Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Actually, no. I include LA. I don’t like the weather down there. Sorry. Sorry… God… or whoever made the weather down there.”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Coo coo ca choo”

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Andrew: “Don’t teach your kids to be TBTLers”

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Andrew: “Euuuhh! I gotta get outta here before something bad happens.”

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Andrew: “I, I almost said, ‘my colleagues’. I picture myself and my little peers”

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Andrew: “In my head, my legendary… seven-word review was, ‘You shoulda lef–left that shit airbrush on the side on a panel van’. That’s more than seven words.”

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Andrew: “Is Martha your daughter!?”

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Andrew: “It’s my honey don’t list”

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Andrew: “It’s the Fourth of damn July!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Lazy-eyed, psycho cat”

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Andrew: “Ohh! Really?”

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Andrew: “Somehow it’s not… gross”

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Andrew: “Sorry… God”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah” (In the clear)

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Andrew: “Wait!!!”

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Andrew: “What are we even doing here?”

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Andrew: “Which was some sort of Ringo Starr bullshit”

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Andrew: “Why am I doing this!?”

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Andrew: “You know, I’m not gonna die on that hill”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew brought up that Alvin and The Chipmunks covered The Beatles’ “Do You Know a Secret” but didn’t want Luke to play it

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Andrew and Luke: Building up towards “Trucks, trucks and more trucks”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, man. How ya doing? I’m great. I’m so good. Good! Anything in particular?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I know we’re trying to hurry up… but, I don’t care. No. I know we’re trying to hurry up, but… Oh, Davy. I’m gonna talk slow.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just, on its own, this is the most cloying… cutesy, (I agree!) makes your teeth hurt BS”

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Andrew and Luke: “KUGS! (KUG! KUG!) Eighty-nine three FM! KUG! KUG! KUG!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, ‘Free as the Bird’ should’ve been the number worst… The number worst (Really) song!”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Ring!” to “Ob-la-di, ob-la-da”

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Andrew and Luke: “This isn’t canon! This guy’s off the rails, Luke. It’s everything that was released in the UK. I dunno what to tell you. Don’t take up your issues with Dave Wyman. I will.”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re kind of a Lennon/McCartney of podcasting (I think so)”

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Luke: “Are you there Martha? It’s me, dad.”

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Luke: “Blanket statement. I get it.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Everybody forgive me for my forgetful ways”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna mess with that crazy cat”

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Luke: “I’m not a player, I just KUGS a lot. That’s just gonna have to be some comedy gold for you and me.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Stop looking for socks in the street, ya turkeys!”

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Luke: “The brain is such a weird thing; especially, my brain”

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Luke: “This is a pretty medium spoof”

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Luke: Trying to get Rudy’s attention with the squirrel lure

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Luke: Trying to recite lyrics from LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out”

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Luke: “Welcome to… Meteorological Talk on TBTL”

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Luke: “Yeah, what is up, dog, with the Pod-dog?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s… Penny Lane. No, it’s not. No, it’s not! Are you kidding me!? Yeah. No, this whole thing is… I’m editing this all out. This is ridiculous.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s the Burbank way. That’s the Burbank way.”

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Luke and Andrew: Walking With a Shark, These Sharks Were Made for Walking, and Mama Said Shark You Out

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Andrew: “Ahh, we’ll get this, my precious”

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Andrew: “And, you know me… I’m very sensitive about these things”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Go Mariners… and go eat a bagel!”

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Andrew: “He has so much ‘tude”

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Andrew: “I guess the ‘Cindy Crawfish Experience’…”

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Andrew: “I like this regulation; but, that probably is not surprising coming from ‘Big Government’ Andy over here.”

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Andrew: “It’s done!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Not my ciotka… not my monkeys”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s rap is borderline pornographic

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“Don’t be dull. Be dazzling!”

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Luke: “Basically, Rudy has been gentrified… out of her own neighborhood”

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Luke: Beatboxing

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Luke: “Beauty is in the Ear of the Beholder?”

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Luke: “God, that’s beautiful!”

