Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3315

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Andrew: “Again, nothing sexy at all about it!”

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Andrew: “Alright. Well, I gotta start talking at some point, don’t I?”

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Andrew: “And, guess what? It was the plumbing! It was the plumbing!!”

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Andrew: “Bop-boop!”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m… broken!”

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Andrew: “Dipping into the Stern-iverse”

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Andrew: “I’m saying ‘indeed’ a lot”

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Andrew: “I’ve had it! I’ve had it! This is my breaking point!”

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Andrew: “If it swells… ride it!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “My blood is gonna be Arby’s sauce and Jim Beam”

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Andrew: “My life is about puttering anyway; so, why the hell not?”

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Andrew: “Pizza deprivation tank?”

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Andrew: “Some drama here in… in Andrew-land”

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Andrew: “The second I hear Andrew’s voice, I’m just like, ‘I can’t'”

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Andrew: “There’s something broken in me”

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Andrew: “Well, I for one feel… much better! Thanks, as always, for everything, Steven!”

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Andrew: “Yesterday… was the day where we started to truly see, like the… little… green grasses of tomorrow start to poke up through the soil”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Because, that’s more relatable. Right… Somehow”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “How about that, though? No, no! No? No! How about that? That gets it across, doesn’t it? No. No!? No. Are you sure? Yes. What if I give you a Coors Light? Will that start your feeling (Hmm) about that?”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “I love going to Arby’s. You love Arby’s, right? You know… Are you… are you… are you turning cold on Arby’s?”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “If I were you… (Uh-huh) alone… (Mmm) in this area, kind of… traipsing down this old, abandoned path, on this, like, kind of, post-rainy day… (Mmm-hmm) Even describing it… (Mmm-hmm) sort of makes me have to go number two”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “If it swells… ride it! Oh, dear!”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “What did Wally do? Maybe nothing for you”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Andrew!”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Okay. Yeah, this is already off-the-rails… I’ve, right? Yeah. I wasn’t… I wasn’t (yeah) mis-triggered here? No, no. I was justifiably triggered?”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “You make your pizza bed, you lie in it… As they say. Of course!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3314

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Andrew: “I don’t think what I just said made sense; but, everybody knows what I’m saying here”

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Andrew: “I have static electricity problems”

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Andrew: “I’m like, ‘I could do that’. And, then, I think, ‘You’re no Chris Hayes. Shut up!'”

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Andrew: “Isn’t there a famous composer named ‘Schumann;’ or, am I just making shit up again?”

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Andrew: “Next time you tell me I’m wrong, maybe just take a moment and, like, look at it in all angles”

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Andrew: “Now, that I’m trying to… remember when that Cindy Crawford poster reared its ugly back”

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Andrew: Saying “Aw… she miss you… They’re breaking my heart!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “I could write a song for that clock, Don” as Donovan imitating George Harrison

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Andrew: Singing “Tubs, Tubs, Tubs, Tubs”

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Andrew: “The Big Dark is good for me; cuz, it says, ‘You don’t have to take a walk today. You can just get fatter'”

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Andrew: “This is just pandering”

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Andrew: “Uh, doctor called! Your salve is ready!”

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Andrew: “What about… a factory reset? Have you ever… done a factory reset on something? It is glorious”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Tubs, (Chili’s!) Tubs, Tubs, (Baby back ribs) Tubs, Tubs, Tubs, Tubs, Tubs”

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Andrew and Luke: “We got one feedback. Anybody need a feedback? I got (Yeah) one feedback here!”

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 Luke: “Bro, your videos suck”

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Luke: “I’m already regretting even bringing this up”

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Luke: Making a disgusted sound

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Luke: “Saturday Luke is no fun, Andrew; and, I wanna apologize”

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Luke: “That was before you even… that was before ‘Sploooge’ [sic] was even a tinkle in your toilet!”

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Luke: “Zed’s dead, baby”

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Luke and Andrew: “Luke, Luker Burbank. Mmm-hmm… Luker? I hardly knew him”

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Luke and Andrew: “Not to be a gross person; but, it is a long… shard of something that is surrounded by pus! Oh my God! That is a gross person”

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Luke and Andrew: “So nervous. What’s the next song? What’s it gonna be? I know it’s a song”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3313

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Andrew: “I know that you love your Bubbies, I know you love your sauerkraut”

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Andrew: “I wouldn’t do that!”

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Andrew: “I’ve already been thinking about something I wanna do on this show and it may be terrible”

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Andrew: Singing “Until I discovered Tubs Subs!”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, I was still scared… (Mmm) because, my brain is broken”

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Luke: “Coming to you from… high in the sky above Portland, Oren… [sic] Oregon”

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Luke: “I just shoot it and forgoo’d [ph] it”

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Luke: “I mean, every other ad I do, I’m lying through my teeth”

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Luke: “I’m not even kidding. This is how kooky my brain is”

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Luke: “Like, I can… do it; but, it’s not… my favorite part of the day”

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Luke: Singing “Please release me”

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Luke: “So, I forked some out on to the plate”

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Luke: “That’s some ‘Little House on the Prairie’ shit”

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Luke: “The last man sitting”

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Luke: “This is what living alone in the Bachelor Arms feels like, Andrew; or, looks like… or, tastes like… Just… opening a jar of delicious sauerkraut and just drinking the sauerkraut juice, right out of the jar, standing in your kitchen”

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Luke: “Where’s my gross person drop?”

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Luke: “Yeah… This is how you do it”

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Luke and Andrew: “I made a series of questionable decisions… last night, between the hours of… 9:30 PM and midnight… Yep. Those are the hours”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think, that Randy, my Roomba… has some kind of attachment issues. Oh! (Hmm) By the way, that’s a pretty solid joke about a vacuum”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3312

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Andrew: “Be white, my friend!”

