Clips From TBTL #2858

Andrew: “Ay! Stop rememberin’ that!”

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Andrew: “But, I know people who have stopped drinking… not to brag”

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Andrew: “But, I’m talking love. I’m talking capital ‘L’ here”

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Andrew: “Cheesy, gooey, gross stuff”

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Andrew: “Could you love a turtle?”

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Andrew: “Hell, no! Hell, no!”

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Andrew: “Hey! Hold on! Big Wheel at the Cracker Factory”

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Andrew: “I couldn’t love a turtle”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I can love a condor; and, I don’t think I should… you know, have to love a condor… So, stop making me”

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Andrew: “I have no idea what prompted this”

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Andrew: “I would like to remind everybody that we… are not stoned”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Hey! Stop rememberin’ that!”

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Andrew: “Really?”

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Andrew: Saying “Like, I gotta take a shower to wake up” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Slowly saying “That rings a… bell”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “That… pretty much killed me”

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Andrew: “The fumigation of Lucas”

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Andrew: “There’s just no doubt about it that Cleveland is, right now… the most… inflated bubble of a team. Like, they haven’t done shit yet!”

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Andrew: “Ummm, bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then, when you’re here in person, I never remember to actually look at your hair through that lens; like, you always seem like… (Good. Do not stare directly into that hair) I did… I did look at it once and it growled at me. Thought that was weird”

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Andrew and Luke: Both are not stoned but rather two guys who just wake up and start talking

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning, Luke. Happy Friday! Oh, man… I’m ready… I am too. I am really feeling my Fridays today… Today’s my Friday, as we like to say”

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Andrew and Luke: “I am chasing ladies all over town. (Yeah, chasing skirts) Yep!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think… I think you’re the problem (Hey guys!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “(Yeah, I know what a fugazi is) We didn’t… We didn’t”

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Luke: “And… I’m excited about Potato Chip Rock; so, don’t rain on my parade… Twitter person. But, thank you for listening”

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Luke: “Andrew would hate this smell so much”

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Luke: “But, I think I’m going nose blind to it”

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Luke: “BYO…PMs… ampersand M?”

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Luke: “Even in a major American city, I can find a way to fuck it up”

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Luke: “I’m actually gonna go back today; but, I’m going to drive”

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Luke: “I’m gonna call an… audible. Omaha! Omaha!”

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Luke: “It just like… honestly made me wanna just start… weeping openly in the hotel room”

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Luke: “Mapping software doesn’t close a door without opening a window”

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Luke: “My nose is blown on this one”

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Luke: “Oh, come on!”

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Luke: “Rip it, wrap it and slap it”

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Luke: “That guy probably… isn’t a terrorist”

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Luke: “The Restorative Properties of Wake ‘Em Ups”

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Luke: “Welcome to Car Talk!”

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Luke: “Whoa!!”

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Luke: “Yeah… Eunice! Quit mean-mugging me from the floor!”

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Luke: “You gotta be kidding me”

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Luke: “Ziggle, zaggle… Rip it, wrap it”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think I Topo Chico’d it pretty hard… right after (Sure. Yeah… You know)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke wouldn’t live in Salem, Massachusetts because he would constantly bring up the burning of the witches

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Luke and Andrew: “One, I jogged twelve miles yesterday on accident! (Didn’t see any witches)”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is another, this is another hawk that I petted… Oh! Never suppose to pet a jayhawk… then, it will never return to its mother”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah. Am I supposed to be here right now? (Right)”

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Clips From TBTL #2857

Andrew: “All we wanna do when we wake up on this Thursday is hear the heavy breathing… of the San Diego Chicken”

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Andrew: “Alright. There you go! That is your, that is your Blursday: Blursting at the Seams Edition”

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Andrew: “Andrew… nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine… Like, just… take a breath… you’re just gonna do a podcast. It’s fine”

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Andrew: “Blursdays do not work… without my microphone… being turned on”

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Andrew: “Calm down, Lil’ Bow Wow. Middle age is gonna come for you too”

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Andrew: “Echo of cacophony”

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Andrew: “Have you ever monkeyed around with this thing before?”

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Andrew: “I can’t figure out what is… more terrible”

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Andrew: “I didn’t write down any show titles, Lucas!”

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Andrew: “I don’t understand it, bro!”

