Category: Audio Clips

Clips from the No Point Conversion portion of the show will be posted at a later date.

Andrew: “Aren’t you an on-air personality on the network that Charlie Rose is on… you big baby?”

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Andrew: “Happy Trucktober!”

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Andrew: “Holy crap!”

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Andrew: “I didn’t cry once today… I cried multiple times today. That’s not true!”

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Andrew: “I’m all confused”

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Andrew: “Let’s… run this by the Burbank-o-Meter”

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Andrew: “Never! Nurver!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that was episode eight. We’re out. We done.”

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Andrew: “TBTL: The podcast… where we ruin things for you”

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Andrew: “Wait, you grabbed the same thing I grabbed!?”

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Andrew: “Who is right?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I didn’t do a podcast… is what I did. I just (That was it?) refrained, I refrained from talking into a microphone for two whole days”

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Luke: “Aren’t I great?”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “It’s the gift that keeps on not giving”

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Luke: Laughing to something Andre was saying

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Luke: “Now, the evil’s inside them”

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Luke: “Oh, and by the way, you know… I didn’t have to pick up that stuff at the store! But, I… I knew that you were really having a busy day; and, so…! Aren’t I great?”

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Luke: Saying “G’day, mate” in an Australian accent

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Luke: Saying “You call that a chocolate shop?” in an Australian accent

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Luke: “That’s what I’m saying!!”

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Luke: “This is… dumb”

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Luke: “You’re… getting a five apple room… for three-and-a-half apples”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know where you are… but, I have a specific set of skills. I will find you and I will tell you the name of the band Riley is in. Now, do it in an Australian accent and I’ll be happy.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “You call that a donation?” in an Australian accent and Andrew responding with “Don’t. Don’t.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What, what!? (What!?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You can’t get the inside of a straw clean! Gross! (No, you cannot)”

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Tongue Clicking

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Andrew: “And then, it’s all over. The dream is over.”

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Andrew: “And to you, I say, ‘Achtung!'”

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Andrew: “Dance card’s a little full this weekend, because… everybody’s gotta get a piece of the Andy”

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Andrew: Drawn out “What?”

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Andrew: “Everybody’s got a goddamn podcast”

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Andrew: Frustrated Andrew is Frustrated

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Andrew: “Honestly, look at the last two months of your life”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be your… dancing, knife-fight monkey”

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Andrew: “I mean, the video is ridiculous. I’m gonna close my eyes”

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Andrew: “I really put you on the spot. I can, I can bleep this all out. I can’t cut it out… but, I can just bleep it all out”

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Andrew: “I secretly Shazam’d it”

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Andrew: “I was sliding down rainbows into my book”

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Andrew: “I’m paying attention mostly, too”

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Andrew: “If that came on in the car… I would turn it up… and roll up my windows so nobody heard me”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “No. No. No.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! Keep it coming, folks. Keep it coming.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, you’re feeling a little gurgly, though”

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Andrew: “The Reading and The Rainbow?”

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Andrew: “We got a hammy down!”

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Andrew: “What if somebody drops the ham? We got a hammy down!”

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Andrew: “Why am I doing that!? You’re promoting your show; and, I’m just pooping on it?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where’s Burbank? I dunno… he’s probably watching a movie in some unexpected location. You know him. Classic Burbank.”

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Luke: “Boy, oh boy”

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Luke: “Bruh… I’ve been divorced. You’re gonna spend four thousand over that bed pan”

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Luke: “For sharks”

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Luke: “Looking… at one side, looking at the other side… looking at the other side, looking at the other side”

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Luke: “No, no, no, no, no, no”

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Luke: “Oui, oui!”

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Luke: “Our lawnmower was a hammy down”

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Luke: “Ripped from the headlines of my actual life”

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Luke: Singing along to “Rock On”

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Luke: “Thanks a lot, Bourdain!”

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Luke: “That’s the most… coherent part of the story”

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Luke: “The Geordie and The LaForge”

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Luke: “Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber”

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Luke: “While I was drunk as balls… here”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, we… are so… incredibly, incredibly… appreciative. So appreciative, Andrew… That you don’t have the list in front of you. That’s exactly right.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew inadvertently chuckled when Luke said Top Story was related to his Twitter world

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Luke and Andrew: “I am… I’m, I’ve, I’m going, I’m going hard on my Andy times (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know why on Earth I’m launching into this story; (Here we go) because, it doesn’t go anywhere, Andrew… (Oh, good! Then, I know why)”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait, brethren, that’s… is that… that’s not gender-specific, right? I don’t know. It sounds like, if anything, you’d be trying to get rid of the ‘brethr’ and not the ‘en'”

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Luke: “And a Happy Trucktober to you!”

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Luke: “And, we got there! We finally got there. Good stuff.”