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Luke: “It’s not the water!!!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Not my circus, not my monkeys, people”

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Luke: “Not to turn this into ‘99% Invisible’… or, our version, ‘99% Unlistenable'”

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Luke: Saying “George! Can you help me with my invention?” as George Foreman

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Luke: Saying “George!” as George Foreman

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Luke: Saying “That’s how bad it was! He ended up pitching.” in a high-pitched voice

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Luke: Singing the first few notes from “Also sprach Zarathustra”

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Luke: “This is George Foreman. People are always saying to me, ‘George! Did they find trilobal fibers in the trunk?'”

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Luke: “Thought for your thought”

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Luke: “Trucks, trucks and more trucks!!”

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Luke: “Uhh, that’s meta. I go in for anything meta.”

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Luke: Yelling “George!!!” as George Foreman

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Luke: “Yes, indeed”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew, with his beard, is like the “Bear” of the show

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Luke and Andrew: “Forgive me for this, but it was… it was a kamikaze mission. It was too beautiful to live, is what it was. It was, in fact, too beautiful to live.”

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Luke and Andrew: “No, too lengthy. Oh, wow–Oooooo! (Too long) Too loud and too specific.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, yeah. His teeth were so bad… he looked like a monkey eating shit through a hairbrush. Oh my God! Oh my God!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Teach me how to Doogie. Teach me how to Doogie.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, my name’s Luke Burbank, and I’m here to say… (No, no, no, no, no, nope…) I’m talking about road signs in a major way. I am beeping all of that out.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What is happening to us today? (I don’t know!) It’s only Tuesday. We’re supposed go off the rails on… Well, it’s actually Wednesday… Well, that’s part of the problem right there.”

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Andrew: “And, of course, that’s what they were saying!”

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Andrew: “B’what!?!”

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Andrew: “‘Doesn’t seem broken to me!!’, he said. I assume that’s what he sounded like.”

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Andrew: “I had this huge, honking layover in Detroit”

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Andrew: “I was a, a very large kid for most of my life; and then, and then, I started to lose a lot of weight. Probably, you know, some growth spurt shit going on”

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Andrew: “Is that the ride that broke you?”

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Andrew: Laying down some kick drum beats

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Andrew: Laying down some kick drum beats #2

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Andrew: “Oh, gate’s locked. What now?”

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Andrew: “That’s the not-so-dazzling deets”

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Andrew: Tongue Clicking Sound

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Andrew: “Turns out I still don’t know how to do that, and… loving it!”

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Andrew: “What did you say!?”

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Andrew: “What’cha got for us now!!?”

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Andrew: “You must be so happy to hear my voice today”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, man… I just tripped coming in my office here. No I didn’t… Oh, man!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I guess my dreams came true this weekend, is what I’m saying. Finally. (Finally) One of our dreams came true.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I say Klezmer. (…say Klezmer) I say, I say, I say Kelzmer.”

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Luke: “Brings us episode two-thousand four-hundred and… one!?? In a collector’s series?”

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Luke: “Holy… shit-snacks”

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Luke: “Moi?”

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Luke: “My… my rusty, trusty, road-warrior bud”

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Luke: Saying “Hey, Daddy” in a Tommy Wiseau-like manner

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Luke: “This is filling the void that the alcohol usually fills!”

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Luke: “This is the cycle of this!”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew would not get into a hot-air balloon or a stratospheric balloon even if his job depended on it

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Luke and Andrew: Going to the Internet to see how “Klezmer” is pronounced

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ll allow it! But you better be…. (Okay!) How does that never get old?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m getting a little bit more context for the story. You’re not so impressed anymore. I’m kind of not, no offense.”

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Andrew: “Ah, I messed it up!!!”

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Andrew: “Ah, the best doggin’s! Yeah”

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Andrew: “Every night has been great!!”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe it!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what people think about this show; but, we’re not rich enough to eat our laying heggs [sic]. Ah, I messed it up!!! You’re supposed to be ‘rich enough to eat your laying hens’. Another words, you have eggs… I’m struggling today, guys.”