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Andrew: “I get, you know… me, I get a little stampy”

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Andrew: “I mean, you can… can’t take the elitist out of the boy”

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Andrew: “I wouldn’t say high-brow; but, they’re both good, kinda, slapsticky comedies that smart people can enjoy… That was a snobby sentence… Add that to our list of snobbiest things I’ve said on TBTL this year”

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Andrew: Imitating the “Uh-oh!” drop

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Andrew: Imitating the “Uh-oh!” drop #2

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Andrew: “Is there a right way to Blursday?”

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Andrew: “It’s so embarrassing”

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Andrew: “Just wanna hear breathing”

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Andrew: “Man… I wish I was drunk”

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Andrew: “Me birthing out antacid… while I’m looking up what ‘stans’ are”

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Andrew: “Nobody even knows I’m doing it; and, it’s just so, I just hate myself”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, are you a Kan-stan?”

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Andrew: “That was a snobby sentence”

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Andrew: “The Wazzu! Are you talking about the Wazzu?”

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Andrew: “Then, I’m gonna sit there and, kind of, like, grumpily eat… and, I don’t like to eat grumpy”

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Andrew: “When you… say Twitter, you talk about the validation machine on your phone?”

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Andrew: Whispering “So, watch out!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew proposes a rule for TBTL in which they don’t list different phrases for sexy times

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Andrew and Luke: “I want to be on the 737… Max Legroom (Max Legroom)”

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Andrew and Luke: “There are dozens of you! Dozens!”

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Luke: “And, I was… again, kinda… sort of… butthurt about the whole experience”

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Luke: “Eight simple rules for hosting my podcast”

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Luke: “For once, Andrew, this isn’t about you”

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Luke: “I didn’t get stampy”

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Luke: “I know this is so boring. I’m sorry”

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Luke: “I know… jack shit about Canadian culture”

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Luke: “Instagram… is marijuana to me”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “See, Andrew? This is… this is… mindful Luke”

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Luke: “Thank you for taking this away from me”

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Luke: “That’s the next… two… plus weeks of my life”

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Luke: “That’s where, like, I become like a real, legit insane person”

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Luke: “They brought me extra nuts!”

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Luke: “We’re blursting at the seams… with Blursday messages”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can we diagnose the issue? Do you have to pee? Sometimes that’s what stresses me out and I don’t realize it. Wait, hold on… I did have to pee… Thank you! I feel (Ah, good) better now. Let me check in with the San Diego chicken… You okay that Andrew just… peed… live on the show? He’s nodding… no”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned for sending Luke (and Andrew) the audio files from the Sound Machine and Luke trying to find the “Uh-oh!” drop

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Luke and Andrew: “I just realized… Twitter is alcohol to me… and, Instagram is pot (Mmm-hmm… Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Or more importantly… when many Americans’ parents… are… doing the nasty… Of all of the slang terms for sexual intercourse… (I know. I’m sorry) Doing the nasty. It’s not the worst; but, it’s up there”

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Clips From TBTL #2856

Andrew: “Ahhh!!!”

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Andrew: “Are you excited about Odell Beckham Jr. or not? I hate these long buildups into these shows!”

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Andrew: “Browns! Browns! Browns! In… the news!”

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Andrew: “Don’t do it, Walsh”

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Andrew: “Every now and then, we surprise ourselves… We think that we can’t learn any more about each other cuz we do this bullshit day in and day out”

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Andrew: “I don’t have a great brain for it”

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Andrew: “I hate school!”

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Andrew: “I mean, there are so many eggs that people are counting as chicken right now… it is… ridiculous”

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Andrew: “Look out world. Here come the Cleveland Browns”

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Andrew: “Maybe I’ll be… rationally… exuberant”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! Look at her; she’s so random!”

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Andrew: Reading the first few lines of the prologue from “Romeo and Juliet”

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Andrew: “Really?!?”

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Andrew: “The Browns have destroyed me year in and year out… for so many years”

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Andrew: “The Fighting TBDs”

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Andrew: “There are people who are like that; and, there are awful, awful people out there”

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Andrew: “Why do I keep extending this? We should probably start thinking about moving on”

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Andrew: “You just don’t know all of the unknowns. Not to get all Rumsfeld on this”

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Andrew: “You’re very Luke Burbank, right?”

