Category: Audio Clips

A listener left a voicemail in a David Attenborough-esque manner (with a hint of an Australian accent) about finding Andrew Walsh in his natural habitat of the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, Washington

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Luke: “And he said, ‘Clever girl'”

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Luke: “Eventually they are chopped, bro. And, screwed.”

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Luke: Giggling “It was like”

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Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster”

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Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster; although, he has, thankfully, agreed to accept the results of this podcast… if he wins.”

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Luke: “He of the octogenarian, sky diving habit”

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Luke: “His name is Andrew… huhhh… Walsh”

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Luke: “I also wrote this on, on Tweeter”

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Luke: “I decided, I’m gonna pull an Andrew”

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Luke: “I think it’s a great honor to these listeners to be our Bartman level donors of the day”

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Luke: “I think we’re on a, a real hot streak of late”

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Luke: If Luke were a monkey

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Luke: “Is it your civic duty to vote? I’m not actually sure.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke would kill to become a 60 Minutes correspondent

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Luke: “‘Oh, I’m sorry, is that Chris Hayes’s contact info in my phone?’ casually”

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Luke: “Oh, really? Now we’re not friends?”

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Luke: Saying “Only in New York, my friend” in a nasally manner

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Luke: Saying “That’s the, that’s the best tasting pickle I’ve ever heard” as the Vlasic Stork

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Luke: “Tell ’em The Bone sent ya”

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Luke: “That’s a bridge too far”

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Luke: “The loons, Norman! The, the salads, Norman!”

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Luke: “You wanna be on our podcast?

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Luke: “You won’t like this, Andrew; but, normals will.”

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Luke and Andrew: “He is known primarily for his drawings of tall ships and he joins us from the Wallingford neighborhood (Wrong!) of Seattle, Washington. Not true!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Here’s a thing, kids: If you go all the way down the ladder, you’ll have a fun explosion; and, then, you’ll have a baby when you’re seventeen. Gross.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I am so turned on right now. I know, this is the hottest! This is TBTL: After Dark”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know you that way! (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I know our show is Internet-based… Both, while we do it and where people get it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I went with… Jiminy Walsh. See, I don’t like, I don’t wanna be that. I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would never fly in the South NOBS district. No, no, it would not.”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing and saying “How would we get there? I don’t know”

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Luke and Andrew: Tunify and Tuna Sandwiches

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Luke and Andrew: “You guys could have had a cow when you heard us asking for donations during the most recent TBTL-a-thon. But, you didn’t man! You didn’t.”

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Andrew: “Ahh, they’re all a bunch of crooks!”

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Andrew: “All of the jacks on the machines are jacked up, appropriately enough”

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Andrew: “But, I’m more of a Seattle guy”

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Andrew: “By the way, quick, quick, quick aside… you miss New York!”

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Andrew: “Cowabunga”

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Andrew: Dominican Republican

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Andrew: “Fuck. What did we talk about?”

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Andrew: “Hey, did you watch that debate last night? Cuz, if not, it would be weird.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why kids are talking like this in Ohio; but, they are!”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of thinking to do”

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Andrew: “I just don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

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Andrew: “I still don’t know why it’s called a ‘hand grenade ladder’!”

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Andrew: “It’ll be very much tomorrow’s salad today”

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Andrew: “It’s got the thing over the N”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let’s go more biblical”

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Andrew: “No offense, Donovan”

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Andrew: “Nope, it’s not in Spotify; so, thank God for that.”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, politics. That’s how they get ya!”

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Andrew: “Ooh God, I remember my first arm-around.”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “It’s kinky”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “So much to say!”

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Andrew: Singing “U-N-I-T-Y”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “There’s no good that comes of this”

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Andrew: “They’re all crooks!”

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Andrew: “Was this salad chopped and screwed? That’s how I’m gonna talk.”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “Whatever”

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Andrew: “Yes! Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Does this story end with you staring at a tree and crying? No, Andrew!”

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Andrew and Luke: North of the Burrito Shop or NOBS

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Somehow ‘No offense, Donovan’… Ahhhh… Somehome ‘No offense, Donovan’ really makes me laugh. Alright. Cool.” with Andrew laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “This sounds adorbs. You’re gonna lose your, lose your, your shit.”

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Luke: “And it just changed my frigging life!”

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Luke: “And, of wanting to nail your order”

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Luke: “And, you totally nailed it”

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Luke: “But, eighty percent of our audience has zero idea what the chopping and the screwing of a hip-hop song even means.”

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Luke: “Dag!”

