Audio Clips – Page 333 – Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “Oh good, there’s salad! And then, somebody crumbled some sort of white and gray shitty cheese in here; and, you’re like, son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Dad.”

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Andrew: “Oh, hell yeah!”

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Andrew: “So, what’s, what’s a telephone?”

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Andrew: “Son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “That was a weird thing to say.”

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Andrew: “That’s the one exception that proves the rule.”

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Andrew: “That’s the suburban Andrew in me.”

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Andrew: “Will you go in the hottub with me?”

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Andrew: “Will you go to prom with me?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew recommends Luke go “Sexy Beast” when the trench digger arrives

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s what they call 4-D theater, it really is just like… It was an (Yeah) immersive experience. Unfortunately, yeah, it was in Smell-O-Vision. Yes.”

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Andrew and Luke: Small Bites at the Throat Clearing Apple

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Andrew and Luke: “Somebody comes over here… This is the library at Howard University, what are you doing?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say it was a trenchant story? Oh, shit! Ohh!!! God, now! No, I deserve the applause on that one.”

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Audio Clips

Carl the Bear Puncher

June 19, 2016 June 19, 2016

Once a upon a time, there was a bear that got punched by a guy named Carl. The CBS Sacramento video of the interview with Carl has been a great source of drops that have been played on the show.

The following are the various clips from the video in chronological order.

Carl: “The man or beast that I run from, ain’t been born, and his mama’s already dead.”

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Carl: “I ain’t runnin’ from nothing. I never have in my whole life and I ain’t gonna start now. And, you’re not gonna sacrifice my babies for some damn bear.”

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Reporter: “The other week, Lacy the dog he loves like a daughter, started whimpering outside. Carl ran out, and there it was, a bear who had no idea what world it just stepped into: Carl’s World.”

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Carl: “And I raised both hands in the air, and I cussed at him, ‘Get out of there, you [bleep]!’ Yeah, and, he looked at me like, ‘Go F yourself’.”

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Reporter: “And what happened next can only be described as insane. Carl landed a whirling haymaker, punching the bear right in the face. ‘Bear’-handed, if you will.”

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Carl: “He come up like this, and he turned: Boom! I hit him hard. Tyler said, I damn nearly corkscrewed his head.”

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Reporter: “We’ve all heard of a tall-tale, the fish this big that got away. So was Carl up to it? Well, if you talk to the guy he’s known for 25 years, he’ll tell you, ‘You bet.'”

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John: “Carl just smacks it. Couldn’t believe it.”

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John: “He’s an ex-first recon Marine. He’s been in bar room brawls, and, all kinds of stuff.”

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Carl: “This guy’s a jerk, but he ain’t been back since he got been smacked by Carl.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2142: Luke Burbank Edition

June 17, 2016 June 17, 2016

Luke: “And the kids are just a brick in a wall!”

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Luke: “Andrew, today, I become a man.”

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Luke: “Daytime Emmy Award Winning bad boy of public radio”

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Luke: “Dear Uncle Luke and Whiskers Walsh”

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Luke: Drawn out “Oh, boy.”

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Luke: “Gaaaaahhhhhh!”

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Luke: “I smoked a righteous doob and I friggin’ lost my mind in Pink Floyd.”

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Luke: “I’m laughing and apologizing for my lack of faith; which, I know disturbs you.”

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Luke: “I’m not down with any of that Pink Floyd shit.”

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Luke: “If a Bloody Mary is too red, I’m headin’ back to bed.”

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Luke: “It really is days like these that make me chill, enjoy the ride.”

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Luke: “It’s kind of like having two different people have to have the codes for the nuclear annihilation of my life.”

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Luke: “It’s really knowing when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em, my friend. That was definitely a fold ’em situation.”

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Luke: “Life… hacked!”

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Luke: “Love ya. Love ya bunches.”

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Luke: Luke ate his full complement of parsnip chips before the show instead of during the show

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Luke: “Now, we’re gonna go down a weird rabbit hole.”

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Luke: Reading Andrew’s Cantonese nickname

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Luke: Reading Luke’s Cantonese nickname

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Luke: “Speaking of, of things that you may or may not be able to eat. That was a stretch.”