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Listener Rockwell: TBTL (Tomato, bacon, turkey and lettuce) Sandwich

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Luke: “Are we gonna be doing a No Pork… No Point Convention”

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Luke: “Are we gonna be doing Nurn Purnk Convertion [ph]

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Luke: “Don’t even get me started on the Hoobastank defense; which, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna touch that shit!”

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Luke: “No, I’m the diviest… dive bar guy… that ever dived”

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Luke: Singing “I am the clean one”

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Luke: Singing “I’m a bad mama jama!”

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Luke: Singing “When I come up in the crib! [ph]

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Luke: “The H is O… The heat is off”

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Luke: “The other weird layer to this… is that people had been doing this shit forever by buying fucking buildings!”

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Luke: “This is gonna sound… like I’m being sarcastic… but, you really have me figured out”

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Luke: “This is the last… day that I will be doing the show from Burbank Springs… forever… Not really… just for the next, I don’t know, two and a half weeks”

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Luke: “To be or not to be!! Quoth the raven!!”

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Luke: “Well, la-ti-da!”

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Luke: “Whoa-Dell!”

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Luke: “Yes! It worked!”

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Luke: “You really have me figured out”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m like borderline attracted to you right now. That is… (Oh, that’s why, that’s why I memorized it) cool! That’s like…”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m, I’m like practically low-T now! My body is breaking down! I am shuffling towards the grave… Why is my body still making pimples? I don’t understand it… Yeah. Now, it’s like, you get pimples and you cry about it… That’s, like, the sad thing”

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Luke and Andrew: “Who is this? I wanna make sure I never listen to them again? I was gonna say… you’re probably gonna hate this”

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Clips From TBTL #2855: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Anthony Swarzak and the Mariners roll into Baltimore… looking to keep their ERA below six!”

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Luke: “Come out, come out wherever you are”

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Luke: “Complex structures like a pyramid”

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Luke: Drawn out “Hey there!”

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Luke: “Heeyah!”

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Luke: “I can feel your bungholes clenching from here”

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Luke: “I don’t know what the point of that story was, Andrew”

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Luke: “I love that kinda shit”

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Luke: “I’ve watched good men die on the hill of self-promotion”

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Luke: “If your finger is ever being sewn back on provisionally… ya got probs”

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Luke: “Lead with the Conan… feed with the Spotless, okay?”

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Luke: “Like, it’s just… hours of this, kind of, bullshit”

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Luke: “My angle is gonna be zero promotion!”

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Luke: “My Luther Burbank brand is strong!”

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Luke: “Nama-saw, nama-say, na-nemesis?”

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Luke: “Ooh, bust! Cap! Roast!”

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Luke: “Ooh, cap! Bust!”

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Luke: “Putting in all kinds of metadata into the… Internet… part of the show”

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Luke: Rapping “Ya need to establish a board”

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Luke: Singing the North Seattle Christian High School fight song

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Luke: “Some people have said these dreams are in opposition to each other… Some people have described these dreams… as each other’s natural enemies”

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Luke: “Some people just shine!”

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Luke: “Somebody told me that that horse didn’t just love rocking, it needed to rock”

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Luke: “The extra Y… stands for… ‘yamberry'”

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Luke: “These are my dudes”

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Luke: “Those were the magic words!”

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Luke: “Well… now you’re in”

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Luke: “What the hell?”

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Luke: “When that was gone, I would just lie down in the snow and… say goodbye to the world”

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Luke: “Would ya like some ice cream, Doc?”

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Luke: “You gotta just, like, flog, flog, flog, flog, flog your project”

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Luke and Andrew: Addressing the catroll caused by Andrew going to CrankyYandy.com instead of CrankyAndy.com

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew wanting to make sure that people have the correct context and emphasis on him saying “proud boy”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s a Luke… (House!) house!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “What I want to say is… Thank you Kelsey… Becky… Adam, Carol… Nancy and Margo… for not making sure that this world doesn’t not exist” and Andrew having a good laugh

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Would ya like some ice cream, Doc?” and Andrew laughing

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Clips From TBTL #2855: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “Creeping around in attics and basements just makes me need to go to the bathroom immediately”

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Andrew: “Doo!”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “Here’s the new show! Here’s the new show! Here’s the new show!”

