: Making a cricket sound

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Andrew: “Oh, good. Zoink!”

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Andrew: “Oh, man! Boy’s been practicing!”

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Andrew: Saying “We’re gonna go on the helicopter ride” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “So, I’m bopping around a few stores there”

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Andrew: “That sends me, daddy-o!”

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Andrew: “Then, eventually, kind of gets violent in the sky”

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Andrew: “There is no better feeling then being the first person… to take a poop on clean steps”

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Andrew: “There is… nobody… there is nobody younger than me… who uses the phrase… ‘I get a kick out of it’ or ‘I got a kick out of it'”

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Andrew: Whispering “You son of a gun!”

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Luke: “Even too rocky for me!”

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Luke: “Get a load of us!”

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Luke: “Why, why push it?”

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Luke and Andrew: “What is best in life? (Right!) Destroy your enemy and hear the lamentation of the women”

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Andrew: “And, I love doing it”

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Andrew: “Attention, everyone! Andrew has a new hat”

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Andrew: “Attention, everyone! Andrew has a new hat… It’s part of a new look… and a new chapter in his life”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit! I love Waterloo”

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Andrew: “Can I say something really rude here?”

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Andrew: Clearing his throat while Luke was introducing him

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Andrew: “Do you think I’m a funk guy?”

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Andrew: “I just… let… The Simpsons wash over me”

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Andrew: “I love me some Mudcrutch”

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Andrew: “I played on my boop-boop”

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Andrew: “I’m definitely a little groggy coming in today”

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Andrew: “I’m not a big funk guy”

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Andrew: “I’m not a big funk guy… I’m not a big, funky guy–I mean, I’m… maybe I’m funky if I don’t shower”

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Andrew: “In this land, everything is… peaceful; until, one day, Arnie opened the pickle jar”

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Andrew: “It looks too scary for me!”

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Andrew: “It looks too scary for me! I’m sure it’s great; but, it’s too scary for this old guy”

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Andrew: “It’s going to be… that kind of a day”

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Andrew: “Man, guy… person”

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Andrew: “Piano Man! He plays piano by day, and… catches burglars by night”

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Andrew: “Pig, Wig and Beyond”

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Andrew: “The Mariners: Anything Could Happen”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, now… (Yeah) here’s our gay character”

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Andrew and Luke: “I can’t even tell you what I watched. I sat there. I played on my boop-boop… Just let… years of The Simpsons wash… wash over me (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke: “I’m mad cuz you did that mean thing to me. And, now, I’m mad at you!”

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Luke: “I’m the gay guy!”

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Luke: “Lord willing and the… COVID don’t rise”

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Andrew: “He is the brother of the wackadoo”

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Andrew: “He is the brother of the wackadoo… who believes in star whackers”

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Andrew: “Jake… you’re gonna love the way you look. I guarantee it”

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Andrew: “Like, ‘I can’t. I feel fat’; or, ‘I can’t. I’m… playing a baseball game'”

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Luke: “I feel like there’s a tweet in there. Also, I feel like there’s a tweet in everything”

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Luke: “It’s been a lifetime of affectation”

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Luke: Saying “Episode 3504 in a collector’s series” twice in a span of 30 seconds

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Luke: Saying “This is a serious message recorded on a Friday” as Ringo Starr

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Luke: Singing “From the Grapevine to LA”

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Luke: “That’s why I’ve been… dangling it!”

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Luke: “You know me, I had my whole… my year of affectation. Actually, it’s been a lifetime of affectation”

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Luke and Andrew: “Good news is, that bought me enough time to remember… Fernando Rodney. Fernando Rodney. Are you thinking of Fernando Rodney?”

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Andrew: “Facebook is just an… awful, awful organization”

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Andrew: “How dare you!?”

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Andrew: “Huh!”

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Andrew: “Huh!!!”

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Andrew: “I almost stuck my finger out the window”

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Andrew: “In, in my, in, in moments of pettiness”

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Andrew: “It’s been on for an hour!!”

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Andrew: “It’s just all algorithms and bots”

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Andrew: “It’s not like some great photo, it was just a silly photo of cat laxative”

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Andrew: “Just moments ago, there were only 2… Volkswagen Golf tire tracks… in the sand, as you carried me”

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Andrew: “Mine is just weirdly norm-core today”

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Andrew: “My turn signal’s been on!! It’s been on for an hour!!!”

