Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Also trying to work out a ‘Who allowed her to leave the office? Who? Who?’ joke.”

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Andrew: “And, every time you look at the show page, I want you to think about what you did.”

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Andrew: “But, she looks happy as shit.”

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Andrew: “By the way, we never talked about the fact that you used my voi–that yesterday was a big day for me. It was the first time in TBTL history that you used my own voice as one of your drops at the beginning of a show. It gave me, it gave me weird feelings, good weird feelings!”

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Andrew: “Clear the Walshes off the street.”

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Andrew: “Good Lord!”

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Andrew: “Hmm, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

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Andrew: “I just literally don’t have words.”

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Andrew: “I’m just trying to make you mad now. It sounds like I’m just baiting you.”

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Andrew: “Invisibooyah”

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Andrew: “It bothers me!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing after playing a clip

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Okay, let’s just keep on talking about Drop Talk.”

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Andrew: “One thing’s botherin’ me!”

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Andrew: Peter Griffin-like laugh

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Andrew: “So, I like that.”

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Andrew: “Somebody needs one, I ain’t got one.”

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Andrew: “That one’s on you! I didn’t send you down that path!”

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Andrew: Yawning and saying “Hey, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Yeah… I, you know, I’m scared of disappointing people.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing while Luke is saying “I don’t know which one I don’t work in. That’s the problem.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Bringing the music back. Good, good stuff there. It felt weird there for a second. Yeah, it was–things were getting too real.”

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Andrew and Luke: “How do you lose a Barney suit? I don’t know.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I thought I, I thought I made things weird, sorry. Did I make things weird? No. Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke muted his microphone and it almost made things weird

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh my God!!! Ah!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, I get it! It’s like Ancestry, but only Blandcestry. Yeah. Sorry. Next time, you tell me a joke you’re happy with. Oh, shit! A hard rain is gonna fall, my friend. Clear the Walshes off the street.”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is real, right? Yes, it’s real!”

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Luke: “I was really feeling pretty high on my own supply”

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Luke: “I, I don’t believe in, like, hocus pocus.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “OMG”

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Luke: “OMG, it is time, once again, for a Monday afternoon edition of TBTL, the show that might just be Too Beautiful To Live.”

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Luke: Saying “I am not a crook” as Nixon

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Luke: Saying “I am not a lawyer” as Nixon

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Luke: “She’s gone Hollywood.”

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Luke: Singing “Pick up the red pube!”

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Luke: Singing “Who will die-hi-hi-hi-hi, who will die-hi, who will die-hi” to the Game of Thrones theme

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Luke: “The second that the fame train pulled out of the station, she was on it, she was riding it, and we haven’t seen her since. And, it’s sad, it really changes the dog, it really does. (Perro)”

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Luke: “We’re just ready to bring you the, the, the, the pure, uncut, distilled drop that is episode #2145 in a collector’s series.”

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Luke: “Which is… ridiculous.”

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Luke: “Wristy Business”

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Luke and Andrew: Bowel Movements

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I get up and play in your (Right) excavator?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hot the dogs, ha the dogs, ha-dogs, ha-dog. It took me a while to figure out what the shit you were doing there.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Including my wife who said, ‘You know, those sweats make you look like a child molester.’ Oh, wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was (Wow) a, a bloodbath.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing lyrics about bowling to the Game of Thrones theme

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Luke and Andrew: “No, no. It’s a, it’s a pube. Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “OMG, I’m raising Andrew. (Nice!) Does this resonate with you? Yes. And you are raising Andrew. God bless you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Raising Andrew-zona. Okay, Raising Andrew-zona.”

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Luke and Andrew: “When I start looking at the menu, I’m like, what is meat and cheese cuz that’s all stuff I can have. And someday, you will poop again.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You don’t like to, you don’t like to get together with the fellas and shoot some dunks? I love shooting dunks when possible.”

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Andrew: “Because I don’t have tons of fellas in my life”

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Andrew: “But, that didn’t stop me, Luke.”

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Andrew: “By the way”

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Andrew: “Eww”

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Andrew: Gurgly “All”

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Andrew: “I am so ready to be an old man!”

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Andrew: “I don’t have a rhyme. I don’t have a reason. I’m just junked up in the head, because of, like, because of influences over me when I was a little kid.”

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Andrew: “I mean, if Cleveland had lost this, like it would’ve just been, it’d have been like the, the groundhog. It would’ve been another 60 years of winter…”

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Andrew: “I will totally old man it.”

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Andrew: “I will totally old man it. I am so ready to be an old man!”

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Andrew: “I would say that this show is going to be all 360 spins and slam dunk pointers, Luke.”

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Andrew: “I, um, well I don’t want reality to take the piss out of that wonderful scenario.”

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Andrew: “If she laps me, or she even, if she gets ahead of me, I, I don’t know what I can say about the future of this podcast.”

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Andrew: “It took me a while to figure out what the shit you were doing there.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Now stop gnashing your teeth, Jesus Christ!”

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Andrew: “Oh, The Static!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wow!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah. Absolutely.”

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Andrew: “Raising Ariz-Andrew”

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Andrew: “Really?!?!”

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Andrew: “She was… dating.”

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Andrew: Singing “Important show, important show” to the West Wing theme

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Andrew: “So self-serious!”

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Andrew: “So, I’m a little sore today, cuz you use muscles you don’t usually use.”

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Andrew: “We want a pitching machine, not a belly-itching machine.”

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Andrew: “Well, what was your sock situation though?”

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Andrew: “What I don’t know about the law could, obviously, fill a room.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I knew something (Oh) was wrong as it was coming out of my mouth, something was wrong with that spoof.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s just, it’s science, (Yeah) it’s about, it’s the science of curses.”