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Andrew: “Hey, this is… completely self-serving”

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Andrew: “I got 3rd Bass here”

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Andrew: “I had to put this book down and just, like… dig into this… fucking Lolleredliness [ph]

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Andrew: “I have a… I have a… a, a dark web theory… a conspiracy theory”

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Andrew: “I love Warby Parker. Come back to TBTL. I’ll cut this all out of… the show”

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Andrew: “I mean, I am super scared of heights”

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Andrew: “I should not admit this”

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Andrew: “I took this show to Boring Town”

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Andrew: “I’ve done all I can to make myself clear”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Oh, shit! My finger”

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Andrew: Reading the Walsh Jesuit alma mater

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, no!” while laughing

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Andrew: “See, that one’s on me”

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Andrew: Singing “I want to wish you… an unhappy Facebook”

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Andrew: “That is one hundred percent… make me need to poop territory”

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Andrew: “There are some… dazzling, damn deets in there though!”

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Andrew: “This is hazard pay, man!”

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Andrew: “Thus, adding to my proud boy status”

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Andrew: “Thus, adding to my proud boy status. I’m sorry… proud…boy status. Damnit! See, that one’s on me”

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Andrew: “What is the context here?”

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Andrew: “What the hell are we doing!?”

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Andrew: “Wow! We haven’t won a game in four weeks”

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Andrew and Luke: Coming up with ideas for answering the question of what TBTL is about

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Andrew and Luke: “I was a little Cranky Yandy! I think that was… Were you Cranky Andy or Cranky… Yandy?”

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Clips From TBTL #2854

Andrew: “Aw, shit! I forgot book five of Game of Thrones”

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Andrew: “I am a proud boy”

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Andrew: “I love the fact that you guys are all thirteen again!”

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Andrew: “I told you guys we could do it! Look at us! No–nothing can stop us!”

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Andrew: “I was reading a BoingBoing article”

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Andrew: “I’m going to, at some point, be fertile ground for that music… to plant its seed in me… Sorry… It’s Monday. I’m working out some kinks… Literally… I’m gonna learn how to talk again by Friday; then, I’ll forget… all again by next Monday”

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Andrew: “If you’re not supposed to be here, just give me a sign!”

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Andrew: “Isn’t it like Dipoto plus Servais… equals Felix? D plus X equals F?”

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Andrew: “It’s just… not… the right time for me”

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Andrew: “It’s not making me feel good”

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Andrew: “My brain is always pushing information out to make room for… new information”

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Andrew: “Now, why, why did I even do this?”

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Andrew: “Oh, nice! Where was it?”

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Andrew: Saying “I don’t think we should. Like, I dunno! Like, I got flat feet and I’m fat!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “This isn’t your victory”

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Andrew: “This… is so stressful”

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Andrew: “Wait. Who is this guy again?”

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Andrew: “What, Luke? I’m just saying, I am a proud boy. What is wrong with that?”

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Andrew: “When you’re talking about the rhythm, you gotta watch out; because, that rhythm is gonna getcha”

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Andrew: “You don’t have to right to be proud”

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Andrew: “You were ready to give up!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m going to, at some point, be fertile ground for that music… to plant its seed in me… Sorry… It’s Monday. I’m working out some kinks… Literally… I’m gonna learn how to talk again by Friday; then, I’ll forget… all again by next Monday”

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Luke: “But, what about the thirteen-thousand eggs that follow me… who will… who will crack them up with hilarious… insights about… daylight saving time, et cetera?”

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Luke: “Cuz, it feels cool and outdoorsy”

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Luke: “I mean I get… hundreds of things… wrong per episode”

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Luke: “I, I was… shocked! Shocked!!”

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Luke: “My precious, precious tabs”

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Luke: “Next time I accidentally fart on Carey in the middle of the night, I’m gonna say… I’m moving things–I’m moving my business in the fart direction… my love. I apologize”

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Luke: “Now we’re in a math world that I am not… familiar with”

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Luke: “Ooh! Elicit”

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Luke: “Rudy… this is working!”

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Luke: Singing “Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa. Men have…”

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Luke: Singing “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, and something, something”

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Luke: “That is absolute dream breath right there”

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Luke: “This… is Luke’s… ball”

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Luke: “What the what, Sonos?”

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Luke: “Why am I doing this to myself right now?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m having a hard time motivating to watch them; and, I can’t quite figure out why… Well, because it’s rough!”

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