Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “I call it the ‘supposebly syndrome'”

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Andrew: “I don’t give a care!”

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Andrew: “I don’t have anything good to say today”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna say, ‘Mandalorian’. I only wanna say, ‘Mandadorian'”

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Andrew: “I had no idea so many Mary Louise Kelly jokes would be in today’s show! I would’ve gotten up early if I had known this was in store”

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Andrew: “I swore at myself; I vacuumed it up”

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Andrew: “Oh, this is explicit”

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Andrew: “Some sort of trashy… Martin Luther… of… 2020”

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Andrew: “That’s what gets you cancelled”

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Andrew: “That’s what I said!!”

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Andrew: “The, the golden age of the Marsupial Gurgle”

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Andrew: “This is how Libertarians are born”

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Andrew: “This is so gross”

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Andrew: “You know your body better than I know your body, sadly”

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Luke: “Cuz, there are a lot of other reasons I am cancellable; and… a lot of other problematic things about me. I didn’t think the garbage thing was gonna be the one”

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Luke: “I don’t think I’m gonna take this anymore”

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Luke: “I killed a lotta worms in my childhood… as… part of the fishing industrial complex”

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Luke: “I’m doing it”

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Luke: “I’m in a really weird mood today”

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Luke: “Luke, I am your father!”

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Luke: “You know… mono-syllabic, bi-syllabic… you know… First name, last name. Pretty easy”

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Luke and Andrew: “I… self-pwned myself so hard (Yeah); and, it was good”

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Andrew: “Delete it”

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Andrew: “Don’t go playing in traffic, Luke”

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Andrew: “Flip it and reverse it”

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Andrew: “I can’t drive ninety-five”

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Andrew: “I should not be listening to this conversation at all”

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Andrew: “I’m obsessed with this song”

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Andrew: “What are you doing, Chad?”

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Andrew: “When I’m on those machines… if you’re walking in front of me, I got nothing to stare at. I’m staring at you. Like, I’m gonna watch you walk from one end to the other”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have found myself getting into bad habits of not wanting to leave the house; and… Actually, not to turn this about me; but… Along with having strong booties, that’s another thing you and Chrissy Teigen have in common. Delete it. Wait. Hold on. I’m deleting as we speak, in the future”

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Luke: “I, just… am not very strong anymore”

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Luke: “I… Hmm… I have a, I have a dream, a secret dream”

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Luke: “I’m on that like Hayes on bidets”

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Luke: “It… rocked my world”

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Luke: “Let’s eat all the Impossible Whoppers”

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Luke: “State of the booty”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, please remember: No mountain to tall… And, my Internet won’t work”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, please remember: No mountain to tall… And, my Internet won’t work… Here it is! Okay, set me up one more time”

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Andrew: “Are you shitting me!?”

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Andrew: “Big weekend plans, no. Let’s see: Friday, nope. Saturday, nope. Sunday, nope”

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Andrew: “Good morning. Now, did you delete that BFF app… like I told you to? You don’t need it anymore. You got me”

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Andrew: “Here comes… Mr. Cased Meats, himself, over here, bulging at the seams”

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Andrew: “I coulda been chasing the tail!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. I think it accentuates my breasts too much”

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Andrew: “I don’t think my… old man brain was ready for that”

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Andrew: “I think I have different budgetary… priorities right now. I’m sorry… Worth it!”

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Andrew: “I think I’m pretty free and clear”

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Andrew: “I’ll look like Mr. Sausage”

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Andrew: “It’s like the trombone of Magical Musical Things”

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Andrew: “It’s not the Doomsday Clock… It’s your Doomsday Clock”

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Andrew: “Knock-knock-knocking on elderly’s door”

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Andrew: “Mmm, that sounds disturbing”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. I’m such an idiot”

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Andrew: “Say goodbye to my bank account”

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Andrew: “Then I go in the locker room; do a little flirting”

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Andrew: “This is no longer about you; and, it’s no longer about the listeners, okay?”

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Andrew: “You are surrounded by Doomsday Clocks”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew making a subpoena spoof

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “That’s coming up… on Too Beautiful To Live” and Luke playing a tune on his Otamatone

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Andrew and Luke: “Do the words ‘Magical Musical Thing’… ring any bells to you at all? I mean, I consider my voice a magical, musical thing”

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Andrew and Luke: Improvised “TBTL: Breaking News” drop

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Andrew and Luke: “Today… forty years ago… three days in the future… one day later… we will talk about that… on The Daily. I don’t know why our show’s now more popular”

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Andrew and Luke: “You don’t know… Nope. The–On the, on the, (You missed your chance to blow) sort of, stem… Yeah, I always do. I miss all the chances to blow that I don’t… (Mmm-hmm) shoot. What?”

