Clips From TBTL #3285

Andrew: “Akron is the ‘Rubber Capital of the World’. Andrew, come on. Get it straight”

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Andrew: “And, I’m not married to anything”

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Andrew: “Do you know that I was fantasizing about shaving my face the other day? These are the fantasies of a forty-three, almost forty-four, year old man, by the way”

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Andrew: “I don’t watch the news; cuz, I’m a kid”

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Andrew: “I will happily put my stupid, fat face on the table”

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Andrew: “I will happily put my stupid, fat face on the table. It’s quarantine. Nobody’s seeing me anyway”

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Andrew: “It’s very rare that we have orgy talk while the theme music is still playing”

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Andrew: “Me-mes!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I was having an orgy”

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Andrew: Saying “I don’t know!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That was a special memer [sic]

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Andrew: “That was a special memer [sic]” #2

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Andrew: “That’s not America!”

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Andrew: “This is one of those me-me things”

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Andrew: “This isn’t a good place for anything”

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Andrew: “This skin has not seen… daylight in a very long time”

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Andrew: “This skin has not seen… daylight in a very long time. God, this is such a disgusting way to start the show. Sorry, everybody”

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Andrew: “Well, he did it… Maybe, I can do it too”

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Andrew: “When I’m rollin’, I’m rollin’ on Les Schwab tires”

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Andrew: “You seemed… so worried to know where I was when I having these thoughts”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I got inspired for a second. And, then, reality hit me. And, I remembered what happened to the people around me the last time I shaved; which, was… they were very uncomfortable with… all of the amount of flesh… that I was exposing. (Wait. Who were the people around you?)”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew played the NPR election intro theme instead of the current segment audio drop

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Luke: “Can you imagine going to sleep for four months? I mean, I can… I would do it right now”

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Luke: “Champion sweats… Everlane sweatshirt… Acorn… knitted… warm slippers… from my mother-in-law… I’m feeling good, y’all”

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Luke: “Fuck it. I will delete my Twitter account… if Trump concedes tonight on November 3rd, 2020”

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Luke: “He looked so young, Andrew!”

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Luke: “I am the one who plays the… Donors of the Day music”

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Luke: “I don’t know what to do with my eyeballs if I’m not looking at Twitter, or the New York Times, or CNN”

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Luke: “I get by with a little help from my friends. Way off, Burbank”

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Luke: “I just need, like, ten minutes to be very full of rage; and, then, the rest of the show is just gonna be… like… like a zen water feature. Just gonna be relaxing and we’re gonna feel real good”

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Luke: “I mean: coffee… hot water… beans!”

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Luke: “I was ripshit at Ringo Starr last night”

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Luke: “I’s just yakking on a bone!”

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Luke: “I’ve decided that I am just gonna keep it… comfy”

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Luke: “No! It’s terrifying!”

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Luke: “Nobody tell Totenberg. It’ll be fine”

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Luke: “We’re looking for a Blucifer wave today… Andrew”

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Luke: “Yas, Ring!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Imagine waking up tomorrow… I don’t have Twitter. You don’t have a beard… We don’t have a Trump… God! What a Wednesday that would be. What a world”

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Luke and Andrew: “Sharp tiger teeth! Yeah… And… sharp tiger talons!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ve now moved into heavy… heavy jinx vibrations (Yeah)”

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