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Luke: “Stat”

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Luke: “Thick, thick, thick”

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Luke: “This guy’s full of dazzling deets and upsetting deuts.”

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Luke: Tongue clicking

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Luke: “We were just like, uh, you know, it was like we’re real boys, Andrew. We were real Boyz II Men; just, letting ourselves into Minnesota Public Radio.”

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Luke: Whistling

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Luke: “You are wrong, not once, but twice, my friend.”

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Luke: “You gotta stick around for that; for, it is a deet that will dazzle you.”

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Luke: “You know, step one and step two and [tongue clicking] Whisker’s your uncle.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, I am turning into an elderly person; who, if I don’t have my saccharine(!)… Mmm-hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I tell you the other thing that’s in my, my travel bag that I have with me at all times; that, has all of the essentials in my life? Is it an ointment? It isn’t an ointment! Okay, good. Then, yes… Mercifully.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m the bad boy of public radio, Andrew. Right, exactly. Daytime Emmy Award Winning bad boy of public radio.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke starts singing “I’m a Believer” as Neil Diamond

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Luke and Andrew: “Reaching the end of the road and Andrew failed in making a spoof”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2142: Andrew Walsh Edition

June 17, 2016 June 17, 2016

Andrew had a little bit of fun with the name “Guy Fieri” on the show by exaggerating the last name more and more each time Andrew said it.

Andrew and Luke: “Guy Fieri. Oh, wait, no. How am I supposed to say it now? Guy Fieri. Is that how I’m supposed to say it? Fieri. No, I think it’s the way I said it. Mmm-hmm. Anyway… Agree to disagree.”

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Andrew: Saying “Guy Fieri” in an exaggerated manner

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Andrew: Saying “Guy Fieri” in an even more exaggerated manner

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Andrew and Luke: Each time Andrew says “Guy Fieri”, it gets stretched out more and more

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In the clip above, Luke hoped that Andrew would end up lengthening and further exaggerating the way he says “Fieri” to the point where it would take up the entire show. For sanity’s sake, I attempted to create a version in which saying Guy Fieri’s name lasted for a wee bit over 7 seconds. To be honest, it is about 6.9 seconds too long.

Andrew: Stretched “Guy Fieri”

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Andrew: “#WordsOfBizdom”

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Andrew: “Ahhh, I enjoy a good sit.”

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Andrew: “And I’m not trying to talk you out of it, and I swear I’m not trying to take the piss out of the story.”

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Andrew: “Do you have a hard out… today? Do you have a hard…time that you have to be out? Sorry, that might have sounded weird to people who just didn’t quite hear what I said.”

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Andrew: Flat “Notice me suk suk”

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Andrew: “Half funny, mostly bitchy”

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Andrew: “Hoo-hoo”

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Andrew: “I could be part of this show for so long; and yet, still be so wrong”

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Andrew: “I could be part of this show for so long; and yet, still be so wrong about one of its founding principles. The principle in this case is ‘California Got Sunshine’.”

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Andrew: “I have a confession to make”

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Andrew: “I’ll make love to you?”

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Andrew: “I’ll make love to you? Oh, gah… Oh, that was weird! Nope, nope. I was just trying to spoof!”

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Andrew: “I’m your fact checking cuz.”

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Andrew: “If my state ID won’t get me where I want to go; then, I didn’t want to go there anyway. I’m talking to you, Canada.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, whatever.”

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm”

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Andrew: “Now, I’ve, I’ve got the keys to the kingdom over there.”

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Andrew: “Oh.”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. I forgot about that.”

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Andrew: “Oh, of course.”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: “Persona non bearda”

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Andrew: Saying “I know!” and laughing

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Andrew: Saying “Notice me suk suk, notice…” while Luke was talking

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Wow. Lot, lot of, lot of upsettingness in that, in that introduction right there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then it was #WordsOfBizdom. And that was up there… (Gaaaaahhhhhh!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hold on, though. I wish I had said, ‘You are now gonna be persona non bearda’. I don’t think you do. I, no, I do wish I had said that; but, I wish that I had said it in a funnier way.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I always kept it in my back pocket and I was touching it every two seconds; which, is why I kept on touching my ass, Luke. Bro!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Look! There’s a turkey slider on it! It’s like (Right) if I want a turkey slider, I would’ve ordered a fucking turkey slider!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, shit! It’s all, of course, and, and I knew that! Now, I’m just mmm… (Umm, yeah, that, that’s…) Hoo-hoo.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2141

June 16, 2016 June 16, 2016

Andrew: “And, I honestly had this strokey moment, where I was like, am I losing time?”

