Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And, it hurt so bad, Luke!”

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Andrew: “Busy beavers!”

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Andrew: “Do I say ‘ligaments’ funny?”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Everything just feels messed up right now”

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Andrew: “Groundhogs don’t have anything else going on for them. They need the shadow shit, right?”

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Andrew: “Hey, human fly here!”

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Andrew: “How!? Like, how are you going to do that?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. It’s a broken finger. People break their fingers all the time!”

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Andrew: “I just don’t believe in tipping though!”

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Andrew: “I just don’t believe in tipping though! Like, I’m paying for a service”

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Andrew: “I kind of know what my pain points are”

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Andrew: “I knew that thing really hurt!”

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Andrew: “I knew that thing really hurt! I knew it shouldn’t be so… so… blue and swollen!”

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Andrew: “I like taking those things”

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Andrew: “I’m definitely, definitely, definitely not one of those people”

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Andrew: “The busy beavers!”

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Andrew: “Well, we all know we’re living in the Internet age, as I like to call it!”

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Andrew: “What the eff!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s (Yeah) a hard line on beavers”

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Luke: “Up in the Porn-fernando Valley”

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Luke and Andrew: “Turns out, there’s a… certain amount of… beaver-related drama going on in Canada, Andrew (Hmm)”

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Andrew: “Coffee is for Glenn Closers”

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Andrew: “I have just gotten especially soft in my middle age”

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Andrew: “Okay, Internet. You guide me”

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Andrew: “Ooh, wow! That’s intimidating”

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Andrew: Saying “Ooh, wow! That’s intimidating” in a cracked voice

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Andrew: “She can act! Who knew!?”

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Andrew: Singing “El Camino”

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Andrew: Singing “Girls on film”

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Andrew: Singing “Sponge and rags”

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Andrew: “Someone’s probably fucking with my bike right now”

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Andrew: “Suit me up! Adventure time”

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Andrew: “TBTL… Kills humor dead”

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Andrew: “This is so dumb… Why am I having this conversation?”

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Andrew: “Well, you know my motto, Luke… ‘Live menos'”

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Andrew and Luke: Having trouble figuring out the number of syllables are in each word or street name to replace the word “Desperado”

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Luke: “I don’t know why this is where my brain goes with this”

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Luke: Singing “Doing da butt… Aw, sexy sexy. Ain’t nothing wrong with doing da butt all night long”

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Luke: “Solid… dampness”

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Luke: “TBTL: Glenn Close but No Cigar?”

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Luke: “Whee! Here we are swinging”

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Luke: “Why are those the facts that my brain can keep straight?”

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Andrew: “And, we’re just dancing our ass off”

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Andrew: “Are you… shitting me?”

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Andrew: “Honey, I Shrunk the Capo”

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Andrew: “I am… gobsmacked right now”

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Andrew: “I don’t care about doing the right thing”

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Andrew: “I was gonna make a joke about Chaucer… but, I Canterbury”

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Andrew: “Man, I really nailed that!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Really? Frig!”

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Andrew: “Vegas, baby!”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “Where is the gabagool?”

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Andrew: “Whoa! This is a whole universe, friend”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew: “You could not have made me happier!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I was gonna make a joke about Chaucer… but, I Canterbury… Ohh!!! Holy shit, man! That’s a good joke”

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Luke: “And, it… changed my… life!”

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Luke: “Big Pussy is in it for a minute”

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Luke: “Chowdah!”

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Luke: “Hey, where’s the… God-agool?”

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Luke: “Hunky, bearded… adult man”

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Luke: “I got something that’s gonna make ya a lot less jubilant!”

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Luke: “I had all my Humpty-Hump talking I wanted to do”

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Luke: “I just wanna hug this Andrew and never let him go”

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Luke: “I’d kick to the side like my leg was broken, shakin’ and twitchin’… kinda like I was smoking… Crazy wack funky. People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty. That’s all right, Andrew, ‘cuz my body’s in motion”

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Luke: “It is so good!”

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Luke: Singing “It was a teenage wedding; and, the old folks wished him well”

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Luke: “Well, this is how I die”

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Luke: “Wow, brain… How is it that you remember all of the lyrics to ‘Underwater Rimes’?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, you don’t believe in a God!? No, I do now”

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Andrew: “Anger?”

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Andrew: “Com…pendium of clickbait”

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Andrew: “Com…pendium of clickbait. Ooh”

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Andrew: “Don’t beat up on my friend, Camera”

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Andrew: “I just sound like an old fuddy-duddy, I think”

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Andrew: Making a trumpet sound

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Andrew: “Nope… I don’t have it!”

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Andrew: “Ooh”

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Andrew: “Pharxmor”

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Andrew: Playing “Taps” with his mouth trumpet

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Andrew: “Put me in… Smokey… I’m ready to talk”

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Andrew: Singing the opening notes to “Taps”

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Andrew: “That’s a problem, man!”

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Andrew: “That’s how you get the honorifics”

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Andrew: Trying to play “Taps” with his mouth trumpet

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Andrew: “You are the Windemere beneath my wings, Luke”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m… (So you wanna) trying to mute my microphone here; because, Theo’s being an asshole”

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Luke: “I’m handing out free… plugs left and right”

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Luke: “I’m in a zone… I’m in a flow state. Some may say I’m in a fugue state”

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Luke: “I’m no rocket surgeon”

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Luke: “Rattle”

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Luke: “RIP… quality comedy… May you rest in power”

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Andrew: “‘el’o”

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Andrew: “I kind of like that in that… it’s fucking bonkers!”

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Andrew: “I’m coming from a… place-a pain!”

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Andrew: “I’m not fully here today”

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Andrew: “If you like weird stuff”

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Andrew: Making a death rattle sound

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Andrew: Making a death rattle sound and saying “Oh! Pardon me. Oh my good… Ugh! Did you hear that death rattle… as I inhaled? Oh my goodness! My apologies”

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Andrew: Saying “Weird” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “The Washington… Croissants”

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Andrew: “There’s something even more interesting about this Twitter conversation, Luke. And, yes… you can quote me on that!”

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Andrew: “This is unflattering!”

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Andrew: “You say you like the number 100? Well, Evan White is batting 100! Oh, shit!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what my finger feels like today, Luke? It feels like a broken, (What?) damn finger”

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Luke: “‘ello. ‘ow ‘r’ ‘ou?”

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Luke: “Again, not to center myself in the story; but, again, I’m the only one who lives in this meat sack named ‘Luke Burbank'”

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Luke: “Alcohol… is a very fun experience for me, until it’s not”

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Luke: “I was bored outta my gourd”

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Luke: “I, I shite you not, Andrew”

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Luke: “It’s getting real porcine real fast here”

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Luke: “Outta here with that shit!!”

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Luke: “Their other name was hella racist”

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