Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “Ah, I’m just joking. Bad joke. Rah-rah. Let’s move on”

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Andrew: “But, goddamn! I am so lucky that… this is what I get to do… for my job; and, get to swear and teach kids swear words… on the imaginary radio”

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Andrew: “Give me some of that Cumberbatch. I need some of that Cumberbatch!”

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Andrew: “He… does not… want… to eff… with deadlines anymore”

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Andrew: “I don’t know the deets”

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Andrew: “I have no… self-loathing stories of me acting like an anti-social jerk today; so, I hope you got something to talk about”

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Andrew: “My God”

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Andrew: “Nope. Sorry. I’m wrong”

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Andrew: “Oh, they’re not new, Jen. They’re just newly enforced”

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Andrew: “Ron, Don and Burbank”

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Andrew: “Snitches get best wishes… from other inmates”

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Andrew: “Sorry to use this word; but, I can’t think of a better one”

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Andrew: “That was a dumb way of putting that”

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Andrew: “The Hey Dummies are like the dreams of TBTL: we only care about them if we’re in them”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you have a growth plan for that? I have a growth”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m trying to get all the… Lukey time I can (Yeah)”

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Luke: “Anxiety… to the power of anxiety”

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Luke: “Cuz, that’s where the ear-balls are… let’s be honest”

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Luke: “Holy shit snacks!”

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Luke: “I know very little about any part of this show that isn’t me yapping into this microphone”

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Luke: “Luke… ‘Blues Grass’ Burbank”

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Luke: “No one really questions our BS very much”

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Luke: “Snishes get wishes?”

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Luke: “Snitches get witches”

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Luke: “This show should be on at night and have fewer listeners; and, Luke has less value as a human”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, really? How’s your podcast!? (Exactly) Why don’t you stick it where the sun don’t–Oh, you want me to come talk to your class. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Support from this station comes from… really anyone who’s not Andrew; (Yeah) who’s just been… roasting me… mercilessly… on this call”

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Andrew: “Bone, bone, bone, bone. Don’t make me sing Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, and have somebody isolate it, and play it back for me, Luke… That’s a trap! That’s a trap; and, I can see it a million miles away”

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Andrew: “But, man, I’m a freaking weirdo man”

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Andrew: “But, that, but she was, she was rude to my buddy Lukey”

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Andrew: “But, why did you say that?”

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Andrew: “Don’t… really feel like… fucking around with… cottage cheese; or, what have you”

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Andrew: “Fine… Fine. It is. They’re all Christmas movies. Every movie is a Christmas movie. Can we stop talking about it now? Because, it is the most uninteresting take”

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Andrew: “I can’t even describe to you how fucking nervous I was. My voice cracked… My voice squeaked. I’m like, ‘I’m… Andrew; and… I like making chicken stock'”

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Andrew: “I don’t understand this list, bro!”

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Andrew: “I liked long showers… That’s for damn sure”

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Andrew: “I… should let it go there… But, I won’t”

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Andrew: “I’m decade-ist as well”

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Andrew: “Let’s get to the part where they say ‘bone’… That’s the only part that I really like”

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Andrew: “Like, I feel like yesterday’s show was all about… me and my… foibles… if that’s the right word; which, probably isn’t”

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Andrew: “My scald take is that everybody else’s scald take suck”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m… Andrew; and… I like making chicken stock” in a cracked and squeaky manner

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Andrew: Saying “Using my schmaltz” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing “Bone, bone, bone, bone”

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Andrew: “This is a… quasi-real suggestion”

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Andrew: “We have the schmaltz!”

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Andrew: “When I can finally boil that bird down”

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Andrew: “You need to go to Andy’s School… of Self-Confidence… and Garbage Retrieval”

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Andrew and Luke: “Eh, fake news. Luke will explain it to me later (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t understand it, bro! (Understand it, bro!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a little bit of a annoying hot take that I just need to throw out there… I’m ready”

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Andrew and Luke: “No… (Preparation classes?) No; because, the–No”

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Andrew and Luke: “Three thousand… fifty-five… is the magic number (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You can take dairy from my… red, rashy hand… From my warm red hands… I believe, is what… Charlton Heston once said”

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Luke: “It’s a very special episode… of the show… It’s an episode the whole family should watch”

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Luke: Making a series of beeping sounds