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Andrew and Luke: Rending versus Rendering

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Andrew and Luke: Statue of Liberation/Libertation and Statutes of Limitations

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Andrew and Luke: “Touch ’em all, man. Touch ’em all.”

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Luke: “Aw, man. It’s not from a female. This one’s from a male named ‘Andrew Walsh’.”

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Luke: “But Andrew, she wasn’t out of the woods yet.”

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Luke: “Can’t stop it, sometimes it just happens. It just comes out of me.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “I don’t like murderers, y’all!”

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Luke: “I know, right?”

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Luke: “I’ll dazzle you with one other deet.”

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Luke: Luke wants to lodge a small thorn of truth in Nancy Grace’s foot

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Luke: “Northwest Territory, uh, just a little south of Yellowknife. God, that is remote sounding.”

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Luke: “Oh my God!!!”

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Luke: “Please. There’s not paperwork.”

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Luke: “Pod-dog? Where is li’l Pod-dog? Umm, she is… (Perro) Actually, she’s Trench-Dog today. That sounds like that could be her rap name as well.”

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Luke: “Racism is wrong, y’all!”

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Luke: “Trench-Dog”

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Luke: “You know what? I was, I was cyberbullied to within an inch of my life last night. Okay? Don’t start with me.”

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Luke: “You suck!”

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Luke: “You’re a bad person if you’re, if you’re abusing…”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew mean-mugging the camera and intense stare

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew saying “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity” would make for a good drop plus Marsupial Gurgle name drop

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Luke and Andrew: Caribou and Nunavut

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Luke and Andrew: “I would absolutely shit my Dockers, which is what I wear for mushroom hunting. (Mmm-hmm) I would shit my Dockers if there was a bear anywhere in my vicinity.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you see something, shame something? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s your photo, it’s your story, it’s your call. It’s a beautiful story, it’s not a beautiful photo.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke describing how he would try to shut down Nancy Grace

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Luke and Andrew: Luke pulled a Nunavut joke and Andrew was late at catching it

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sings and make up lyrics to the “Forensic Files” theme song

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! I didn’t know this… his debut single was ‘Toot It And Boot It’? Oh, that’s him?!? (This is what…) Wait, what?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! Yeah. (Wow!) He was a real, like that’s… This is incredible, wow!”

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Andrew: “Don’t… don’t make it weird!”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair down.”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair whatever.”

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Andrew: “I honestly don’t know. I mean, I would just be a puddle of a mess.”

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Andrew: “I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “I’m just like, so eye-rolly, I’m just like, ‘Whatever’.”

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Andrew: “I’m just trying to make this about Canada.”

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Andrew: “It is so upsetting!”

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Andrew: “It is… weird looking.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Right. Exactly.”

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Andrew: Laughing while saying “I don’t have that one. That’s the best one.”

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Andrew: “My driver license photo, I look like a man who just did something awful, and is kind of pleased with himself.”

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Andrew: “Nancy, what you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God… how?”

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Andrew: “Oh, Lordy!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Nunavut! Son of a–I got it.”

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Andrew: “So I take off my glasses, they take this unflattering photo… The camera is a little bit below me, so just it’s a lot of chin. I have this kind of lazy eye thing, and it look like, my, my one eye might have been, just, a tiny bit wondering. I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “Sorry.”

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Andrew: “That’s weird!”

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Andrew: “The glasses are a huge part of my face.”

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Andrew: “This is an image I’ve never seen before in my life.”

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Andrew: “Uhhh, is the equipment working? We’re live!”

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Andrew: “Umm, that’s ambitious, but I like it.”

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Andrew: “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “When I take my glasses off, I’m very discombobulated.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying how he would shut down Nancy Grace

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, your Music For Your Weekend. Oh, sorry, gotcha. He’s not out of the woods yet! (Ha-ha!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The sad thing is… clearly, this story is a fake, right? You think so? No, I’m just joking.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Was it a bear problem… or a bear blessing!”

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Luke: “And he kind of whips it around in some kind of a bizarre, like, cinnamon roll of hair.”

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Luke: “And wondering (Perro) where the Pod-dog is… Yeah, that didn’t work.”

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Luke: “Bro-ing it up, as it were.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cinnamon roll of hair”

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Luke: Giggling

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Luke: “I know!”

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Luke: “I’m a grown-ass man, I’m 40 years old. I’ve done… things.”

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Luke: “I’m in a world of pain, I’m in a world of hurt right here at the top of the show.”

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Luke: “I’m turning into the little kid I never was.”

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Luke: “I’ve got some thoughts on The Donald’s hair”

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Luke: “It would have been fodder for the show, because it would have killed me. So, I mean, it would have been kind of cool to narrate that, for the listeners; to get to, like just listen to like a three day process. By, during which time, a podcast host expires from physical exhaustion and exertion.”

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Luke: “It’s an art and science I’m well familiar with.”

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Luke: Laughing while Andrew is talking

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Luke: Making throat clearing noises and saying “Donald Trump” and “Paul Ryan”

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Luke: “Please save me.”

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Luke: “Please, tell me what I have to do to get you to make this cable go through this wall. Please.”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “Well, yeah. Bourbon Street is just, basically, a river of throw up.”

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Luke: “Which, you’re almost never being a pain in anyone’s butt.”

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Luke: “Yeah, no. We’re doing, we’re doing it legit. We’re, we’re keeping it real.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, we, we, we decided to make queso fundido (Right) with a side of Limburger. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would be great. It would be awful!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would feel like ramen noodles covered in Aqua Net. Oof, oh God. Are you hungry? Yes! Mmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not funny. It’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny to me. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look who made it, Pod-dog! Aww. What’s up dude?”

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