Andrew: “Goddamnit!”
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Andrew: “Good review, good review, good review”
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Andrew: “I did something during your intro that would horrify you”
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Andrew: “I just don’t do it that much”
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Andrew: “I’m doing well. Thanks for asking. I’m doing alright! Thanks for asking… Eh, I’ve been better. Thanks for asking”
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Andrew: “I’m just going out to do some online shopping!”
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Andrew: “I’m triple-fisting it”
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Andrew: “It’s called, ‘fore-shirt-ering'”
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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound
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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound #2
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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound #3
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Andrew: “Ooh, I said, ‘looked good’… So, you already know, I’m already planting the seeds of what’s gonna happen to the shirt in the future”
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Andrew: “Really, D? I call him, ‘D'”
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Andrew: “Skip it!? Farts!”
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Andrew: “Somehow, make me pregnant”
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Andrew: “They’re the ones who sewed pink on the butt?”
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Andrew: “Unfortunately, I just feel like I’m the one with poop on my head in this book”
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Andrew: “Well, it didn’t feel good”
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Andrew: “Well, son of a gun!”
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Andrew: Whispering “There it is”
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Andrew: “Yee-haw!”
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Andrew: “Yes! I am seen!”
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Andrew: “You are going in the garbage now. You’re no… you’re no good to anybody. You’re no good to me and you’re no good to anybody”
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Andrew: “You are going in the garbage now. You’re no… you’re no good to anybody. You’re no good to me and you’re no good to anybody. So, you’re going in the garbage with the cat litter”
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Chris Hayes: Leaving a voicemail message about Luke and Andrew not saying “ba-ah-dy” instead of “body” on the show lately
Luke: “Alright… alright… alright”
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Luke: “Don’t talk about it!! Whatever you do, don’t mention it!”
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Luke: “He basically had a problem with gambling; which, has happened to… some of my very favorite people who are me”
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Luke: “Hey, Andrew! How’s it going? Hey, Andrew… How’s it going? Hey. Andrew… How’s it going?”
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Luke: “Hey, is your software racist?”
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Luke: “I don’t think anybody but me cares”
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Luke: “No, not you, Pom… But, maybe if you had a friend who was just cranberry. Oh, there you are! You were hiding! Oh, look at you in my refrigerator. I’m bringing you in… to listen to me… co-host a podcast”
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Luke: “Now, I’m beyond… underwhelmed”
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Luke: “Oh my God, please die”
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Luke: Saying “Dear diary… it’s day one… I am in jail. I never thought I would ever be in jail… I miss my family. What have I done to be in jail” as Craig Carton
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Luke: Singing the beginning of “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” theme song
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Luke: “Surprise!”
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Luke: “The film is a nightmare! A nightmare!”
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Luke: “Treat y’all-self”
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Luke: Voting PSA