Category: Audio Clips

Luke: “alt.morissette.belaboured”

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Luke: “Andrew!”

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Luke: “But you could just feel the sphincters of an entire audience of white liberals just, just pucker right on up.”

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Luke: Can’t quite say “2000th Episode”

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Luke: Doing a promo for the 2000th episode of TBTL

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Luke: “Go fraud yourself, you motherloving”

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Luke: “God damn it!!!”

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Luke: “I dunno”

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Luke: “I know a bit more about this than I’m letting on and what I know is awesome.”

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Luke: “If you ever say anything like that to me again, I’m going to kick your ass.”

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Luke: “Let me do that again, in a way that lets people know that I know more about the donation process that I’m letting on; and, that, what I do know is awesome.”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, I am your slightly drowsy host”

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Luke: “No! No, Andrew, you knew more about that bumper sticker story than you were letting on.”

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Luke: “Saguaro”

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Luke: Saying “Is sad” a la Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows

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Luke: Saying “Just one more actor” in the style of Columbo

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Luke: Singing “Just like Pagliacci” from Smokey Robinson’s “Tears Of A Clown”

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Luke: Singing “Totino’s Pizza Roll”

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Luke: “Somebody will e-mail us”

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Luke: “That involves staying out past 9 PM, which is officially become a very late night for this little podcaster.”

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Luke: “This little podcast is called TBTL.”

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Luke: “Well, that’s about a minute and thirty seconds of your life you’ll never get back.”

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Luke: “Well, that’s about a minute and thirty seconds of your life you’ll never get back. Let’s talk about the next 59 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.”

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Luke: “Whatever newsgroup alt.wilco.earlycomputing this guy was on.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Cloondog Millionaire. Cloondog Millionaire. That’s the show title from two weeks ago.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you have any freaking weekend plans? I don’t have any freaking weekend plans right now.”

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Luke and Andrew: Doing a promo bit about the TBTL Listener Line and Luke biffs it

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, how on Earth? Or, how on Mars, really. (Heh-heh.)”

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Luke and Andrew: New Steve jobs biopic is released every two years

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Andrew: “Aaaaaahhhhhh-I love it!!!”

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Andrew: “And what he knows, is awesome.”

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Andrew: “And, this is a jam of a record.”

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Andrew: “Can you tell them to go fraud themselves?”

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Andrew: “Everything’s fine!”

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Andrew: “Heh-heh”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what saguaro is.”

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Andrew: “I don’t remember.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing “Right.”

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Andrew: “Let’s move on.”

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Andrew: “Remember back when we were actually friends and not co-workers and now we’re only co-workers, not friends?”

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah” a la Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows

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Andrew: “That’s not right. That’s not funny!”

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Andrew: “That’s on me, brother.”

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Andrew: “There you go.”

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Andrew: “There’s a verb…like I can fraud you?”

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Andrew: “Well, I, blah, blah, of course well he’s dead so he couldn’t possibly work with him anymore. The laugh is mine.”

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Andrew: “What the hell is wrong with me?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Everything’s fine!”

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Andrew and Luke: “And someday maybe, Luke, someday, Senpai, I will be. Notice me, newsletter organizer, notice me.”

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Andrew and Luke: Co-workers, Not Friends

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Andrew and Luke: “Go to AshleyMadison.com and type in the code ‘Burbank’. It’s .org now, they’re a non-profit (Oh, alright) company.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey sir, that’s our microphone! That comes out of my pay!”

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Andrew and Luke: “To Blathe. To Blathe.”

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As Luke and Andrew were jumping into one of their Top Story segments on TBTL #1965, Andrew was curious as to why Luke called the segment slug on the show’s “8 Things I Love About You”.

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When Luke finished explaining the name, Andrew then asked Luke to list the eight things that Luke loves about Andrew.

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Andrew: Andrew has not showered at all in three days

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Andrew: “Don’t be like this guy.”

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Andrew: Giggling “Yeah.”

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Andrew: “Hey wait, slow down.”

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Andrew: “Hmm.”

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Andrew: “Honestly Luke, I’m a little, I’m a little gross today.”

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Andrew: “I like it.”

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Andrew: “I’m a Blood Mary snob, by the way.”

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Andrew: “If I have a fault, it’s that I shower too much in my life.”

