Tag: Andrew Walsh

Luke: “Coming to you today from the Hilton Caribe in San Juan, Puerto Rico, looking out on the beautiful… Is it the Atlantic Ocean? I didn’t do a ton of research before I came down here, people.”

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Luke: “Everybody on this island pretty much has to speak some amount of English; because, that’s the fucking way of the world. And, I can just go to the Starbucks and order a, you know, coffee like I normally have it, and everything’s fine in my world.”

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Luke: “Hola. ¿Qué tal?”

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Luke: “¡Hola, Daddy Yankee! Tu Inglés es major de mi Español.”

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Luke: “I guess I figured that m–because, I’m an idiot.”

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Luke: “I should just speak English and own it”

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Luke: “I, somehow, chose the third rail of podcasting”

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Luke: “I’m Andre Agassi-balding”

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Luke: “I’m sure I can go get some special cards made up that, that just say, ‘Hola,’ and then, in English, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s all the Spanish that I speak'”

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Luke: “I’m trying from the Bartman of my heart to make this Trump segment work, Andrew.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, by the way. I’m allegedly your host.”

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Luke: “No, no wig-shaming here”

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Luke: Singing “Boricua, moreno, boricua, moreno”

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Luke: Singing “Morena, boricua, morena, boricua”

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Luke: “This is fine. This is–everything’s okay. This is fine.”

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Luke: “Tu Inglés es major de mi Español”

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Luke: “Where do you guys, where do you keep the Starbucks around here?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hair on, glasses off. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I do have some complicated feelings about certain elements of being down here. Is, is it the lack of white people, Luke? Because, that’s straight up racist.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just to wrap this whole dumb thing up; I think what it is, is I have this low-level underlying feeling of guilt that someone else had to learn English. Hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is describing someone that is like Andrew

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Luke and Andrew: Painting Bald Spot and Boiling Toupée

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Luke and Andrew: “This hotel that I’m in, it’s sort of shabby-sheik, hold the sheik. Mmm-kay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You just keep digging. Wait, hold on, keep digging. I’m gonna get to China soon; where, I’m gonna greet everybody by saying ‘Hola’ and then having to slowly reveal that I don’t speak Cantonese.”

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Andrew: “And, when they missed that kick, I was on my knees like a soccer player skidding across the floor, like screaming and yelling”

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Andrew: “Hey, did ya guys all watch the football game!?”

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Andrew: “Hey! You know what it’s like to be me!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Making mouth sounds

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Andrew: “No, I didn’t.”

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Andrew: “Or, say from the Bart–from the Bartman of our hearts again; cuz, I can’t get enough of that shit.”

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Andrew: “Paint your bald spot?”

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Andrew: “People are gonna like it. It’s very lion-esque”

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Andrew: Saying “Do you like football?” slowly and loudly

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Andrew: Saying “Verbiage” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Shine hard wig-shaming”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “Thank you from the Bartman of our hearts!”

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Andrew: “That was me doing me”

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Andrew: “What I was about to say, it sounds awful”

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Andrew and Luke: “Uh, we’re gonna win the ring in tw–Don’t do that. Do not, please, do not do that to the listeners. Super Bowl Twenty-Four… Teen. So, yeah. Two years old.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You truly are our Bartmen. I was gonna say, thanks from the Bart-tom of our hearts. I’m sorry, I stepped on your joke!”

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A listener left a voicemail in a David Attenborough-esque manner (with a hint of an Australian accent) about finding Andrew Walsh in his natural habitat of the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, Washington

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Luke: “And he said, ‘Clever girl'”

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Luke: “Eventually they are chopped, bro. And, screwed.”

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Luke: Giggling “It was like”

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Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster”

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Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster; although, he has, thankfully, agreed to accept the results of this podcast… if he wins.”

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Luke: “He of the octogenarian, sky diving habit”

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Luke: “His name is Andrew… huhhh… Walsh”

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Luke: “I also wrote this on, on Tweeter”

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Luke: “I decided, I’m gonna pull an Andrew”

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Luke: “I think it’s a great honor to these listeners to be our Bartman level donors of the day”

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Luke: “I think we’re on a, a real hot streak of late”

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Luke: If Luke were a monkey

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Luke: “Is it your civic duty to vote? I’m not actually sure.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke would kill to become a 60 Minutes correspondent

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Luke: “‘Oh, I’m sorry, is that Chris Hayes’s contact info in my phone?’ casually”

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Luke: “Oh, really? Now we’re not friends?”

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Luke: Saying “Only in New York, my friend” in a nasally manner

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Luke: Saying “That’s the, that’s the best tasting pickle I’ve ever heard” as the Vlasic Stork

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Luke: “Tell ’em The Bone sent ya”

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Luke: “That’s a bridge too far”

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Luke: “The loons, Norman! The, the salads, Norman!”

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Luke: “You wanna be on our podcast?

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Luke: “You won’t like this, Andrew; but, normals will.”

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Luke and Andrew: “He is known primarily for his drawings of tall ships and he joins us from the Wallingford neighborhood (Wrong!) of Seattle, Washington. Not true!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Here’s a thing, kids: If you go all the way down the ladder, you’ll have a fun explosion; and, then, you’ll have a baby when you’re seventeen. Gross.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I am so turned on right now. I know, this is the hottest! This is TBTL: After Dark”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know you that way! (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I know our show is Internet-based… Both, while we do it and where people get it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I went with… Jiminy Walsh. See, I don’t like, I don’t wanna be that. I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would never fly in the South NOBS district. No, no, it would not.”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing and saying “How would we get there? I don’t know”

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Luke and Andrew: Tunify and Tuna Sandwiches

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Luke and Andrew: “You guys could have had a cow when you heard us asking for donations during the most recent TBTL-a-thon. But, you didn’t man! You didn’t.”

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Andrew: “Ahh, they’re all a bunch of crooks!”

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Andrew: “All of the jacks on the machines are jacked up, appropriately enough”

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Andrew: “But, I’m more of a Seattle guy”

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Andrew: “By the way, quick, quick, quick aside… you miss New York!”

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Andrew: “Cowabunga”

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Andrew: Dominican Republican

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Andrew: “Fuck. What did we talk about?”

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Andrew: “Hey, did you watch that debate last night? Cuz, if not, it would be weird.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why kids are talking like this in Ohio; but, they are!”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of thinking to do”

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Andrew: “I just don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

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Andrew: “I still don’t know why it’s called a ‘hand grenade ladder’!”

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Andrew: “It’ll be very much tomorrow’s salad today”

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Andrew: “It’s got the thing over the N”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let’s go more biblical”

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Andrew: “No offense, Donovan”

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Andrew: “Nope, it’s not in Spotify; so, thank God for that.”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, politics. That’s how they get ya!”

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Andrew: “Ooh God, I remember my first arm-around.”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “It’s kinky”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “So much to say!”

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Andrew: Singing “U-N-I-T-Y”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “There’s no good that comes of this”

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Andrew: “They’re all crooks!”

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Andrew: “Was this salad chopped and screwed? That’s how I’m gonna talk.”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “Whatever”

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Andrew: “Yes! Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Does this story end with you staring at a tree and crying? No, Andrew!”

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Andrew and Luke: North of the Burrito Shop or NOBS

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Somehow ‘No offense, Donovan’… Ahhhh… Somehome ‘No offense, Donovan’ really makes me laugh. Alright. Cool.” with Andrew laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “This sounds adorbs. You’re gonna lose your, lose your, your shit.”

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