Andrew: “And, I just don’t believe that for a second. I just don’t believe it for a second!”
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Andrew: “Do you wanna… have an opportunity to laugh at me a little bit here?”
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Andrew: “Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!”
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Andrew: “Every time I open my mouth on this show… part of my brain is saying, ‘Is this inappropriate to say’?”
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Andrew: Funny Laugh
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Andrew: “I always feel so damn pathetic when I write one of my negative reviews”
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Andrew: “I was… so… mad!”
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Andrew: “I would not dig through shit for that”
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Andrew: “I’m never proud about these goddamn things”
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Andrew: “I’m, I’m just gonna do it. I’m just gonna do it. I need to do this.”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: “My brain is already scarred from this”
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Andrew: Pseudo-dejected “Okay”
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Andrew: Saying “I’m a human!” as Alex Jones
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Andrew: Singing what Andrew would sing when he would plug his ears
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Andrew: “They got this sign out there that’s just attracting… attracting… fat guys like flies, apparently. Like me!”
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Andrew: “Well, first of all, I’m officially not part of this conversation”
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Andrew: “Yeah, that’s BS”
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Andrew: “You can just call me ‘Tain’. I’m here to entertain you.”
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Andrew and Luke: “Hurtin’ my shoulder pattin’ myself on the back… (Y’all)”
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Andrew and Luke: “I, I would do anything for a lawsuit; but, I won’t do that. Meatloaf.”
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Andrew and Luke: “If anybody wants to get rich. Here’s my advice to you… (M’kay) Invite me to your Tupperware party”
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Luke: A string of “Owie”s
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Luke: “And, I apologize, I’ll use a, a sort of a coarse term here, they’re just trying to cockblock each other at every turn; because, they don’t like each other”
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Luke: “And, I may have… cooked my brain… a little bit”
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Luke: “Come at… Come at’cha? Coming at’choo? Come at’choo? Coming at’choo [ph] right now”
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Luke: “Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera”
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Luke: “I’ll have two of your finest meat sandwiches! Gro–What kind of freak are you? Hey, give me a couple of burgers. Why, absolutely.”
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Luke: “If MC Skat Kat goes to the bathroom, is it MC Skat Kat scat?”
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Luke: Laughing
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Luke: “‘Luke won’t stop trying a fart transplant drop, I don’t like it!'”
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Luke: “Nailed it. God, that timing was… Every once in a while, I get the timing just perfect on one of these things; and, I think you all will agree… that was one of those times.”
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Luke: “Sangria can’t melt this steel”
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Luke: Singing “Let me heat your grill”
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Luke: Singing “O say can you see”
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Luke: Singing a portion of “Stars and Stripes Forever”
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Luke: Singing a portion of “Stars and Stripes Forever” #2
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Luke: “They heard me D-ing… when I had… agreed… N to DA.”
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Luke: “What a dumb reason to lose your job as one of the deans of Yelp”
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Luke and Andrew: “Honey Boo Boo!? I was trying so hard not to do that. Alright. Y’all kids… y’all kids get ready; cuz, we goin’ down to… Benihana!”
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Luke and Andrew: “Well, that’s what they say, ‘We’re more calloused in the gross parts.’ We’re… Yes, that is what they say.”
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