Andrew started off the show’s intro with a voicemail message from Steve, the Stu-bot, Neuman; in which, Steve would have hoped that Andrew would have studied it out when it comes to choosing Aaron Mason as a guest co-host.
Steve Neuman: Voicemail Message
Aaron Mason: “Hello, Andrew, and Heil Stu-bot!”
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Aaron Mason: “Hey, buddy!”
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Aaron Mason: “Holy Shanghai!”
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Aaron Mason: “Recipes are a springboard for interpretation. It gives you your baseline, something to work from, and then substitute and embellish as you see fit.”
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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “I’m so sad; and, like (Right) ba-ba-ba-ba!”
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Aaron Mason, Tom Wassell and Andrew: “Spree was like the rich man’s Sweet Tart. Yeah, absolutely! You’re right!”
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Andrew: “Amaze-balls”
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Andrew: “As the–those words came out of my mouth, I realized it’s twenty-sixteen. We’re gonna start a new weblog…”
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Andrew: “Do some people not get the stinky pee; or, do they just not have the ability to smell the stinky pee?”
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Andrew: “Goddamn it!”
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Andrew: “How embarrassing would it be if he, likes, gets back on shore, and is just bombarded by the hundreds of topless selfies that I’ve been sending him all week?”
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Andrew: “I don’t know how to host a… G-d talk show!”
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Andrew: “I dunno. Whatever”
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Andrew: “I’d say you’ve come to the right place, friendos”
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Andrew: “It was goddamn Jobian!”
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Andrew: “Oh, man”
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Andrew: “Oh, man!”
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Andrew: “Oh, oh! We need to turn you on.”
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Andrew: “Oh, shit! I did screw him over”
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Andrew: “Peop–people, people are gross”
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Andrew: “She’s been doing a lot of photos of things that happen inside our kitchen, like when I’m asleep, and then posting them out to the world”
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Andrew: “The good news is we never get into the weeds on anything on this show”
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Andrew: “Welcome to TBTL, this is the show that is most dolphinately Too Beautiful To Live”
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Andrew: “What was my endgame? God knows what my endgame was.”
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Andrew: “When we are all at our lowest low, we gotta remember this story or other stories from our own life”
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Andrew: “Which is almost as disturbing as that image I just put in your head. Sorry about that.”
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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I will say thought, I felt there’s an overriding… vibe? It was the illest. Oh, ho-ho-ho!”
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Andrew and Tom Wassell: Dropping the “S” bomb on air
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Andrew and Tom Wassell: “Luke’s not here today, so maybe, right now, they’re being like, (The Luke fans are out) ‘Hey, I, I, I, I paid for Luke, I didn’t pay for this!'”
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Andrew and Tom Wassell: “You just are looking at me, like… (I was) You are befuddled, my friend (No)”
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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Tom Wassell: Riffing on Weird Al’s “I Want A New Duck”
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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Tom Wassell: Singing to Weird Al’s “Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye of the Kaiser)”
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Andrew, Tom Wassell and Aaron Mason: Andrew and Aaron cracked up when Tom found out how long a TBTL show normally runs
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Tom Wassell: Singing a portion of an Eric Clapton song
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Tom Wassell and Andrew: “Lay down Sally… Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…! Get outta here, Tom Wassell! (See ya later)”
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???: Saying “You’re a loser!” as Don Pardo on “I Lost On Jeopardy!”
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