Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “God, I hope those sons of guns are still there when I get there”

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Andrew: “He checks out my lemon drops”

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Andrew: “I am a man of a… certain girth”

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Andrew: “I can become grumbly Andrew pretty quickly”

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Andrew: “I get the wheels on my feet. That’s what I’m gonna call them now”

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Andrew: “I had a real dirtbag weekend”

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Andrew: “I only know how to jog with wheels on my feet”

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Andrew: “I’m not arguing with you here!”

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Andrew: “I’m not ready for that jelly. I’m not ready for that jelly on a, on a good day!”

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Andrew: “I’m taking over the jukebox now. It’s gonna get really gay in here! I’m playing the gayest songs on the jukebox!”

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Andrew: “I’ve always been here, Genevieve”

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Andrew: “If you wanna… bug out early, bug out early”

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Andrew: “Is there any truth to this?”

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Andrew: “No, you’re a stinky butt… Get outta here, you stinky butt”

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Andrew: “Not my problem”

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Andrew: “Oh my God; I’m so hungover right now”

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Andrew: “Oh, Andrew”

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Andrew: “Oh… you seem… really likable. You seem… really likable”

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Andrew: “Ooh!”

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Andrew: “Ooh! I am… unsteady this morning”

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Andrew: “This is gonna be gross; but, I like sweating”

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Andrew: “What is going on… with Fatty McGee over here?”

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Andrew: “What the hell am I doing?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, my brother’s fucking nuts!”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, there’s one… one piece of somewhat negative news… regarding this, I have to tell you; and, you’re involved… (Okay… Ooh) Yeah… it involves you”

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Andrew and Luke: Joke grenades

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Luke: “Crouching Kelly, Hidden Shawna”

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Luke: “I am the world’s biggest self-plagiarist”

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Luke: “I don’t even have a chance with that”

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Luke: “I’m just looking at a piece of crap on the wall”

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Luke: “Once that little piece of sand burrows its way into the… oyster that is your brain, it’s gonna create a pearl of anxiety”

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Luke: “This is everything I love!”

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Luke: “You know, you go into war with the jokes you have, Andrew, not the… So, anyway”

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Andrew: “Go! Go! This is what you trained for! Take it! Take it! Something opened up!”

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Andrew: “I am afraid I cannot edit as I talk”

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Andrew: “It’s a miracle!”

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Andrew: Making funny thinking sounds

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Andrew: “Sorry, I was kind of ignoring you during that intro. I realize that’s kind of rude”

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Andrew: “The math isn’t there… The math isn’t there!!”

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Andrew: “What’s hiding in the leaves that can hurt me?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m dinging for two (Eww)”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “It’s a ladies’ fund. It’s a ladies’ fund!” in an Australian accent

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Luke: “Attempted rim touching”

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Luke: “Ding it for both of us”

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Luke: Doing his version of the Jaws shark approaching notes

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Luke: “Going to the Burger King to poop. That’s what, that’s what love is”

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Luke: “I really Shatner’d your bathroom up”

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Luke: “I’m always on some bullshit”

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Luke: “Lay off the drops, Burbs”

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Luke: “My host brain was spinning… so hard… the whole show”

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Luke: “Not your circus, not your monkeys. Nobody needs your help; just… stay in your line, Burbs”

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Luke: “Oh, you… I can’t quit you”

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Luke: “Old… Shady B”

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Luke: “Olivia… cover your ears… We’re screwed”

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Luke: Saying “I didn’t do it… I don’t know how this happened”

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Luke: “So, we’ve decided you’re Rubbermaid Girl”

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Luke: “Sorry about that. There was kinda a frenzy in your bathroom… You wanna keep that door close for a hot minute”

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Luke: “Try to touch the rim”

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Luke: “Whatever you wanna do, Quadzilla”

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Luke: “Would you consider becoming a VSCO boy?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke describing the toe nail clipping mess and Andrew is squicking out

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Luke and Andrew: “You gotta love it, right? You know this is a Box Tops cover, right? You know what? This interview is over!”

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Andrew: “Are you Jonathan Hoogeman? [ph]“

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Andrew: “I can keep my shit together with you”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I have a brain like yours”

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Andrew: “I know I’m lying to myself. That shit… get… it’s just… gone”

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Andrew: “I know that! I’m not an idiot!”

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Andrew: Imitating a bike horn

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Andrew: “Mom! Where’s the turkey?”

