Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Happy damn Blursday!”

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Andrew: “I gave it out wrong… twice!”

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Andrew: “I mean, you know me, Luke. I’m a company man. I’m not a, I’m not the bad boy of public radio like you and Elvis Mitchell”

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Andrew: “I think about it a lot”

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Andrew: “I’m a people pleaser, for starters”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna turn this into, like, a, a, a weird… complement to you”

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Andrew: “I’m kinda surprised that you don’t ever wanna do that. Not that… That’s a back-handed complement”

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Andrew: “I’m not into dexterity”

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Andrew: “It is… so impossible to describe… the noise that I’m about to try to describe”

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Andrew: “It was… so bad!”

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Andrew: “Keep that finger low, man”

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Andrew: “Luke is right. Luke is 100 percent right. Luke is right. Luke is right. Like, all these people just wanted you to know that you… are… right”

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Andrew: Mimicking the sound of a car’s engine revving

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Andrew: “Oh my God. Have you returned your report in on time, by the way?”

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Andrew: Saying “Get in the chopper!” as Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Andrew: “We’ll get to d-mails in a little bit”

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Andrew: “Well… Do it to it, my dude!”

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Andrew: “What is kratom!? Do you know? What does it do to you? Does it get you real high or what?”

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Andrew: “When… will.. I learn… to say… ‘flip off’… instead of ‘flick off'”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thought it would be wonderful if someone isolated stuff that Luke just said and getting mentioned by Luke

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Andrew and Luke: “DTFB… which stands for David from the (David from the Basement)”

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Luke: “¡Jalapeña!”

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Luke: “Black boot stomp and penetrate, yeah!! Lust and death gone in your head”

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Luke: “Dig deep down from Planet X. Yeah! 13 ghosts in the Devil’s head. Step right up and feel the fire. Hardcore love of the never-dead. Call me the American Nightmare. Call me the American Dream. Call me your soul corrupted. Call me everything you need… Yeah, motherfucker! Yeah, who do you love? Yeah, MFer”

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Luke: Doing the show intro in a flat manner with fill-in-the-blanks

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Luke: “Don’t… cloud the machine”

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Luke: “I love juice!”

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Luke: “Like, I don’t wanna feel anyone from the inside. I don’t wanna bleep anyone like an animal”

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Luke: Singing “Burn down the bridges and dig all the ditches”

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Luke: Singing “Burn down the bridges and… kill all the bitches”

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Luke: Singing “Oh, Lord… Stuck in Lodi again”

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Andrew: “And now, whenever I see a dog in a car… I flick ’em off. I give ’em the old, big middle finger”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe we’re friends”

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Andrew: “I don’t know!”

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Andrew: “I love how much they love each other”

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Andrew: “Lotta bullshit… just, like, lotta… lotta Safeway shrimp”

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Andrew: “Or, they’re just being super sarcastic”

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Andrew: Whispering “It’s just so hard!”

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Andrew: “Who am I!?”

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Andrew: “You know, like, literally, the first five words to come out of my mouth and I’m gonna try to bite that one off”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning, Luke. I got a real… (Hey, Andrew…) I got… (meteorological mystery… Making it worse)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning, Luke. I have a real… (Meteorological mystery) on my hands here”

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Luke: “I don’t understand people”

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Luke: “I’ll take off my… mildly hungover podcasting hat and put on my… Nina Totenberg… legal eagle… analysis pants”

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Luke: Saying “I hope he doesn’t look over here” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: “This person has lost their damn mind”

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Andrew: “ADAB: All doctors are bastards”

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Andrew: “And, I love puttering… Luke”

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Andrew: “And, the other day, I… was… playing in the cooler, I guess. Let’s call it what it is. I was, you know, icing it down, or whatever”

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Andrew: “Beep!”

