Clips From TBTL #2234: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “And I realize… I didn’t do it”

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Andrew: “Boom.”

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Andrew: Explaining Stu-bot’s message and Andrew stepping on his jokes

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Andrew: “God, I’m really, I’m just going to the beginning on this one”

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Andrew: “He is… so goddamn talented!”

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Andrew: “Hi, TBTL listener. I had to cut something out of the show at this point. Trust me, it was worth it; and, trust me, I’ll explain it later on in the show. For now, let’s pick it up here.”

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Andrew: “I have a… empty life”

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Andrew: “I stepped on these jokes like Godzilla stepping on a dog’s tail”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, Stu. And also, I’m sorry Future Andrew; cuz, I don’t know how I’m gonna cut that out!”

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Andrew: “It is!!!”

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Andrew: “It was the 90s”

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Andrew: “It was… horrible”

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Andrew: “It’s not called ‘Grapes of Ads'”

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Andrew: “It’s time to thank our Bartman level donors of the day”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Luke Burbank is on another tough assignment for CBS News, by the way. He’s down in Puerto Rico, sipping on piña coladas and getting lost in the rain.”

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Andrew: “My name is not Andy. Like, I grew up as an Andy. My dad still calls me ‘Andy Boy’ or ‘A-Boy'”

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Andrew: “Oh, no”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, this is sad”

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Andrew: “Oh… yeah.”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “That’s fine. It’s all gonna be fine.”

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Andrew: Saying “Bring it!” in a gruff voice

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Andrew: Saying “Profiterole” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “Thank you, anonymous listener!”

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Andrew: “That was Ron ‘The Ace of Ron’ Upshaw”

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Andrew: “That’s pretty solid”

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Andrew: “That’s why people should keep listening: To see if I can get it up for a story that, I admit at the top of the show, I just don’t care about”

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Andrew: “The listeners know what’s happening here. They don’t like it… but, they know it’s happening.”

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Andrew: “There goes our dump dates”

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Andrew: “Things got a little bit weird there at the end”

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Andrew: “This is gross”

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Andrew: “This is… off… the… tracks!”

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Andrew: “Well… whatever”

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Andrew: “Within the first, like, two minutes of, of my eighth grade was awful”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron making sounds while Andrew is trying to say something in the clear

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “And remember, no mountain too tall, and profiter-all!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “How good is that movie!? Awesome!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I am on a learning site… Oh, no. Cyber.com, (Oh no, this is…) backslash learn”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Public radio. (Uh-huh) I, I smarten this shit up a little bit”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Really?!? Yes! He only has one tweet?!?”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “So I’m like, kind of out there like an… such an old cranky man (I know!) Love that you jump right to raccoons!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “So, anyway, you taught these kids about cyber. Yeah, that’s right, all about the cybers”

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Clips From TBTL #2178

Aaron Mason: Going nuts after losing the quiz

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Aaron Mason: “Hope you like toast!”

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Aaron Mason: “I’m gonna go, Potter!”

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Aaron Mason: “I’m here to compete!”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Is this a good time to bring up the fact that I’ve lined the studio in plastic à la Dexter; because, I’m here to murder Sean. Oh, man! (Ba-boom!)”

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Aaron Mason, Andrew and Sean: Semi-colon and Semi-point

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Andrew: “Buttons are hard to push.”

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Andrew: “Damn it, I messed it up again!”

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Andrew: “Hold on, I’m in a middle of story.”

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Andrew: “I am so bad at quizzes. Why do I like them so much?”

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Andrew: “I get it!”

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Andrew: “I never did pull tabs. I did it once with Luke, but I was just like pulling his… tabs.”

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Andrew: “I want you to be your own man.”

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Andrew: “I’m trying!”

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Andrew: “Kind of. I’m just a weirdo.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Listeners, how are you guys doing? We’re doing good! Oh, great.”

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Andrew: “Oh, shoot!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: “So much jive turkey gobbling about to happen right here on TBTL.”

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Andrew: “TBTL is, was, and ever shall be Too Beautiful To Live.”

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Andrew: “There’s a radio show called ‘Says You!’. It is the dorkiest public radio quiz show you can imagine; and, I love it!”

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Andrew: “This is what we call a ‘power out’ in the business.”

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Andrew: “We do have Ask Sean Anything, or maybe Ask Sean Almost Anything. Umm, which I guess would be AS-Aaaaaah.”