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Andrew: “I love the way you think”

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Andrew: “I… cannot believe I cut the ‘S’ off of that drop”

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Andrew: “I’m struggling today, guys”

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Andrew: “Oh, nice thinkin’!”

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Andrew: “This is hog killing weather, just move on”

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Andrew: “This joint is gonna get gamy!!”

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Andrew: “We’re dumb as a barrel of hair”

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Andrew: “Would we say that she is tough as a stewed skunk?”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, if anybody says that Katie… would squeeze a nickel until the buffalo screams… they’re a damn liar!! She is not cheap. Am I gonna have to confiscate your list of idioms?”

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Andrew and Luke: “See, they don’t use the word ‘Awesome’ in Texas, so… Do they say, ‘Y’awesome’?”

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Andrew and Luke: “That drop is hotter than a preacher’s knee. Ha-ha!!!”

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Luke: “Aw boy, I tell ya… it was hotter than a two dollar pistol out there”

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Luke: Clams are inscrutable and are like rocks with a booger in it

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Ha-ha!!!”

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Luke: “I cannot… work under these conditions”

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Luke: “I tell you what, boy. It was hotter than the hinges of hell”

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Luke: “Katie really has a way with words here. I should say, a way with turds.”

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Luke: Playing the “Isn’t that for technogee” and Andrew’s proto Marsupial Gurgle clips

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Luke: Singing “Going off the rails on a gravy train”

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Luke: Singing “This is a dad thing”

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Luke: Singing “With two toothbrushes” and “Chopped and Screwed” over the top of Spoon’s “You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “So, it all, it all comes back to Texas”

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Luke: “The other ones were bullshit, this is real.”

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Luke: “We’re also… good word people. We know all the kinds of word”

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Luke: “Well, you know, God never turns off an AC without suggesting you open a window”

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Luke: “What was wrong with us!?”

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Luke: “Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: There have been no intentional farts in the Fart Locker

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Luke and Andrew: “Uh, he’s lucky? Yes, you son of a bitch!! …You glorious bastard! Exactly. He’s lucky!”

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Andrew: “Couldn’t hear you through my beard, bro”

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Andrew: “Huh! I can’t do that, huh!? Then, I’m just gonna do this!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Not everything is about you, Amy!!”

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Andrew: “Okay. Sounds like somebody’s… gunning for an associated producer credit; but, whatever.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “TBTL: No Filters”

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Andrew: “This has gone too far!”

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Andrew: “You can use the damn bathroom, man”

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Andrew: “You’ll gain hundreds of confidence”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke Burbank… brought two electric goddamn toothbrushes! (Air and a spare!) You have to do it! And a laser baldness helmet, and a printer!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sorry… part of my brain that connects to my mouth just had a… slight malfunction. I think it’s cuz we’re in the desert and there’s not good connectivity. (Yeah, sure)”

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Luke: “Had to do some good naked networking in the shower”

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Luke: “He looked at a water bottle full of human urine today; but, it doesn’t mean that he thinks he’s better than everybody else”

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Luke: “Hello, traveler!”

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Luke: “I know!!”

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Luke: “I wanted you to see it, daddy”

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Luke: “Is anyone else seeing this train?!!”

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Luke: “Nada mucho. Just, uh… you know… snappin’ necks and cashing checks here”

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Luke: “None of things you said are words”

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Luke: Saying “This ain’t the Coachella Valley!” as Bugs Bunny

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Luke: “This goes out to all the coffee lovas”

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Luke: “We danced. We hugged. I think we might have even hugged, Andrew, in this RV park!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Boy, this is a stress dream for you. Ho, God! Send it back to hell!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it okay that I peed in this water bottle last night? Oh! Wait… you’re really trying to teach me something, aren’t you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Partially Used Soaps on Albuquerque Craigslist

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Luke and Andrew: “We played, yesterday, from, from Vegas here to Albuquerque… which, we shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque, (I know) now that I think of it. This is no La Jolla.”

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