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Andrew: “But, you know, I’m a shot and a beer kind of guy. That’s my lifestyle”

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Andrew: “Chris ‘The Mullet’ Mullin”

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Andrew: “Defund the ambulances”

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Andrew: “He was such a Chad”

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Andrew: “I have been seen as a threat before too; but, only in the library when I was sitting in a section I wasn’t supposed to be sitting in”

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Andrew: “I mean, honestly, I think ‘yes’ to all of those things”

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Andrew: “I’m not made of very tough stuff”

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Andrew: “I… like me some White Claw, man!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I can’t relate to anything that you just said”

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Andrew: “Oh, I didn’t remember how filthy that was”

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Andrew: Squeaking sound while Andrew was talking

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Andrew: “They say, ‘Video doesn’t teach for a day, but for a lifetime'”

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Andrew: “Well, no. I’m not gonna take it there”

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Andrew: “Wow! We just say these things!?”

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Andrew: “You’re wife’s new name is, ‘You’re Fired’. Taargüs”

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Andrew: “Your singer/songwriter’s new name is, ‘Dacus Dacus'”

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Luke: “A powerful lust for partying”

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Luke: “A powerful lust for red salmon”

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Luke: “Ah, pish-posh!”

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Luke: “Business in the front, business in the back”

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Luke: “Dacus, Dacus”

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Luke: “I have a memory… Is everybody sitting down? I have a memory”

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Luke: “I’d believe anything… that comes out of Australia”

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Luke: “I’ve said this before on the show, and I hope this doesn’t… sound extremely… weird… on a, sort of, racial basis”

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Luke: “It was, literally, a major disaster”

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Luke: Making alarm sounds

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Luke: “My family!”

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Luke: “Talk to the hair, cuz the Buhner don’t care”

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Luke: “We lost Walsh”

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Luke: “You call yourself an astronaut, you fucking loser?”

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Luke and Andrew: “ACAB… Ambulances can… all… blow… (Oh, wait) themsel… I shoulda picked a different B word”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hot Chad Summer is here, and… (It is, indeed)”

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Andrew: “And, I’m afraid this might be boring”

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Andrew: “And, I’m afraid this might be boring… But, you know what? It’s chapping my ass… and I needed to get it off my… I needed to get it off my chest; or, maybe my ass. I’ve lost the thread”

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Andrew: “And, of course, I love sausage so much”

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Andrew: “Because of the love of sausage”

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Andrew: “Because, I have disconnected… the innuendo in my head”

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Andrew: “Blah, blah, blah”

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Andrew: “But, there was one line in the CNN article that, like… for some reason, got into my cranky craw today”

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Andrew: “Coming in with some real hot slime energy today, Luke”

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Andrew: “Don’cha know it’s a video”

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Andrew: “I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore”

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Andrew: “I feel a little sweaty, and slimy, and gross”

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Andrew: “I feel a little sweaty, and slimy, and gross; and… that’s the energy I’m bringing”

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Andrew: “I hope you didn’t tip either”

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Andrew: “I knew as I was saying it, ‘Wait, that’s not the line!'”

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Andrew: “I know that there’s gonna be a donut hole in my day”

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Andrew: “I will… drag my ass through this show, this TBTL. And, then, I will go to the gym, and then, I will shower”

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Andrew: “I’m coming in hot!”

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Andrew: “I’m kinda coming in hot and slimy”

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Andrew: “I’m unshowered”

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Andrew: “I’m… slurring my words here. That’s that hot, slime energy”

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Andrew: “It just always sounds wrong”

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Andrew: “Maybe, I’m just, I’m just so innocent… and naïve, Luke”

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Andrew: “Stay out of my cranky craw”

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Andrew: “Which really… is just such a reminder of what the hell we’re talking about when we talk about white privilege, man”

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Andrew: “Woke up to a hot bedroom”

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Andrew: “You’ve had it good for too long, Big Mask!”

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Luke: “Fucking pay people more money!”