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Andrew: “If I was somebody who usually does not take showers, I would not be bragging about this.”

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Andrew: “Is that the end of my story? Yes.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Let’s make dream catching great again.”

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Andrew: “Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “Ohio: Meh!”

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Andrew: “Sexy fun time”

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Andrew: “So, we will be staring down the barrel of a Trebek-less Jeopardy.”

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Andrew: “Sweet.”

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Andrew: “That was weird.”

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Andrew: “We’re going God’s work.”

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Andrew: “Well, never mind. Off my game today, Luke.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can I throw something at ya? Yeah.”

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Luke: “And I just about plotzed.”

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Luke: “I shit you not! He has a motherfucking book that they are trying to sell to us that is called like ‘Your First Phone Call From Heaven’.”

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Luke: “I was hoping for my first phone call from heaven, saying ‘Come on home, Luke’; because, I didn’t want to be on this planet anymore.”

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Luke: “I’ve heard that on a, on a still day, you can almost hear the Barenaked Ladies on the wind, down here just on the US side of the US-Canadian border.”

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Luke: “Innit that weird?”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Luke doesn’t want anything to do with you if you read or liked “The First Phone Call From Heaven”

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Luke: “Luke on Luke”

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Luke: “Talk about hard locking the system”

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Luke: “This guy seems, this guy seems normal.”

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Luke: “Vancouver: It’ll Grow On You”

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Luke: “Well, for one, it had a, it had an ad for a band called ‘Shovel Dick’.”

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Luke: “What a titanic douche Alex Trebek is!”

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Luke: “You take your shower-loving ass and you point it towards Canada.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Again, Andrew. It’s all coming back. All about the Canadians today.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is the one that’s supposed to have trouble with words, not Luke

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Luke and Andrew: “But you get me up in the sky, and it’s a God damned tomato juice and ginger ale party (I know).”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, remember we weren’t gonna talk about politics? Meh.”

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Luke and Andrew: “My body is a compost pile…”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is gonna sound vehicle-ist. (Hmm.) This is gonna sound car-ist.”

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Listener Graham sent in a remixed audio clip combining the Serial introduction and music with Luke’s crime stoppering story from TBTL #1956.

Listener Graham: Serial remix with Luke’s Crime Stoppering from his hotel room of two guys trying to break into cars in a parking garage

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Andrew: Andrew just figured out Luke’s “Sass in Pockets” joke from yesterday’s show

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Andrew: “God damn it, this is gonna be an endless summer.”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to crawl too much into our heads”

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Andrew: “I love it. I love it.”

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Andrew: “Luke.”

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm.”

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Andrew: “Oh, okay. I guess I don’t know what money means.”

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Andrew: “Oh! God!”

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Andrew: Quick Inhaling Sound

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Andrew: “So, I don’t know who to root for here.”

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Andrew: “The worse the house goes, the better the podcast gets. Right?”

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Andrew: “We didn’t start the fire.”

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Andrew: “We good.”

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Andrew: “Whoopie!”

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Andrew: “Woo-hoo!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thinks Luke could be a spokesperson for Filson

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Andrew and Luke: Luke is shedding a lot… of tears

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Andrew and Luke: “Official rope giver-outer (Mmm-hmm) to Andrew-er (Yep) so he hanger himself-er?”

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Andrew and Luke: “They call that ‘white lung’. Yes! That’s the worst joke, thank you for laughing at it.”

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Luke: “A bag-related encouragement… you know.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “I defy you to find a location that has literally ten thousand spoons and not one knife. What is that, the world’s biggest TCBY?”

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Luke: “I shit you not.”

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Luke: “Let’s be honest, bro.”

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Luke: “My jam has been sufficiently pumped.”

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Luke: “Pre-cogging your laundry”

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Luke: Reciting a portion of Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”

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Luke: Reciting a portion of Barenaked Ladies’s “One Week”

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Luke: “Sure as shit, there’s some rub here.”

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Luke: “The ding-dang business card.”

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Luke: “Woo-hoo!”

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Luke: “Yes!”

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Luke and Andrew: Quoting a Space Jam trailer “The jamminest two minutes of trailer time that ever hit a theater. It’s 7.5 megs, it’s Quicktime, and it’s worth it.”

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