Andrew: “But, I don’t know. That idea of just, kind of, like, ‘We’re in New York and we really know what bagels are! And… you’re disrespecting the bagel… Apple company! So, now you gotta change it! And… thank God the world was right. And… oh, look, you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog!’ Yeah, I’m gonna bring that up. Like, it just all seems so stupid to me”
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Andrew: “Can I set your… brain at ease, and your heart at ease, and your soul at ease”
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Andrew: “Damnit! Well… then, I ruined the beginning of this show”
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Andrew: “Dave’s not here, man”
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Andrew: “For a second, I thought I was going to Crazy Town”
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Andrew: Goofy laugh
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Andrew: “I always add a syllable”
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Andrew: “I don’t know! My brain is… bad now. I can’t think of anything”
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Andrew: “I wanna go outside. I wanna go outside. I wanna go outside!”
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Andrew: “I… I kinda hate this”
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Andrew: “I’m not big on rodents”
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Andrew: “Just one more time, for the record”
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Andrew: “Like, it just all seems so stupid to me”
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Andrew: “Oh. Yeah. No”
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Andrew: “Say my name, again. Please”
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Andrew: Saying “I just hate the story” in a sing-songy manner
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Andrew: “Small change got rained on with his own thirty-eight”
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Andrew: “That’s how you comedy”
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Andrew: “This is gonna be really boring”
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Andrew: “Turns out, I’m just… I’m just… I’m not special at all. I’m not unique… I’m just like everybody else”
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Andrew: “We’re in New York and we really know what bagels are! And… you’re disrespecting the bagel… Apple company! So, now you gotta change it! And… thank God the world was right. And… oh, look, you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog!”
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Andrew: “Were you high, man?”
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Andrew and Luke: “Dave’s not here” but with emojis, bagel emojis and clownface with cowboy hat emoji
Andrew and Luke: “Man, am I stoned? And, their friend will be like, ‘Dave’s not here, man!’ No comment, officer!”
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Andrew and Luke: “Wait… did you just say you don’t think we’re funny? That would include me… Hold on… Let me ask Dave… Dave… is Andrew funny? Fuck. He just left… That’s how you do a ‘Dave’s not here’ joke!!”
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Andrew and Luke: “Welcome, new listeners… And, goodbye”
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Luke: “At Brau-pub… at Brow-beat Brew-pub”
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Luke: “Awww! Thanks, boss!”
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Luke: “Brau-haus brew…prub [ph]“
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Luke: “Go eat a… beg-gul! [ph] Fine, make fun of me. Whatever… People… sick! Sick!”
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Luke: “How fucking tired of joking about weed are these eighty year old fucking men!?”
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Luke: “I don’t know the whole story… cuz, I’m a journalist… so, let me just fire from the hip”
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Luke: “I refuse to be show sheet-shamed anymore”
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Luke: “I’m a man of a certain age. I’m a man of few movies… but, one of those movies will be ‘Pulp Fiction’… and, they will count”
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Luke: “Let’s get into the stoner car and drive down Stoner Street… on our way to Stonerville”
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Luke: “Oof”
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Luke: “Refresh! Refresh, news feed!”
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Luke: Singing “Brad was there” to the “El Ropo” song
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Luke: “Sorry if I sound distracted”
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Luke: “Steve Nelson!? El Ropo!?”
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Luke: What the hell!?”
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Luke and Andrew: Bagel pronunciation talk
Luke and Andrew: “Don’t get cocky, Brew-pub Bow-Wow… Lil… I believe it’s Lil Bow-Wow Brew-pub… Lil Brow… Lil Brau-lau?”
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Luke and Andrew: “Wait… just a cotton-pickin’… darn-tootin’… Is that… like… our… (That’s gotta be) our actual direct supervisor?”
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