Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “And, I think I was feeling mostly booty”

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Andrew: “And, I think I was feeling mostly booty… and, because I was so booty this morning”

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Andrew: “Booty slide”

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Andrew: “But, XBOX is kinda bullshit. It’s a Microsoft product”

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Andrew: “Can we, maybe, start every show by saying, like, what was our best booty moment of the day before?”

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Andrew: “Cash only, twenty bucks… Cash only… Cash only!”

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Andrew: “Dinking around… on his boop-boop”

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Andrew: “Hey now… leave my mom’s booty out of this”

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Andrew: “‘I had the booty and the body down for years’, she says. ‘But, once I discovered ‘breath’… it came full circle. Now, I feel empowered and completed fulfilled: mind, body… and soul'”

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Andrew: “I had the booty and the body down for years”

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Andrew: “I just wrote down nothing. I wrote down nothing!”

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Andrew: “I still left in some of the fascinating facts”

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Andrew: “It’s a dirty joke”

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Andrew: “It’s not… good”

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Andrew: “Just occurred to me, this might be one of those songs that gives you the bad feeling”

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Andrew: Mimicking the “Uh-oh” drop

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Andrew: “Now, where are the cookies?”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! You guys get him too!”

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Andrew: “The Postest with the Mostest”

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Andrew: “Well, not to get all… Seinfeld-y here”

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Andrew and Luke: “Laurel. Did you say, ‘Yanni’? I might have (All I could hear was ‘Yanni’)”

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Luke: “If you forget your child’s age, you might be… an old guy”

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Luke: “Laters!”

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Luke: “Maybe we could start pulling in some of that sweet, sweet… Fortnite cheddar”

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Luke: “Not to be confused with… booty!”

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Luke: “The River of Booties”

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Luke: “This is not inappropriate, I don’t think”

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Luke: “You put pork chop on a, on the end of a fishing line and then you cast it over the barrier into a lion’s cage… of my mind”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, just once a week, I like to check in, I like to do some breath work, (Mmm-hmm) some booty work, and some body work… (Mmm-hmm) and, just listen to the soulful sounds of Tim Heidecker on the bass; and, it really centers me”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you know this song by Tim Wilson? No; but, it’s wonderful! What the hell is this?”

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Luke and Andrew: Top Stories went by really quickly and could be called “The River of Booties”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what, Andrew? It really comes down to a couple of things for me… breath… (Mmm-hmm) and booty (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’ve fallen right into my elegant trap; which is… (Uh-huh) all of the things you just said will make… beautiful intro tape for you at some point… I hate you… By my trap, I mean, our friend Linh’s trap (I… hate both of you)”

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Andrew: “Because, that guy’s a monster!!”

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Andrew: “Chances are, my night is blown”

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Andrew: Describing a “True Crimes”-style podcast in which the two podcasters are committing true crimes

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Andrew: “Everybody who opens up for her is a white dude who is… sexist… as hell! Like, I couldn’t believe it!”

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Andrew: “I couldn’t believe it!”

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Andrew: “I did some light Googling”

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Andrew: “I don’t know… I don’t know!”

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Andrew: “I know that we had the Yakov talk”

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Andrew: “I’m a naive babe in the woods”

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Andrew: “It rains… It rains… and it washes… it washes the grime off the streets”

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Andrew: “It’s called a three-sixty review, I believe”

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Andrew: “Just a small, little, good news story from the… from the annals… of… Andy-town”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Luke Burbank’s 2018 estimated net worth is… ‘Under Review’. Compared to… ‘Under Review’ in 2017… Congratulations, man”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. How do you have that? Oh my… How did you know that I was gonna launch into a… into a faux sexist standup bit?”

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Andrew: “Oh, you’re walking up to the line!”

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Andrew: “Queues for the loos”

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Andrew: “Taurus! Taurus!”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound really cocky… and, it was really cocky!”

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Andrew: “What the hell am I doing!? What crime am I trying to commit here?”

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Andrew: “Why the hell am I using sentences like that?”

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Andrew: “Yaki Smirnoff?”

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Andrew: “You must have these thoughts”

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Andrew and Luke: “Never… never stand on the branch you’re peeing on… That is disgusting… (Right?) That is… disgusting”

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Luke: “Don’t ask her about my wizard. You’re not gonna hear good reviews”

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Luke: “Don’t praise the reference”

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Luke: Drawn out “Nope!”

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Luke: “I’ll take one crime please, sir!”

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Luke: “I’ll take one of your finest… crimes”

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Luke: “More like… Urea Town”

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Luke: “My wife’s new birth sign is: Taurus! Taurus!”