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Andrew: “I could deepfake you a phone call with… nail polish right now, if you wanted me to, Luke”

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Andrew: “I forgive; but, I don’t fob-get”

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Andrew: “I love this story!”

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Andrew: “I’m not well”

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Andrew: “It was TBTL day!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Lorena!?”

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Andrew: Making a creaky vault door opening sound

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Andrew: Making a creaky vault door opening sound #2

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Andrew: Making a farting sound

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “Revisit!? I live here now!”

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Andrew: “Splooch, there it is”

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Andrew: “Sploooooch!”

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Andrew: “What’s going on with Luke’s brain!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew jokingly said that he’s changing all of his passwords to be “passw0rd”

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Andrew and Luke: “I missed my chance to blow… as… (Mmm-hmm) Slim Shady?”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke took a screenshot of joining “The Colonel’s Club” while Andrew was talking

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Andrew and Luke: “Thomas has been hearing the show! Do you think, maybe? Yes!”

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Luke: “Boy, did… that work out!”

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Luke: “I went with tummy because mouth sounded dirty”

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Luke: “Ron Donald… Doozle!?”

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Luke: Saying “Portland, Oregon, a good town” in a pipe organ-y manner

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Luke: Singing “Impeccable!”

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Luke: “Start the show!”

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Luke: “Tag Team, back again”

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Luke: “What we talk about when we talk about Taco Bell”

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Luke and Andrew: “Scooby Doo! They call him, ‘Scooby Doo;’ but, Scooby don’t! He doesn’t do! He doesn’t do! Scooby doesn’t do!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3311

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Andrew: “Alright. Lemme get out what I’m trying to get out here”

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Andrew: “Alright. Lemme get out what I’m trying to get out here… which, is what I said to the doctor the other day”

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Andrew: “And, again, not trying to get into your head; but, that ambulance has the wrong show number”

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Andrew: “And, I also liked his weed”

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Andrew: “First of all, I just think that we should publicly shame you”

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Andrew: “I drink my coffee black!”

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Andrew: “I’d like… to have a… warm heart”

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Andrew: “I’m about to tell a story… involving the word, ‘skin tag;’ and, if this is what I’m pivoting to, what was I pivoting away from? That’s what I want everybody to think about right now”

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Andrew: “It also is a really fun thing to play around with”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Luke… you beautiful man. You just gave me the perfect segue”

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Andrew: Making hi-hat sounds

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Andrew: Making pneumatic steel brush sounds

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Andrew: “Oh my God, I should’ve”

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Andrew: “Sliding into glee and you felt something on your knee?”

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Andrew: “That was a really shitty thing I just said”

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Andrew: “The brown frown”

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Andrew: “You’re kinda gonna unleash me on this a little bit”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can we try to… close the things that close and get this in order? Number things that number? Count the things that go up by one each day?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you know what skin tags are, Luke? Know ’em? I’ve got ’em!”

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Little Luke: Singing “We wish you a merry shit-buns. We wish you a merry shit-buns. We wish you a merry shit-buns; and… shit-buns”

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Luke: “Consider me dazzled by that doot”

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Luke: “Hey, listen, Andrew. If I had to beat my salami to make the audio on this show… convincing to the listeners… I will”

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Luke: “I stopped the show!”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to provoke a thing”

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Luke: “Oh my God! So many different kinds of ladles!”

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Luke: “Shit-buns is his favorite phrase right now… No matter what tactics we take, we can’t get him to stop saying it”

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Luke: “What just happened!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I had a lotta warts when I was a kid. Me too… Easy ladies! I know… Kinda single”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3310

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Andrew: “Bashing that shit”

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Andrew: “Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!”

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Andrew: “Do you happen to have any napkins?”

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Andrew: “First of all, it’s not a bit, it’s my life”

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Andrew: “I don’t want anybody to do anything weird”

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Andrew: “I forgot about that dazzling doot!”

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Andrew: “If it was Halloween, it would be… ‘Your dead-icated management team’… But, it’s not Halloween; so, there’s no point in me saying that”

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Andrew: “Just don’t try to… put on this mask!”

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Andrew: “Loons!”

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Andrew: “Loons! Exclamation point”

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Andrew: “No, it’s not, ‘pretty please'”

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Andrew: “Oh, man. That just smacks of effort, dude”

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Andrew: Saying “That rings a bell!” and a bell dings

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Andrew: Saying “We’re young and fun! Look at how young and fun we are! Oh, pretty please, come pick up your package” in a saccharine manner

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Andrew: Saying “Your dead-icated management team” in a spooky manner

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Andrew: “You can’t take a right on Roosevelt!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna get you a t-shirt, though, that says… ‘Hating Thomas is Not a Personality Type’. You son-of-a-bitch!”

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Luke: “Fieri’s gotta Fee-et… [ph] and, Nickel’s gotta back!”

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Luke: “I live rent-full in this apartment and he lives rent-free in my head”

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Luke: “I’m following a beaver on TikTok!”

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Luke: “Is there something wrong or broken about you?”

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Luke: Making a spring door popping open sound

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Luke: “Stone Temple Pilots, they’re elegant bachelors. They’re foxy to me. Are they foxy to you?”

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Luke: “We wish you a merry shit-buns”

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Luke: “We wish you the merriest of shit-buns”

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Luke: “Whoo-whoo!”

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Luke: “With your phone, you just dial… your number. I think yours is [beep]… Oh, wait. Cut that out, Andrew. That’s my actual number”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke making loon call sounds while Andrew was talking

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, Andrew… Mmm-hmm. Is that doing it for you? Yeah! You know it is!”

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