Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “I thought you’re supposed to hold her paw?”

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Andrew: “I’m babbling”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Over here”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Yeah”

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Andrew: “My goal for the show is to make that come out your nose”

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Andrew: “No, no, he’s on a telephone pole, messing with wires. And, he says, ‘I can call my mom from here.’ And then, he yells, ‘Hey ma, get off the dang roof!’ Which is one of my favorite jokes ever.”

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Andrew: “Oh, wow!”

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Andrew: “Teriyaki Madness!”

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Andrew: “Why do I want to hurt you!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wants to hurt Luke by eating some ribs in front of him

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Andrew and Luke: “Does it give you gas!? No! Okay, good; (I got nothing) cuz, I lit a candle. Thank for doing that, John Fogerty.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good, that’s funny juice right there. Ha! Possible show title: Funny Juice!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a chopped and screwed version… Oh, that’s perfect. That’s absolutely perfect.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It was so goddamn moving, man. It was (Really?) so goddamn moving. Yeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Teriyaki Madness, we have your daughter! It’s so messed up! I love it.”

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Luke: “And I’m not trying to rub it in the ears of the listeners”

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Luke: “And that’s only, that’s just the beginning of the weirdness!”

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Luke: “Bodies rocked… five days a week. That’s right.”

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Luke: “God, kids are idiots.”

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Luke: “Green Bling”

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Luke: “I am whatever the opposite of being constipated is because (I love juice!) I’m in day two of my, of my juice cleanse”

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Luke: “I’ve got a Coleman cooler that looks like I have transported a human kidney here intro Andrew’s home studio”

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Luke: Injecting “Green tea” into the Biggie Smalls “Juicy” song

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Luke: “Let’s see if I grab that one. Yep! I did! Yes, I did. I did that.”

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Luke: “Oh, my goodness gracious. What has my life come to? What is this man’s life come to? He’s been sitting across the table from me, listening to all of this”

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Luke: “Oi!”

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Luke: “Sarcastic joke loading”

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Luke: Singing “Put a candle in the window, ’cause I feel I’ve got to move.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Basically wing-nut, white people. Yeah, I guess.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dang it! Why didn’t I think of that!?! (Right) You got me.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I still haven’t heard from him… (Right) but I could. (Right, right) I still haven’t heard from him… but I might.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve taken a lot of green juice during this program, and some of it is coming out of me. Not, not as we speak… God, I paid a lot for that chair. Good, grief.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It will be more like: I wanna steal stuff, I want to look at people when they’re naked, I wanna go to Costa Rica and not see me at the pool (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s make it all pineapple juice next time, please. Could you throw a meatball in there too, please? Ooh, I almost got ya, almost got ya. You came so close! It’s my carpet, I don’t know why I want to see this happen so bad.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oi! Oh, here we go. I’ve been watching a lot of Black Mirror. Apologies in advance, Sam.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Olive is our cat, by the way; in case, you just tuned into the show today. That’s not true, it’s their daughter! (Yeah, Yeah) And, this is a dark conversation.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is like when they cancelled TBTL on KIRO. How so? Umm, I kept missing kicks. Yeah, but, Jen kept holding them laces… in. Dang it! (So)”

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Luke and Andrew: “We could go way outside the litter box with this episode. Oh, ho-ho-ho! Dude, I told you… funny juice! (I love juice!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’d like to thank our Biggie Smalls ‘Juicy’ clean, chopped and screwed… level donors of the day (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, what about naked people? Exactly.”

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Luke: “And every time I turn on… fucking Jim Rome, I’m just like, ‘Goddamn it!'”

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Luke: “Biggie Smalls ‘Juicy,’ clean version, donors of the day”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: Cute Laugh #2

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Luke: “Cuz that’s, that’s gonna be upsetting to see in the toilet”

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Luke: “Eff my life”

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Luke: “I am, once again, embarking on a juice fast!”

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Luke: “I’m-a get you!”

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Luke: “In Hell’s anus”

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Luke: “It’s such a club-banger, but it’s so high!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Saying “Here I go once again with the e-mail” as Strong Bad

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Luke: Saying “Scotty Ferrall the Ferralla” in a weird voice

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Luke: Saying a promo for Scotty Ferrall in a weird voice

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Luke: “That would be how LB does”

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Luke: “Well, I stand by it, Andrew!”

