Tag: Chris Hayes

Andrew: “All of the candles in the world could not change the fate of this bathroom around”

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Andrew: “Do you guys say ‘surf the net’ or ‘surf the web’?”

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Andrew: “Have you ever been in a restroom?”

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Andrew: “I also set a lot of alarms”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if I wanna dip back into that”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna wake up to Ugly Kid Joe”

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Andrew: “I think John’s out of his head on this one”

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Andrew: “If you’re around people, and they’re not wearing their masks, fart away”

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Andrew: “Love you, sweetie… Bye”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! This is screwed!”

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Andrew: “Okay, listen… Listeners… just–Luke. You sit back for a second, okay? I’m talking directly to the listeners”

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Andrew: Saying “I can’t feel my fingers!” as Paul McCartney

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Andrew: Saying “I have to play anything, if you don’t want me to” as George Harrison

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Andrew: “Thanks, James. You piece of dirt”

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Andrew: “That spoke to my, like… you know… love of doohickeyness”

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Andrew: “This is where it’s probably a good thing that I’m such a beta”

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Andrew: “Turns out, I’m dead inside”

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Andrew: “Well, you’re not gonna get anything back from me”

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Andrew: “When you were born, the doctor didn’t have the proper reaction”

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Andrew: “When you were born, the doctor spanked the wrong end… Boom!”

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Chris Hayes: “And, I just got… so obsessed. Like, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed”

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Chris Hayes: “Hey… buddy! Shut up! We’re the Beatles… okay?”

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Chris Hayes: “It’s unproblematic colonizing”

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Chris Hayes: “Oh no! No-no-no-no!”

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Chris Hayes: “Pop, soda, sneakers, trainers, tennis shoes”

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Chris Hayes: Singing “Two of us wearing raincoats”

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Chris Hayes: Singing “Two of us wearing raincoats” #2

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Chris Hayes: “These guys are just, like… un…real!”

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Chris Hayes: “These guys were rip… had their faces ripped off, financially”

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Chris Hayes: “They sound… un…freaking…credible… together”

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Chris Hayes: “Yeah, I know I sound like a dick! A bossy dick!”

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Listener Laura: Singing the “Chilly Willy” theme song

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Luke: “Calling You In On Calling It Out… The TBTL Timeout Program”

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Luke: “Chunk”

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Luke: “Fuck that guy!”

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Luke: “I remember the, ‘Hah-hee-hah-choo’!”

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Luke: “I’m becoming the league leader, Andrew, in shelved stories right now”

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Luke: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem, Burbs”

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Luke: “It ain’t right in there! Like… people are not doing well”

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Luke: “Oh… my… God!”

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Luke: Saying “I fart in your general direction!” as the French Guard

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Luke: Singing “Hate everything about you”

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Luke: “The ghost of a thousand dookies”

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Luke: “U-G-L-Y. You ain’t got no alibi. You ugly”

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Luke: “What the bleep with the Chargers’ coach and the timeout?”

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Luke: “When God was handing out dicks, you thought he said ‘sticks,’ and asked for a twig”

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Luke: “You like Andy times”

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Andrew: Andrew muting his own microphone mid-sentence

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Andrew: “Cuz, I love a morning zoo format… I just don’t always like the chuckle-heads”

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Andrew: “God, grant me the serenity to hit… on a soft seventeen”

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Andrew: “God! Where are those?”

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Andrew: “Hmmh?”

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Andrew: “I cannot go to the bathroom, Luke”

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Andrew: “I cannot… go to the bathroom”

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Andrew: “I’m dead”

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Andrew: “I’m proud of my spoof at the top, though”

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Andrew: “It just said, ‘DIA’ and I was trying to be smart. And, I said, ‘Detroit'”

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Andrew: “Jinkies”

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Andrew: “Like, zoinks!”

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Andrew: “Not Optima conditions”

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Andrew: “Now, listen. I know that you’re a man of a certain age”

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Andrew: “Powah out!”

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Andrew: “Should I e-mail my landlord and see if I’m allowed to go to the bathroom?”