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Luke: “By the way, this is… rich coming from me”

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Luke: Flat “What?”

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Luke: “How… how did we manage to book the gay dog!? I mean, that is a get!”

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Luke: “I think ‘X’ being in there looks a little naughty to me”

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Luke: “I’m just name-dropping here… Tom Cruise told me once, ‘Never name drop'”

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Luke: “I’m the only one allowed to spoil Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! on a regular basis. That’s my job!”

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Luke: “It is… compulsive grooming gone amoke?”

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Luke: “More rock, less talk”

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Luke: “Peace and love. Peace and love.”

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Luke: “Proto-Alanis Morissette”

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Luke: “Same bat time, same bat channel”

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Luke: Singing “It’s the most truckerful time of the year”

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Luke: Singing “You’re a toe-tapper, hair-twirler, eye-blinker, head-nodder, nail-biter, knuckle-cracker, skin-picker, lip-licker, shoulder-shrugger, chin-stroker”

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Luke: “Sort of Schrödinger’s Browns”

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Luke: “That’s a carbon footprint I can get into”

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Luke: “This is the show of a thousand name drops, okay?”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “What about… what about… a color shout? Red, red, red, red! White, white, white, white, white, white, white”

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Luke: “Ya best not be putting your audio recorder where it don’t belong”

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Luke: “Yeah, with… with great, with great bong… comes great bong-sponsibility”

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Luke and Andrew: “Doggam… doggam fathermucker! Bun of sitch! Mother father Chinese dentist!”

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Luke and Andrew: “God, what am I admitting to? Yeah, what are you admitting to?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m Luke Burbank for WXXI, the region’s news leader. We’re gonna get pulled!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke joking about trying to steal a listener’s kids

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Luke and Andrew: Possible Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! show topic and spoilers

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Andrew: “Ah… I am, like… eighty… four… percent sure that this was, like, a small little spoof in The Simpsons”

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Andrew: “And, I think bad stuff was happening”

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Andrew: “Back to you, Luke”

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Andrew: “Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeep!”

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Andrew: “Hey there, Care Bear! How ya doing?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know who’s in charge of this over there!!”

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Andrew: “It just comes out of me”

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Andrew: “It’s a little patch of something, and it ain’t good!”

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Andrew: “It’s like a little patch of something”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Oh, this is so gross. I can’t believe I’m saying this!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Walsh, we gotta wrap this up, dude!”

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Andrew: “Piped directly into your earballs via headphones”

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Andrew: Playing the noise at the beginning of Bossa Nova Hold Music in a loop

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Andrew: “Sagal can’t tweet these things. Sagal needs to keep his… powder dry”

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Andrew: Saying “I hate to do this” in a tentative, unsure manner

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Andrew: Saying “The Spookiest Hour!” in a spooky manner

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Andrew: Saying “This is for Amy. This is for Erica. This is for Leah and Andy too.” in the rhythm of the Bossa Nova Hold Music noise loop

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Andrew: Saying “Your travel plans” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing “Let’s just burn all our bridges”

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Andrew: “So far, so good”

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Andrew: “That’s bullshit. Throw him in the clink”

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Andrew: “Things are gonna start happening to us now!”

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Andrew: “This is the only time in our recording history I wished I had a bong sound effect. No, you know what? I’m glad I don’t have a… bong sound effect. I would over use it”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh”

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Andrew: “We’re gonna get pulled!!!”

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Andrew: “What are they doing? Why are they doing it? And, how can you stop them?”

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Andrew: “What are you building up to?”

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Andrew: “What do we do? Do we give the donors their money back?”

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Andrew: “What is this, a Ford Focus!?”

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Andrew: “While we’re biting hands that feed us here”

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Andrew: “Whomp, whomp”

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Andrew: “Why would I jump through this hoop?”

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Andrew: “You know how dumb I am?”

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Andrew: “You know what? He’s the Browns of microphone handling. How about that?”

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Andrew: “You tried to crack my knuckles once… like a psycho”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew doesn’t want to fix the extra noise in the Bossa Nova Hold Music song, he wants to rub Luke’s nose in it

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Andrew and Luke: “So sassy! So sassy! (Yeah!) Lotta sass (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “Are you disrespecting my Batman investigation?”

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Andrew: “But, I like truckin spice. And, if I’m gonna get my coffee truckin spice flavored… I don’t wanna be judged for that. This is my month to do that.”

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Andrew: “Can you believe it’s already the fourth… day of Trucktober?”

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Andrew: “Fair enough”

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Andrew: “I know. I just, I p-punted, man. You could hear… you heard my brain break in that”

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Andrew: “It was like an iPhone”

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Andrew: “Just kidding!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “No, it’s not!”

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Andrew: “Right!”

