Clips From TBTL #3000

About a week before the 3000th show was taped, Luke asked for a series of dazzling or funny deets about the show over the years. He also said that some of the details did not have to be true or accurate, considering that the TBTL: By the Numbers for the 2000th Epithode were not actual true stats. The following is the clip of Luke reading the ones that I sent over:

Luke and Andrew: TBTL 3000: By the Numbers

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Andrew: “Because, why the shit… would you serve soup in a square bowl with a lip!?”

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Andrew: “Bonvoy!! Bonvoy!”

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Andrew: “But, if you ever heard one of us say, ‘Let’s stop down’ on a podcast… something went terribly wrong”

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Andrew: “Don’t try to read my face… I’m inscrutable”

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Andrew: “Hold on, hold on, hold on. Everybody… actually be quiet for one second. Everybody just listen to me. Really, really. Everybody listening? Yeah. Alright… (Power out) There it is”

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Andrew: “How in the hell are you letting this happen?”

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Andrew: “I was prepared… to make a joke. Yes, sometimes I prepare jokes”

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Andrew: “I’m the poster child for stalking”

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Andrew: “If you guys love something, listen to it a lot; and, then, just sneak into the person’s studio and, eventually, you will be able to be a co-bro”

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Andrew: “Nick, look me in the eye”

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Andrew: “No. What-what-what-what-what-what-what-what?”

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Andrew: “Orlando… Calrissian”

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Andrew: “This is exactly where I should be. We are doing this from the commercial sink… the place where they wash the dishes… This is–We should move all of this equipment out of the way and I could start… cleaning everybody’s dishes. This is great!”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound… crazy”

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Andrew: “This is kind of a garbage story; but, this is a garbage lunch story”

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Andrew: “This is real old man yells at bonvoy right here, okay?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew pronounces “Spinach” as “Spinige”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saw Luke’s “Andrew Drops” playlist in iTunes and that lead to Luke playing a series of Andrew drops

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Andre and Luke: “Is Bonnie here? Bonnie? Hi, Bonnie! I got your e-mail… I’m gonna read it… (What?!) Are you cool with this? I am… really interested to see what happens next”

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Andrew and Luke: “The WWE wrestler Kane, aka ‘The (Devil’s Favorite) Demon’ (‘The (Devil’s Favorite) Demon’)”

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Andrew, Luke and Nick Armes: “No, no, no… nope! Not on my playground! Alright. Okay. Finish your quiz. What is this, After These Messages? Geez! What is After These Messages? (Ohh…) It’s a cleaning podcast”

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Andrew, Nick Armes and Luke: “You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’? Sure… You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’!? I am. You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’!!? Umm… Yes! I’m afraid it’s ‘Fatt Kamp’, my friend. Yeah. Whoo! Drama!”

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Chris O’Leary, Luke and Andrew: Chris giving out a dazzling deet about the number of Waffle Houses and what the show number would be if they visited different one for each episode going forward

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Luke: “Did you guys nominate a kid to ask that? Because… you knew that we wouldn’t punch them… (Hi) Because, I’ll punch a kid”

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Luke: “Hash browns so fast you’ll freak!”

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Luke: “He’s like the Ayahuasca… of podcasting”

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Luke: “I just learned and, I… I’m not even gonna ask if this is okay, I’m just gonna go for it… Apparently, there’s a Vaniversary show… baby”

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Luke: “I’m part of the bon-luminati”

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Luke: “It’s just a kick-ass laugh riot”

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Luke: “Looks like I picked the wrong day to intermittent fast”

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Luke: Saying “Could we stop down for a minute?” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: Saying “I don’t, I don’t hear it” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: Singing “Despacito”

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Luke: “Sue me for what?”

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Luke: “That’s fucking great, actually”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, I wanna, I feel like I wanna… I don’t wanna big dog you here. Oh my God; then, don’t!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Combining all of the times ‘American Pie’ was played during the twenty-four hour Vaniversary live show… (Ohh) you could’ve watched the original ‘American Pie’ movie… at least once; but, why would you? That’s our stats person getting into (That is solid!) the joke writing. It’s a decent spoof from our stat person”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting indirectly mentioned for providing stats for TBTL: By the Numbers

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know. It just appeared in my life. What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I had a dream… Hey, you know what? Just do it… dream talk. (Oh! Change those stats, right here) I had a dream… (Who would’ve thought that would’ve been your dream that would change the stats?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Okay, I’ve got good news for you, Andrew. You’ve finished your food… Oh, yeah… I was… I was going slow… (I can shut up now) Thank you, so much”

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Luke and Andrew: “Should I have not have been sitting on the hash browns earlier? (Right) Was that a… (Oh, I guess they were smothered and covered!) Hey-oh! Wow, that’s a pretty good spoof. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, of course, we got this one… (I am a proud boy) Don’t applaud that!! What are you doing!!?”

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Luke, Andrew and Nick Armes: “Have there been points where you wanted to stop listening to the shows, but you felt like, ‘I got the tattoo; I gotta stick with it’… (Yeah) Like, at what point are you just trapped in this life? Weekly? Oh, wow. I’m kidding. I’m kidding. What do you think this is, Little Red Bandwagon? Ooh! Ooh!”

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Nick Armes and Luke: “Also known as ‘The Perfect Daddy’… Would not recommend… zero out of five stars”

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Nick Armes, Luke and Andrew: “Wait. Really!? Yeah! (Yes!) Oh, wow! Oh, hey!”

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