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Andrew: “Bye-bye.”

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Andrew: “Give me a brark!”

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Andrew: “God bless you sir.”

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Andrew: “God damn it!”

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Andrew: “I miss you Langer’s.”

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Andrew: “I remembered what happiness was like.”

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Andrew: “I was just was, I honestly had this moment where I was kind of like, ‘What is this feeling I have?’ And it was less shame. No, it was, it was, it was, it was just, kind of like, ‘Oh, Andrew, you’re just happy. You don’t have anything looming.'”

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Andrew: “Kids, earmuffs.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, Lordy!”

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Andrew: Mumbling/shrugging “I don’t know”

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Andrew: “Oh, I always forget that! God damn it! Stop reminding me of the truth.”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!” #2

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Andrew: “Oooooh!”

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah” while laughing

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Andrew: “She’s about to get screwed!”

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Andrew: “Sorry, I’m all over the place already.”

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Andrew: Tongue clicking

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Andrew: “Too rich for my blood.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew felt like he had a moment of stroke

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Andrew and Luke: Bolden, not Bolton, Effect

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Andrew and Luke: Freon Market and Grover Walshquist

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Andrew and Luke: “I am honestly having a weird moment here, what game are you talking about? The baseball game, that’s where you eat hot dogs. What other game would I be talking about?”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “And where the AC was kickin’ like a chicken.”

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Luke: “But it just nailed me so hard.”

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Luke: “But, I mean, it just looks like it would really jab your bunghole.”

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Luke: “Cowabunga, dude!”

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Luke: “Damn, it feels good to be home everybody!”

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Luke: “Double up. Unh, unh.”

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Luke: “He’s rested, he’s refresh-ted”

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Luke: “I have been reduced to the human version of a popsicle by the bananas air conditioning that we’ve apparently embraced as an American society.”

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Luke: “I mean, it’s just an un-refrigerated meat log”

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Luke: “I’m a super-maximizer, optimizer, upgraderer”

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Luke: “Interesanté”

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Luke: “People will have to tune in to tomorrow’s show to find out if just spent the last, uh, you know, or spent the intervening 20 hours, just, dazzling deuts all over Burbank Springs.”

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Luke: Pod-dog and expired, un-refrigerated meat log

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “These shoes are U-G-L-Y, they ain’t got no alibi. They’re ugly.”

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Luke: “What a girl wants. What a girl needs.”

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Luke: “Whoo! That dun not smell good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Although, Bronn is a guy who would punch you in the dick. He is totally. Like, he would just come up and be like ‘Two for flinching!’; and then, just sock you in the nads.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew gets a little too handsy sometimes

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, speaking of things that are not working, at least for me. Hmm-hmm. A decent transition. I guess. How dare you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But what I have been noticing. And, by the way, can I get some kind of a, a award for not saying ‘Noticing Senpai’… But you, but you, but then you, what did you though? But then what did you do though? Then I did it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Probably smells like the inside of Mountain’s mask. Oh God! Oh, God! You know, another thought I had yesterday was, what does the Mountain’s shit smell like? Oh, God!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Should that be a memé that I start? A memé.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, that was a (There it is) long climb for a short slide.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s already been podcasted can’t be podcasted… Ahh!”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s dead can never be dead? Yeah, right.”

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Audio Clips

Onyx the Fortuitous: “Notice me Senpai” and “Weird Arby’s Guy”

June 15, 2016 March 18, 2017

Back in 2015, a guy going by the name “Onyx the Fortuitous” was featured in a video regarding a statue of Bephomet and Satanists. In the video, Onyx the Fortuitous uttered the famous like, “Notice me Senpai, notice me”. Both Luke and Andrew have played the “Notice me Senpai” drop on the show and played on the meme.