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Andrew: “Sorry. That was a really dumb thing I just did”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew muting his own microphone mid-sentence and feeling stupid doing it

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Andrew and Luke: “Hmmh? Yes! Scooby… when you’re right, you’re right”

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Andrew and Luke: “I… need to go to the bathroom now, though! And… it’s a pandemic (You need to go number three)”

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Chris Hayes and Luke: “Number two: you are still saying ‘body’ and not ‘ba-ah-dy’… And, that’s still driving me nuts… Talk to Linh”

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Luke: “Andrew-bot! I’m glad you fired that sound effect”

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Luke: “Are you currently freakin’?”

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Luke: “Autocomplete is not my friend”

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Luke: “Duck you, Ders”

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Luke: “Ducking Ders!”

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Luke: “How annoying would it be if you are Robert Downey Jr.? End of sentence”

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Luke: “Hrnh?”

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Luke: “Saturday is for the Bros…zeman”

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Luke: Singing “Fly by night!”

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Luke: “We’re just getting famous Lukes… by the moment here”

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Luke and Andrew: “Butte-ing your own microphone (Yes)”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “Good review, good review, good review”

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Andrew: “I did something during your intro that would horrify you”

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Andrew: “I just don’t do it that much”

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Andrew: “I’m doing well. Thanks for asking. I’m doing alright! Thanks for asking… Eh, I’ve been better. Thanks for asking”

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Andrew: “I’m just going out to do some online shopping!”

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Andrew: “I’m triple-fisting it”

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Andrew: “It’s called, ‘fore-shirt-ering'”

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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound

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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound #2

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Andrew: Making a mouth popping sound #3

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Andrew: “Ooh, I said, ‘looked good’… So, you already know, I’m already planting the seeds of what’s gonna happen to the shirt in the future”

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Andrew: “Really, D? I call him, ‘D'”

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Andrew: “Skip it!? Farts!”

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Andrew: “Somehow, make me pregnant”

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Andrew: “They’re the ones who sewed pink on the butt?”

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Andrew: “Unfortunately, I just feel like I’m the one with poop on my head in this book”

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Andrew: “Well, it didn’t feel good”

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Andrew: “Well, son of a gun!”

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Andrew: Whispering “There it is”

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Andrew: “Yee-haw!”

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Andrew: “Yes! I am seen!”

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Andrew: “You are going in the garbage now. You’re no… you’re no good to anybody. You’re no good to me and you’re no good to anybody”

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Andrew: “You are going in the garbage now. You’re no… you’re no good to anybody. You’re no good to me and you’re no good to anybody. So, you’re going in the garbage with the cat litter”

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Chris Hayes: Leaving a voicemail message about Luke and Andrew not saying “ba-ah-dy” instead of “body” on the show lately

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Luke: “Alright… alright… alright”

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Luke: “Don’t talk about it!! Whatever you do, don’t mention it!”

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Luke: “He basically had a problem with gambling; which, has happened to… some of my very favorite people who are me”

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Luke: “Hey, Andrew! How’s it going? Hey, Andrew… How’s it going? Hey. Andrew… How’s it going?”

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Luke: “Hey, is your software racist?”

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Luke: “I don’t think anybody but me cares”

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Luke: “No, not you, Pom… But, maybe if you had a friend who was just cranberry. Oh, there you are! You were hiding! Oh, look at you in my refrigerator. I’m bringing you in… to listen to me… co-host a podcast”

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Luke: “Now, I’m beyond… underwhelmed”

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Luke: “Oh my God, please die”

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Luke: Saying “Dear diary… it’s day one… I am in jail. I never thought I would ever be in jail… I miss my family. What have I done to be in jail” as Craig Carton

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Luke: Singing the beginning of “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” theme song

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Luke: “Surprise!”

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Luke: “The film is a nightmare! A nightmare!”

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Luke: “Treat y’all-self”

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Luke: Voting PSA

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Andrew: “A little… fake… rubber… pile of poo”

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Andrew: “Do you know about my Dad’s fake poop?”

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Andrew: “God! Terry!”