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Andrew and Sean: “Ooh! Oh! Mmm! Mmmh! Ahhh! (Before I get into the…) Whoa!”

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Andrew and Sean: “Or, just each flower has its own cycle. Dunno. Okay, more questions than answers. Are we talking about menses now? Oh, let’s move on.”

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Andrew and Sean: “This is a quiz called, ‘Harry Planter’. That sounds bad. Yeah.”

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Andrew and Sean: Wah-Wah

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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Sean: Aryan Mason

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Andrew, Sean and Aaron Mason: Sean and Aaron kept interrupting Andrew’s intro to the “Is This a Plant or Is This a Harry Potter Character?” game

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Sean: “Bagel, Beagle, Boggle, Boogle, Baggle”

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Sean: “Cadmus. Cadmus makes me think of Cadbury, which makes me think of eggs, which makes think of bunny rabbits, which makes me think of Harry Potter!”

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Sean: “Can we just edit all that out?”

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Sean: “Harry Planter”

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Sean: “I try to say, ‘Squiggle less,’ it’s like, ‘No, squiggle more!'”

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Sean: “I’m using the word terrarium very loosely; because, we didn’t make any G-D terrariums that day. We essentially made plants in glass vessels.”

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Sean: “I’m winning at life, boys.”

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Sean: “It’s a sexy jam for the sexy hams out there.”

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Sean: “My brain, sometimes, doesn’t work!”

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Sean: “My Cream of hWheat”

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Sean: “Oh my God”

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Sean: “You were up crap stream without a paddle.”

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Sean and Aaron Mason: “Aryan Mason. No!!!”

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Sean and Andrew: “And, that would be Andrew Walsh, the picky eater. Exactly.”

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Sean and Andrew: “Bringing up some memories! (What is that?) Like the corners of my mind!”

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Sean and Andrew: “I’m gonna have to tune into that. Do not!”

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Sean and Andrew: “That’s B-A-N-A-N-A-S. That’s, that’s bananas. That is bananas.”

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Sean and Andrew: “Well, I don’t eat a lot of ice cream because I’m lactose intolerant. I just can’t tolerate you (Yeah, and you shouldn’t) anymore. Get out of my house.”

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Sean and Andrew: “You see my thumb? It’s hella green, bro! It actually… Actually, that’s just the… That’s spinach. That’s spinach, yeah.”

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Sean, Andrew and Aaron Mason: “There’s a John Stamen. There is… Can you lose a point for that?”

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Clips From TBTL #2177

Aaron Mason: “I’m a strong flavor, right? I’m like licorice.”

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Aaron Mason: “It gets in my craw!”

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Aaron Mason: Laughing

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Aaron Mason: “LRB is after me. It’s a whole scene.”

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Aaron Mason: “Milk, He Wrote?”

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Aaron Mason: “Oh, God!”

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Aaron Mason: “Squirrel!”

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Aaron Mason: “Three, two, one. One, two, three. What the heck is bothering me.”

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Aaron Mason: “Toughen up, buttercup!”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “And, I mean Luke has rebuilt an engine. Not Burbank. Not Burbank. I know for a fact, first hand, that he cannot rebuild engines. I’ve been on a broken boat with him. Yeah.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Come on!!! I made your bed.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “To wrap it all up, it’s you, baby! (Yeah, I guess so) You are! You’re thin-skinned! (Yeah) You get upset (Oh, God) when people…Like, we know that. It’s fine. It’s probably not fine.”

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Andrew: “Alright, you guys… Here’s everything you need to know about the next hour of your life. You are listening to a podcast called TBTL; which, stands for: Too Beautiful To Live”

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Andrew: “Big booming voice”

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Andrew: “Cut that out. That’s not what words mean.”

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Andrew: Describing who and what Luke and Andrew are and do on the show

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Andrew: “I am such a baby.”

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Andrew: “I like it. It kind of got this hand-clappy, boot-stompy feel to it.”

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Andrew: “I went home and I bit my pillow.”

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Andrew: “I’m not famous for anything, but I can eat a lot of hot dogs in one sitting.”

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Andrew: “If I listen to Andrew describe music one more time, I’m gonna drive my car off a cliff!”

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Andrew: “If this person talks like this; but, I’m in the voice. I’m committed at this point to it.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Milk, She Wrote”

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Andrew: “Scuttling it up with my whining.”