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Luke: Whistling a portion of an Aerosmith song

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Luke: Whistling to the Strong Bad e-mail segment intro

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Luke: “Yonder parts of Bellingham”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew Walsh, tooth, tooth detective. There’s just one molar bothering me.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew wanted beef jerky pie

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Luke and Andrew: “Dang, that’s a tight cluster! Look at that, New England represent! (…of New England) Wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have to really actually, kind of like, sort of limit that. Because, otherwise, it’s gonna turn me, Andrew, into you. Uh, how so?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke whistling the Strong Bad e-mail segment intro and Andrew creating keyboard typing sounds

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “It’s gonn’ brick… out!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s some Hannibal Lector shit. Exactly what I pictured too!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, well, this is chopped and screwed… How come you get to make those jokes!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know Slate has a headline up right now that’s like ‘The Secret Reason Donald Trump Will Be Better for Liberals’. (Right) You know they gonna do that shit.”

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Andrew: “Aagh!”

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Andrew: “Ah, pulling a Walsh they call that. They, they, once, one young, one young cool person once said.”

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Andrew: “Ain’t fuck with Slate right now”

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Andrew: “Aw, juice buddies. I love juice!”

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Andrew: “Barely Home Companion”

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Andrew: “Be the Luke Burbank who has to pee the most”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “God!”

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Andrew: “Goddamn, that must smell bad!”

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Andrew: “Hmm… Hmm… Hmm.”

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Andrew: “I am obese”

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Andrew: “I forgot about that guy!”

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Andrew: “I wanna see how outrageous that is compared with my diet of, of just eating, of eating junk and awfulness”

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Andrew: “I’m a winner!”

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Andrew: “I’m the biggest wuss in the world”

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Andrew: “Is Wednesday’s show title gonna be, ‘So… Cold!’?”

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Andrew: “It’s a little too hip for me”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Like, you’re a hero”

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Andrew: “Radio math”

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Andrew: Saying “I love juice!” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “That’s a horrible imitation that I just did”

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Andrew: “There’s a, there’s a chin under there somewhere look that so many people find, so many people find sexy in a middle-aged pudge man, like myself.”

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Andrew: “There’s just one molar bothering me”

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Andrew: “This is a Trump-free zone”

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Andrew: “This is where I’m gonna be a little rude about it”

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Andrew: “Wait! Hold on, though”

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Andrew: Whistling

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Andrew: “Yay!”

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Andrew: “You don’t want me to scat in the meantime?”

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Andrew: “You know, fucking… Sorry.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I am awake, but I just don’t care that somebody’s got (Right) pliers in my mouth and ripping (Right) my goddamn tooth out”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke’s e-mail notification sound went off

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Andrew: “Another part of me died inside”

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Andrew: “By the way, I only do TBTL in my shoes now”

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Andrew: “Cockamamie”

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Andrew: “Cockamamie theories”

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Andrew: “Going into a Star Trek: The Next Generation K-hole. Maybe it’s a star-hole, maybe it’s a black hole”

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Andrew: “I don’t know”

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Andrew: “I mean, the thing we can say about Shkreli is, he is an attention whore”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, did my dismissive snort go down the line?”

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Andrew: “It feels good to laugh”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Man, that’s probably not a great TBTL topic”

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Andrew: “Oh, man. Oh, man!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So not interested, Francis”

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Andrew: “Who would take you off!?!”

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Andrew: “Wow. Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Yea–eff it”

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Andrew: “Yes! Good call.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Have you thought about kissing a red-haired girl? I was, that’s what I was trying to do down at the protest last night! You… I got pepper sprayed seven times, Andrew! Oh my God.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, I guess I could just do a CTRL+F, huh. But then, this podcast would be over too quickly. I don’t think this podcast can be over soon enough for the listeners.”

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Andrew and Luke: “So you took it to the streets last night, I hear. I did, I did. The people… what’s that? How does the chant go? I didn’t, I didn’t pay good attention (Oh, no!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “We need each other more than ever. Let’s not eat ourselves, what do you say? (Thank you) Yeah, (Thank you) let’s not turn on each other.”

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Luke: “Am, am I high?”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Dude, I’m a fucking repository of famous Albanian-Americans”

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Luke: “Here’s an, here’s a, a scientific-based thing that I’ll mess up, that’ll make our listeners mad. This is a service that we provide on our show.”

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Luke: “I have a very specific set of insecurities”

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Luke: “I talked to some of these people and try to not seem like a forty year old creep”

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Luke: “Like, I just want a normal, effing president”

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Luke: “Star Traks”

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Luke: “That was not constructed properly as a sentence”

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Luke: “We’re back, baby!”

