Andrew: “Aww, come on, talk to me! I’m a lonely old man, I’ve got a lot of witticisms.”
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Andrew: “Bite my shiny metal football.”
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Andrew: “Childhood is scary as hell, man.”
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Andrew: Chuckling
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Andrew: Chuckling #2
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Andrew: “Do you want the vinegar or the Apple Pay?”
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Andrew: “God, I love that woman so much.”
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Andrew: “I like the computers talking to each other.”
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Andrew: “I read this and I’m just so glad that he’s alive today.”
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Andrew: “I would never get between a man and his comfortable chair.”
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Andrew: “I’m gonna get my S together.”
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Andrew: “It’s gonna come to me when I stop trying so hard.”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: Laughing #2
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Andrew: “Laughing my ass off. Just like, bark laughing.”
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Andrew: “Oh, Luke.”
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Andrew: “Oof. Yeah.”
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Andrew: “That was pretty good.”
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Andrew: “That’s his only dream?”
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Andrew: “That’s just, kind of, the old man in me.”
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Andrew: “This is one of the most moving e-mails I think I’ve ever read on TBTL.”
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Andrew: “Today, the shirt that I came home in was… well, this is just gross!”
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Andrew: “Yeah!!!”
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Andrew: “You can get Bible Hub to fight with itself, like a snake eating its tail or a bird attacking a mirror sort of.”
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Andrew: “You put your oranges down in the bagging area. Wait, one of the oranges moved! Cancel the whole thing. Call the National Guard!”
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Andrew: “Your cash is down there, bro.”
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Andrew and Luke: Andrew mistakenly called the show damp, not the sweaty shirt he was wearing
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Andrew and Luke: “Bite my shiny metal football. Ha-ha! That’s a possible show title.”
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Andrew and Luke: “Does it involve a sweaty shirt? No! If it doesn’t involve a dirty shirt, then I’m probably not gonna be mad. I’ve already ruined the show.”
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Luke: “Above Ground Pool, Below Grounds Dream: The Andrew Walsh Story”
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Luke: Banging sound in the background of Luke’s recording
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Luke: Cute Chuckle
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Luke: “I do not agree with that little punk.”
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Luke: “Like, if they are sleeping, then it’s just like, game on.”
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Luke: “No kitchen countertop is an island.”
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Luke: “Paid. Boom.”
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Luke: Reciting from Matthew 9:17
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Luke: Saying “Feed me!” a la Seymour from “Little Shop of Horrors”
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Luke: Simulating a grocery story self-checkout machine going into theft-prevention mode
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Luke: “So, long story longer.”
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Luke: Trying to recite lyrics from Elvis Costello’s “Veronica”
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Luke: “Well, yeah. They’d have to, they’d have to also have to have my thumb. I mean, I can get you a thumb.”
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Luke and Andrew: Bender is the Cleveland Kardashian Browns’s first draft pick for the 2080 Robot Football League
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