Andrew: Andrew’s face becomes a dour or grumpy, bearded face when he gets nervous and doesn’t think about his face
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Andrew: “Before… my regrettable Bukowski days”
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Andrew: “Heh. People are gonna laugh at me”
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Andrew: “I don’t know, man… I, I wanna, I wanna get to Mississippi alive; but, I also don’t wanna be, like, ‘Well, we tried. We hitchhiked twenty miles; and, now, rain came… and, so, we rented a car. And, we drove to Mississippi.’ That doesn’t seem right”
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Andrew: “I got a sucker!”
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Andrew: “It’s a dour, fricking face, man. It is a, it is a grumpy, bearded face”
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Andrew: “It’s sexy!”
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Andrew: Making jazz trumpet sounds
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Andrew: “Wait, wait. Nobody’s gonna pick up a trollish looking guy whose grimacing at them through his steamy glasses”
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Andrew: “We are going to stink that bus up!”
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Andrew: “We can stay at the… Pink Eye Express”
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Andrew: “We still have to rough it a little bit”
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Andrew: “You know what the funny thing is? It’s not funny”
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Andrew and Kristina Lopez: “Mark Twain’s great; but… are there any other workaholic actors who were born there? Unfortunately, no. There are not any other workaholic actors”
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Andrew and Luke: “Enough about them! Back to us. Thank you”
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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, there are hitchhikers ahead… and, I’m feeling… I’m feeling ballsy… TBTL!”
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Andrew and Luke: It’s not a road trip if Andrew doesn’t bring a lot of cased meats with him
Kristina Lopez: “Alright. I’m ready”
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Kristina Lopez: Laughing and saying “Oh, man. Why?”
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Luke: “And, I also hope they have snacks… cuz, I’m starving. Like, what’s the food service on a–I mean, also, by the way… do they care that I’m Alaska Gold 75K?”
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Luke: “Because, we may actually be here in Waterloo for a long time. We’re not… quite… sure”
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Luke: “Digstown!? What are you talking about?”
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Luke: “Every once in a while… you go and do something and totally redeem yourself!”
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Luke: “Get in!”
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Luke: “God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”
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Luke: “Hey! Is this a thing?”
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Luke: “Hot wings and cold jazz”
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Luke: “I’ve never seen him more excited for anything… He is excited about this Greyhound bus ride”
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Luke: “Kiki… we asked you to be our travel advisor… not the voice of reason. That’s by far, by far and away, the most intelligent and… and useful thing… that’s been said on the show… maybe in years”
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Luke: “Please be open, please be open”
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Luke: “Rinsta… finsta and spam”
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Luke: Singing “TBTL!”
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Luke: “Speak for yourself, dirty hitchhiker”
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Luke: “That’s nuts!”
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Luke: “The heat was rough!”
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Luke: “This is… hardcore honeymoon town; and, we’re going, bro”
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Luke: “What!!?!”
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Luke: “Yes, Virginia… there is a Denver, Iowa”
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Luke and Andrew: “And, he’s got more problems than just the incoming flash flooding and lightning here in Iowa… (Oh… my… God. I have a sesame stick problem) He is Andrew Walsh; and, he is joins us now from… about… eight inches away. Hello, my dude… Hey, man… I was really hoping that drop would never see the light of day. I saw that Linh Pham had sent that to you; but… here we are”
Luke and Andrew: “And, seriously, never do that again! Yeah… Peace and love”
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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just so privileged in my real life. I never have to be doing anything I don’t wanna be doing… or, be… physically super uncomfortable for very long at all. I always have an out. Mmm-hmm”
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Luke and Andrew: “Just drop us off anywhere along here… along one of these fields is fine. And, she’s like, ‘Okay.’ And, then, Andrew goes, ‘But, but somewhere where I can go to the bathroom.’ But, I didn’t mean, take me to a… a proper restroom. I just meant… if we could get away from the soybeans and just get into those bushes up ahead… God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”
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Luke and Andrew: Luke is late for almost everything but he draws the line at his own funeral
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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Put on a broadside ballad! Do you have… Flat Foot Floogie?!” and Andrew making jazz trumpet sounds
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Luke and Andrew: “Whoa!!!”
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Luke and Andrew: “Why must we suffer? Yeah; because, I think we said we were gonna suffer. I don’t know… Maybe, this is my Catholic upbringing”
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