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Luke: “Not to go all Yakov Smirnoff on it”

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Luke: “Potty parity”

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Luke: Saying “Let’s get ready to crumble!” in a drawn out manner while Andrew is talking

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Luke: Singing “I’m just a guy in the Whole Foods lot… and that’s a really polite car”

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Luke: “Sitting… the great leveler”

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Luke: “That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works”

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Luke: “They sat down and studied it… They studied it out; that’s all they did”

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Luke: “This will be in court some day”

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Luke: “What a country”

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Luke: “When a man… loves a stereotype very, very much”

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Andrew: “And, I will add one, small… boring fact”

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Andrew: “Aw, man”

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Andrew: “Boy, are we still talking about the egg?”

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Andrew: “Don’t talk to the cops”

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Andrew: Funny laugh

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Andrew: “Genevieve, shut your mouth”

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Andrew: “Good morning. We’re… we’re cooking with gas today”

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Andrew: “Harden it up, Walsh!”

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Andrew: “Hey-oh!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if this is gonna take us in a weird place”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna say something here that’s gonna sound hurtful; and, I don’t mean it to be hurtful”

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Andrew: “I’m proud to say my mug is bigger than yours”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Making some funny mouth sounds

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Andrew: Making some funny mouth sounds and saying “What was that noise?”

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Andrew: Saying “Hey, Culligan Man!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s the guy who texted me bef–at the beginning of the show!!”

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Andrew: “Whatever, egg”

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Andrew: “Yes!! It’s so scary! Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “You might have the causality kind of reverse there”

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Andrew and Luke: “I killed him! I killed him! I did it!!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Extremely online”

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Luke: “Extremely online” #2

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Luke: “He doesn’t want to be giving me five”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna be… old man yells at caloric intake”

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Luke: “I still am very dismissive of things that are extremely online”

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Luke: “I’ve got a problem; and, the only solution is… more beard on Andrew!”

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Luke: “My phone would’ve been toast”

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Luke: “My wife is… awesome. She’s such a, she’s very like… her brain is just so much… more functional than mine”

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Luke: “Ninety-nine point nine-nine-nine nine-nine percent of the time”

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Luke: Saying “Aw, dry up!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Hey there, guys… I’m waving!” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Saying “Shut your yapper!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Success… has many mothers; but, failure is an orphan”

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Luke: “The nicer I was to him… the more angry he was at me”

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Luke: “Wait a second… Wait… Wait… Hold on… Stop the… donation”

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Luke: “Why don’t you shut your yapper!”

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Luke: “Yeah, it was a weird show yesterday… hopefully, the listeners didn’t hear all of the weirdness”

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Luke: “You’re a witch!”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, what about… people, like me, who don’t salivate when they see a porta-potty? (Mmm-hmm)”

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Alarm clock sound (10 second loop)

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Alarm clock sound (30 second loop)

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Andrew: “I didn’t see this part of the movie; so, I’m on some really shaky ground here with me opining on this”

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Andrew: “I threw my damn keys away the other day!”

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Andrew: Imitating the sound of an alarm clock going off

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Andrew: “Is this happ… Ho! This is happening! Aw, shit, yes!!”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Ooh! It’s gonna be fun for everybody”

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Andrew: Saying “It is… snowy… as heck!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound whiny here for one second”

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Andrew: “This is one of the most enjoyable Super Bowls, that I didn’t care about, in a long time”

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Andrew: “What!? Are they doing… What the!?”

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Andrew: “Why did you throw us away, Andrew?”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke’s alarm clock went off while Andrew was talking

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Andrew and Luke: “So, I got up and raced into the other room like a real Speed Racer… and, I grabbed it, (Wow) and now I’m… now I’m outta breath”

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Luke: “A delicious meat soup… thing”

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Luke: “Bro… Bruh”

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Luke: “Cuddled awake… by the… wings… of the memory of an angel”

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Luke: “If you thought today’s show was boring… wait ’til you get the update on today’s show… tomorrow”

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Luke: “Leave no thermostat story behind”

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Luke: Making funny sounds

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Luke: “Remember two days ago when we started this show”

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Luke: “Stir-frying up some woohoo chicken”

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Luke: “That’s a… long and winding way of saying… I’ve got a lot going on, people. This show is… I’d say, top five of my priorities right now”

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Andrew: “Alright. We’re gonna get rid of this candy now; so, not tempt you anymore… Oh… no, we’re keeping it there. Reese… not sorry!”

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Andrew: “Every time Reader’s Digest closes a door, it opens a window”

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Andrew: “Excuse me, guys. Can I get through here? Thank you. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me”

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Andrew: “Facebook is such a pain in the ass”

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Andrew: “Fuck you!”

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Andrew: Funny, drawn out “Please”

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Andrew: “Go Rams!!”

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Andrew: “Hello, river!”

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Andrew: “I see the side of Luke’s face, everybody!”

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Andrew: “I’m all… juiced up!”

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Andrew: “It is way weirder than I thought!”