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Andrew: “Slash man-boy”

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Andrew: “You know, the good news is, we don’t have any listeners who like to Photoshop me into weird scenarios. So, I’m sure that’ll never happen.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Aaron, how the hell are you doing? I’m doing great. First of all, I go by Aidan now. I’ve changed it. So guilty. You really stepped in it yesterday, didn’t you? Boy, howdy.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Have you been naked there? Nnnnnnno. No.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “How dare you question whether or not we’ll deliver on our Goddamn… Who are you!?! (Rawwwr) Is what I said.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I don’t, so I won’t. I don’t, so I won’t!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I got real Jessica Fletcher on his ass yesterday. That’s a show title. Milk, He Wrote? That’s the show title!!! Milk, She Wrote. I don’t have a pen.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I got the paper rattle thing, what do you call it? Oh, Shuffling Papes! I got the Shuffling Papes (What’s up, Bobby!) today.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Nothing like a fat, full guy scooting (Angrily) home, angrily… I’m gonna write a Yelp! review.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Remember: No mountain too tall, and good luck to all!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “There are dozens of us. However… (Dozens!)”

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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Ron Upshaw: Ron Upshaw crashed the TBTL show recording

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Ron Upshaw: “Can, can people Photoshop some Andrew Walsh ‘The Metal Years’ memes for us please?”

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Ron Upshaw: “Come to Akron, Ohio, fire breathing dragons, Sacrafix!”

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Clips From TBTL #2176

Aaron Mason: “#BlameBing”

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Aaron Mason: “Ba-boom!”

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Aaron Mason: “Don’t listen to me, I’m an idiot.”

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Aaron Mason: “I’d say you look nervous and unsettled; but, honestly, how can you tell anymore?”

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Aaron Mason: “Mess with their minds, man! They’ll never know! Was it live or was it Memorex!!?”

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Aaron Mason: “Name you kid whatever you want.”

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Aaron Mason: “Neinen”

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Aaron Mason: “No!”

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Aaron Mason: “Once again, we’ll be back with the world’s worst bragger.”

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Aaron Mason: “The drugs are in the water, man!”

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Aaron Mason: “They’re not liking it!”

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Aaron Mason: “What!?!”

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Aaron Mason: “You know what? The door’s that way. I’ll, I’ll take it from here.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “#BlameBing. Blame Bing.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Total power move, all about intimidation. Wow.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “We’ll be back with the world’s worst bragger. Jesus Christ.”

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Andrew: “A pastiche of homages”

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Andrew: “Ahh! Screw it!”

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Andrew: “Alright, I’ll eat the worm.”

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Andrew: “And the listeners are so sick of me talking about it.”

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Andrew: “Auntie Jessica’s Case Files”

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Andrew: “Awwww!”

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Andrew: “Bad men!”

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Andrew: “By the way, do I say ‘Jesus Christ’ a lot?”

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Andrew: “Day two of Luke Burbank’s vacation, leaving me in charge.”

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Andrew: “He’s also the reason why I’m a KIRO today. And, frankly, I’m a little intimidated by him.”

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Andrew: “I’m basically a fiscal liberal, social conservative.”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna lie. I feel out of my element here a little bit.”

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Andrew: “It’s one of the most universally rec–I’ve already messed it up. Let me start over.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “You are the worst!”

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Andrew: “Or, I’m getting Binged again.”

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Andrew: “She Writes, Murder!!!”

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Andrew: “Stay right where you are, nobody’s going anywhere. You’re gonna listen to this Tuesday installment of TBTL; and, you’re gonna like it.”

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Andrew: “That is not good broadcasting; and, that’s me talking!”

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Andrew: “That’s my catchphrase!”

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Andrew: “These teeth are clean!”

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Andrew: “They’re very back-slappy about it.”

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Andrew: “Uh, eff this!”

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Andrew: “Wow.”

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Andrew: “You can’t tell me to floss, you’re not my dad! And, I never asked to be born!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron insulted then apologized to Aidan

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron rattles off the Konami Code

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew is pressuring Aaron to drink the milk left outside the studio

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew wants Aaron to count his fillings on air

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew’s computer died and Aaron was to blame

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Mason gets to plug something. Aww, sweet!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “No mountain too tall. And, good luck to all. (Nice)”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Portland, West Carolina, The Bay City

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Tell them Andrew sent ya! (Oh my God)”

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TBTL Episode Calculator and Andrew: “This is episode number 2176 in a collector’s series. Nice. Thanks, Calculator! No problem, Andrew. Good luck today. Awwww! Thanks.”

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