Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And, I was very galled… I was… so galled!”

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Andrew: “And, then, I see that my KIXI radio app. Yeah, I got the app!”

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Andrew: “I can’t get my peanut butter”

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Andrew: “I meant to tell you! I meant to tell you!”

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Andrew: “I’m still so protective of Bananas; like, that is Professor Bananas the cat. Like, I just… Not bananas the fruit. I don’t care what happens to them. I don’t like bananas… I like, I’ll eat your banana bread though”

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Andrew: “I’ve completely given up democracy in this country”

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Andrew: “I’ve completely given up democracy in this country… with the exception of this KIXI radio poll”

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Andrew: “Is a peanut butter sandwich a hot dog!?”

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Andrew: “It depends on where you catch me, how you catch me, what the tone is”

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Andrew: “Like, I didn’t even think about it. My finger just went there”

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Andrew: “No… It’s bizarrely terrible”

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Andrew: Saying “You… you think this is a machine?” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “The host comes on… the radio, in a major market, and sounds like she’s buried under several layers of Zoom”

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Andrew: “This is really an amazing machine”

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Andrew: “Vieves and I have been… in e-mail communications with a dog”

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Andrew: “We are living in weird times, man”

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Andrew: “We go through a lot of peanut butter; cuz, we’re health freaks”

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Andrew: “We’re supposed to be outside blowing stuff up, I thought”

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Andrew: “What… is… this?”

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Andrew: “When I say, ‘social’… what does that mean to you?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I got the app!”

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Andrew: “Yo Gabapentin”

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Andrew: “You know, I’ve been, let’s say, dog curious”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re a Jif family… I came home with Skippy peanut butter (It’s GIF)”

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Luke: “Don’t mind if I do!”

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Luke: “Don’t think you’re getting out of it that easy, Linh… We’ll still have some asks”

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Luke: “I didn’t wanna get into it; but, I was… 5 percent curious”

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Luke: “I hope you liked it while it lasted, cat!”

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Luke: “I say, I say, I say, wassup, Walsh”

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Luke: “Ooh, I’m funny… I should have an afternoon show on KIXI”

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Luke: “Wow. Okay… Maybe this is real”

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Luke: “Yuck someone’s yum”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everything was coming up Burbs… Sometimes I call myself Burbs, Andrew… (So do I!)”

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Andrew: “Because, they’re all feasting on Fox News”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’ll talk to myself sometimes, right? And, I call myself, ‘The Burbs’. No”

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Andrew: “I can feel it through the line”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry about my words today”

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Andrew: “It is summertime… A summer, a summer… summertime… Time to… sit… back and… unwind, summertime?” [ed: This clip is from the Outdoorsy ad]

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Andrew: “It’s Bubbles the Cat. She’s feeling lonely”

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Andrew: “Now, I wanna know why! Why!”

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Andrew: “The Burbs don’t have to live in the burbs!”

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Andrew: “Why is Bank of America… going around throwing stones?”

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Andrew: “You’ve made a mess; and, now it’s time for a full wipe”

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Andrew: “You’ve made a mess; and, now it’s time for a full wipe… I’m sorry about my words today”

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Luke: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 by… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. What’s 6 times 6? 32?”

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Luke: “Bubbles! You’re getting vaxxed!”

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Luke: “Don’t bring software problems to a hardware fight”

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Luke: “I want all of it!”

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Luke: “I was losing my mind this morning”

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Luke: “I… love… Bed Bath and Beyond. Me love the patter!”

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Luke: “It would shunt me away from physical contact”

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Luke: “Let’s just go for it!”

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Luke: “More dump talk from Andrew Walsh”

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Luke: “Never do math on the radio”

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Luke: “No, it turns on. I just needed to see you”

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Luke: Saying “Please, milord… don’t bang the plates” in a British accent

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Luke: “She is trying to sabatage [sic] the system”

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Luke: “What I know, as a person who gets divorced frequently and relocates is…”

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Luke: “You would draw your boss on a surfboard… Her head would be enormous… The bikini was an HR violation”

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Right before the break, Andrew tried to do the “Hello and welcome to Top Story” drop from memory:

Andrew: “Welcome to Top Stories”

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After the break, both Andrew gave it another shot and Luke tried to do the drop from memory as well:

Andrew: “Welcome to Top Story”

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Luke: “Hello and welcome to Top Story”

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I created mashups of their attempts and the original drop:

Andrew: Hello and welcome to Top Stories (Andrew Mix 2022)

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Andrew: Hello and welcome to Top Story (Andrew Mix 2022)

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Luke- Hello and welcome to Top Story (Luke Mix 2022)

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Andrew: “And, I can go to that dump whenever I want to”

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Andrew: “And, yeah, maybe, I’m a little smelly at the end of the day. Maybe, I’m a little sweaty at the end of the day”

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Andrew: “Are you sure it doesn’t say, 5-3-1-8-0-0-8; and, if you turn it upside-down, it says, ‘boobies’?”