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Luke: “You give us Chicago Hope”

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Luke: “You know what, Andrew? If being mean to me today helps you feel better, that’s, that’s okay. I’m okay, I can take it. I can be strong for both of us today.”

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Luke and Andrew: “And it can’t mate with other snails because of its misshapen shell; but, it met another snail, a female snail, that has the same (Wow) shell problem and it can mate. (Oh my God)”

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Luke and Andrew: “If Martin Shkreli does go to jail, he should hope that it’s in England, Andrew, where they apparently are putting people… Okay, fine, just go with me. I’m sorry, did my dismissive snort go down the line?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Tie Fighting our teeth. Wailing and gnashing our Tie Fighters”

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Andrew: “And, this is gonna be bad!”

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Andrew: “During his, his… keep wanting to say concession speech. Come on, brain, get used to this reality! Come on, brain, you can get there.”

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Andrew: “Eugh”

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Andrew: “I assume it’s not the flag of inclusiveness”

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Andrew: “I’m already mad at myself for just being so glib at the beginning. Today’s a hard day for a lot of people, myself included; and, you know what’s really annoying me today: people being glib.”

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Andrew: “I’m dubious”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Let’s just keep on listing my regrets! It is a TBTL after all.”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t give a shit about the Seahawks. I don’t give a shit about the Browns.”

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Andrew: “Silver lining alert”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, I am becoming human again, maybe.”

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Andrew: “They didn’t Pokémon Go to the polls”

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Andrew: “We only grow stronger in the broken places”

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Andrew: “What?”

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Andrew: “Where have I heard that before!?”

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Andrew: “You always need the over-reactor and the under-reactor”

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Andrew: “You bubble-gummer!”

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Andrew: “You know what? The Professor is lumping it up in there”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew made a sound of what could be a yelp of a dying seal when Trump walked on stage

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Andrew and Luke: “It was funny how we could all drink so much whisky, yet not feel very drunk. Do you ever have that experience, like when you’re so… Yeah, it’s called being Irish. It’s called, ‘doing this for twenty years, you bubble-gummer!'”

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Andrew and Luke: Powerfully Unfunny: Possible show title and underlying principle of TBTL

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Luke: “But, I just want to say for the record, I hate the Electoral College. I think it’s bullshit”

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Luke: “How can she be so glib!?”

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Luke: “I had a cheat night on the carbs”

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Luke: “Oh… shit”

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Luke: “Yeah, but do you, do you understand how liberal, how liberal our immigration policies are with Transylvanians; which, is where all of the sweet transexuals come from?”

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Luke: “You can politely go fuck yourselves forever”

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Luke and Andrew: “And she’s bummed, and I’m bummed, and our animals are bummed. Yeah, except for Olive; who, I’ve heard voted for Trump.”

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Luke and Andrew: “And the idea that because somebody wants to live in butt-fuck Egypt, they have a vote-and-a-half. Fuck that. In serious. Egyptians shouldn’t be allowed to vote in American elections. Well, and, thankfully, they won’t going forward. So, I mean, I, I think that’s a silver lining.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, Andrew, how’s it going man? Uh, great. What did I miss? (Yeah?) What did I miss? Not, not too much. Just, the potential end of the democracy. But, you know what? As they say, a couple of hundred years, that’s a good run for a republic.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a let it fly kind (That doesn’t) of guy… Of course you are. I’m, you know, I’m, I’m pretty let it fly for a white guy… the song that accurately describes (Right) me and my life.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was the exact sound that Westley makes in The Princess Bride. Right! That is a man… That is exactly what it was! …If only Mandy Patinkin and André the Giant could have heard you, and come and found you, and saved you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s gonna take me a little while before I can… say the name of the other person and have ‘President’ in front of it. Where have I heard that before!?”

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Luke and Andrew: La Brea Tar Pit of Logic

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Luke and Andrew: “Ruth Bader Ginsburg, take your motherfucking vitamins. Yeah, God.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The people who, who, who would not ever vote for a guy like that. The elites took Trump literally, but not seriously; and, (Mmm-hmm) the people who voted for him took him seriously, but not literally. (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “They’re like a cockroach that we keep trying to fumigate with logic… What? But, they just refuse to die and you have to respect that. What? I didn’t say all of my agression was gone.”

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Luke and Andrew: Trump laying down with a lot of dogs, David Dukes, Double Dukes, etc.

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