Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “At least, I do it when I’m alone”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Doctor… Whydakiss”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “He’s the hostess with the ghostest”

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Andrew: “Hmm”

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Andrew: “I did that! I did that! Sorry”

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Andrew: “I do not know the property. I do not know the property”

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Andrew: “I’m always futzing with my vacuum”

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Andrew: “I’ve done all the rules!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “I’m always futzing with my vacuum”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “So, in a certain way, I feel like I’ve come a long way, baby”

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Andrew: “Spike the plane! Spike the plane!”

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Andrew: “They’re always barking shit at me”

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Andrew: “This movie sucks!!!”

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Andrew: “Well, they’re also farmers from Lynden who aren’t minding their own damn business”

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Andrew: “When you’re in the car with somebody else, and they’re going through a road rage thing; you’re like, ‘Oh my God, that’s so ugly.’ And, also… there are other people in the car. At least, I do it when I’m alone”

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Andrew: Whispering “We’re M83”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow! This doesn’t hold up! (Yup) Holy shit! Written by Donald Trump. Jesus!”

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Listener Danny wrote a song based on the “Oops the Dirty Monster” video, which is an animated version of Andrew’s story about his childhood pet cockatiel that was dubbed “Oops”, and sung it on the TBTL Voicemail Line.

Listener Danny: Singing a song he wrote about Oops the Dirty Monster

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Andrew: “But, something weird is going on… outside my house, Luke”

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Andrew: “By the way, I realized, on Monday, I didn’t leave the house at all. I don’t think I left the house on Sunday or Monday”

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Andrew: “Do not care for it”

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Andrew: “Doctor Howdakiss”

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Andrew: Drawn out “So, yeah”

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Andrew: “Gawker.Ninja.Pizza”

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Andrew: “I don’t even wanna know!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I was thinking of yesterday”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what’s going on, man. It’s a mystery”

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Andrew: “I was just feeling it. I was just feeling it yesterday”

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Andrew: “It’s not like we’re super, super, super moneybags”

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Andrew: Laughing and Saying “I made a mental note to not talk about this”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. It’s the most boring Banksy ever”

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Andrew: “Oh, God… damnit, yes!”

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Andrew: “Oh, good! I’m on the edge of my seat”

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Andrew: “Oh… here’s an example!”

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Andrew: “One car fits here… and, one car fits there”

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Andrew: Saying “Play with your Internet” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Shut it down! Why are you attacking me?”

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Andrew: “The reason I’m stumbling and bumbling is I, kind of… didn’t want to get into this; but, I also, it’s so hard for me to not talk about this”

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Andrew: “Where was my brain? Why did I think that was okay?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I just wanted to say one thing here… if I can make this even weirder, just make it a little bit weirder (Please)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Super Mr. Glib, right? Which is one of the lesser sodas… Mr. Glib (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke: “And, I’d, I’d like to take this to Boring Town, if I can”

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Luke: “Hi, everybody! Sorry, just working out a little… family matters here at Burbank Springs”

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Luke: “I’m a guy… I dunno if the listeners know this”

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Luke: “Just… gettin’… way too jiggy wit’ it”

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Luke: “Shut up, little man!”

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Luke: “We’re just building the haystack, bruh”

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Luke: “Welcome to the Internet”

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Luke: “What’s the upside of that argument? I do not know”

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Luke: “You are going to… freak your chili”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hogan! Hogan!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look at you remembering things… Maybe, I could totally be wrong (Mr. Memory Man)”

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Andrew: “American Public Media. God bless them… for employing me”

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Andrew: “And, you’re holding this giant, inflatable gavel!”

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Andrew: “And… and, you don’t have access to that, Luke Burbank; because; we try to keep you at arm’s length”

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Andrew: “Anyway, I’m glad that I could make this about me”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Me too”

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Andrew: “I say this with love”

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Andrew: “I’m actually trying to think now if I’m a hypocrite”

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Andrew: “I’m uncomfortable”

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Andrew: “It is just systems on systems on systems over there”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Maybe I have to put the periods–Oh, you have to put the periods in there! Okay”

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Andrew: “Not all heroes have Itasca”

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Andrew: “You know me… I’m such a grumpster”

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Andrew and Luke: “I gotta not read my company e-mail… (What!?) during the intro of the show”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a doctor’s appointment coming up; and, they just want to remind me of it. Is it in a sanctuary city?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, Luke, are you ready for this? Ya. I need to make sure you’re ready for this”

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Andrew and Luke: Reacting to a fear-mongering political robocall Luke received while taping the show

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: Getting a little too Scientological while thanking the Donors of the Day

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Luke: “Grandpa B doesn’t know how to do this anymore”

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Luke: “He was… kind of… Johnny-not-on-the-spot”

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Luke: “Is this annoying?”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Saying “And, we’ve got our show title that nobody will get, but I will love” in a staccato manner

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Luke: Saying “Croissant” in an overly-done French Accent

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Luke: Saying “My Jenny” as Forrest Gump

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Luke: Saying “Restaurant” in an overly-done French Accent

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Luke: “Show bro to co-bro”

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Luke: “So… Doctor Hammer-Judge”

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Luke: “That’s where I’m playing my Doog music from!”

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Luke: “The co-bro who po the show”

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Luke: “You ready, Rudy? Dang it! You know, you put the buffalo… chicken-flavored deli meat back in the refrigerator… be surprised at how quick your Pod-dog abandons you!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I said, ‘Waltham’ right too, right? It’s pronounced, ‘Worcester’. Thank you for setting me up for that joke”

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Luke and Andrew: “You down with ICC? You down with ICC?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what that was, Andrew? Huh. That was, that was filtering! (That was filtering) Wow! That’s a first (That was discretion)”

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Andrew: “And, I promise you, I’m not butthurt about this”

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Andrew: “And, listen, nobody likes seeing roadkill… well, I guess some people do… Dahmer!”

