Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: Cracking up while saying ‘Why is it… Why is it a war? This is literally the best tape we’ve ever played”

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Andrew: “Do you know that Genevieve is… using our dark place… to make… vanilla extract?”

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Andrew: “Freakin’ amazing”

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Andrew: “Hashtag… BonVoy”

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Andrew: “Honk! I’m outta here!”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna say my dream; because, I don’t think I had dreams growing up”

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Andrew: “I’m having a panic attack”

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Andrew: “I’ve been thinking about this a lot… going from, you know, just… BonVoy hopping”

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Andrew: “It was ass-side up”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Oh, it’s all behind us. We’ve done it all!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying something

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Andrew: “Taint my wagon”

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Andrew: “The zoo is ripshit”

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Andrew: “They were disboarding de plane”

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Andrew: “Wait a second, wait a second… what don’t you understand about that?”

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Andrew: “What did we see?”

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Andrew: “What have I done? What have I done?”

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Andrew: “When they come after me with a pickle, I gotta come back at them with a pickle”

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Andrew and Luke: “Seattle has been great to me. Seattle has really scratched my… my, my urban itch. Your tootsie itch? Let me see your tootsie itch”

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Andrew and Luke: “This was like a… a tinderbox of misbehavior that just did not go up! Yeah. Terrible phrase. Goddamn!”

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Luke: “Are you kids still doing your hip-hopping down in the basement? Because, it’s almost time for snacks”

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Luke: Clearing his throat

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Luke: Clearing his throat #2

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Luke: “Desplaning”

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Luke: “Honk!!”

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Luke: “I like New York Andrew”

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Luke: “I smell a tweet”

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Luke: “I’m sittin’ here!”

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Luke: Singing “Let me see your tootsie itch”

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Luke: “Slow down and smell the roses, lady!”

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Luke: “T’ain’t misbehaving”

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Luke: “Take a drink when Luke says ‘Colleague'”

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Luke: “The look on Andrew’s face is one of just… the delight of a child”

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Luke: “We’ve made it to the apple… that never sleeps”

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Luke: “Yeah. What a maroon!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Clean up on aisle Q&A… Clean up on episode three-thousand”

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Luke and Andrew: “People are gonna be… dying for garbage talk when I get done with printer talk. Technically, this is kind of garbage talk”

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Luke and Andrew: “Real polite, FedEx!! (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “This… BonVoy coffee is really getting to me… (Mmm-hmm) Can we just stop down?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Towing a motorcycle… ass over tea kettle… (Yeah) as the speedometer boinks along Atlantic Avenue”

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Luke and Andrew: “What did you think about that tow job on that motorsickle? [sic] Whoa!”

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About a week before the 3000th show was taped, Luke asked for a series of dazzling or funny deets about the show over the years. He also said that some of the details did not have to be true or accurate, considering that the TBTL: By the Numbers for the 2000th Epithode were not actual true stats. The following is the clip of Luke reading the ones that I sent over:

Luke and Andrew: TBTL 3000: By the Numbers

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Andrew: “Because, why the shit… would you serve soup in a square bowl with a lip!?”

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Andrew: “Bonvoy!! Bonvoy!”

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Andrew: “But, if you ever heard one of us say, ‘Let’s stop down’ on a podcast… something went terribly wrong”

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Andrew: “Don’t try to read my face… I’m inscrutable”

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Andrew: “Hold on, hold on, hold on. Everybody… actually be quiet for one second. Everybody just listen to me. Really, really. Everybody listening? Yeah. Alright… (Power out) There it is”

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Andrew: “How in the hell are you letting this happen?”

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Andrew: “I was prepared… to make a joke. Yes, sometimes I prepare jokes”

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Andrew: “I’m the poster child for stalking”

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Andrew: “If you guys love something, listen to it a lot; and, then, just sneak into the person’s studio and, eventually, you will be able to be a co-bro”

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Andrew: “Nick, look me in the eye”

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Andrew: “No. What-what-what-what-what-what-what-what?”