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Luke: “I don’t feel like it’s as good when I make it. Now, when my wife makes it, cuz she can make super, awesome homemade salad dressing that I like. When she makes it, it’s good. When I make it, it’s like… uhh. I wish I was at Chop’t.”

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Luke: “I was turning into, I look like Lou Dobbs!”

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Luke: “It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood”

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Luke: “Jalapeños are the jam”

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Luke: “Last night, I was doing what I do when I get to a hotel room; which is, watching Forensic Files”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing and saying “What bald spot?”

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Luke: “Oh, man”

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Luke: “Oh, my good gracious. Andrew, why didn’t you tell me?”

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Luke: “Uh, I, I”

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Luke: “We can’t get started with the show, though, for realsies until we talk to this young man”

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Luke: “What is this, October 19th, in the year of our Lord, Twenty-Sixteen?”

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Luke: “Whoa”

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Luke: “You’ve made this Houston a home”

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Luke and Andrew: “And they chop it all up… and then they screw it. I don’t get it.”

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Luke and Andrew: Chop’t and Screwed in Bellingham

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Luke and Andrew: “Jalapeños… (Yeah) On a salad?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sharpshooting Andrew’s pronunciation of Manhattan’s “Houston”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mike doesn’t have, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on in this argument. Oh… nasty!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s what I look like? Cool. I’m forty years old, this is face, this is my bo-ody, (Mmm-hmm) it’s fine.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The other thing I’m loving about New York, Andrew, which I’ve forgotten about is… there are so many healthy good options. (Mmm)”

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???: Sneeze

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Andrew: “Beforehand, though, if folks are looking to have a few drinks before the show… (It makes the show better) Just kidding, Luke.”

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Andrew: “But, I’m screwed”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Hey, dummy!”

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Andrew: “Hey! Hey, put that down in the Hall of Quotes: If the Indians win this, then they, then they won.”

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Andrew: “Houston is where you hang your hat”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I want a hotness in there”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna try Bing. You go ahead.”

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Andrew: “I’ve been thinking about that sandwich all day”

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Andrew: “If that’s true, that’s pretty, pretty effed up”

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Andrew: “If the Indians win this, then, then, then they won”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “I love it!”

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Andrew: “Luke, it was so racist!”

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Andrew: “Man!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! You, you can’t, you can’t write to listeners that way!”

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Andrew: “Okay. So, that, that was a good pay off. I’m glad I broke your rhythm. Go ahead.”

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Andrew: Pronouncing Manhattan’s “Houston” incorrectly

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Andrew: Singing “Back in the New York groove”

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Andrew: “Sorry, didn’t mean to put you on blast”

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Andrew: “They had nice, cubed salamis”

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Andrew: “This is our Hous-ton!”

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Andrew: “Try finding a Walkman, dude!”

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Andrew: “Ugh! No thank you, nerd!”

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Andrew: “Wait, let me do a quick Google”

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Andrew: “We have, we’ve salads in Bellingham. Just go to the Haggen’s!”

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Andrew: “Well, it gets complicated”

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Andrew: “Will you write a children’s book, at some point, called ‘This Is My Face, This Is My Bo-ody’?”

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Andrew: “Ya made it work! Ya made it work!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I, I just told you this isn’t a good TBTL topic; but, here I go, telling you what I read on it.”

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Andrew: “Yes! It’s so bad. It’s so bad!”

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Andrew: “You just always look like Luke to me”

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Andrew: “You know what you do when you make assumptions, my friends”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ass-umptions (…you and me) Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, dummy! Whoa! No.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Now, I only insult the listeners. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You should put a box… over your bald spot. What bald spot? I don’t, I don’t have a bald spot. It’s already working!”

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Luke: “And, I also promise to give you five stars on your Uber rating; since, I’m turning you into my personal Uber driver.”

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Luke: “As per ushe”

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Luke: “B-T-Dubs”

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Luke: “Because, that’s part of the problem with this handmade, artisanal bull crap!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Do you sleep with your baseball?”

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Luke: “Do you sleep with your pastrami?”

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Luke: “I want you to pull that e-brake, and I want you to Dukes the Hazzard out of that shit. I wanna hit that, I wanna hit that turn. I want you to Tokyo Drift into that turn, okay?”

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Luke: “I’m sex negative”

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Luke: “If you are up for this, I promise to buy you a pastrami sandwich”

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Luke: “If you do not think this is a good idea, I understand. If you need me, I’ll be in the Alaska Lounge, getting drunk on free red wine.”

