Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Alright, brother-man”

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Andrew: “But, I promise you, I’m not Madonna-ing it here”

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Andrew: “Do I say ‘nadir’ funny?”

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Andrew: “Do you believe I’m shy? Do you believe I can shy?”

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Andrew: “Everyone either became a hunk… a chunk… a drunk… a skunk… or a monk”

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Andrew: “Get off my property; because, you’re gonna break your skull”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. Am I sorry? Sort of. I think I’m gonna regret this”

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Andrew: “I hate… the sound of my mouse clicking”

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Andrew: “I’m definitely going the chunky, drunky route myself”

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Andrew: “It’s really sad to admit that”

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Andrew: Making mouth clicking sounds

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Andrew: Saying “And, good luck to all!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, yeah… Well… if I do that, Connie gets mad at me. And, I just don’t mean mad… I mean, Italian mad” as John Tesh

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Andrew: Saying “This little piggy went to the market” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “From a distance”

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Andrew: “TBTL baby”

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Andrew: “That’s not entirely untrue”

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Andrew: “That’s the Luke Burbank promise”

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Andrew: “This is not a body by rollerblade”

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Luke: “Easy, Marge”

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Luke: “Even as much as I am… always grinding for this show”

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Luke: “Gheather… Gheather [ph]“

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Luke: Saying “My wife” as Borat

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Luke: Saying “You know it, brother!” as Hulk Hogan or Macho Man

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Luke: Singing “God bless America, land that I love”

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Luke: Singing “I believe you can shy”

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Luke: Singing “Let’s go… Let’s have some fried fish”

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Luke: “Thank you, brain. I appreciate that”

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Luke: “What kinda… what kinda fricked up name is ‘Gheather’? [ph]“

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Luke: Whispering “Go Andrew”

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Luke: “You feel me!?”

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Luke: “You got your down days and you got your up days; and, I wanna just tell ya, I’m having an up day”

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Luke: “You’ve got to get that to-Gheather! [ph]“

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Luke and Andrew: “How is your word soup garbage anxiety, by the way? (Oh my God!)”

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Andrew: “And, I’m more of a big dog”

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Andrew: “But, I just tell my boop-boop”

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Andrew: “But, the grocery store thing is obviously… hitting me… hitting me where it hurts”

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Andrew: “Can you do me a solid?”

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Andrew: “Can’t even get taargüs here anymore. Everybody’s hoarded all the taargüs”

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Andrew: “Face mask porn”

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Andrew: “He’s just done a million things in his career that I don’t like. And, I think he’s a buffoon; and, I don’t think he should have his job”

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Andrew: “I can’t say that word; and, I knew… that I wouldn’t be able to say it. Yet, I went for it anyway”

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Andrew: “I don’t give a shit about Don Lemon… I actually actively dislike him”

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Andrew: “I got eczema on the back of my head. I can’t get a can of beans. Like, I don’t need to see you showing off your… I don’t even know what the musical term for that would be. I think, chords”

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Andrew: “I love this damn dog so much”

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Andrew: “I need more input devices!”

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Andrew: “I will… admit that this is just snarky… high school, growing up in the 90s, Gen X Andrew talking here”

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Andrew: “I’m not saying this to bust balls”

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Andrew: “I’ve been, you know… dipping into a lot of escapism”

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Andrew: “Let me, quickly, come back to, speaking of, of me… come back to my Molly story”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t need to see you showing off”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t need to see you showing off your… I don’t even know what the musical term for that would be. I think, chords”

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Andrew: “Now, this is some real psycho-babble bullshit here”

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Andrew: “Now, this is some real psycho-babble bullshit here; but, let me just throw it out there… And, then, everybody can laugh at me”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!! I can’t, I don’t know if I can continue this”

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Andrew: Saying “I can write a song for that… I can write a verse for that song, Don” as Donovan imitating George Harrison

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Andrew: Saying “I can’t pet you, Molly!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “You are taking away my stories” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “She’s the only one who kinda made me… laugh; cuz, I love her so much”

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Andrew: “Silver Sarahman”

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Andrew: “Son of a bitch. It’s Don Lemon”

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Andrew: “Sorry. I just really hate that guy”

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Andrew: “Terrible, mash ’em up culture”

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Andrew: “The Wayne and Garthification of the nation”

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Andrew: “There’s something wrong with my teeth”

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Andrew: “They’re blocking out my stories, Luke”

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Andrew: “You are taking away my stories. I watched fifteen minutes of Don Lemon for this shit!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Shit. (Yeah) Fine. M*A*S*H. I’ll watch M*A*S*H. It was about food poisoning, that episode”

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Andrew and Luke: “They’re not grocery store (Okay) related; but, one of them, if it makes you interested in the story more… does involve Molly”

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Luke: “And, I don’t know if it’s a person name Molly; or, if it’s… the… drug, I don’t care. I’m in”

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Luke: “Button Broadcast Center”

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Luke: “Everyone’s allowed to be silly, even Madonna”

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Luke: “I just did that in my brain”

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Luke: “Jesus Christ, man!”

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Luke: “Papa Don’t Reach”

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Luke: Saying “Papa Don’t Reach” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Singing “Imagine there’s no Windsors”

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Luke: “So, I think you can pet that Molly!”

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Luke: “That did a number on my brain”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “Imagine there’s no Windsors” and Andrew saying “Oh, no!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Target. Target… (Target! Target!)”