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Andrew: “Orlando… Calrissian”

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Andrew: “This is exactly where I should be. We are doing this from the commercial sink… the place where they wash the dishes… This is–We should move all of this equipment out of the way and I could start… cleaning everybody’s dishes. This is great!”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound… crazy”

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Andrew: “This is kind of a garbage story; but, this is a garbage lunch story”

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Andrew: “This is real old man yells at bonvoy right here, okay?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew pronounces “Spinach” as “Spinige”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saw Luke’s “Andrew Drops” playlist in iTunes and that lead to Luke playing a series of Andrew drops

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Andre and Luke: “Is Bonnie here? Bonnie? Hi, Bonnie! I got your e-mail… I’m gonna read it… (What?!) Are you cool with this? I am… really interested to see what happens next”

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Andrew and Luke: “The WWE wrestler Kane, aka ‘The (Devil’s Favorite) Demon’ (‘The (Devil’s Favorite) Demon’)”

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Andrew, Luke and Nick Armes: “No, no, no… nope! Not on my playground! Alright. Okay. Finish your quiz. What is this, After These Messages? Geez! What is After These Messages? (Ohh…) It’s a cleaning podcast”

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Andrew, Nick Armes and Luke: “You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’? Sure… You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’!? I am. You’re gonna go with ‘Bomb Threat’!!? Umm… Yes! I’m afraid it’s ‘Fatt Kamp’, my friend. Yeah. Whoo! Drama!”

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Chris O’Leary, Luke and Andrew: Chris giving out a dazzling deet about the number of Waffle Houses and what the show number would be if they visited different one for each episode going forward

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Luke: “Did you guys nominate a kid to ask that? Because… you knew that we wouldn’t punch them… (Hi) Because, I’ll punch a kid”

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Luke: “Hash browns so fast you’ll freak!”

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Luke: “He’s like the Ayahuasca… of podcasting”

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Luke: “I just learned and, I… I’m not even gonna ask if this is okay, I’m just gonna go for it… Apparently, there’s a Vaniversary show… baby”

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Luke: “I’m part of the bon-luminati”

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Luke: “It’s just a kick-ass laugh riot”

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Luke: “Looks like I picked the wrong day to intermittent fast”

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Luke: Saying “Could we stop down for a minute?” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: Saying “I don’t, I don’t hear it” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: Singing “Despacito”

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Luke: “Sue me for what?”

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Luke: “That’s fucking great, actually”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, I wanna, I feel like I wanna… I don’t wanna big dog you here. Oh my God; then, don’t!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Combining all of the times ‘American Pie’ was played during the twenty-four hour Vaniversary live show… (Ohh) you could’ve watched the original ‘American Pie’ movie… at least once; but, why would you? That’s our stats person getting into (That is solid!) the joke writing. It’s a decent spoof from our stat person”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting indirectly mentioned for providing stats for TBTL: By the Numbers

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know. It just appeared in my life. What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I had a dream… Hey, you know what? Just do it… dream talk. (Oh! Change those stats, right here) I had a dream… (Who would’ve thought that would’ve been your dream that would change the stats?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Okay, I’ve got good news for you, Andrew. You’ve finished your food… Oh, yeah… I was… I was going slow… (I can shut up now) Thank you, so much”

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Luke and Andrew: “Should I have not have been sitting on the hash browns earlier? (Right) Was that a… (Oh, I guess they were smothered and covered!) Hey-oh! Wow, that’s a pretty good spoof. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, of course, we got this one… (I am a proud boy) Don’t applaud that!! What are you doing!!?”

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Luke, Andrew and Nick Armes: “Have there been points where you wanted to stop listening to the shows, but you felt like, ‘I got the tattoo; I gotta stick with it’… (Yeah) Like, at what point are you just trapped in this life? Weekly? Oh, wow. I’m kidding. I’m kidding. What do you think this is, Little Red Bandwagon? Ooh! Ooh!”

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Nick Armes and Luke: “Also known as ‘The Perfect Daddy’… Would not recommend… zero out of five stars”

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Nick Armes, Luke and Andrew: “Wait. Really!? Yeah! (Yes!) Oh, wow! Oh, hey!”

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Andrew: “Bumper car-ing it out up there”

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Andrew: “Can you hand me your cup?”

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Andrew: “Do I have them old airplane snoring blues again, Mama?”

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Andrew: “Does she have ear blindness?”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Hurry!”

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Andrew: “Eep”

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Andrew: “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!”

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Andrew: “Free WiFi is a human bonvoy… that’s the name of the thing”

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Andrew: “Going down this, this… particular goose hole”

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Andrew: “I did yell, ‘I’m a proud boy'”

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Andrew: “I will squeeze into spots that it would look like you could only get in there if you had a hovercraft”

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Andrew: “My brain feels broken”

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Andrew: “My God. I’m not an animal”

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Andrew: “Oh, no, you bad goose”

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Andrew: “Oh, no… is that… is that that snoring feeling? Do I have them old airplane snoring blues again, Mama?”

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Andrew: “Scatman’s waffle”

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Andrew: “Stop the show”

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Andrew: “Thank God It’s Dancing!”

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Andrew: “That’s very un-Burbankian”

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Andrew: “The password was ‘Ukraine69’ for some reason”

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Andrew: “Yeah; but, what are you gonna do about it, idiot”

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Andrew: “You got my attention”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hi. I’m on a podcast. Right. Ask me about my podcast”

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Andrew and Luke: “They could… they should… Yes… And, maybe they would. Yes”

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Luke: “Blocking out the snorers?”

