Andrew: “Alright, Luke. Our first top story today comes from the world of Luke Burbank.”
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Andrew: “Aw, come on! I don’t believe ya!”
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Andrew: “But, I don’t think I got whatever you’re, you’re barking up here.”
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Andrew: “Chairs are for fools. Everybody loves stools.”
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Andrew: “Crossing over diagonally, diagonally, diagonally.”
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Andrew: “Flooding the zone with more boringness.”
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Andrew: “Hello, Luke. Do you have your thimble on?”
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Andrew: “I hugged the unhuggable tiger.”
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Andrew: “I like this bartender, very yes and!”
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Andrew: “If you lose the little doohickey on the end of the shoelace, it becomes very difficult to get the fat shoelace back through the, through the, you know, shoelace hole. What do you call it… shoe hole.”
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Andrew: Imitating Luke making the sewing machine sound
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Andrew: “Meow”
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Andrew: “So anyway, Luke. So, umm… this is why you called?”
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Andrew: “So, I thought you were sweating having to be on stage tonight with a shirt that is tucked in, but no jacket to hide your, to effectively hide your stomach thunder.”
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Andrew: “This is what happens when you’re on the phone and I’m on the mic.”
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Andrew: “This, actually, could be the most brilliant God damn idea I’ve ever heard.”
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Andrew: “Uh, hi! This is a wake-up call for a Mr. Burbank, a Mr. Lucky Burbank.”
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Andrew: “Well, up and at ’em cowboy.”
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Andrew and Luke: “I know there’s a right way (Yeah!) to do it and I know I’m not doing it.”
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Luke: “Ahoy-hoy!”
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Luke: “But you don’t understand. There might be an HGTV show about it!”
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Luke: “I’m gonna flood the zone with more boringness.”
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Luke: “Ladies! Any ladies in there?”
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Luke: Making a sewing machine sound
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Luke: “No, God!”
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Luke: “Please let me go back to my tomato bisque soup.”
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Luke: “Stop, you’re mad with power!”
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Luke: “This thing was not made for shit!”
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Luke: “When I got done with the story, she was like, ‘That’s why you called?'”
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Luke and Andrew: “Hold on, let me just bite this thread off. Oh, you are still sewing! That’s good to know.”
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Luke and Andrew: “I used to own a convent. I used to own a convent factory.”
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Luke and Andrew: “Shut your shoe hole! You, you shut your shoe hole!”
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