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Andrew: Saying “It’s my birthday today” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “It’s my birthday today” in a funny manner #2

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Andrew: “You’ve kinda hit digital rock bottom”

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Andrew and Luke: “GOLO! Polo!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I know that my parents, when they were together… I… I’m alright… Okay… I can get through this”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m sure I’ll be able to help… This is my wheelhouse: remembering names (Yeah. Yeah)”

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Luke: “As a borderline ‘OK Boomer’ myself”

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Luke: “For those that don’t know: I’m white”

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Luke: “I only want one… Live Wire staffer to make eye contact with me”

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Luke: “It has that Walsh ring to it”

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Luke: “It is some Pennywise shit!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Mortimer… Mortimer Featherbottom?”

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Luke: “Oh my Gus”

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Luke: “Oh shit!”

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Luke: Saying “Lady bong” in an Australian accent

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Luke: Singing “Since my baby left me”

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Luke: Singing “These are my people. They are the ones”

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Luke: Singing his own version of “Baby Shark”

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Luke: “What a shitty Rennsday that was”

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Luke: “What were we Googling… last year?”

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Luke: “White people couldn’t pronounce it correctly”

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Luke: “Who Googles the Googler?”

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Luke: “Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this right now?”

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Luke: “Yeah, daddy. ¡Ay, papi!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Apparently… Apparently. All you–All youz do is get hacked if you got a Ring… system”

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Andrew: “Aha. You know what you’re doing. Sorry to interrupt”

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Andrew: “Andrew the Skate King”

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Andrew: “But, you know me. I live for ‘atta-boy’s”

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Andrew: “Hey… Don’t dunk on me”

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Andrew: “I also have eczema. So, sorry ladies”

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Andrew: “I think you just HIPAA violated yourself, by the way”

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Andrew: “I’m a human being”

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Andrew: “It was ‘atta-boy’ on top of ‘atta-boy’ on top of ‘atta-boy'”

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Andrew: “It’s a three part… it’s a three part process, Luke. Don’t get it twisted… You go from boom to scissor to… what is the last… boom, scissor, brake?”

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Andrew: “Jesus Christ!”

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Andrew: “My only regret is that… I have secrets”

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Andrew: “Okay. I’d milk a pigeon”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Stüssy, baby!”

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Andrew: “What am I doing?”

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Andrew: “Why you messing with these birds?”

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Andrew: “You were a hot teenager”

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Andrew and Luke: “What is driving you more crazy… your pink eye or drop situation? I don’t have pink eye. I have, what’s called, ‘stink eye’; which, I didn’t even know was a diagnosis. Hmm… Did you kiss a stink bug?”

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Luke: “And, you’re right, though. It could’ve been worse… Could’ve been butt stuff”

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Luke: “Benevolently sarcastic?”

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Luke: “Can you hear my beef castle, sort of, building?”

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Luke: “Giggity-giggity”

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Luke: “I have a system, Andrew!”

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Luke: Saying “Alright. Alright, everybody… We’ll see you tomorrow, everybody” as Kai Ryssdal

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Luke: “Something north of a nurse; but, south of a doctor”

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Luke: “They just weighed me!!”

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Luke: “Zip it, Walsh”

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Luke and Andrew: “Would you drink pigeon milk? (No!!!)”

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Andrew: “But, I need to cough”

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Andrew: “Eye boogers”

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Andrew: “I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it’s true. I don’t know. But, that, that’s weird”

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Andrew: “I just had a shiver of a memory of something embarrassing I said or did… and, then, immediately remembered it was a dream I had last night”

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Andrew: “I was looking right at it and not seeing it”

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Andrew: “I’m not a hypocrite”

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Andrew: “I’m not good enough for that kind of spoof; although, I wish I was”

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Andrew: “It does not bother me”

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Andrew: “It is… fascinating!”

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Andrew: “Luke… I’m sorry about this”

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Andrew: “Nothing you said su…rprises me, I guess… Nothing you ever say surprises me, Luke; and, that’s the problem with this show”

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Andrew: Singing “Long, long time ago”

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Andrew: “Sweet, sweet fluffy cat, man”

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Andrew: “The listeners will… kill me”

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Andrew: “This is a… personal question, so you don’t have to answer it; but, were you kissing any DeNiros yesterday? Did you make out with a DeNiro, or anything? Or, were you… were you watching over a daycare center full of DeNiros? Any contact with any DeNiros?”

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Andrew: “This one’s on me”

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Luke: “Have an opinion, jerk”

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Luke: “How… sad for you”

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Luke: “I, also, am one of those weirdos”

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Luke: “I’m dealing with a lot this morning, Andrew… These… this is the list of things I’m dealing with”

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Luke: Singing “It’s my doc in a box”

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Luke: Singing “That’s what friends are for”

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Luke: “What… kind of an operation are you running?”

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Luke: Whispering “I work here”

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Luke and Andrew: “How about you kiss a potato like a normal person? (Yeah)”

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