Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2564

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Andrew: “By the way, my phone is getting some juice now”

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Andrew: “I know you really talk to Chris; but, I’m vetoing it”

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Andrew: “I would like to point out, or just remind everybody, that the man whose seed was complimented by President Obama, as a sitting president… said he was more proud… of a scat impersonation that, it turned out, he did not do”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Lemme monkey with the equipment”

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Andrew: “Listen. And, I don’t wanna sound like an ingrate here”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! Mr. Burbank!”

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Andrew: “So, let’s keep it professional”

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Andrew: “Sorry, I’m a little scattered”

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Andrew: “TBTL: Good… But, Not Too Good”

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Andrew: “The iron fist of Steve Nelson”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I got a hot dog; but, it wasn’t that great”

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Andrew and Chris Hayes: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you see the bite marks, I started to… biting my own leg there, for a while… Hey, did I turn into, did I turn into a cartoon ham… at any point? You turned into a cartoon Landjäger”

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Andrew and Luke: “It was Julius Caesar. Ahhhhh!! Yes. One of my favorite salads”

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Andrew and Luke: “Lock the goddamn door! Yeah. There’s a lesson, Kevin!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What do you get… when you mix Tequila, Triple Sec and lime juice? A party!”

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Chris Hayes: “That was… unbelievably… upsetting and humiliating to me on, basically, nine different vectors”

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Chris Hayes: “Wah-wah-wah”

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Chris Hayes: “What is wrong with me?”

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David Burbank: “It me”

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David Burbank and Andrew: “Louie, Stewy? Okay, I like how you’re thinking… Phooey”

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Luke: “A-ha!”

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Luke: “Ahoy-hoy”

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Luke: “All I ask for from this family is that I can just eat a Landjäger in peace… and, that has to become… that has to become some kind of joke; like, I stunk the joint up the place with my Landjäger”

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Luke: “Boy, that’s a real dance on the razor’s edge”

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Luke: “Everything’s… smaller in Canada”

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Luke: “God! Your seed is strong, man”

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Luke: “I mean, not to polish our own apple”

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Luke: “I’m just saying: I forgive; but, I don’t forget”

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Luke: “I’ve gotta work on my labeling… I apologize”

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Luke: “Lord willin’… and the creeks don’t rise”

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Luke: “My Dad was the first, the first human to win the Breeder’s Cup”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah… Oh, that’s the good stuff”

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Luke: “Pigford Nixon”

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Luke: Saying “Aw, man. I am so excited right now” in a sing-song manner

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Luke: Saying “Was I supposed to be watching that?” in a Steve Urkel-like manner

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Luke: Singing “Happy landin’ on a chocolate bar”

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Luke: “So close; and, yet, so far away. It’s like being outside the Jack in the Box… I can almost smell… Chris’s deep-fried deliciousness”

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Luke: “That’s the way we were!? I am… really starting to understand why they cancelled the show”

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Luke: “We’re down a Camaro Kev”

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Luke: “We’re going over the river and through the woods to Granny-time’s house”

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Luke: “What’s kinda cool trap music are you youngs listening to?”

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Luke: “You mad, bro?”

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Luke: “You up?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do my eyes deceive me? Is it ten o’seven… AM… Pacific Time? Oh, you’re not asking me what time it is, are you? Oh, yeah. I’m surrounded by clocks. Sorry, I’m surrounded by clocks here. Now, you’re just trolling me. You mad, bro?”

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Luke and David Burbank: “Davy, when you were in your days of… Lago in the front, Starbucks in the back… Oh, boy”

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???: Singing “We’re off the rail”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2563

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Andrew: “Also, if you’re hearing this, I’m so sorry about so much… that you’ve heard”

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Andrew: “Do I complain about my job? Aw… damn! I, I, I just said, as everything fell on me”

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Andrew: “God, my parents still don’t know about this”

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Andrew: “I’m not the one casting stones here. I brought the, I brought the damn things”

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Andrew: “Listen, you don’t have to say that sentence with shame; but, you don’t ever say it with pride”

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Andrew: “Man… somebody cracked a… bag of jägers, didn’t they?”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m talking your language… son of Walter Burbank”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: “That’s at least three flarps worth of jägers, man!”

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Andrew: “The Luke Burbank Story”

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Andrew: “This smells worse than a Landjäger!!”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Show me your bus face. It looks like your face right…”

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Camaro Kev: “Ooh… a real Russian roulette of jägers there”

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Camaro Kev: “Shut up! You shut up! You shut up!”

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Luke: “By the way, we’re in the porta-potty district”

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Luke: “Cleveland, this is for you!”

