Clips From TBTL #2030

Andrew: “And I was like, ‘Ooh, I like Fame!'”

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Andrew: “And it talks about sports too much!”

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Andrew: “And then I had a good cry.”

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Andrew: “Hey, come on. Sean Penn and Kanye West, get your shit together and take a page from our book!”

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Andrew: “Hey, man.”

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Andrew: “I almost Googled it, but then I was like, ‘That smacks of effort!'”

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Andrew: “My God, man!”

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Andrew: Reading text message to Steve Neuman, inviting him on to No Point Conversion

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Andrew: “Tell him The Bone sent ya!!!”

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Andrew: “That would be so hard to do!”

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Andrew: “The lesson here is, never let Luke go first.”

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Andrew: “This is homer talk.”

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Andrew: “Wow! Such a gory accident to result in such a sexy trait.”

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Andrew: “You know”

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Andrew and Luke: Feeling left out of a potential texting session between Luke and the Stu-bot

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Andrew and Luke: “I emitted some sort of noise that I have never made before, and then (Probably from your butt) I got really, really light headed. I was making noises from all kinds of places. (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: As the football season went on, Andrew’s love for other teams went away and he got crankier

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Luke: “And just giving less and less Fs as time goes on.”

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Luke: “And, God bless my bride Carey.”

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Luke: Bill Brasky and David Bowie

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Luke: “Dude is elusive!”

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Luke: “How, bummed!”

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Luke: “Huh?!?”

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Luke: “I ain’t afraid of dyin’, I already done that!”

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Luke: “I don’t. I can’t. It’s. Did that? What?”

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Luke: “I’m gilding the lily here, folks!”

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Luke: “I’m Tony-ing the Rizzo here, you guys!”

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Luke: “It almost fried the circuitry of my brain.”

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Luke: “It would be rough!!!”

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Luke: Singing “A three hour nap”

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Luke: “We are not enemies. We are friends.”

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Luke: “What, what Sean Penn has created is basically the TBTL of articles.”

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Luke and Andrew: Awwing

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Luke and Andrew: “No! If they want that, listen to (Mike Greenburg) Mike Greenburg! Okay? This is my two hours, Andrew!!!”

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Steve Neuman: “It was so cold, guys. It was really, really cold.”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh my God!”

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Steve Neuman: “So now, you guys want to talk about sports.”

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Steve Neuman: Stages of Grief

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Steve Neuman: “When they were doing the ‘Sea, Sea! Hawks, Hawks!’ chant and people were going ‘Fuck, fuck! You, you!'”

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Clips From TBTL #2029: Andrew Walsh and Stu-bot Edition

As with the past several shows, Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a voicemail message for the guys in the run-up for the Seahawks vs Vikings game that was played on Sunday. Below are three little gems from his voicemail message:

Steve Neuman: “Anyway… Whatever. Later skitters!”

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Steve Neuman: “Hey Luke. Hey Andrew, it’s your boy Stu.”

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Steve Neuman: “Most of the God damn newsletter. There’s another swear, sorry guys. Most of the gosh darn fucking newsletter.”

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Andrew: “Bring me Katie Nolan!!! Oh, please, please, Carey, someday, just walk into the room while Luke is just staring forlornly at his remote control saying ‘Katie Nolan! Katie Nolan!'”

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Andrew: Dejected “Umm, no.”

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Andrew: “Do not write checks with your mouth that your ass can’t cash, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Donovan mode!”

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Andrew: “Gene Parmesan!!!”

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Andrew: “God damn it!!!”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank!”

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Andrew: “Is there no place in this long podcast for just a taste of Cosmic Wheels!?!”

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Andrew: “It blows my mind.”

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Andrew: “My face is melting!”

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Andrew: Nose Laugh

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “This has to stop! What are these guys doing? I hate Luke and Andrew!”

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Andrew: “You’re welcome everybody. No more Donovan for the show.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew just typed in a cheat code for Mike Tyson’s Punch Out

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Andrew and Luke: “Wait, no, the 70s was way more than 30 years, that was 45 years ago. Fuck! I’m even getting older than I thought!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well now, it sounds like you’re the problem… frankly. Have you (Calm down) met me, Andrew? (Calm Down)”

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Clips From TBTL #2028

For the third show in a row, Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a voicemail message on the TBTL line and talked more about the upcoming Seahawks vs Vikings game. Both Luke and Andrew were wondering when Stu-bot would start throwing down some trash talk about Seattle and/or about the Seahawks; and, well, Stu-bot sort of delivered on a series of “burns”:

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In addition to the “burns”, Stu-bot had this little gem regarding how cold it will be.