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Andrew: “You never ghost on the Stu-bot”

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Andrew: “You never ghost on the Stu-bot. It’s Minnesota, you say good-bye”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew has morning voice coming right back at him

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Andrew and Luke: Saying a long string of “No”s also with Andrew saying “This didn’t happen!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Shame! Shame! Shame!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What we all learned… from the trailer for the movie ‘Ice Age,’ starring (…Ice Age 2) Ray Ramono, is to shove a bunch of nuts into a cracked iPhone”

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Luke: “Alright, lay it on me, bruh!”

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Luke: “Hey, Björk… is there any logic to human behavior?”

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Luke: “I know that much, Andrew”

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Luke: “It was exactly the reaction you should have if you throw a ninety-five mile an hour fastball and it hits your friend right in the junk pad”

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Luke: “Pretty…. pretty… pretty… pretty bad”

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Luke: Saying “Show we, um” in a high-pitched voice

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Luke: “Show we, um”

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Luke: Singing “It’s working! It’s working”

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Luke: “Welcome… to a special early edition… of a… Wednesday episode of TBTL: the show that might just be, Too Beautiful To Live”

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Luke: “Yes, this is the TBTL: Morning Zoo… today”

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Luke and Andrew: “Boy, by the way, I’ll see your boring dream and raise it. Wait, hold on, who said mine was boring?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Cuz, I’m a bad friend. You are. Well… you know, it humanizes you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Definitely one of your favorite audio drops to play. It is now!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dybbuk, schmybbuk… I said more ham. You sat next to the class clown.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Nuts to you? Nobody said that. Nuts on Clark? Nobody said that.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, I don’t know, David Byrne, is this your beautiful life? Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’cha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your boot? You’re still trying to make this tweet work, aren’t you?”

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Andrew: “As I think we’ve described TBTL before… it is funny-adjacent”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit!! Was that fake?”

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Andrew: “Bingo!”

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Andrew: “Blow it out your Bloril [ph]“

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Andrew: “Damn it!”

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Andrew: “Guess what I’m wearing right now?”

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Andrew: “Guess what I’m wearing right now? I’m wearing my Ron Upshaw… ‘Give Bees a Chance’ t-shirt. Is something in the air?”

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Andrew: “Hey, Happy Truckober!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what the other kids got to do. Probably, learn”

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Andrew: “I gotta stop… ripping bongs before the show!”

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Andrew: “I think a David just lost his wings”

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Andrew: “I’m embarrassed!”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna call her out. I would love to throw her under the bus”

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Andrew: “In this day and age, I even hesitate to ask… what with the War on Trucktober”

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Andrew: “Is something in the air?”

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Andrew: “Like, what would disgust Monk more than this?”

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Andrew: “No. I don’t think I’m there yet(?)”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “It’s not funny”

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Andrew: “So, I guess that’s not actually a ship. Oh, well. Sorry. I think a David just lost his wings.”

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Andrew: “That guy’s a damn delight, man!”

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Andrew: “That’s so not funny, man! It’s just not funny”

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Andrew: “What are you, forty-one?”

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Andrew: “Why is everybody trying to kill the Traveling Wilburys!?”

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Andrew: “Wow!!”

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Andrew: “Your precious”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew questioning if he’s saying “poignant” incorrectly

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Andrew and Luke: “Just say yes. Give bees a cha–Yes. Something is in the air. Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke is the Dana Carvey of podcasting

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: Doing an imitation of an Enigma song

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Luke: Doing an imitation of an Enigma song #2

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Luke: “Don’t let me do the Full Monty here”

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Luke: “Get a new fantasy!”

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Luke: “He’s always just such a downer, Bloril [ph]“

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Luke: “I’m a forty-one year old man… who’s medium at skateboarding; and, I’m trying to figure out… how I can attach my skateboard to my backpack. Hello fellow, hello fellow yous, [sic] fellow youths!”

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Luke: “I’ve just undone everything good that David did…”

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Luke: “It’s the thing from Seinfeld!”

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Luke: “No! Are you shitting me?”

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Luke: “Not sniffing his own farts too much”

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Luke: Saying “Ain’t… not wouldn’t be prudent… at this juncture” as Dana Carvey doing a George Bush impression

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Luke: Saying “Could it be Satan?” as The Church Lady

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Luke: Saying “That’s such a great fuck you to the label!” in a cracked, high-pitched voice

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Luke: Saying “Well, here’s a guy” as John Madden

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Luke: Singing the iconic portion of Suzanne Vega’s “Tom’s Diner”

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Luke: “This is for kids!”

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Luke: “Who… would want that on their backpack?”

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Luke: “Yeah, that’s comedy gold”

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Luke and Andrew: “And a Happy Truckober to you and yours. Thank you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, that’s who I was thinking of: Bingo Hand Job. Bingo!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Who am I even trying to be in this life? Enigma?”

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