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Andrew: “Because, Seattle has its own stuff going on”

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Andrew: “Do you wanna hear about the dump?”

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Andrew: “Don’t praise the machine!”

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Andrew: “Hey, Lloyd! Take your finances down to the casino!”

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Andrew: “I have systems… It involves… sticky notes”

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Andrew: “If you really don’t wanna get to the USB story, I did go to the dump yesterday”

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Andrew: “It’s just so weird that… all these drops we play live in my head as earworms. But, the one that I hear… literally every weekday of my godforsaken life… I’m having trouble conjuring right now; and, I feel like my brain… I feel like I’ve lost something”

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Andrew: Making split-flap display sounds

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Andrew: “Mission 1: Don’t get hollered at today”

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Andrew: “Nobody called me their man that day”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit… Where’s my bag?”

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Andrew: “Oh… those clowns in Lynnwood. I don’t know!”

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Andrew: “There’s always something to talk about when you go to the dump”

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Andrew: “They have recovered the stick; but, people are still very angry about it”

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Andrew: “Well, that… made me, kind of, feel, like… I’m somebody’s man”

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Andrew: “Will you be my data-bae?”

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Andrew: “You ever have… one of those situations where you, kind of… receive some good news… but, unfortunately, it comes on the back of the specifically bad news that you were… kind of an idiot all along?”

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Andrew and Luke: Spicket vs spigot talk

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Luke: “8… bracket… forward slash… S-W-J-R-T-K-7-6… R-J-M… 3… F-D-F-E-R-8… apostrophe, 3, apostrophe, P… 8-6, semicolon, apostrophe, 8-7… 1”

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Luke: “I love Mother Earth”

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Luke: “In a… fit of desperation; which, is… honestly, my favorite kind of fit”

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Luke: “Okay. I’m sorry, Andrew. I am really sorry… This is so boring… but, it is for technogeeks with spreadshee”

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Luke: “Sorry, this is incredibly detailed and so boring”

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Luke: “That’s when I go from trying to be Mr. Good Boy… to… Mr. Rage Man”

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Luke: “This is so boring… but, it is for technogeeks with spreadshee”

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Luke: “What… you put a… you put indoor faucet… outdoors on your spicket!?”

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Luke: “You’re almost in the headbutt zone, Luke!”

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Andrew: “Andrew! Go to Home Depot… Buy a new pair of gloves”

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Andrew: “Creep finds a way”

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Andrew: “I’m just all over the place”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna say this stupid thing that I was able to say”

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Andrew: “I’ve been watching you from my window right there”

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Andrew: “It doesn’t feel like this is a professional way to start a professional podcast”

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Andrew: “Listeners, if you have any children I can borrow… I have a small, little project I’m working on”

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Andrew: “No-no-no! We love the bunnies”

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Andrew: “No, he’s getting banned”

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Andrew: “Oh, I should stop doing this”

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Andrew: “Okay… Still be here tomorrow… Mr. House”

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Andrew: “Sorry. There’s no room at this table”

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Andrew: “There’s no need for me to start the show… today, like this”

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Andrew: “This is why people have children… I get it now”

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Andrew: “This is why people have children… I get it now. You can send the little ones in there with some poison”

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Andrew: “Tinges of paranoia”

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Andrew: “You almost can’t get on all fours”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay… Still be here tomorrow… Mr. House. I call it Mr. House. I, I came up with that myself. That name again is Mr. House”

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Luke: “And, there’s a hashtag?”

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Luke: “As I’m Wantz to do”

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Luke: “Blah-blah-blah”

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Luke: “Don’t mess this up, Burbs!”