Steve Neuman: “It is still gonna be super God damn cold.”

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Andrew: “Ah, that must be fucking nice.”

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Andrew: “But, what are they?”

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Andrew: “Cuz I was wearing a God damn tuxedo.”

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Andrew: “Funny you should use that drop for me today. No, I’m not drunk. I realized it that’s what it sounds like. But, man! Last night, Luke”

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Andrew: “Go faster, scumbag!!!”

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Andrew: “I hope I don’t sound like a shallow bastard. I guess you guys’ll let me know if I do.”

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Andrew: “I love me some bingo.”

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Andrew: “I mean, that would just make me a monster.”

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Andrew: “I respect you as a woman and I know you don’t always get a fair shake in the world, but I need you to do this bench press now!!!”

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Andrew: “I swear”

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Andrew: “I’m not making a joke here. Which wedding?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Members of the family Solanaceae. I nailed that!”

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Andrew: “No problemo, duderino.”

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Andrew: “Oh, I can eat whatever; because, what are you gonna do, we’re at the airport!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Lester”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah. Shit.”

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Andrew: “Party!”

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Andrew: “Right. Right, right, right.”

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Andrew: “This, that’s a good way for me to get the last word, huh? We’re gonna move on, but first, I’m gonna lay a bunch of shit on you!”

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Andrew: “We were there to party!”

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Andrew: “We’ll be skiing down mountains of drugs.”

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Andrew: Weird Sound

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Andrew: “Yeah, hah-hah.”

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Andrew: “You’re really good at connecting the dots today, aren’t you?”

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Andrew and Luke: Once you get into the groof

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “They let my dog out. I tipped them at Christmas-time. But I never know how much. Life is so weird.”

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Andrew and Luke: “When I get into a groove where I’m only eating like… A what? Oh, it’s like a groof.”

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Andrew and Luke: Wolfgang Pucking

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Luke: “Andrew Walsh, boot camp instructor.”

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Luke: “But I need you to fucking run!!!”

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Luke: “But, it would be so Andrewian.”

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Luke: “I just want enough money, Andrew, that I have someone to let my dog out.”

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Luke: Incorrectly stated that it was the TBTL’s 10th Birthday, when it was actually the 8th

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Luke: “It numbs the mind and the belly!”

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Luke: “Pod-dog is snuggled in her Pod-dogging bed.”

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Luke: Singing “Working on your night shades”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “Whatever. We’re gonna make the listeners angry.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hold on, Pod-dog is anxious. (Oh, Pod-dog) I may, I may have to let the dog out, Andrew. Who…you? Me! Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hold your fire nerds! Hold your fire nerds.”

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Clips From TBTL #2027

Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a another voicemail message for the guys regarding the upcoming Seattle Seahawks vs Minnesota Vikings game and the guys played it on the show. Before Stu-bot got into the meat of things, he started plugging Andrew and Genevieve’s “After These Messagespodcast.

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Stu-bot also ended the plug with this little gem.

Steve Neuman: “Get in the ring, motherfucker!”

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Andrew: “And it was the schlockiest schlock you could ever possibly schlock.”

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Andrew: “And then the booze wore off.”

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Andrew: “And whether you’re by yourself or with your Genevieve”

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Andrew: “But, I also don’t like computers telling me what to do.”

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Andrew: “Hmm.”

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Andrew: “Ho!!!”

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Andrew: “I guess so”

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Andrew: “I’m an old man, Luke.”

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Andrew: Laughing and Saying “Oh, God.”

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Andrew: “Okay, good. You know what? We don’t want to get anything wrong on this show.”

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Andrew: “Show me how to movie!”

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Andrew: “Sorry, by the way, if I’m making weird mouth noises.”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I was on the Nicki train pretty early on.”

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Andrew: “You got lucky, Luke.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I came up with a really weird analogy, Luke. Do you like really weird analogies? They’re my favorite kind. I thought they might.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m Columbo. (Yeah) Yes. You’re the Columbo of this show.”

