Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “But, may I… briefly… tell you… how we almost burned down our apartment… this weekend?”

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Andrew: “Clack-clack-clack-clack-clack!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why I’m… slipping into skepticism though”

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Andrew: “I ostentatiously put on… lipstick, at the table, and then I kiss the bill”

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Andrew: “I say ‘we’ because I don’t wanna… make it sound like I’m point fingers here; but, it was she, cuz, I didn’t have nothing to do with it… just did everything wrong, Luke”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m distracted and… blushing”

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Andrew: “Oh… that’s probably not how any of this is supposed to work”

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Andrew: “Part of the, the fun is the fear”

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Andrew: “Whatever, Dad!”

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Andrew: “Yelps!”

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Andrew: “You’re starting to get the fear”

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Andrew and Luke: “I wanna hug this show and never let it go! (That’s right)”

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Luke: “Because you’re… Funyun-naires”

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Luke: “Bip-bum-bap [ph]“

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Luke: Clearing his throat to the Donors of the Day song

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Luke: “It’s these… wack-a-doo parents!”

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Luke: “Please universe, don’t make me regret saying this… Dak Prescott just seems like a hell of a dude!”

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Luke: Saying “They’re great!” as Tony the Tiger

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Luke: “The Burnout Burger!”

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Luke: “The… big… purple… balls on him”

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Luke: “There is a guy who’s a member of the Minnesota State Supreme Court. He’s also a hall of flame… He’s also in the hall of flame, cuz he’s incredible with the barbecue”

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Luke: “Wine plus time, for Luke, equals frozen pizza”

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Andrew: “Because, I’m terrible for the planet, all around”

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Andrew: “Didn’t know you like to get wet, though”

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Andrew: “I don’t think this is the Chad’s for you, honestly”

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Andrew: “I gotta say… the nose has turned up on this a little bit”

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Andrew: “I’m just likable. You’re likable enough!”

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Andrew: “It was… the saddest thing I’ve ever seen”

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Andrew: “Naving at my own gazel [sic]“

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Andrew: Saying “Uh, you’re, you’re likable enough” as Barack Obama

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Andrew: “That’s depressing to think about”

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Andrew: “We haven’t had the mimosa talk”

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Andrew: “Wow! Wow! I love that!”

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Andrew: “You’re my fact checking cuz when it comes to Burgess Meredith”

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Andrew and Luke: “Out of my cold, dead hands will you remove this… (Sure) cat of nine tails (Yeah)”

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Luke: “Alright, let’s do a little Music for Your Weekend… before we go… before I go… just, absolutely, punish some quinoa”

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Luke: “Oh, it was easy to track you down; cuz, you’re apparently famous”

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Luke: “Old man listens to cloud”

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Luke: Saying “That’s genius work!” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: “The only solution to a bad guy with a cat of nine tails is a good guy with a cat of nine tails”

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Luke: “There was so much ‘tude!”

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Luke: “Uncle Grampa Luke”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is not the Chad’s I’m looking for? This is the not the Chad’s you’re looking for. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “Would you say your milk crates bring all the boys to the yard? Yeah!”

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Andrew: “‘Everyone’s got something to hide, except for me and my monkey’? Like, does anybody even know about this song!?”

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Andrew: “20-26-20”

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Andrew: “Anywhoozles”

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Andrew: “Good morning. I think I just got… TBTL’d”

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Andrew: “Good morning. I think I just got… TBTL’d… myself”

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Andrew: “Have you asked anybody at the hotel why it stinks?”

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Andrew: “I believe it! I believe it!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know anything about kids”

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Andrew: “I just don’t remember; because, my brain is bad!”

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Andrew: “I knew nothing!”

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Andrew: “I tried to hit the ‘Uh-oh’ button, but my fingers are too fat”

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Andrew: “I’m not the best Google sleuth”

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Andrew: “It is smooth as hell”

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Andrew: “Listen how the worm can turn”

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Andrew: “Oh… no! Boring detail!”

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Andrew: “Perfect, Walsh. Perfect”

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Andrew: “Polite lock”

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Andrew: “The ro-buts [ph] are coming for our jobs is my point, Luke”

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Andrew: “The world won’t miss it if you don’t do it”

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Andrew: “You know what it’s not terrible for? Late night secret whiskey sips”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do it as Clinton. Do it as Clinton… I’m not your puppet”

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Andrew and Luke: “I like to chug water. I like to guzzle (Yes) water”

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Andrew and Luke: “Krampus must have come eaaarrrly! (I know we were gonna end up there) Ha-haaaaa-haaa-ha-ha-haa!”

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Luke: “Boy oh boy… Luke is farting through silk there in Santa Barbara”

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Luke: “Come out to the coast! Have a few kids!”