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Andrew: “Google… that’s exactly how you say that”

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Andrew: “Growing up there was a little white box… in our basement… We had a big… (Well, shit) That came in hot”

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Andrew: “Hey, my privileged bozos”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why”

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Andrew: “I stand with Luke”

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Andrew: “I, I love you. I think you’re a beautiful man”

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Andrew: “I, I love you. I think you’re a beautiful man… That’s gonna be isolated, I know that”

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Andrew: “Is Chris gonna kill me?”

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Andrew: Making punctuated sounds

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Andrew: Mimicking the Walshelm Scream

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Andrew: “Pile of poo”

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Andrew: Saying “Luke!” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing “Drive… me… crazy”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “That came in hot”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke! You know what Nev can (Yes) do? Hmm… He can catfish”

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Andrew and Luke: “The Walshelm Scream is back! Baby!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoa! Sue! Yeah! Susie! (Right?)”

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Chris Hayes: “A very TBTL move there”

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Luke: “Catfish… is back!”

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Luke: “Luke’s moustache… unnaturally spirited”

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Luke: Making funny, punctuated sounds

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Luke: “My brain may have finally broken”

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Luke: Saying “Alright, alright, alright… It’s just you and me, compound fracture… My shin is a flat circle. That’s not good” as Matthew McConaughey

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Luke: Saying “Ha-ha!” as Nelson Muntz

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Luke: Saying “Work?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Love goals, love goals. Say that you love me”

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Luke: “So back to my beard”

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Luke: “Who-gatz on first? What? No”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s near a No Parking sign with a penis drawn on it; if that narrows it down (That is true)”

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Andrew: “It’s Dough Man’s [ph] World”

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Andrew: Saying “Are you ready for some Blursdays?” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Woof, woof, woof!”

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Andrew: “You wanna listen to your podcast? Get your own Zune!”

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Andrew: “You’ve changed me forever”

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Andrew and Luke: “Bag Man’s World! (Yep)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning, Luke… Quick question for you: when you came… in through my gate this morning, (Yes) did you see a sad looking, little garbage can out there? Is he still out there?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh my God! (Yes) Like, who am I? Who are you? (What is happening?) Look away!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow! That’s a (Yeah!) good story. Power in!”

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Chris Hayes: “It is, it is ripe in there”

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Luke: “A full… TBTL Thursday… the whole schmear, coming up”

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Luke: “Alright, everybody outta here!!! Right now!! Put your drinks down!! You’re done!”

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Luke: “As Super Mario said, ‘We’re all… just walking each other home, under a coin box'”

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Luke: “And, actually, I thought… our friend, who shall remain nameless, who took a picture at the boat did a great job”

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Luke: “Don’t… look… at the bird box… Whatever you do”

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Luke: “Hunh? Wha?”

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Luke: “I’m gonna be honest with you… I… I, I… flew in hot for this hottie”

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Luke: “Lower… neck waddle”

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Luke: “My favorite part is when they send me the birthday gifts”

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Luke: “Oh, right! I remember!”

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Luke: Saying “Weird, wild stuff… Clinton, huh? Boxers or briefs?” as Johnny Carson

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Luke: Saying “Weird, wild stuff… These are… people who could not… our dog pound tonight is people who could not get into the Ted Cruz podcast taping. Whoo, whoo, whoo!” as a cross between Johnny Carson and Arsenio Hall

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Luke: Saying “When they send me the birthday gifts” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: “Scales were falling from my eyes”

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Luke: Singing “Closing time”

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Luke: “So, I’ve got Argentina on the brain”

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Luke: “The man who mistook his Suarez for a hat?”

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Luke: “The War of Cuyahoga Aggression”

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Luke: “This… ends… here!”

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Luke: “Those… mother-bleepers got power and we didn’t”

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Luke: “What? That makes no sense!”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday. (Unhappy birthday) Because, you’re a little kid, you don’t own this car… And, if your mom wants to listen to our podcast, that’s fine”

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Luke and Andrew: “Usually, we keep things that are garbled, garbled on this show (Yes)”

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???: Odd sound was made during the outro song

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