Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Andrew was right… Luke was wrong”

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Andrew: “Bio-daddy”

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Andrew: Drawn out “No!”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke. I have… a terrible idea”

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Andrew: “I can’t do my work!”

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Andrew: “I don’t even think I said the ‘G’ word”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I’m singing!”

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Andrew: “I think this is a blessing and not a problem”

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Andrew: “I… don’t have any of those… smart devices around my home… including me. Hey-oh!”

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Andrew: “Jay… you got flow”

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Andrew: “Kansas City K begins with Kansas City, Mo… O… One-two-Chicago-four, crossroads of America… Tallahassee, Tuscaloosa”

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Andrew: “Literally, probably both a problem and a blessing”

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Andrew: “My sweet, sweet Lukey”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m talking myself out of this again”

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Andrew: “The smell of poop hit me”

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Andrew: “This is the path that you were describing when you gave ’em the old bird”

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Andrew: Whispering “Sweet, sweet Luke. Don’t worry about anything”

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Andrew: “Yeah. No. Nothing’s changed”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew peeling a clementine and whispering and Luke doesn’t like the latter

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Andrew and Luke: “How about that? How’s, how are those pipes now? Oh, good. Clean, clean (Mmm-hmm) pipes”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ll, I’ll give it to you… I’ll give it to him. And, I’ll give it to you too; if you want, Luke. (Sure) But… (I’ll accept it) I’ll start by giving it to him”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh! You’ve looked it up! Okay. Well, (Yeah) then I’ll shut up. Go… teach me, professor”

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Andrew and Luke: “Used to worry about the listeners stalking you. Now, I worry about you stalking (Uh-huh) the listeners”

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Luke: “I can see all of your scalp right now”

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Luke: “Please don’t ever call me your sweet, sweet Lukey again”

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Luke: “That’s not a… that’s not a bridge I wanna cross on our friendship”

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Luke and Andrew: “Drive faster, Neddy! I can’t! It’s a Geo! (It’s a Geo!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Nationwide is on your side (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “An off-white shade of sort of yellow at the bottom; and… let you know that… it’s time to get another box in here. Also, Boy Gorge did stuff”

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Andrew: “And, he’s… such an actor and he can’t hear himself”

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Andrew: “Because, I don’t do anything for free”

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Andrew: “Gramma Clink-clink”

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Andrew: “I didn’t know that was a thing!”

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Andrew: “I juggle with my words”

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Andrew: “I… find… that… shocking and I am somewhat… dubious”

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Andrew: “I’m beeping all this”

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Andrew: “In fact, the way I slice an apple… might be considered mildly infuriating… on some… Reddit platforms”

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Andrew: “Just bad ideas all around”

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Andrew: “Look at me!!”

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Andrew: “My… nads are… fine… Thanks for asking”

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Andrew: “Pop a cherry tomato… in my face”

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Andrew: “Sounds sexy”

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Andrew: Stretched out “Foyer”

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Andrew: “Why don’t I just fire this baby up”

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Andrew: “Wow! I did not know that! And, you used to ride a unicorn… A unicorn… A unicycle”

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Luke: “Am I both literally and figuratively high right now?”

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Luke: “And, it’s not being replaced… with… pristine blue water. It’s being replaced with more black… death”

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Luke: “And, just taken the loss, taken the L… on the blue puck”

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Luke: “I was wrong and I’ve never been happier!”

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Luke: “It’s sad that I have things I regularly do during breakups”

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Luke: “Old Wine Fingers Burbank”

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Luke: “Room temperature nudes”

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Luke: “The de-wigification of James Traficant. Is that a show title?”

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Luke: “The de-wigification of Phil Spector?”

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Luke: “The good news is: we’re both incompetent this morning”

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Luke: “Whoa! I was wrong and I’ve never been happier!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, if you’re Ms. Wharton… you eat the entire core and just… absolutely laser-beam Luke the entire detention period of (Hmm) lunch… Sounds sexy”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, please remember: No mountain to tall… Hrr?!? And, good luck to all”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s Egg! It is her! That’s Egg! (Oh, no kidding!) You got it. Look at me!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just eating a delicious (Oh, right) apple… Yes. And, freezing my nads off”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ooh, that will be going into the file. No, it will not. (I’m sure) No, it will not. I’ll quit… I’ll just quit my job; and, that one… Where will that leave you… and the person who harasses me with audio?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Then, what do you paint? Oh… that… naked people”

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Luke and Andrew: “What about McConaughey? McConaugh-who? McConaugh-huh? (McConaughey?) McConaugh-huh!? McConaughey? Huh!? Hey? Huh?!?! Hey”

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Luke and Andrew: “Would you say his performance was more Ky-No… Ren? Yes”

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Andrew: “Does Nike have a logo?”

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Andrew: “Eww, Luke-id!”

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Andrew: “I didn’t start there. I just ended there”

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Andrew: “I wanna make one thing clear. Not to neg you at the top of the show; but… nobody passed away on the show yesterday”

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Andrew: “Marissa, this is for you!”

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Andrew: “Mission: Shit-possible”

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Andrew: “Take that mask off. Let me see that baby face”

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Andrew: “The crabby one!? Am I crabby?”

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Andrew: “Thighs Wide Shut”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’d make a terrible gaffer, wouldn’t you? Uh, the worst! The worst!”

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Luke: “By the way, there’s definitely a porno called ‘Strop Gun'”

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Luke: “Can I break in on what is a… a really positive thing to tell you about something that’s negative that made me feel positive?”

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Luke: “Chanooka! [ph]“

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Luke: “Cleveland, this is for you!”

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Luke: “Did you do even one Hollywood butt-lift class?”

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Luke: “I got my little… yog… [ph] in… today”

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Luke: “I… unintentionally… forgot… that somebody had passed away… on the show… yesterday”

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Luke: “Jerry Mc-Thigh-her?”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Power snout!”

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Luke: “Shabbat shalom! Mazel!”

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Luke: Singing “…Secret garden”

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Luke: Singing “Keep shining. Keep playing TBTL knowing you can you always count on me”

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Luke: Singing “She’ll let you in her heart”

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Luke: “You know he does his own yelling?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, you’re fucking with the wrong motherfucker… (Mmm-hmm) Tom Cruise”

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The majority of this show includes Episode 267 of Andrew’s and Genevieve Haas’ podcast “After These Messages” and included Luke as a special guest. Clips from that episode have been posted.

 

Andrew: “He’s, he’s… kinda becoming a bully again… But, I love it!”

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Andrew: “If ya nasty”

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Andrew: “So, today at 3 PM… look for Tom Wassell… on… Twitch… if ya nasty”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, one of the songs on this called, ‘Ram On;’ which is… you know (Ram off!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Will After These Messages take over? (Yeah, man!)”

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Luke: “Between the two of us, we have… most of the show remembered”

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Luke: “Daddy Phyllis”

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Luke: “Daddy… Daddy, Phyllis never burps in our face… when she’s reading our names on the thing!”

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Luke: “Fletch… can you stop with the showing us up?”

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Luke: “I bet you Phyllis rarely burps during the show”

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Luke: “If the Spotify is vibing with Luke Burbank”

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Luke: “Mother!! I want to…”

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Luke: “We sorta turducken After These Message into… TBTL”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t remember what happens from show to show. And, nor do I”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke and Andrew are like the biological fathers of the Tens but no one cares for the Tens more than Daddy Phyllis

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