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Luke: “If, if you don’t know who’s wearing the fedora within fifteen minutes, you’re wearing the fedora.”

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Luke: “Jam it into this space”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Look at this! If you guys could just see the, the cajones on this Andrew Walsh”

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Luke: “Of course, they’re not selling hats today”

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Luke: “One thing is, on a Tuesday at 11:30, they’re gonna be open and selling fucking hats.”

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Luke: Saying “Uh, actually, it was the LA Angels. They were a Minor League team there in nineteen whatever” in a pedantic manner

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Luke: “So, the one block I walk, a dude recognizes me, and I’m deeply ashamed.”

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Luke: “So, we’re on our way to Ebbets Flannels. I want to get this Bellingham Mariners hat because it has a bee on it. Is that a little… self, self obsessed? It looks like ‘B’ for Burbank.”

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Luke: “Swerve on Carbs”

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Luke: “Well, I got Rosco and Boss Hog trailing me”

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Luke: “Where are our East Linn-homies?”

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Luke: “You can’t go home again”

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Luke and Andrew: “And I just fire up a shot and it is the biggest airball in history. Of course, it was.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I still think it’s kind of a cute hat, and… By the way, remind me to never say, ‘It’s kind of a cute hat’. Well, no, say that a lot when you go in there.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I would’ve never been allowed to watch because of Daisy’s dukes (I hear you)”

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Luke and Andrew: “If I’m gonna have a cheat day, I’m gonna go to Tats with you (Right) and get my pastrami on.”

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Luke and Andrew: Licensing Talk and Internet Hat Talk

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Luke and Andrew: “That is the office of the couple’s counselor that Carey and I used to go to; just in case, you’re ever in the neighborhood, Andrew, and you need counseling. Things with me and Carey are fine. Oh, well, stop throwing it in my face.”

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Andrew: “And just a dash of racism”

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Andrew: “Are you ready to pastrami!!?”

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Andrew: Engaging the parking brake

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Andrew: “Hello! My name is Andrew Walsh, I live on Burke! Everything is fine!”

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Andrew: “Here’s the biggest disappointment in that whole thing: future tripping sounds so cool; yet, in reality, it’s such a shitty thing.”

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Andrew: “Hey, Burbank”

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Andrew: “Hold on. There’s a joke about priming the pump. I’m just… I’m, I can’t access it right now.”

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Andrew: “I don’t do Dido, dude!”

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Andrew: “I dunno. I almost killed us.”

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Andrew: “I mean, I guess the fact your b-brain is going there is the problem.”

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Andrew: “I sit with it”

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Andrew: “I thought it involves Molly!”

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Andrew: “I’m always kind of like, ‘Well, is there gonna be a wait? Is there gonna be a line? Uhh, can we just go to Applebee’s… or Lids?'”

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Andrew: “Is your flying moustache the same as your massage chair moustache?”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, no problem. Let’s get our pastrami on.”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s totally apropos!”

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Andrew: “Oh… ha-ha!”

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Andrew: “Or, we could do this. You could be our John Clayton Show listeners of the day.”

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Andrew: “Power out!”

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Andrew: “Se Va, Se Va, Se Va”

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Andrew: “Team of the Whatevers and the Hoo-has”

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Andrew: “The Denny’s of my youth is gone”

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Andrew: “You could just hiss and swipe at them”

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Andrew: “You know what? First order of business while Genevieve is out of town: Get me some Denny’s.”

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Andrew: “You would be the John Clayton Show hosted by fill-in host Gee Scott level donors of the day.”

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Andrew: “You’re cool”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew being a foamer

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Andrew and Luke: “But, like, going into somebody’s place and seeing their, like, wooden ball massager… don’t mis-interpret what I just said. Now, I’m starting to understand why the windows are fogged up in the Scion.”

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Andrew and Luke: “How do you like my driving? That was a, that was a pretty sick move you pulled there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think that it would be a little posery for–You know me. What’s my biggest fear, Luke? What’s my biggest fear? Breakfast. I thought you meant of the things we eat.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I, also, am not exactly what you’d call a fashionista. Are you a Maxxinista? I am not a Maxxinista or a fashionista. I’m a barista. That wasn’t good. Don’t laugh at that… Don’t reward that.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s not the same. Everything’s healthier. Your sausage doesn’t perform the same way.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Keep your eyes on me. Make sure I don’t make a mistake. Number two, be prepared for me to make a mistake, and (Alright) don’t holler. I won’t. This is a holler-free zone my friend.”

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Andrew and Luke: Which side of a skateboard has wheels

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