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Andrew: “It’s put a stank on him!”

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Andrew: “Look, it’s Luke!”

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Andrew: Mimicking the “Uh-oh” drop

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Andrew: “Nobody invite Luke to your Super Bowl party”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! It’s so fucking great!”

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Andrew: “Please tell me your Music For Your Weekend is… something from the soundtrack to ‘Cool Is Ice’ please”

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Andrew: Saying “Sorry, not sorry” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Talk about losing our innocence here”

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Andrew: “Thank you. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound kinda shitty… People should do what they want. Musicians should do what they want”

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Andrew: “This is how lazy I am”

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Andrew: “Which is just not my vibe at all!”

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Andrew: “Why am I, why am I just… why am I ruining your childhood with this stuff?”

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Andrew: “Yeah. Beds are burning… because, the laptop is too hot”

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Andrew: “You and I are playing some weird shit today, man!”

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Andrew and Luke: “This segment is not about me getting in between you and Reader’s Digest. Don’t make me choose; because, dude… I’m gonna choose Reader’s Digest every goddamn time. Yeah, absolutely (Okay)”

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Luke: “And, I actually lied to Carey”

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Luke: “And… don’t miss Sinbad! Why is that a gran… a grandma ain’t got no job, they always got money!? The home of Northwest entertainment”

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Luke: “Boy, now I’m really just… going deeper into this”

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Luke: “Boy, oh, boy”

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Luke: “Coming to the Emerald Queen Casino… The time has come! Midnight Oil… Opening for… Peter Frampton!”

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Luke: “Dude… nobody cares”

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Luke: “For me, Instagram is a silent movie”

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Luke: “I had a… real humiliating moment… with the… animals this morning (I say, I say, what’s up dog!)”

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Luke: “This is so entertaining to me and you, and no one else”

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Luke: “What!? I’ve never even seen those; but, man… those fill me with anger!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Honestly, my life, Andrew, my life is over! My life, as I knew it, is now over (Your life is just beginning)”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is not a C-section story; but, that… Good!”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is the best family reunion ever!! (…my God! Nobody can open fifty eggs!)”

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Andrew: “Easy, Casey Kasem”

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Andrew: “How am I forgetting already!?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know!”

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Andrew: “I was like, ‘You’re amazing!'”

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Andrew: “I’d be a scatter”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna zip through a few of these now… because, there’s just too much good stuff. There’s Toomgis going on here”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m like… not racist at all. I hate Greeks. I don’t know why”

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Andrew: “Like, it just keeps getting worse!”

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Andrew: “Mmmh?”

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Andrew: “Now I’m wondering if I will have tacos”

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Andrew: “Oh, God. I eat too much. I hate myself”

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Andrew: “Oh, man. I’m gonna take this ride for a while”

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Andrew: “Poop germs in the air… in there”

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Andrew: Saying “Aw, yeah!” in a gruff manner

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Andrew: Saying “Everybody’s gotta party!” as Fred Schneider

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Andrew: Saying “Great voice… Questionable content” as Casey Kasem

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Andrew: Scatting

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Andrew: Singing “We need a gyro!”

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Andrew: “Stupid Andrew. You didn’t need… the potatoes”

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Andrew: “The very first food picture I see… I lock on to”

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Andrew: “You were able to, kinda, side-step that shame too”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know what’s up with me! (Yeah!)”

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Luke: “Everything at this ARCO is covered in a layer of human… feces”

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Luke: “Hey, Rudy… You feeling it? You ready? You excited? None of the above? Okay… Well, I got this. Don’t worry”

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Luke: “Hot dog!! That made ’em mad”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna dance with that devil again”

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Luke: “I’ll give you an example that nobody asked for… and… I’m… totally torpedoing your segment”

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Luke: “Is it, ‘Undigested Co-Conspirator’?”

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Luke: “It sounds like, ‘Nards'”

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Luke: “It’s alls youz do… is get studied”

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Luke: “Let’s, let’s bail the ocean out with a… thimble”

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Luke: “My body is a temple”

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Luke: “Not all gyros wear capes?”

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Luke: “Once I pop, I can’t stop”

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Luke: Saying “Coming up next… it’s a song… that doesn’t hold up well” as Casey Kasem

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Luke: Singing a few notes of “Here Comes the Bride”

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Luke: Trying to hum a song while pinching his nose closed

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Luke: Trying to hum while pinching his nose closed

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Luke: Trying to hum while pinching his nose closed #2

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Luke: “We’re podcasting for two”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew scatting and when asked what instrument would he be, he would be a scatter

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Luke and Andrew: “To beat a Hitler… you’ve gotta be a Hitler… Exactly”

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Luke and Andrew: “What instrument, if you had to… (Scat) I’d be a scatter… You knew that (Yeah)”

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