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Luke: “Even by my standards of squishy… truth”

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Luke: “God bless it!”

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Luke: “I don’t, I, look, I’m, I’m sorry to go snowflake on it”

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Luke: “I got the time, if you’ve got the diapers”

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Luke: “I know that you’re not a, a doctor… so… not trying to just speculate; but, medically, what do you think what was going on… to make this happen for this person?”

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Luke: “I regret nothing… for the record”

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Luke: “Just hep cats doing their thing”

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Luke: “My mind explained”

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Luke: “Oh, I did make out at that one!”

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Luke: Saying “Don’t… get too high on your supply. Also, can you please deliver my Toppik? I need it… I need it before the big show. I gotta put my wig on… but, also, don’t get too high on your supply” in a very loopy manner

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Luke: Singing along to a sample used in Young MC’s “Principal’s Office”

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Luke: “Super dookie”

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Luke: “That is a man… who has seen a super dookie”

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Luke: “That’s so grubbin'”

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Luke: “You know, a gentleman doesn’t kiss and podcast”

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Luke, Andrew and Camaro Kev: “Porta-potties don’t show up… reeking of human excrement. But, what if they did? What would that factory look like? (Oh my God!) A factory of sadness… and, it all comes back to the Cleve!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “David from the Basement just said he has to pee”

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Phyllis Fletcher: Saying “Oh my God, it’s David Burbank!” in a high-pitched voice

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Phyllis Fletcher: “There… wasn’t anything illegal about it”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “You asked me earlier… if it was, if it smelled okay in here; and, it did… and then, it didn’t. The end”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2562

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Andrew: “3-D, 3-D, 3-B!”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much red in my life; and, I see red a lot”

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Andrew: “I dunno. Are you mad at me; or, are you from Seattle? I dunno”

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Andrew: “I’m not, I’m not a sporto; but, that’s not what I know about basketballs”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! What is with those?”

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Andrew: Saying “Well, hello there!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “You have my attention” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Throw your vape pens in the air!”

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Andrew: “You can’t tell if people are mad at you or they’re just Wallingford. Like, and, that is the goddamn truth, man!”

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Andrew and David Burbank: “Those are two different bands! Barely. Barely”

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Andrew and Luke: “His name is Uncle Luke. He’s running around the lake right now. I’ll, I’ll introduce you to him later. Hey, who’s looking for me?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where are you, Luke? Standing right behind the van, sharpening a knife”

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Camaro Kev: “God, boy… I am a loser”

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Camaro Kev: “Thanks for… chiming in… exhausted Luke”

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Luke: “And, I have a computer thingy”

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Luke: “Cuz, I’m surrounded by clocks”

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Luke: “Follow your, follow your tangents, bro. Wild tangents can’t be broken”

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Luke: “Haters gonna hate”

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Luke: “Hey, Andrew. For once, can this not turn into a pro-life conversation?”

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Luke: “Hey, everybody, it’s a little loud in here… Get your testicles out!”

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Luke: “I did go sneak behind a tree… and relieve myself; because, nothing is open here”

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Luke: “I know Warren G; and, you sir, are no Warren G”

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Luke: “I’ll dig through shit if it saves me seven hundred dollars!!”

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Luke: “My mom… God love her”

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Luke: “Not to brag”

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Luke: “Oh, this isn’t my house. It doesn’t smell like my house”

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Luke: “Really?”

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Luke: Saying “G’day, mate” in an Australian accent

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Luke: Saying “Was that bad?” as Steve Urkel

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Luke: Saying a string of “Whoa”s

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Luke: Singing “All my friends are dead” in a funny manner

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Luke: “That’s how Susie B rolls”

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Luke: “They call me, ‘Lucas with the lid on'”

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Luke: “Turns out, I have a pattern with this”

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Luke: “What… kind of a world is this?”

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Luke: “Worth it!”

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Luke: “Yeah!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I don’t mean to… I don’t wanna cut in; but… could you do me one kindness? Yeah, get you… a coat? Could you move the van… so, when David gets back, he thinks you’re gone?”

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Luke and Andrew: “That is the biggest… load of Seattle bullshit I’ve ever heard. Put on the brights!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait. So, it’s gonna feel like this… until we’re done at the Re-bar? Am I gonna stay this way? Is this real life? Is this real life?”

