Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “I mean, the guy’s a weirdo”

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Andrew: “I think I have a little bit more experience with… bongs than you do”

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Andrew: “I’ll do anything for a Dazzling Donor”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna have a morning beer; because, nobody knows”

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Andrew: “Is this a pimple or a boil?”

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Andrew: “It was so… nasty!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Linh! We got a new drop!”

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Andrew: “Now I’m jealous!!”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh!”

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Andrew: Saying “Do you think we should start telling our… Should we start doing our… Dazzling Donors and Blursdays in… this type of voice”

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Andrew: Saying “It’s a ladies bong for ladies” in an odd Australian accent

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Andrew: Singing “You live, you learn…”

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Andrew: Singing Game of Cats

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Andrew: “What!!? What is going on in your head!?!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing Game of Cats then saying “There… I’ll do anything for a Dazzling Donor… I love it… That was great. That was… Linh? Did you take a note? We have a new… we have a new cat-rolling sound effect; and, it’s that”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you think we should start telling our… Should we start doing our… Dazzling Donors and Blursdays in… this type of voice? So, we don’t wake… I just got a little bit of a… My ASMR skirt just got blown back a little, my friend (Alright… Calm down, Sammy)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I still have… Alanis Morissette songs going through my head after yesterday’s show. Me too!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “G-D, mother-Trucktober jam”

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Luke: “I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, Andrew… I can’t believe I’m gonna say this on the show”

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Luke: “I know how to tickle your butt with a feather”

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Luke: “It’s been TBTL certified”

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Luke: “Luke Burbank… is a terrible person”

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Luke: “Me getting to be in first class is… is a… gift from heaven that I don’t deserve”

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Luke: Saying “Ladies from Fiji” in an odd Australian accent

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Luke: Sneezing and saying “Whoo!”

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Luke: “Where does this shit end?”

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Luke: “You wanna see a lotta As, you wanna see a lotta Fs”

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Luke and Andrew: “And… we’ll see ya then. Until then, go Mariners, go eat a bagel, and please remember… NMTT &… G… L… TA”

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Luke and Andrew: “B is for bad. If you’re ever on a flight, don’t–If you have B on your ticket… run! Cuz, that’s… gonna be a middle seat. B is never, like, the window or aisle… (Mmm-hmm) but… You wanna, you wanna see a lotta As, you wanna see a lotta Fs… an occasional E… Run from B… For some reason, that just sounded dirty… I wanna see a lotta As… and I wanna see a lotta Fs”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can someone please put me into a medically-induced coma right now. Right”

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Luke and Andrew: “I know how to tickle your butt with a feather… God! Is that what you were deciding not to say; because, you should have not said it!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sneezing and saying “Whoo!” and Andrew requesting it as a drop

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “With a lady from Fiji… in that timber” in an odd Australian accent

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Andrew: “And the bun factory”

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Andrew: “Andrew! I heard there’s a whole big plate of sausage up there. Just go see if there’s a big plate of sausage up there, Andrew”

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Andrew: “Because, I’m literally insane”

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Andrew: “Because, my fear of being hollered at… is so weirdly overwhelming; yet, my dislike of filling out paperwork and forms is also overwhelming… that, it is making… me do crazy things”

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Andrew: “But, it… was so thick in the middle”

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Andrew: “Can we do our THRIVE meetings together?”

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Andrew: “Easy mistake… I understand”

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Andrew: “I already regret talking about the, the goals thing on the show… I regretted talking about the first time. I regret talking about it at the beginning of the show now”

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Andrew: “I had to gnaw at the top and bottom buns”

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Andrew: “I think Arby’s bested me”

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Andrew: “I’m doing this myself”

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Andrew: “Luke… I had to unlock my jaw… to eat… this sandwich”

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Andrew: “No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no”

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Andrew: “No. We don’t talk about it”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit, man. I… Yes!”

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Andrew: “They’re blowing it!”

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Andrew: “This is just so many different levels of wrong”

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Andrew: “This is the code of the road!”

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Andrew: “We have the fish!”

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Andrew: “What… was I thinking?”