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Andrew: “Because, I realize I was swallowing it in yesterday’s show”

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Andrew: “But, we are getting… so much good stuff. You might even say too much good stuff. You might even say… Toomgis”

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Andrew: “Donovan has a lotta corny shit”

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Andrew: “He’s got a lotta corny shit”

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Andrew: “I almost did an imitation of Donovan, doing an imitation… of George Harrison”

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Andrew: “I don’t, I don’t know what I did… wrong”

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Andrew: “I have no idea what you’re talking about right now”

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Andrew: “I have no idea… what we’re about to hear”

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Andrew: “I think I used to bop to that song”

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Andrew: “I thought that Luke was just making things up again… He blames you… Now, you’re blaming Uncle Chuck!”

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Andrew: “I thought the Stu-bot… was spoofin’ me”

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Andrew: “I… ended up killing the rosemary plant. I don’t, I don’t know what I did… wrong”

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Andrew: “I’m infecting you with my stupidity”

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Andrew: “I’m kinda scoobie doobie”

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Andrew: “It is P-Popping”

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Andrew: “Luke, I love this song!”

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Andrew: Making a ricochet sound

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Andrew: “My word cloud of germs”

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Andrew: “Oh, I think I can cry publicly at this point”

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Andrew: Saying “I could write a verse for that song, Don” as George Harrison

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Andrew: Saying “Look, we’re on this big blue marble, aren’t we?” as Donovan

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Andrew: Singing “206… 414-8285”

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Andrew: “Thank God it’s Friday!”

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Andrew: “The bline [ph] broke up so terribly, I have no idea what you’re talking about right now… I am only just hearing little clips of your voice, kind of, floating through space; but, they aren’t forming words”

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Andrew: “This sounds very distorted to me”

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Andrew: “We’re living in a world worse than Idiocracy!”

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Andrew: “Well, I’m gonna say one of the stupidest things that humans always say”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew doing imitations of George Harrison and Donovan

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, I’m gonna say one of the stupidest things that humans always say; which is, (Okay) it seems fast and slow at the same time”

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Luke: “I wanna find out if my mom was the one who told me this; or, if I just… hundred percent imagined this”

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Luke: “I’m not sick; but, I’m not well. Flagpole Sitta”

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Luke: “If you keep using TBTL as a mechanism to promote your nine to twelve other shows you do, I am going to report you… Soon as… As soon as this… shelter-in-place order is over, I am going to report you to our supervisors”

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Luke: “Kung Fu Flu”

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Luke: Saying “Should I do the rest of the show in this accent? I don’t even know what it is” in a Scouse-like accent

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Luke: “Scoobie doobie”

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Luke: “Scoobie doobie” #2

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Luke: “Scoobie doobie, man”

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Luke: Singing “Here comes the sun, scoobie doobie”

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Luke: “That’s what he was talking about!”

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Luke: “The only was past this is through it. Let’s do it”

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Luke: “We just gotta keep pulling at this thread”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hi, Mama… Hi, Suzie”

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Luke and Andrew: Imitating George Harrison and Donovan

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Luke and Andrew: “No mountain to tall… And, good luck to all, Don”

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Andrew: “Catch my condition”

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Andrew: “Constant COVID updates”

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Andrew: “I call it the, ‘Jelly Paul Problem'”

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Andrew: “I often am blowing my nose; just, because, that’s the way God made me”

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Andrew: “I’m trying to be a good boy”

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Andrew: “So, I know that’s a little self-serving and long-winded; but, it really brought me joy”

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Andrew: “So… illicit”

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Andrew: “Somehow… I just have lost the ability to watch TV in that way. I hope it comes back”

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Andrew: “TBTL stands for… Two Bros To Love”

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Andrew: “Waawf”

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Andrew and Luke: “Beaux be arts and Mars plays darts, and liddle lamzy divey (Liddle lamzy divey… Kiddley divey too, will you?)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is that what the shirt (Yeah) looks like!?”

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Luke: “Former host… Luke Burbank”

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Luke: “God bless whoever drew a penis on this!”

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Luke: “I fought the law… and, I… think I won?”

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Luke: “I.e.: someone drew a penis on it”

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Luke: “I’m a well-known local phallus”

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Luke: “I’ve got a little bit of good news… folks”

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Luke: Saying “I think the overall consumption of alcohol in this country… will be way up” and playing the fart sound away from the microphone

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Luke: “Two bros… loving it up!”

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Luke and Andrew: Describing the photos that were taken when Luke was parked in a loading zone and a sign had a phallus drawn on it

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Andrew: “Every time you say the word ‘privilege’, we lose one listener and gain another”

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Andrew: “Hey, everybody. Welcome to Booty Patter… I’m Andrew. That’s Luke”

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Andrew: “Humans are… well… problematic at times”

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Andrew: “I am an Oath Keeper, by the way”

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Andrew: “I like to consider myself the white Idris Elba”

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Andrew: “I love my cat; but, I’m really glad he can’t talk”

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Andrew: “I mean, you got a Ned Flanders body under there, my friend”

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Andrew: “I think I bring… plenty of three year old energy”

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Andrew: “Now, I think that’s a jam. I love that song… Couple of problems… He didn’t start from the bottom”

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Andrew: “Oh, shoot! Somebody is in here!”

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Andrew: “Roger that. Over. Gonna bomb these guys”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this. I should give it all away” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Think about your words, Walsh”

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Luke: “Bamboo butt… butt buffer?”

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Luke: “Booty patters”

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Luke: “Could we do this, like, on a semi-regular basis? Cuz, this feels right!”

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Luke: “Drake traffics in fame… not clout”

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Luke: “Hoarding kindness”

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Luke: “I have… bidet privilege”

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Luke: “I haven’t… been phished… yet”

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Luke: “Oh my God. What a fucking relief”

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Luke: “Pew-pew. Land the plane”

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Luke: Saying “Can I pet that dog?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Can I play that clip?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Working on the weekend, like usual”

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Luke and Andrew: “Bunghole buffers (Ohh!)”

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