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Luke and Phyllis Fletcher: “P-Fletch… how’s the smell? It’s fine. It is not funky in here at all… Swear to God”

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Luke, Andrew and Camaro Kev: Drunk Town

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Um, excuse me. If you could turn this off, that would be great. Oh… God, entitled…”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “You tried to regulate, and you failed! That’s right… that’s right”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2561

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Andrew: “Alright, guys. Calm down. I’m a human being too”

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Andrew: “Because of that, I’m, like, laying down with my legs crossed; and, I just look like I’m just like… the coolest toad in the pond”

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Andrew: “Do you miss illegal marijuana, by the way?”

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Andrew: “I… Ah, God… I’m sorry, I’m… starting to already lose it”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s the hardiest of the hardies”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Everything’s better with the bell!”

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Andrew: “Well, I don’t wanna be the one to ruin good radio… even though… that is literally my job description these days”

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Andrew: “Why should the Devil have all the good energy drinks?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is that something your Mom would say? Yes. I’m starting to recognize it”

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Camaro Kev: Saying something gibberish

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Camaro Kev and Andrew: Singing “Pass the dutchie on the left-hand side”

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Camaro Kev and Luke: “Table full of Touchdowns (Yeah)”

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Camaro Kev, Andrew and David Burbank: Laughing

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David Burbank and Luke: “But, yeah. Six tacos, one or two Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers… a… fuck it, a large curly fry. Yeah? Oh, I see… it takes a Rockefeller to know one”

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David Burbank and Luke: “Don’t associate the Millennials with them. They, we… we do not accept… them as, as part of us. Not your President? No… Hashtag? They, they represent six and seven year olds”

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David Burbank and Luke: “Look at the ‘M’ on the Monster Taco (It’s the Hebrew letter… for diarrhea)”

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David Burbank and Luke: “Think Linh is already here, actually… That’s right. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Linh Pham!”

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David Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “Well, lucky you. That’s why (If you had) you’re the master broadcaster. Where has this (I don’t even…) David been!? In the basement?”

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Listener Linda: “Power out!”

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Luke: “Again, I’m in a bit of a… glass Sprint van… on that one”

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Luke: “And then, when we come back, we’re talk… Jack In The Box ordering; and, really, just late-night food… including, by the way, my shameful… shameful large pizza order… the other night with you, Camaro”

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Luke: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Linh Pham!”

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Luke: “But, I just don’t understand! The Millennials of America, with their Snapchat and their Power Gloves… they don’t know that their heroes are super balding!?”

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Luke: “Driver John and the Fried Gourd”

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Luke: “From an area near Dream Land… this is… Dream Land”

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Luke: “God! Haven’t we been… on the air already for… seven hours, or so? Yes, we have; and, we’re only a fraction of the way… there”

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Luke: “Hey, bro”

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Luke: “How often are you toweling that thing down?”

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Luke: “I can’t get this close to this oasis and not drink from it’s cool waters”

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Luke: “I had a wild thought, guys”

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Luke: “I know that’s a lotta B’s, dude”

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Luke: “I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah… What’s up with his hair!?'”

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Luke: “I’m just sniffing it. I’m just… getting the bouquet”

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Luke: “Lemme take everybody’s temperature on this”

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Luke: “Let me tell you this… Kevin… keeps the cleanest car. I know that’s a lotta K’s dude”

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Luke: “Listen, there’s no wrong way… to hurt your… arteries”

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Luke: “Listen… I’m losing my hair… I’ve wearing an… [sic] ding-dang laser baldness helmet. I got nothing, I got nothing to brag about here. I’m also a forty-one year old man… no one’s holding me up as a YouTube star”

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Luke: “Not sleep deprivation… not… ill-advised, early caffeine consumption, nothing can stop the TBTL… 10th Vanniversary”

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Luke: “Power out!”

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Luke: Singing “Everything under the Sun except… Amos and Andy, and lollipops”

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Luke: Singing “Gauze with gas [ph]“

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Luke: Singing “He said, ‘Baby, it’s 3 A.M., I must be hungry'”

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Luke: “We have a fan”

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Luke: “Yes, but… young one”

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Luke and Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Luke and Andrew: “What time is it? It’s about 4:20. Hey, what’s up, guys? (Man!)”

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Luke and Camaro Kev: “Oh, it’s got the, it’s got the hang-down… Oh, it does have a hang-down. Yeah”

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Luke, Andrew and Camaro Kev: “What!!? (What!? / Whoa!)”

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Luke, Camaro Kev and Andrew: “We were the only people in the dance club; which, was called, ‘Spinnakers,’ I believe. Spinnakers, yeah. And, so… That is not a good name for… That sounds like an elderly dance club!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2560: The Burbanks Edition

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Carey Burbank: “Is it too late for me to go back into the house?”