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Andrew: “No poo in my can, please”

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Andrew: “Put it on the poop, Guillermo”

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Andrew: Saying “I am a machine. I’ve taken this down. You’ve broken our standards. These are what our standards are” as a machine

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Andrew: “Screw Facebook… Screw Instagram”

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Andrew: “Toys and games for kids these days are poop and fart-forward”

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Andrew: “Try to make it poop! Catch the poop! Feed it ’til it poops!”

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Andrew: “Why can’t the rabbit have some cereal?”

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Andrew: “Yeah! Little assholes”

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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, do you have… I might get a little more coffee… (Oh, yeah! That’s right. We had a plan. We had a plan!) Clearly, you don’t know how the plan works”

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Luke: “Ask not for who… the gaba…gools”

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Luke: “Clearly, we understand how reservations work. Clearly, you don’t!”

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Luke: “Em-PHA-sis was on the wrong syl-LA-ble”

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Luke: “Feed me. I do a magic poop”

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Luke: “Give… me… a… brark”

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Luke: “I do a magic poop”

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Luke: “I don’t like anyone telling me what to do”

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Luke: “I repeat… what you say!? Oh, I repeat what you say… This is my first time reading words, Andrew”

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Luke: “It… doth… slap!”

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Luke: “One does not just stroll into Mordor”

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Luke: “One does not just stroll into Mordor, aka REI, and buy a tent and walk out with one”

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Luke: “When I get yelled at, and I’m in the wrong, I’m furious”

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Luke: “You know that I was holding a beaver poop the other day?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I do a magic poop. Mmm-hmm. Well, that’ll never end up on Marsupial Gurgle. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, I was about to write a Yelp! review of a lifetime for (Mmm-hmm) this place”

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Luke and Andrew: “SoDo mojo (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “Aaahh!!”

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Andrew: “Andrew has to re-read things a lot”

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Andrew: “But, think about it. When do I actually wanna talk about poo?”

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Andrew: “Do not throw your poo in my bin!”

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Andrew: “Dog doo-doo”

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Andrew: “First of all, I refuse to pay for the sins of my brother”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke! May I introduce you to something called… Poogooder!”

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Andrew: “I’m not super hungry anymore”

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Andrew: “I’m on the Poogooder.com webs… website right now”

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Andrew: “I’m trying to be a Poogooder, though; not a Poobadder”

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Andrew: “In so many ways… the idiots are winning”

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Andrew: Making a trumpet sound

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Andrew: “May I introduce you to something called… Poogooder!”

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Andrew: “Other people’s dog poo”

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Andrew: “Poogooder!”

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Andrew: “The closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat”

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Andrew: “The… idiots are winning”

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Andrew: “What a world!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you know ‘briary’… [sic] rhymes with? Retiree… (Briary?) I really messed up that joke”

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Andrew and Luke: “Evil used to be smart… And, evil isn’t even smart anymore (Right)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I feel ya, man! What a dark, (Yeah) goddamn day”

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Luke: “I agree with you a hundred percent”

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Luke: “Isn’t it Mamaroneck, don’cha think?”

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Luke: “More cushion for the pushening”

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Luke: “Please tell me more”

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Andrew: “Anyway. Point is… I’m dumb, I’m tired”

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Andrew: “Can’t keep Andrew waiting! Run, run, run! Tom Cruise! Blades of hands!”

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Andrew: “Do you need a physical address to cyberbully someone?”

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Andrew: “I got a doctor’s appointment!”

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Andrew: “I know that we’re famously an anti-capitalist show”

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Andrew: “I love it so much. I love that image so much; it sounds so cool!”

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Andrew: “I think of it that way as a newbie here”

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Andrew: “Is he a JAG or the JAG?”

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Andrew: “Or, this is how I justify being a dingus all the time”

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Andrew: “Rollerdex [sic]“

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Andrew: “She’s gotta bend my finger back and forth a lot”

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Andrew: “This is a little bit rockin’. This is a little bit rockin'”

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Andrew: “Yeah, what’s going on with this story? I’ve seen the photo of it. It looks fun as hell! My only regret is not being part of this caper”

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Luke: “He was a Ross in the streets, but a freak in the sheets”

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Luke: Saying “We had suitcases! Put the wheels on the suitcases!” as Jerry Seinfeld

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Luke: Singing “A warm September”

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Luke: “So… I make a… snap judgment”

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Luke: “The… the defenestration… of Mike Richards’ career”

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Luke: “We had wheels!”

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Luke: “We had wheels! We had suitcases! Put the wheels on the suitcases!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, let’s thank some Donors of the Day! Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yes! I love seeing things I haven’t seen before (Mmm-hmm)”

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