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Andrew and Luke: Series of Tom Petty related puns

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Andrew and Luke: “The need to pee. Ah. It’s the need, the need to pee.”

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Luke: “After six, huh huh, Katie bar the door. It’s just all friggin’ Milk Duds and popcorn, bro!”

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Luke: “Andrew, I can’t take it!!!”

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Luke: “Are you ready for shit to get real?”

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Luke: “He’s really the Columbo of podcarting. His name is Andrew ‘Fireball’ Walsh.”

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Luke: “I enjoyed the heck out of this film.”

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Luke: “It may have been, it may have been the alcohol, but I think it was mostly just my, my good taste in the world.”

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Luke: “Life is a stage, and I’m always on it.”

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Luke: “Oh boy, these people are in for a comedy treat.”

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Luke: “Pretending that I know how to movies”

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Luke: Singing a portion of Tom Petty’s “Zombie Zoo”

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Luke: “That’s bull-commander!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Are you ready for shit to get real on a Wednesday? I guess so… I think. I never even went to the movies.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, then Andrew, you chose to roll the dice with what we have now titled on this show, the Bladder of Damocles. The Bladder of Damocles.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Cuz the thing about the VB6 diet, Andrew, you may not understand is (Oh my God!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “God, I can’t believe I’m even gonna say this. What are you gonna say, is it gonna make me embarrassed? Yeah, probably, for me. For the way that my brain works.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I VB’d hard (Okay) for this cheat night.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I know I’ve been to a theater like this, so I don’t know why I’m so in the dark; but, umm, maybe because they turn the lights off before the movie. Oh-ho-ho-ho, God!!! Not bad. Not great.”

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Luke and Andrew: Life is a Stage

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Luke and Andrew: Luke decided to say “bleep” instead of “fuck” for some reason

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Luke and Andrew: Moments Me Senpai

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Luke and Andrew: “You lick the ticket, you shave the beard? Oh, God.”

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Clips From TBTL #2026

Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a voicemail message for the guys regarding the upcoming Seattle Seahawks vs Minnesota Vikings game and the guys played it on the show.

Steve Neuman: Voicemail from the Stu-bot

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Andrew: “Hey, Billy! Hi, Billy! How’s it going, Billy! You lied to us Billy! That’s it. No power out.”

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Andrew: “Let’s turn this more about me.”

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Andrew: “Luke, I have a confession to make”

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Andrew: “My request would be, don’t eat into the microphone; because, the idea of somebody eating cheese in my ears grosses me out.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, I sound like a God damned college sophomore.”

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Andrew: “People love it when I talk about weather.”

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Andrew: “Spinning, spinning, spinning for freedom.”

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Andrew: “The media, and myself included, as a media consumer and whatever this is.”

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Andrew: “They treat him like the Ewoks treated C3-PO.”

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Andrew: “This is science, bro.”

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Andrew: “This isn’t your first…self esteem rodeo.”

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Andrew: “Well, maybe it’s not interesting.”

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Andrew: “Well!”

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Andrew: Whispering “Perfect”

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Andrew: “You know what? The podcast gods really have it in for me today.”

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Andrew: “You say, ‘I guess I’ll get this one!'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Because, I know a year ago, I would have been outside dancing in the rain. No, no I wouldn’t. That’s an exagger… that’s an exaggeration! But I would have been really… That, I would like to see. You’d just Gene, Gene Kelly the shit out of it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did you go back and listen? No, God no!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That was the worst radio experiment that I’ve ever done; and, Luke, I’ve done some crazy stuff. Does Genevieve know that you’re peeing in the office again?”

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Luke: “Because I also ate some fake cheese today, and it was so good!!!”

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Luke: “Choking on a sunflower seed. [Clears throat] Okay, got that under control.”

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Luke: “Does Genevieve know that you’re peeing in the office again?”

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Luke: “Even though that guy may need help, in the basement, if you know what I mean.”

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Luke: “It too early to do a CrossFit?”

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Luke: “It too early to get a baseball expert for our football team? It was just for you, my friend.”

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Luke: Listing the demographics of TBTL listeners

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Luke: “Newman!”

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Luke: “No way, Lindsey Buckingham!”

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Luke: “No way!!!”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics to Fleetwood Mac’s “Second Hand News”

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Luke: “That to is me is just an absolute travesty of a mockery of a travesty of two shams of a mockery.”