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Andrew: “But, wow! Am I glad Genevieve doesn’t ask me to do this. Well, she probably would; if, she knew I wasn’t such a pain in the ass”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “Did I say wife? I meant sister”

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Andrew: “Everybody look at me and my crazy retro pants I’m walking in here”

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Andrew: “Hey… I was acquitted!”

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Andrew: “How ya doing!?”

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Andrew: “Hunh… that surprises me”

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Andrew: “I cracked myself up with that one”

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Andrew: “I don’t care what you do”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why you gotta bring robots into this; but, whatever”

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Andrew: “Is there a word for somebody who is a vegetarian when they’re sober?”

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Andrew: Saying the TBTL voicemail line number while simulating cutting in and out

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Andrew: “Thank you for such a kind, kind introduction, Luke”

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Andrew: “That sounds like my… worst… nightmare. That combines so many things that makes me, that make me uncomfortable. It is… it is upsetting to even hear about”

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Andrew: “Well, whatever”

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Andrew: “Well, who are we?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I don’t know. When I say you should, I don’t mean that in a finger-waggy way”

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Andrew: “You’re Burbank and Walsh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, I still this have this [sic] vague (No) feeling that what I said was shitty”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know who got me to like purple, Luke? Hmm. The Joker”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “God help me”

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Luke: “Harness the power of my dislike for prosciutto”

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Luke: “Here’s the thing with purple”

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Luke: “I am… the biggest hypocrite of all time”

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Luke: “I was the one who said it”

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Luke: “I’m in a kind of a… I’m in a little bit of a… a confused state right now”

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Luke: “I’ve been called worse!!!”

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Luke: “Look out, hot dog! There’s a new food product that we like to talk about endlessly.”

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Luke: “Peace and love”

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Luke: Saying “Ha-ha-ha… Because, ha-ha… Oh hi, Donny” as Tommy Wiseau

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Luke: “That’s… insane!”

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Luke: “This is so bad, by the way”

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Luke: “You ready, Rudy? Wait! She’s down the hall… Well, she’ll make it in here at some point”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Yeah, now I need to take that break. Alright… quick break. When we come back, I’ll wrap up this… fascinating, fascinating ham story. Look out, hot dog! There’s a new food product that we like to talk about endlessly.” and Andrew laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Making a callback, and a jab, at my request to play “In The Year 2525” on last week’s show

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ve got a No Point Conversion coming up… in just a moment… all of you, other than Linh Pham… Noted enemy of the TBTL No Point Conversion (Just lighten up, Linh!) God! That’s a good show title (‘Lighten up, Linh’)”

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Andrew: “And, apparently… he knows about TBTL!”

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Andrew: “And, I look like I am in a some sort of… cosplay for blue-collar America”

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Andrew: “Apologies for making… farty noises with my lips into the microphone there”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m pretty schlubby when I leave the house anyway”

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Andrew: “Get me inside my public radio bubble… stat!”

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Andrew: “Hand-clappy, but not boot-stompy”

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Andrew: “Here’s a story that won’t pay off”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. Is it too early, I’m not gonna say, ‘for a fish sandwich'”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if this is super interesting; but, I just wanted to tell you. So, I figured I’d might as well tell you on mic; because, it’s interesting to me, dammit”

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Andrew: “I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Or… whatever”

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Andrew: Quiet “Ding!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Yeah, that’s hand-clappy and boot-stompy”

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Andrew: “Yeah!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, I won’t read the whole thing. Please, don’t. I’ll be mortified”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can I ask you a question? Yes. Why don’t you just write it on the back of your hands, like I do”

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Andrew and Luke: “Dude, there’s a Trans Am that’s cyberbullying me right now. To within an inch of your life! You know those Trans Ams grew up to be cyberbullies. Of course!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Everybody’s got some sort of… dumbass web-azine, like… You know we’re a borderline dumbass web-azine. I know, but we don’t prank people!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have an update… do you want me to hold it? Hold the update”

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Andrew and Luke: “You could’ve borrowed the human blanket… you’re in town… You know how we have the cat blanket and the human blanket? Oh, God! I thought your new nickname for yourself was ‘The Human Blanket'”

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Listeners: Listeners leaving voicemail messages

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Luke: “And… I know this is, like, the height of laziness”

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Luke: “Any vaguely white blob”

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Luke: “Happy to report: I didn’t cry”

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Luke: “I gotta dance with what brung me… and, and, rampant insecurity is what brung me”

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Luke: “I think you’re meowing up the wrong cat condo”

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Luke: “My chin is like an isosceles triangle”

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Luke: “My tootsies were freezin’. My nose was freezin’; and, also, my hands was freezin'”

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Luke: “One bro… bro-ing it up”

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Luke: Singing the McDonald’s jingle and saying “You’re likin’ it”

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Luke: “The greatest hits… from the 20s, 30s… 40s, 50s, and 70s… and Genesis!”

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Luke: “This is gonna be one of those shows that’s either going to be magical or tragical… as far as my contribution goes”

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Luke: “We are going to record… just a… a bushelful… of TBTL… holiday spesh… An entire week of holiday spesh”

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Luke: “Well, I’m doing two things that are kinda cheaty”

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Luke and Andrew: “My theory is that Jerky Boys sold one cassette tape… And, everybody taped it? And then, everybody else in America was working off of a dub of a dub of a dub of a dub”

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Luke and Andrew: “What would Andrew Walsh’s… finishing move; would it be called, ‘The Apology’? Yes, it would! I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”

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