Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “A real Peter Sagal over here”

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Andrew: “And, you don’t believe in a God”

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Andrew: “God, it’s nice here! I might move in”

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Andrew: “Hey, one of the hosts is here!”

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Andrew: “How to be a pod man?”

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Andrew: “I don’t care what you do”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man. I’m just Catholic, right? I grew up Catholic”

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Andrew: “In real life, I don’t want that!”

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Andrew: “No! No, I would not like to be a speaker in this room!”

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Andrew: “See ya tomorrow, Bub!”

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Andrew: “This might come off as sounding weird”

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Andrew: “Unicorn… mind… exploding”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sorry, Ezra. No, it wasn’t Ezra… But… Ezra did make sure to get… (Is it someone who’s better than Ezra?) him and his brother’s art back”

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Andrew and Luke: “They’re at .500, (Yeah) baby!”

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Luke: “Ay, over here! Where’s the gabagool?”

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Luke: “Couch”

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Luke: “This is a very self-centered dude”

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Andrew: “Don’t drive like my tow truck driver”

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Andrew: “Frankly, I don’t enjoy being nice”

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Andrew: “I had just filled it with gas”

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Andrew: “I love juice!”

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Andrew: “I’m not just saying that to be nice; cuz, frankly, I don’t enjoy being nice”

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Andrew: “Oh, darn! It’s gonna be a warm trip with no air conditioning”

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Andrew: “Oh, darn!”

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Andrew: “Oh, it’s gonna be a hot ride”

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Andrew: Saying “But, I stubbed my finger” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “Bird, bird, bird, bird is the word!” in a mocking manner

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Andrew: “Ten seconds of us seeing this juice pouring out from the thing”

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Andrew: “Was it getting hot underneath your bottom?”

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Listener ???: Singing “Splooch… the Diarrhea Turtle, lives in Australia”

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Luke: “How many Splooch Coins do we need to get the… Mitsubishi fixed?”

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Luke: “I got a dude butthole!”

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Luke: “If you could just help us splooge over the line”

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Luke: “Splooch!!!”

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Luke: “THTL: Too Hot to Live”

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Luke: “Welcome everyone… to a Friday edition of TBTL… The show… that was almost… Too Beautiful to Live (Hey, wha’ happened?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I love you Andrew; and, we would not be able to do this show… I hate, (without you) I hate it when you start sentences like this. This is never good”

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Mary Holden: “Annie, you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you would be… Unless you are hungry or have to pee”

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Mary Holden: “What about a minty flavor in that region of the body?”

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Andrew: “Also, I think I’m probably dying”

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Andrew: “Drops of Sploochiter”

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Andrew: “Everything seems… to… be work…ing. Why does that make us so nervous?”

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Andrew: “Hey, fitness app. I’m going on a walk; so, track me”

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Andrew: “I almost just had a heart attack right now”

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Andrew: “I have a new symptom that keeps popping up in my life… it’s thin fingernails”

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Andrew: “I have regrets about literally everything”

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Andrew: “I like my cased meats in buckets”

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Andrew: “I love that thing”

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Andrew: “I stick my fingertips in the gyro before I eat it”

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Andrew: “I thought this… was interesting. I dunno if it is now that… it’s coming out of my mouth”

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Andrew: “I, I have turned. This e-mail, last night, as turned me”

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Andrew: “Matt is good dog dads. Matt is good dog dads!”

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Andrew: “No, I’m just brain dead”

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Andrew: “Now, you have to make Luke be nice to me”

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Andrew: “Sabatage [ph] the system”

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Andrew: “Was that too public radio… pitchy?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Although, of the things to pee on you, I’d probably choose an insect… Right; but, how about I choose nothing peeing on me? That’s, if that’s an option, I’ll take that too”

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Andrew and Luke: Blue Spruce, Spruce Goose and Splooch Grooch

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Andrew and Luke: “I stick my fingertips in the gyro before I eat it and massage it with all the tzatziki sauce. That’s what, that’s what doctors recommend. That’s right”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay… golden showers aside, (Whoa!!) is part of you… I’m so sorry, Ezra”

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Andrew and Luke: “Something happened in that conversation that gave me a weird feeling, Luke. Do you know what it is? No”

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Andrew and Luke: “This song is called ‘Bone to the Bad’. Yep!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re a Dazzling Donor, you can (Yes) do whatever the heck you want. I was just teasing a little bit… Just a little tease there. (Please, please) Just a tiny, little tweak (please)”

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Luke: “One of the first things I stopped eating was rats”

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Luke: Singing “They like cute as hell”

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Luke: “Their pee falls on the ground… like a gentle rain shower”

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Luke and Andrew: “My question to you, Andrew… is… did that… offend you when I said that? And, if so… or, even if it didn’t, I’m sorry. Because, I am not trying to flex on you, bro… I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. What was that? Wow. You… Honestly… (Where’s my promotion?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “TBTL isn’t so much… a geographic place, Andrew. It’s a state of mind. It’s a place in our hearts! That’s right; and, the (Yeah) hearts of the listeners”

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Andrew: “Catching the jazziness”

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Andrew: “Caveats galore”

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Andrew: “Hmmmmm!!”

