Andrew: “Hello, New York!”
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Andrew: “I just want to see my old unit… Can I see my old unit?”
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Andrew: “I was loading this e-mail on to my computer… which… I know that’s not how computers work. Just… let that sentence… just let it go, okay? I’m gonna cut it out anyway”
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Andrew: “If I ever do have a lucky day”
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Andrew: “Oh! Where ya going? There’s only forty more questions”
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Andrew: “There’s nothing titillating on the Internet, is there?”
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Andrew: “This is pure Dredd”
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Andrew: “This is so silly now! I didn’t know you knew all that”
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Andrew and John Hodgman: “You’re just undermining me this whole show, John? And, I… No, it’s me! It’s me; cuz, (It’s not you) I’m not doing a good job! (No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Everybody’s loving it) Andrew, I love you. Stop it (I love you too!)”
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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, New York! Holy crap! Yeah. That’s a good feeling!”
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John Hodgman: “Congratulations on your three… thousandth episode”
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John Hodgman: “How is it my lucky day?”
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John Hodgman: “I can’t talk here because… my car is bleeding to death! Weird liquids are coming out of car holes; and, I don’t know what to do! Don’t know about cars! I’m not embarrassed… cuz, I was… speaking sharply to my wife; who, I love very much”
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John Hodgman: “I like sports when the outcome is known and the outcome is sad”
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John Hodgman: “It’s my lucky day!!”
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John Hodgman: “No one’s enjoying this. Keep going”
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John Hodgman: Singing “Elvira”
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John Hodgman: “That was, that was back when I was a, a weird, round face, man-baby”
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John Hodgman and Andrew: “What are you looking for? I–something titillating! I don’t know! Something exciting! You know there’s… the Internet”
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John Hodgman and Luke: John Hodgman giving out his personal deets
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John Hodgman and Luke: “What… is… happening!? Why… did you ask me to stick around for this segment? Where, I obviously would just be confused… This is just for all of you! Yes. I have nothing to offer!”
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John Hodgman and Luke: “You were all like, ‘You didn’t… you didn’t name me in your book, dickhead. Fuck you!’ (Yep)”
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Luke: “He has a new book out called, ‘Medallion Status’… which… I have been reading; and, I have never felt more seen… by a book… in… my… life”
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Luke: “Hold that a little closer to your mouth… (Alright) You’re holding it a little too much like Fred Durst fronting a Limp Bizkit concert”
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Luke: “John. John. John. John. John”
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Luke: “No!!!!”
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Luke: “So, clearly I don’t feel that bad for cows… who have a… sort of, bad time”
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Luke: “That’s classic… Slytherin”
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Luke: “To use… to use a, a phrase I use all too often on this show: I have just hoisted myself… by my own petard”
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Luke: “We’ll cut all this out. Don’t worry. Can we stop down?”
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Luke: “Your new home is: Brooklyn! Brooklyn!”
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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Sky lounge, woo (Woo)”
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Luke and Andrew: “They’re not cage-free crickets!? Fuck this! (Oh my God) I’ll never eat that”
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Luke and Andrew: “Would you call this a… more of a groove or a groof? This is a New York groof”
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Luke, Andrew and John Hodgman: John Hodgman looking through his book to find him mentioning Luke