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Luke: “I’m sorry… That’s so distracting”

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Luke: “Look at that fatty”

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Luke: “Look out, Michael Barbaro. We’re coming for ya”

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Luke: “Oh, did I drop my towel?”

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Luke: Playing an original composition on his Otamatone

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Luke: Saying “Welcome to The Daily” and playing a tune on his Otamatone

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Luke: Singing the opening to “Dixie”

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Luke: “So, I am surrounded by broken clocks”

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Luke: “Speaking of… being ousted… from life”

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Luke: “Why was it then that when I tried to flirt with you in the locker room, you said… you were not a chubby-chaser?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials… Oh-ho-ho-ho, you’re so random”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what the kids are doing on TikTok, Andrew, besides seductive dances? I don’t know; and, you shouldn’t either”

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Andrew: “And, also, I had that, kind of… that tongue thing”

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Andrew: “And, I’m not somebody to get on my high horse with music, at all; because, I don’t, I don’t have a leg to stand on”

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Andrew: “But, but… but!”

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Andrew: “But, that is some… shade! I love it!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sarah”

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Andrew: “I don’t know… why or what I’m doing here”

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Andrew: “I thought I only said it inside my head! Do I say the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud?”

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Andrew: “I was thinking about the earwax the whole time!”

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Andrew: “I, I don’t need it. I don’t need it. You can smell me. Do you want to smell me, Andrew?”

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Andrew: “I’d remembered turning Tom Shane down yesterday”

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Andrew: “It wasn’t the weirdest part”

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Andrew: Making disgusted sounds

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Andrew: “Oh, come on, man. Feel my glutes!”

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Andrew: Saying “No… No, I’m good” as if his teeth were being cleaned

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Andrew: “See, that language is salty!”

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Andrew: “She’s gotta be so nice all the time! And, kind, and giving! Kahh! Poough!”

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Andrew: “She’s gotta be so nice all the time! And, kind, and giving! Kahh! Poough! Anyway… Sorry, Phyllis. That was disgusting noises I just made”

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Andrew: “She’s right!? I’m wrong?”

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Andrew: Singing “Just like a white wing dove”

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Andrew: “So, she had him… smell her”

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Andrew: “This is just the dumbest, most… I feel like, knuckle-draggy thing to say”

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Andrew: “Wait… are you asking me if I put too much salad dressing on my donuts?”

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Andrew: “What’s going on, Morgan? Who did you kill?”

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Andrew: “Why am I doing this today?”

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Andrew: “Your drops are all over the place”

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Andrew: “Your drops are all over the place… Not like mine. My library is… pretty uniform”

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Andrew and Luke: “You wanna get your… wanna get your Blurs wet? Yeah… Euugh! No, I don’t”

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Luke: “Andrew! That is fascinating to me. You have… total recall”

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Luke: “Lemme, lemme… clarify that statement; and, lemme take this to a… slightly, possibly weirder place”

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Luke: “Oh, shit… Things are hard”

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Luke: Saying “Would you like to play a game?” in a sing-songy, robotic manner

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Luke: Singing “Been through the desert on a horse with three legs”

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Luke: Singing “Just like the world we know”

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Luke: Singing “Stand back, stand back”

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Luke: “That’s just… how I live. I live más, Andrew”

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Luke: “You may know me from such columns as… ‘I’m Crazy'”

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Luke: “You’ve always been seventy-two, Mr. Tyler”

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Andrew: “And, a bunch of Internet bozos said ‘Yes’!?”

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Andrew: “Are we paying in space credits now?”

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Andrew: “Are you shitting me?”

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Andrew: “But, I remember… somebody barking at me in my youth”

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Andrew: “Click here! Click here! Click here!”

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Andrew: “Garbage first, human being second. Put it… on… my… family… crest!”

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Andrew: “Get your ears checked, dude!”

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Andrew: “How do you know, Walsh? Thanks for asking, Walsh”

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Andrew: “I don’t feel guilty… ever!”

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Andrew: “I made stock out of Dry Bones… Never make stock out of Dry Bones”

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Andrew: “I need to get out into the world”

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Andrew: “I really can be a clown fish”

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Andrew: “I think you’ll find a beef somewhere”

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Andrew: “I… hold… a… grudge”

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Andrew: “I’m basically a toddler”

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Andrew: “In my life, I’ve sprayed a cat or two”

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Andrew: “It’s your lucky day. A Saudi prince just sent you a PDF file”

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Andrew: “Mmm! Seasoning for Professor Bananas!”