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Luke: “Grimli the Pleasant”

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Luke: “Hot Walsh summer is here, y’all”

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Luke: “I was forced, Andrew, to sit there with my own thoughts”

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Luke: “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”

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Luke: “My name is Otto… and, I love to get blotto”

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Luke: “Nature is healing; and, it’s not great”

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Luke: “Nervouser than a one-legged man in a sand-kicking contest”

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Luke: “Talk about a d-mail”

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Luke: “These are not… the droids you’re looking for, Luke”

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Luke: “Unpaid audio production… associate, Linh, would nev–No, he’s… very, very conscientious about those things”

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Luke: “We’re just giving people too much money now. They don’t even need to work!”

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Luke: “Which, I don’t like, by the way, Andrew, cuz it’s different!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke tried to play the clip of Andrew saying “Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” during the intro, on the fly, but it had an upcut and getting mentioned

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Luke and Andrew: “Nervouser than a one-legged man in a sand-kicking contest. Whoa! I’ve never heard that before”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah-yeah, I wanna… I wanna rock with this. I do every goddamn day”

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Andrew: “Add it to my Pocket app!”

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Andrew: “I know, man! I am leaning into old person life so hard!”

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Andrew: “I’m bossy”

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Andrew: “I’m dead on the inside. I can’t believe what we just did!”

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Andrew: “I’m talking too quickly. Slow down, Walsh! Okay. Slow down. Reset”

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Andrew: “It bothers me how… inarticulate I am”

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Andrew: “Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”

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Andrew: “Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and hey… dirty, baby I got your money”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m leaning into my… heelness when it comes to this story”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m my toddler’s stomach” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Ugh. Good morning, Luke. That’s a hell of a drop right there”

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Andrew: “Uh, I hate myself”

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Andrew: “What is going on!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you gonna explain what lap dances are to me today? Is today the day, or…? When an ex-wife… loves a stripper very much, Andrew; and, the song ‘Drops of Stupider’… ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Train is playing”

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Luke: “Andrew doesn’t suck!”

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Luke: “Bigote Burbo”

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Luke: “I don’t know; but, we’re don’t not-ing”

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Luke: “I hate myself for loving you, Andrew”

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Luke: “I’ve been to a Waffle House, my friends; and, there are better places to throw up… I’ve done it!”

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Luke: “Oh, I was going to my car for something! Reader… he wasn’t going to his car for anything”

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Luke: Saying “I’ll just be over here… Ah, Luke Szyslak, table for one” as Moe Szyslak

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Luke: Saying “Oh, Nutsy” as the Sheriff of Nottingham

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Luke: Saying “Oh, sir… Just one more thing” as Peter Falk

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Luke: “She was gonna get the… the real… fuzzy end of that lollipop”

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Luke: Singing “Baby I got your money”

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Luke: Singing “If you want me to stay… I’ll always be”

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Luke: “That’s what the restroom at Waffle House is for… yakking!”

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Luke: “That’s what they say about improv: don’t not”

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Luke: “This is… ridiculous!”

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Luke: “We were hooked… not on phonics… but on Hooked on Phonics… We were hooked on Hooked on Phonics”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can’t! It’s a Geo! (It’s a Geo!)”

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Andrew: “Anything I’m about to say, don’t take it personally”

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Andrew: “Get in here”

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Andrew: “I’m somebody who is out in the world, making… weird, petty judgments of people all the time”

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Andrew: “Ohh. I don’t know about that”

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Andrew: “Ooh, these are kinda stylish”

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Andrew: “Say, George… Yeah, Bill… Couldn’t this have been an e-mail?”

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Andrew: Stumbling over the name “TBTL”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the ’90s, Andrew”

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Andrew: “What the hell, Prince?”

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Luke: “Ernest Saves Congress”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Rest in Times, Corey. Rest in Times”

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Luke: Saying “Know what I mean, Vern? If I sign ’em both at the same time… I wrote the law” as Ernest

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Luke: Saying “Ma’am! Ma’am! Ma’am! That’s my podcast!” with a cracked voice

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Luke: Saying “Sir! Sir! Sir!” with a cracked voice

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Luke: Singing “Bow down to Washington”

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Luke: Singing “Marconi plays the mamba”

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