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Andrew: “How is it that we have a piece of equipment… that only works when it’s turned off; and, when I turn it on… everything goes haywire? I don’t understand it… I accept it… and, I’m ready to move on”

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Andrew: “I was gonna say, you just saw the worst of me”

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Andrew: “I wish I had not brought it up”

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Andrew: “Listen, I will be the first one to say that I am confused by all of this; potentially, the most confused by all of this. And, I don’t know what I’m talking about”

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Andrew: Making a Marge Simpson-like growl

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Andrew: “No regerts”

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Andrew: Saying “Stop hollering at me” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Shoulda gone to the bathroom”

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Andrew: “So, that is the Sound Machine that keeps on yelping at me”

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Andrew: “Splooch, indeed!”

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Andrew: “That’s Fortuna, bro!”

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Andrew: “The axis of no fun!”

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Andrew: “Without Larrimah, there’s no Splooch!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, those children have potty mouths and they taught me all of these (Yeah) words. They’ve grown up now”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re obsessed with this lateness thing. You were saying, you were implying that it was my fault that we were off to a late start; because, I… prioritized the video in the wrong way. And, I’m just (God, it takes so little to… trigger you!) saying that maybe… Anyway”

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Luke: “I would eat your burned grilled cheese”

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Luke: “Isn’t it more fun not knowing?”

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Luke: “It was serious… elf time”

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Luke: “Lord willing and if the Delica makes it”

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Luke: Singing “You light the fire… I forget the rest of the words”

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Luke: “Take that, Iran!”

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Luke: “Way to dox me”

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Luke: “Well… co-bro Andy with the possibility of becoming co-host Andy”

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Luke: “What the fuck happened to our signs?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Get your mind out of the gutter… You people are filthy”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t wanna be mean… I’ll be mean… What do ya wanna, what do ya wanna mean about? I’ll be mean about it for ya”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s 7:15. I’m, best-case scenario, a half-hour… run from… our hotel… and, also… am clenching… (Mmm-hmm) my… bunghole the entire… run… back”

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Luke and Andrew: “My big plan was for us to bestow our signs on to some people… Right. Well, somebody bestowed themselves. Somebody be-stoled them!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We get it. You have to shit… We get it. You’ve been holding it in the whole show… Honestly, my only regret is bringing that up!”

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Andrew: “And, also, you know me, I go for the case meats [sic]“

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Andrew: “And, you know, I’m Catholic, so I love penance”

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Andrew: “But, you’re the most paranoid person I’ve ever met; and, it sickens me!”

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Andrew: “But… to the… buttfaces”

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Andrew: “Bwaah-pwaah!”

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Andrew: “Good Lord, did I jinx it! I no idea how badly I was jinxing it!”

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Andrew: “Good Lord, did I jinx it!”

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Andrew: “Ha-ha-ha. That’s funny. Podcast delivery, and there’s a phone number. I’m gonna steal it”

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Andrew: “I didn’t hit the right button”

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Andrew: “I have a feeling this one… could be my fault; but, I don’t see how”

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Andrew: “I’m angry… swears are coming out”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna be sniffing out some sausages”

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Andrew: “I’m not cool with this, man… Leave our signs alone! Like, what are you doing!? They were brand new!”

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Andrew: “Language!!”

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Andrew: Making a Marsupial Gurgle sound

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Andrew: Making a Marsupial Gurgle sound #2

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Andrew: Making a series of Marsupial Gurgle sounds

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Andrew: “Now, we’re done being Engineer Andy. Now, it’s time to be Host Andy”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! I don’t know what’s happening”

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Andrew: “They were only, like, 3 hours old!! The signs were so new! We never even got to play with them!”

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Andrew: “This is the little, blue… handheld sign machine”

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Andrew: “This is… another layer of irony, I think”

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Andrew: “We’ll cut it out of your memories. We have the technology”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, to the asshole or (Ooh!) assholes, (Whoa!) who–I’m sorry. I said, ‘earmuffs'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Earmuffs again, kids… kids everywhere… Yeah… I’m angry… swears are coming out”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m giving a durian… to the people who stole our signs. Nice!”

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Luke: “And, this guy… is… tripping balls”

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Luke: “Classic buttface?”

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Luke: “Don’t lab-splain this to me, Ian”

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Luke: “I’m incompetent; but, I’m not this incompetent”

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Luke: “Oh, no!!!”

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Luke: “Pwning their nuts”

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Luke: “See if you can find the point at which Luke got a little drunk”

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Luke: “The actual cradle of the Burbs”

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Luke: “Thumbs down for rock ‘n’ roll!”

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Luke: “We da best!!!”

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Luke: “What’s the name of this neighborhood? He’s joining me from the No Idea neighborhood of Corvallis, Oregon”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke repeatedly playing “I say, I say… wassup dog?” on the TBTL sound machine and Andrew saying “Remix!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Thank you for not blowing… our, our canopy over; cuz, we would’ve been… just fucked! Language!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “The right way to be? Right… But… And, wrong way to rock”

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Luke and Andrew: “You were ripshit. I’m still ripshit. (You were so mad!) What do you mean, ‘were’!?”

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