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Carey Burbank: Laughing and saying “Next”

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Carey Burbank: “That was my first yawn”

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Carey Burbank: “What happened?”

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David Burbank: “Oh, he flarps plenty”

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David Burbank: Singing “I feel good. Doo-doo-doo-doo”

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David Burbank and Luke: “You know, I was… I was the surprise child; as… (Yeah, you were…) Mom puts it”

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Luke: “Are you in the… the apology… district?”

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Luke: “Butt-splosions”

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Luke: “During our last American Pie break between episodes, Andrew, I ran into Burbank Springs… and drained the lizard, if you know what I mean”

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Luke: “Eww, God! I just looked at it and broke it”

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Luke: “Give that two flarps up”

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Luke: “Hand me the flarper”

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Luke: “Hello, there, actual bro!”

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Luke: “I have been misusing winky-face emoji”

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Luke: “I hope everybody sets their expectations… on… medium”

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Luke: “I’m surrounded by clocks!!”

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Luke: Singing “For the Fresh-Me-Ups!” to Alanis Morissette’s “Thank U”

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Luke: Singing “You thought you bought a thousand feet; but, you only bought six-hundred. Bomp, bomp, bomp”

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Luke: Singing along to Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant”

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Luke: “That’s a lot of S’s, dude”

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Luke: “Well, you’re, you know… you’re not a girl, not yet a woman”

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Luke: “What!!? That was not the reaction I was looking for”

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Luke: “What buzzing? Is it pretty? Does it sound pretty? Cuz, I can’t hear it”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you feel, though, like wearing that hat… is also a political statement? No… no, way. No. Are you being serious? Yeah. No! No”

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Luke and Andrew: “How’s everything? Like, how’s the body, how’s the mind, how’s the spirit? The mind’s never been… great… Actually, neither is the body. Oh, no!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It took us exactly one episode (I know) to break into the coffee!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Pass the absinthe. Yeah!”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “Really? Yeah. Aw, man!”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “You actually made a special label Fresh-Me-Ups. These are so sweet. Thanks, babe. This is going super well! I’m enjoying it… for what it’s worth”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and David Burbank: “Lemme talk to somebody who’s always got my back, and that’s my actual wife. (That’s my woife) We call her, ‘Carey from the Upstairs’. Hi, Sweetie. Hi, there. What is your impression of the van? I think it’s very nice… That’s how you answer that question (Bastard)”

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Luke, David Burbank and Andrew: “I think Dad’s a funny guy. You haven’t always thought that. Really!? Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty here. What’s happening!?”

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Luke, David Burbank and Andrew: Luke telling how his mom reacted when she found out she was pregnant with David

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2560: Andrew Walsh (Plus One) Edition

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Andrew: “And, the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets; which, is… the name of my book”

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Andrew: “Don’t talk down to us, buddy”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, that is not true!”

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Andrew: “He sleeps the sleep of a thousand Gandalfs”

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Andrew: “I am… breaking out in my first major pimple of the evening”

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Andrew: “I avoided tacos for dinner”

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Andrew: “I don’t watch TV; cuz, TV is no friend of mine”

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Andrew: “I feel very, very old, like, when I’m especially talking to… don’t look at me David, when I’m talking to, like, a young person”

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Andrew: “I got into this when I was kind of listening to a lot of hippy-dippy, 60s music”

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Andrew: “I hate this story so much!”

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Andrew: “I hope it’s okay for me to say this”

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Andrew: “I was a Guy guy”

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Andrew: “I’ll give that three flarps”

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Andrew: “I’m a very clean liar”

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Andrew: “Look! It looks just like Andrew, or like a screen cap from a commercial… And, it’s just because I’m a fat… balding guy with a beard”

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Andrew: “Maybe we should say it’s the Apple, Warby Parker, Tesla and TBTL of toothbrushes? No. It’s not the TBTL of toothbrushes… It’s much better than that”

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Andrew: “Moist. Sorry. I said that”

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Andrew: “Oh, man. You are a party animal!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh… I flarpin’ love it”

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Andrew: “Someone’s looking for a cut”

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Andrew: “What? I… I seriously said that?”

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Andrew: “What if you and I are, like, sine waves… that are… kind… well, that would mean we would cancel each other out. That’s no good”

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Andrew: “When am I gonna learn my lesson? Take one call, then turn it off!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I associate this hat mostly with Sean DeTore; which, is actually a problem for me, because… Is that a political statement? Yeah, right. I’m… I’m a DeToriate… I always vote straight ticket DeToriate”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is my computer turned on? I think so, we can hear it ringing, right? Yeah”

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Flarp Sound

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