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Luke: “Holy shit. Bob’s coming for me”

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Luke: “I was agreeing to this! Because… I’m… nuts, and, also… I’m desparate”

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Luke: “Oh, sir… just one more thing related to the cat”

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Luke: “Pray for him!!”

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Luke: Singing “That name again is Mr. House”

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Luke: “So, I cannot send Randy home from my phone”

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Luke: “That’s a real Burbs move”

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Luke and Andrew: “Have you read any of your Yelp! reviews!? (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “(I eat stickers all the time…!) Whoa, that scared me!”

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Andrew: “I have some regrets about that intro… that we played at the beginning of the show”

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Andrew: “I have some regrets about that intro… that we played at the beginning of the show… Not huge regrets; but, small regrets”

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Andrew: “I thought the BoJack Horseman joke was good; except, it went on too long”

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Andrew: “It looks like I went… to… war”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Making slowly stepping backwards sounds

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Andrew: “Maybe even, kind of, heavier and… and, and, and lumpier”

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Andrew: “Oh, I can get these things!”

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Andrew: “One time”

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Andrew: “That’s mostly the space I play in”

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Andrew: “Wash your cornhole”

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Andrew: “What am I doing wrong?”

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Andrew: “Women cannot take a burn the way a man can”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ll walk that back. Can I walk that back? Yes, you can. Okay. Walking that one back… Doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot (Backing slowly) Slowly into the hedge!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Our hedges… our, what are they? Laurel… hedges… (Yanni hedges) Our… our, our Yanni hedges”

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Luke: “A game of horseshoes!? Boy, I’ve really been stressed; down and out”

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Luke: “But, then after… enough alcohol, I forget that I’m shirtless”

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Luke: “God! They’ve gotten to me too”

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Luke: “That’s the move!”

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Luke: “‘Wantz’ like ‘pants'”

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Luke: “You always gotta wash your cornhole, Andrew. I mean, honestly”

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Andrew: “And, I just am, just… draped in shame afterwards”

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Andrew: “Andy don’t play that”

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Andrew: “Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-basketball”

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Andrew: “Do you know who I am?”

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Andrew: “Eew. He just sleazes in and outta places”

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Andrew: “Hey, you really screwed my podcast today, Walsh”

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Andrew: “I am aloof though”

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Andrew: “I can take that key card out of my wallet and, and… loosen my belt a little bit; because, it won’t be dragging my pants down”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do for the newsletter today. Can I just send out a blank newsletter today?”

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Andrew: “I hope you’re right. I do. I’m, I’m trying to get there. I would like to be more hopeful. I’m, I’m just pessimistic”

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Andrew: “I tighten up so goddamn tight!”

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Andrew: “I, I love slipping into Maudlin Town”

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Andrew: “I, I love slipping into Maudlin Town. Like, that’s, that’s… that’s… that’s my version of Flavor Country… Maudlin Town”

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Andrew: “Indeedly doo, my friend!”

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Andrew: “Is there anything I could say that would, somehow, ease pain, as opposed to make it worse? No… I don’t… I don’t know what it is. I’m still looking for it”

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Andrew: “It’s just like… Well… you’re having a party and you didn’t invite me? ‘Well, Andy, you don’t come to parties.’ I know… but, I like to be invited!”

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Andrew: “It’s just… hundreds of years of, of… being… rights for some people and not all people, and it’s infuriating. And, it’s just the, the… the myth of freedom in this country is just… overwhelming right now” [ed: 💯]

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh, damn. I won’t be able to fill in during the holidays when there’s no news”

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Andrew: Singing “Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-basketball. Gimme the ball. I wanna dunk it”

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Andrew: “We voted… for you, asshole”

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Andrew: “Well… I think I can now say that I’ve been fired… Not from American Public Media, not from TBTL. That day will come”

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Luke: “I don’t know why that’s where my brain went today”

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Luke: “There are more of us than there are of them”

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Luke: “This is not what the… what the Founders intended for Music for Your Weekend!”

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Luke: “This is not what the… what the Founders intended for Music for Your Weekend!” [Trimmed]

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Luke: “This is why I, I’ll never understand music, Andrew”

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Luke: “We’re just gonna give you a… a cardiac infarction!”

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Luke: “Well, sometimes you headbutt the bar and sometimes the bar headbutts you”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everyone will all realize, at the same time, that I’m boring and that I have 4 stories… That’s how I feel… (Wait, what’s the 4th?) Sorry… It feels good to laugh”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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