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Andrew: “My meows change as I age”

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Andrew: “My… reasons for not getting a sound bar are… either complicated or boring, or both”

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Andrew: “Pail is a man’s best friend”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Crouch cream”

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Andrew: Singing “Number six!”

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Andrew: “That was not a reflection of… me… or… my… duties”

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Andrew: “That’s a lotta Ps… pood [ph]“

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Andrew: “You always have my back”

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Andrew: “You don’t know what’s going on with a dog”

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Andrew: “You might be transferring your stress… to me”

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Andrew: “Your new name is: Tarpon, Tarpon”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asking if he could take a look at Luke’s laptop and possibly nuke the collection of Andrew drops

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m calling baloney, Reader’s Digest (Ooh)”

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Luke: “Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh!”

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Luke: “I don’t know what fugue state I was in”

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Luke: “I don’t know, I was trying to… out Pizza the Hut?”

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Luke: “I mean, we definitely did something not right”

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Luke: “I’m in a real tizzy, Andrew”

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Luke: “If you’ve reached us between… noon and one… you know, we are on lunch”

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Luke: “Ridin’ around the block with a Glock… I’m finna get shot”

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Luke: “Ridin’ around the block with a Glock… I’m finna get shot… Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I love you, Mister Pail… So much more than Rudy! Gross. With the fur, and the beating heart. (Ohh) Look at you. I can put stuff in you”

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Luke and Andrew: “You got Ranger Rick? Hell yeah, I got Ranger Rick!”

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Andrew: “But, I also have no problem with a white lie”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke. I just realized that I… I ran out of pithy things to say at beginning of the show. I think this is it”

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Andrew: “I had a dream”

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Andrew: “I like to… kinda keep things a little mysterious on the show”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’m just gonna slip… just comfortably right into my ‘OK Boomer’ pants here”

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Andrew: “I think I’m embellishing that”

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Andrew: “I’m a power clean”

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Andrew: “It’s not the sexy, fun part”

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Andrew: “It’s not the sexy, fun part. I just wanna be… to the part where… I can just do it and it’s kind of… entertaining”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. Has it turned on you?”

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Andrew: “Port… Dog’s Town”

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Andrew: “That is infuriating… That is… absolutely infuriating”

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Andrew: “That is some… bullshit!”

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Andrew: “That’s what it is! It’s vanilla! That’s not the smell of Jack Frost!”

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Andrew: “This is so damn defensive”

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Andrew: “We should be dropping some of those… little… podcast nuggets on ya… Eww”

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Andrew and Luke: “Also, segments from Luke’s radio shows. (Mmm-hmm) But, why would I do that?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is that you or me? (Is that supposed to be happening?) I don’t think it’s me, is it? Oh, shoot! Wait, what the heck was that? That was me this time! Wait… what is happening? Am I calling you accidentally?”

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Luke: “Bitches be crazy”

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Luke: “Guffawing-ham”

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Luke: “I’m putting on pants”

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Luke: “I’ve been there”

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Luke: “Is that good?”

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Luke: Luke acting like he’s leaving a voicemail message for Andrew

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Luke: “Man… look at the memory on this guy. Look at the big brain on Burbs”

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Luke: “Oh my God. I just have a million… boring stories in me today”

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Luke: Saying “Look at this guy over here, Boutros Boutros-Ghali” as Jiminy Glick

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Luke: Saying “The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a… is a good guy with a blog” as Jiminy Glick

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Luke: Saying “What was it like when you were funny?” as Jiminy Glick

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Luke: Saying “You don’t do a lotta show prep, do you?” as Jiminy Glick

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Luke: “That’s never a space I wanna play in… cuz, I rarely deliver… when I’m playing in that space”

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Luke: “They’ve come for Sonos. When they came for iTunes, I said nothing. That’s not true; I said a lot. But, anyway… Now, they’ve come for my Sonos”

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Luke: “Trying to… interrupt… the… wafting of Rudy’s butt problems”

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Luke: “Your system requires attention”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m like that character in Frogger; just, jumping from one… one story… from the last twenty-four hours to another, as each one sinks into the river… that is life… How you feeling? I’m feeling good… I’m feeling great”

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Luke and Andrew: “When someone pops a hammy (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, babe… Any… Oh, Christ. Never mind”

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