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Andrew: “Wow. This lady… is complicated”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, now that you say that, I assume that… there will be a drop of me saying ‘This is… so many different layers of wrong…’ out there… I did leave that in the clear, intentionally, if I’m being honest”

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Andrew and Luke: “I haven’t killed anybody… That they can prove. That’s the beauty of hitchhiking… Untraceable”

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Andrew and Luke: “Jambo means hello and goodbye! Goodbye! Jambo!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Phyllis… she has a family! She’s not… (She has the Gus!) Right!”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Luke and I will… (Sure) stop… fighting… with… bells… on the show” while Andrew dinged his bell for emphasis

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Andrew and Luke: “The sandwich would not (Yeah) fit in my mouth… (Right) straight on”

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Luke: “And, holy shit, Andrew!”

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Luke: “Boom-boom!”

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Luke: “I apologize. I retract my correction. I… My B… Sorry to sharpshoot you”

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Luke: “It has entered some sort of uncanny valley… of something”

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Luke: “Like, he was such a little turd out there”

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Luke: “Like, it’s so dopey and so dumb”

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Luke: “No. Tell me more!”

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Luke: “Phyllis… we have the plans!”

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Luke: Saying “Ay, yai, yai” while dinging his bell

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Luke: Singing “Did the shark go down on you in the theater?”

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Luke: Singing “I… want… you… to know… I’m… ha…ppy for you”

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Luke: Singing “You, you oughta know”

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Luke: “The bell… in Bellingham… recognized the bell in you… That was pretty good, that was a pretty good spoof”

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Luke: Trying to make the sound from the WTOL 11 morning news viral video

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Luke: “Woodbong, Australia”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did the shark go down on you in the theater? Ohhh! Of all the lines you coulda picked… you had to go with the sexual one (No? Too much?)”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned for calling Luke out on his pronunciation of “Wagyu” and sharpshooting “Tohatsu”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m always learnding, Andrew (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “This… is… my… point. But, you’re going to end… but, my… point… is!” while dinging their bells for emphasis

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “Use… the… bell… to… talk! I… divorce… you… if… you… existed… That… got… too… real” while dinging their bells for emphasis

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Luke and Andrew: “See, your… I gotta be honest… your shit is complex. It is… It is”

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Luke and Andrew: “They have the meats… (Okay) for sandwiches!!”

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Andrew: “And, I just don’t need to work with people”

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Andrew: “And, it was like salve for my soul”

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Andrew: “Do you think I’m a team player?”

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Andrew: “Genevieve’s sausage”

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Andrew: “Get away from me. Get away from my car. Don’t look at–Are you looking at me? Don’t look at me. Get away!”

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Andrew: “Give me a major brark”

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Andrew: “Good morning. I have… slightly bad news”

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Andrew: “Hope y’all like quizzes; cuz, it’s all I know how to do”

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Andrew: “I broke up with Genevieve”

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Andrew: “I cried a lot yesterday”

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Andrew: “I think I just like doing it alone!”

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Andrew: “It was… breaking my… goddamn heart”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, there’s this part of Whole Foods that I have to hold my nose when I go through; cuz… it’s all the cheese is exposed and it stinks”

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Andrew: “Not gonna lie to you… I have been known to drunkenly eat sausage”

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Andrew: “Not gonna lie to you… I have been known to drunkenly eat sausage… Linh, I swear to God, if I hear that at the beginning of tomorrow’s show… we’re breaking up too”

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Andrew: Saying “Did you know you bought cheese sausage?”

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Andrew: “There’s only one way this is all gonna fit in here”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, like, I’m just lucky (Yeah) that… my chemicals, for right now, are relatively balanced… Mostly focused on compost… That’s true!”

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Luke: “He was the best of men, he was the blurst of men!”

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Luke: “It’s like emotionally, you were not ready for solid food… again”

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Luke: “Like, that’s… where my shit is right now”

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Luke: “Now, I have to, I have to implement… an Andrew practice”

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Luke: “Okay… dingus… Go for it”

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Luke: Saying “I use… a Tohatsu” as a pirate

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Luke: Singing “I have done a something”

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Luke: “Swab the poop deck!”

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Luke: “Yarrr!”

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Luke: “You’re needling with the wrong needle-nose”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m probably good for at least one more meltdown… (Yeah. Right) like… before we’re done with this”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, what did you end up doing? Just sausage-less… You missed that Sausage Fest? I broke up with Genevieve”

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Andrew: “A faux, modern fanciness”

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Andrew: “Alright, I’m gonna be honest with you here; I played a little bit of hooky on Friday”

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Andrew: “But… he… he does it duty-free”

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Andrew: “Come on, Tyler. You got to!”

