Luke: “Alright, that’s gonna be it… for the show today. Again, thank you, everyone. I know it was a little weird, I know it was overly confessional… it was rambly… it was… Well, you know… when I, when I describe it that way, it just sounds like it’s a, basically, a normal episode of the show. So, maybe it was”
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Luke: “And, I laughed… my… ass off”
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Luke: “And, I told you all this. This is gonna be a weird show. This is me… sitting in the offices of Burbank Springs… just talking… for however long I have words in me”
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Luke: “And, it’s amazing!!”
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Luke: “But, I’ve also just been in a weird… funk… all day. I can’t really explain it”
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Luke: “Emo Tuesday”
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Luke: “Forty-two year old man sitting here… shirtless… trying to tell you that… I love you”
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Luke: “I got the other half of the box of crackers out… we were out of normal cheese… I ate it with Kraft Singles… That… I just want you to understand, that is the state of my life right now, everybody”
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Luke: “I just said it, I’m going there… So, buckle up, everybody. It’s happening”
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Luke: “I’m a… forty-two year old man… sitting here shirtless… By the way… you’re welcome for that visual. I told you, it’s a million degrees here”
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Luke: “Oh my God, this is taking so long!!”
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Luke: Quietly saying “Oh, no”
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Luke: Saying “More? Sir, could we have more?” as Oliver Twist
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Luke: “So, so much… for the paleo diet”
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Luke: “Something’s going on with me. I mean, I dunno if… it’s changing of season. Do, do we have… do we have man-o-pause?”
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Luke: “That’s good!”
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Luke: “When… I’m in the bathroom here at Burbank Springs… I… we are a… well, I can’t speak for, can’t speak for my wife… As far as I know, she’s never gone number two… our entire marriage”
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Luke: “Where are you going with that, dude?”
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Luke: “You shoulda gotten your S together… at this point… if you meant to listen to S-Town”
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