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Luke: “There are no podcasters in fox holes.”

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Luke: “This is how we have to finally start doing the show!”

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Luke: “This is science, bro!”

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Luke: “Ugh, you’re ruining this for all of us!”

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Luke: “We got Pod-dog here.”

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Luke: “Why I’ve been eating Follow Your Heart American-style dairy-free cheese; which is, surprisingly edible Walsh!”

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Luke: “You coo’!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I conceived of this plan last night, which when I do most of my good conceivin’ (Okay)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I hope you’re not mad, Andrew, I called you a conference call. No, no, not at all. I’ve been called worse. I’ve been called better, but I’ve been called worse.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m eating it right now. I just asked you not to! I’m testing it, Andrew! We’re doing a control.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is science, bro! That’s science. These are facts. Perfect.”

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Clips From TBTL #2013

Andrew: “Ahh, damn it! Like, I was just trying to, I was trying to be cool!”

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Andrew: “But, good Lord. I say so much stuff that doesn’t even have an ounce of truth”

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Andrew: “Do I have to beep that?”

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Andrew: “Don’t!”

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Andrew: “I am leaning on it, man. I am leaning on it so hard!”

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Andrew: “I gotta pull the nose up on this football train.”

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Andrew: “I need some help parsing that last line, ‘Fancy party attire is welcome.'”

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Andrew: “I’m always most comfortable if I can have my shirt untucked; because, when I tuck that thing in, that’s when I really look like, I don’t… like a, like a real sausage.”

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Andrew: “I’m not trying to be the turd in the punchbowl on this one”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry that I spoiled the last hour and a half of your life.”

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Andrew: “It is so janky that I love it so much!”

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Andrew: “It is the scariest thing I’ve seen. Well, certainly it is the scariest photo of any boss I’ve ever had.”

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Andrew: “Let me introduce you to your co-host for today. You know him as the Sultan of St. Cloud, the maven of Minnesota Public Radio, the Lorne Malvo to my Lester Nygaard. I’m talking about Mr. Stu, the Stu-Bot, Neuman.”

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Andrew: “Maybe it’s, uh, Too Beautiful To Luke today.”

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Andrew: “No, no, no, no, no, no!”

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Andrew: “Pfffff.”

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Andrew: “Pfffff. That is the most Andrew Walsh thing to order.”

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Andrew: “Smooth, Walsh, Smooth radio talent right there.”

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Andrew: Starship Warning Sound Remix of Andrew’s “Rrr-rrr” sound

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Andrew: “That’s basically where I am in my life right now.”

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Andrew: “What?!?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, but guys, it’s not that great, rrr-rrr.”

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Andrew: “Yesterdoodle”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Andrew was about to put up the Andrew Wall

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Discussion about whether Addams Family Values is better than the original

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Do I have to beep that? Sheißeflügen? I don’t even know what it means. I think it means ‘shit fuck’, but I don’t know for sure.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Hey, Stu. What time is it? Uhh, touchdown time? Ugh…”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “I’m listening to the words I’m saying and I just sound like the funnest guy in the world. Well, you don’t want to put up that Andrew wall.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Making jet and ray gun sounds

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Speaking in a Sean Penn overacting manner

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “What is Buffalo chicken dip? I’m glad you asked Andrew…”

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Steve Neuman: “Boy, that sounded really funny when I said it.”

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Steve Neuman: “Facebook will remind you, don’t worry.”

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Steve Neuman: “God, this is gonna go on forever!”

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Steve Neuman: “It was the fucking worse, man.”

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Steve Neuman: “The hell’s that?”

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Steve Neuman: “When it’s winter and there’s like ice murder at your door eight months a year, you tend to, you tend to get a little tipsy.”

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Steve Neuman: “Yeah, I loved it.”

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Steve Neuman: “You pooped a football, Doug! You did!”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: Andrew has a very advanced palate

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Okay, you can start Andrew. No, I’ll just wait. Just take your time, Stu. No, I got it, I’ve got them. No, Stu! I don’t mind waiting.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “The Luke Burbank Story. The Luke Burbank Story! One more Christmas, The Luke Burbank Story.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “You’ll like look at your wrist and, like, ‘What time is it? What time is it? Touchdown time.’ And… Boy, that sounded really funny when I said it.”

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