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Luke: “Oh, by the way… the… pharmacy that I go to is, just, where hope goes to die”

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Luke: “Smells for days here, at Burbank Springs; which, I’m excited about”

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Luke: “We don’t do a lot of important work on this show; in fact, we don’t do any important work on this show”

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Luke: “We have the smeats”

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Andrew: “God, I hope those sons of guns are still there when I get there”

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Andrew: “He checks out my lemon drops”

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Andrew: “I am a man of a… certain girth”

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Andrew: “I can become grumbly Andrew pretty quickly”

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Andrew: “I get the wheels on my feet. That’s what I’m gonna call them now”

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Andrew: “I had a real dirtbag weekend”

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Andrew: “I only know how to jog with wheels on my feet”

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Andrew: “I’m not arguing with you here!”

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Andrew: “I’m not ready for that jelly. I’m not ready for that jelly on a, on a good day!”

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Andrew: “I’m taking over the jukebox now. It’s gonna get really gay in here! I’m playing the gayest songs on the jukebox!”

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Andrew: “I’ve always been here, Genevieve”

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Andrew: “If you wanna… bug out early, bug out early”

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Andrew: “Is there any truth to this?”

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Andrew: “No, you’re a stinky butt… Get outta here, you stinky butt”

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Andrew: “Not my problem”

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Andrew: “Oh my God; I’m so hungover right now”

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Andrew: “Oh, Andrew”

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Andrew: “Oh… you seem… really likable. You seem… really likable”

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Andrew: “Ooh!”

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Andrew: “Ooh! I am… unsteady this morning”

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Andrew: “This is gonna be gross; but, I like sweating”

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Andrew: “What is going on… with Fatty McGee over here?”

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Andrew: “What the hell am I doing?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, my brother’s fucking nuts!”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, there’s one… one piece of somewhat negative news… regarding this, I have to tell you; and, you’re involved… (Okay… Ooh) Yeah… it involves you”

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Andrew and Luke: Joke grenades

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Luke: “Crouching Kelly, Hidden Shawna”

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Luke: “I am the world’s biggest self-plagiarist”

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Luke: “I don’t even have a chance with that”

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Luke: “I’m just looking at a piece of crap on the wall”

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Luke: “Once that little piece of sand burrows its way into the… oyster that is your brain, it’s gonna create a pearl of anxiety”

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Luke: “This is everything I love!”

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Luke: “You know, you go into war with the jokes you have, Andrew, not the… So, anyway”

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Andrew: “Go! Go! This is what you trained for! Take it! Take it! Something opened up!”

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Andrew: “I am afraid I cannot edit as I talk”

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Andrew: “It’s a miracle!”

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Andrew: Making funny thinking sounds

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Andrew: “Sorry, I was kind of ignoring you during that intro. I realize that’s kind of rude”

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Andrew: “The math isn’t there… The math isn’t there!!”

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Andrew: “What’s hiding in the leaves that can hurt me?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m dinging for two (Eww)”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “It’s a ladies’ fund. It’s a ladies’ fund!” in an Australian accent

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Luke: “Attempted rim touching”

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Luke: “Ding it for both of us”

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Luke: Doing his version of the Jaws shark approaching notes

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Luke: “Going to the Burger King to poop. That’s what, that’s what love is”

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Luke: “I really Shatner’d your bathroom up”

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Luke: “I’m always on some bullshit”

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Luke: “Lay off the drops, Burbs”

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Luke: “My host brain was spinning… so hard… the whole show”

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Luke: “Not your circus, not your monkeys. Nobody needs your help; just… stay in your line, Burbs”

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Luke: “Oh, you… I can’t quit you”

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Luke: “Old… Shady B”

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Luke: “Olivia… cover your ears… We’re screwed”

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Luke: Saying “I didn’t do it… I don’t know how this happened”

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Luke: “So, we’ve decided you’re Rubbermaid Girl”

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Luke: “Sorry about that. There was kinda a frenzy in your bathroom… You wanna keep that door close for a hot minute”

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Luke: “Try to touch the rim”

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Luke: “Whatever you wanna do, Quadzilla”

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Luke: “Would you consider becoming a VSCO boy?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke describing the toe nail clipping mess and Andrew is squicking out

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Luke and Andrew: “You gotta love it, right? You know this is a Box Tops cover, right? You know what? This interview is over!”

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