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Luke: “It is fun to see somebody just eat absolute shit”

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Luke: “I’m gonna be honest with you… it is fun to see somebody just eat absolutely shit… when trying to do something they can’t do”

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Luke: Luke mixes up Santa Monica with Santa Barbara

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Luke: “No, I’m just farting through regular shorts”

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Luke: “Noticed it, sewer”

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Luke: “Now you have a friend in the Harrison business”

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Luke: Saying “Ain’t gonna put no banana in your tailpipe”

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Luke: Saying “Ain’t nobody gonna put no banana in the tailpipe” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: Saying “Oh, is my drummer there?” as Mick Jagger

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Luke: “The call is coming from inside the Bruce Willis”

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Luke: “They suddenly realized… they were smelling me”

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Luke: “You gotta cut me in on this salad dressing situation”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, no one is paying attention to me; and, again, it kinda hurts. Well, I’m half-listening, if that means anything”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do I say ‘Krampus’ funny? Do I say ‘Krampus’ funny?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you think kids get allowance anymore? I don’t know anything about kids”

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Luke and Andrew: “Guess what? Everyone’s zigging with this… Santa… (Mmm-hmm) I’m gonna zag with this Krampus”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have what we call, restraint. Yeah, everybody knows that”

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Luke and Andrew: “I will tell you this… that shit hidden… Yeah… It be hittin’ different. It be hidden different”

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Luke and Andrew: The fine line between Luke being embarrassed and being butthurt

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Luke and Andrew: “The water is very sulfuric in this… (It’s not the water!) That’s not what I’ve heard”

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Luke and Andrew: “We dip into the story of ranch (Oof. Wow)”

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Andrew: Accidentally played a second of a song and saying “Oh no!”

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Andrew: “And, somehow… it knows”

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Andrew: “But, listener Jeff forwarded me. Ohh! Did you hear me?”

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Andrew: “But, you gotta snap… that… ball”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. I am your father”

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Andrew: “I don’t care who you are”

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Andrew: “I don’t really have a Doug on that flight”

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Andrew: “I love it! I love this story!”

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Andrew: “I’m not like that”

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Andrew: “I’m on a seahorse diet. When I see horse, I eat it”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry I did the Star Wars thing”

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Andrew: “Let’s have a serious conversation about.. elderly… fun times here for a moment, shall we?”

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Andrew: Making the donkey braying sound at the end of the El Ropo ditty

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Andrew: “No, I reserved a car. No, I reserved a car. Where’s my car? Where’s my car?”

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Andrew: “No. I love it”

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Andrew: “Non-lethal bonking”

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Andrew: Singing “Doodle-doodle-doo! Merry Christmas”

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Luke: “I’m not taking anything, okay? Everybody relax. I’m following the rules”

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Luke: “Luke waters run deep, right?”

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Luke: Singing “Step back, you’re dancing kinda close… I feel a little poke coming through… from you”

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Luke: “What is it, Burbs?”

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Luke: “You didn’t ask me… if… if, if I gave you permission to make my nose have to experience this thing that you’re doing over there”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned regarding mentioning TBTL to Sam Sanders on Twitter

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Andrew: “And, again, I assume that there’s racism involved here too; although, I don’t know that”

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Andrew: “And, then, that’s where I get cranky again”

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Andrew: “Do you know that I’m living in a house divided now, when it comes to hummus?”

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Andrew: “He literally might have been… the mofo who soaped my locker! I’ll… I’ll never know!”

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Andrew: “I mean, we can be friends; so long, as you’re not doing that to my garbage can”

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Andrew: “I’m a DITH Lord”

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Andrew: “I’m so excited about this snack conversation!”

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Andrew: “It’s so salty, it’s so good!”

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “That’s something that I fantasize about a lot because I’m an adult”

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Andrew: “This would’ve been p…re-Seinfeld?”

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Andrew: “We’re a Sabra family”

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Andrew: “We’re still just spoofing around”

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Andrew: “You can’t let your dog shit in the mail room! Jesus!”

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Andrew: “Your poop is not my problem!”

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Andrew: “Your poop is not my problem! Your poop is not my problem!”

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Andrew: “Your poop is not my problem. Your poop is not my problem! Your poop is not my problem!”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s like a real Agatha Piss-tie… mystery here (Oh!)”

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Luke: “Don’t let your dog shit in the mail room”

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Luke: “I am just nervous about having rocking breath all day”

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Luke: “I hate to say it; it was kinda cool”

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Luke: “I think I have been, kind of, casually making the world a worse place with my gum… tossing”

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Luke: “I… chew a lotta gum… See previous comments”

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Luke: “If you want banal… we got it! That’s the good news”

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Luke: “Stop!”

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Luke: “What you actually are now is you’re a couple of DITHs”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned for buying CrankyYandy.com (and CrankyAndy.com)

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Luke and Andrew: Luke stepped in some dog poop in the mail room of his building and Andrew was having none of it

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Luke and Andrew: “You know… just little turds out there. No!!”

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