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Andrew: “Get him to sign a mango!”

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Andrew: “I just sighed really heavily… rolled my eyes… pulled out my wallet, and then made the… errrrrrrr… creaking sound when I opened it… to illustrate my cheapness and my… begrudging attitude”

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Andrew: “I took a photo… in the bathroom in there… because… I dunno, just kinda feeling myself”

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Andrew: “I… am… a very petty person”

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Andrew: “I’ve… told stories on the show about, like, some… pretty shady dumping that I’ve done”

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Andrew: “It always makes me giggle… like a little boy, when I hear ‘duty-free'”

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Andrew: “It would actually have made me feel more comfortable if the place had been a little dumpier”

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Andrew: “It’s the fanny pack of tours”

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Andrew: “Jesus. Yeah”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Meanwhile, I’m trying to buy… two Gatorades behind you, and… I don’t like you anymore”

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Andrew: Mimicking a creaking sound

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Andrew: “Oh, right. Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “We outtie”

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Andrew: “We’re all just… rock ‘n’ roll worshippers now”

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Andrew: “Well, how about that. I cut her name… off of the e-mail”

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Andrew: “Yeah; but, will I look like a dork? Who gives a crap at this point”

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Andrew: “You gotta eat that Segway”

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Andrew and Luke: “I took a photo… in the bathroom in there… because… I dunno, just kinda feeling myself, since I took a selfie. No, I… (I’m curious to see how this sentence ends)”

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Luke: “God, we’re so old”

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Luke: “I’m a bum… but, I’m a Harvard bum”

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Luke: “I’m about done with this”

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Luke: “I’m just kind of a scam artist by nature”

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Luke: “I’m… fighting the urge to go into borderline religious talk”

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Luke: “Let’s do this”

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Luke: “Puttering… in my tonight pants”

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Luke: “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”

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Luke: “Tufts, that’s what keeps falling out of my… clumps of that keep falling out of my head… Know what I mean?”

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Luke: “We will sit shiva… on a Segway”

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Andrew: “Did you go down into the bowels of CBS yesterday and ask them to re-take your picture?”

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Andrew: “Everybody who saw that photo does love you a little bit less”

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Andrew: “Hello, goldfish darling”

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Andrew: “I’m over here… slaving over a la… a hot laptop, or a… lop hat top. It’s early. I’m working out the kinks”

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Andrew: “I’m working out the kinks”

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Andrew: “Literally coming in hot before I even said a word”

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Andrew: “No, it’s about waking up. I hate waking up”

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Andrew: Saying “And the Pudding Pops” as Bill Crosby

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Andrew: Singing “I forget too much… I mumble too much”

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Andrew: Singing “Oh, High School College, we adore thee”

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Andrew: “The Lyfts, and the Ubers, and the public transportation, and everything”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, goldfish darling… Hello, Andrew darling”

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Luke: “As those extremely… important people… were… were streaming through and… and going to feed at the trough that I was trying wedge my piggy nose into”

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Luke: “Boop!”

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Luke: “By the way… Tod Koppel… keeping it tight!”

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: “Had he not taken it off… the hotel would be burning to the ground right now”

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Luke: “Hello, Andrew darling”

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Luke: “I don’t even know what my point was in this. I just wanted to be heard, I guess, Andrew”

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Luke: “If we just kept on getting one more little… gew-gaw”

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Luke: Making a recoiled reaction sound

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Luke: “My point is, I know I’m sounding very complainy about what is basically a very lucky charmed life that I have”

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Luke: “Oh, boy… This is, I’m not gonna be able to complete this thought”

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Luke: Singing “High School, High School College. Founded by Roger High School. What a weird last name. This is now a hymn”

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Luke: Singing “I stop remembering too much”

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Luke: Singing “So much to say, so much to say” as Adam Sandler in the style of Henny Youngman

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Luke: Singing “The musics of the night”

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Luke: “Stop! Do not! No! Do not go into the office!”

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Luke: “We’ll never need shampoo again!”

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Luke: “What is my life come to? I’m closing my own… hatch… like a commoner!?”

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