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Luke: “Blocking out the snorers? Blocking out the snorers?”

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Luke: “Could ya please?”

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Luke: “Eep”

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Luke: Growling “Hurry!”

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Luke: “Handsome hubby!”

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Luke: “I want you to know that that… desk bell ding… it… made its way to Orlando, Florida at great personal embarrassment”

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Luke: “I’ll hoist you on my back like a papoose and carry you through this program tonight”

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Luke: Making sleep apneaic snoring sounds

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Luke: Making sleep apneaic snoring sounds #2

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Luke: Making sounds of utter disgust

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Luke: “Oh, please let this be the day we’re gonna play Thumbs Up, Seven Up”

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Luke: “Park and let bump?”

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Luke: Singing “Park and let bump!”

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Luke: “There will be one set of footprints through the Waffle House”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, I say a good bonvoy to you, sir. Bonvoy, my friend”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, thank you for putting your evil inside all of us (Yes)”

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Luke and Andrew: First-class has all the baby turns you can eat

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Luke and Andrew: “It was… exploside [sic], it was distracting, it was… confusing. It was medically problematic. It was a lot of things (Wow)”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Love tap, baby! (Baby!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Love tap, baby! (Baby!)” #2

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “This… fish is on fire! (Fire!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “They blocked out the haters. (They certainly did) The Rex Ryan (They blocked out the Ryans) Yeah!”

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Andrew: “And, you try to mingle… cuz, you’re single”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit!”

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Andrew: “Break Off the Knob… Brought to you by the Break Off the Knob and Lock It In Foundation”

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Andrew: “But, by saying that… by saying those words, I am jinxing the hell out of it!”

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Andrew: “But, I’m not finding any goddamn follow-ups! Journalists: do your job! Get a follow-up interview! Start with… ‘What the hell, Terrance!? What’s going on? Explain this again'”

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Andrew: “But, something’s broken in his brain, right?”

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Andrew: “Can Do Andrew”

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Andrew: “I am feeling weird, man”

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Andrew: “I couldn’t think of the word, ‘bowl'”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why I wore steel-toed boots; I was an idiot”

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Andrew: “I really don’t know… what… state… borders my state!”

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Andrew: Imitating the “Uh-oh!” drop

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Andrew: Making whooshing sounds

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Andrew: “My little, bubbly heart was racing so fast and there was so much adrenaline going through me”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah… Illinois. Indiana… Illinois. Indiana. My mother. My sister. My mother. My sister. Illinois! Indiana!”

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Andrew: “This isn’t an interesting story; but, I couldn’t think of the word, ‘bowl'”

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Andrew: “What… the… hell?”

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Andrew: “Wow!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Goddamnit! You wanna get me into award ceremonies? More of this! (Yeah, more of…)”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Hey, what was it like working with Will Smith in ‘Kung Fu Panda 2’?”

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Luke: “I pretended to be… angry”

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Luke: “I would say, I think it’s… probably door number two?”

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Luke: “I’m just here in a little studio”

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Luke: “I’m Terry Gross… it’s time to get the lead out”

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Luke: “Is my mind exploding?”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Lord willing… and the Iranian airspace don’t… stop us”

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Luke: Making a series of funny, food too hot sounds

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Luke: “No one new has joined the call!!”

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Luke: “Our, our goofiest, slappiest shows are ones that people tend to remember and enjoy”

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Luke: “Please like me”

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Luke: Saying “Does this sound like a musical Stu-bot?” in a sing-songy, robotic manner

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Luke: Singing “Lowered expectations”

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Luke: Singing “Operator… could you help me evangelize this brand”

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Luke: Singing “Sade!”

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Luke: Singing “Who put the ‘R’ in the ‘Shar-day’ [ph]“

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Luke: “Such a dick move!”

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Luke: “There was a moment of true bizarreness”

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Luke: “You gotta be flipping kidding me, bro!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you wanna do a loose fifteen or tight ten? Let’s do a loose fifteen”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m quilting all my food now… it’s a new thing… (Uh-huh) trying”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ooh (Anyway)… the talk is getting hot… right here on a Fri-yay!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You have the boldness of a much younger Andrew. Yeah!”

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Andrew: “And, I wish… everyone… after they graduate… much… love and hap…piness”

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Andrew: “Because, we did hinge a lot of plans on this shit”

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Andrew: “Chris Hayes 537”

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Andrew: “Did you find out who’s a good dog? Who’s a good dog? Who’s a good dog!?”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke!”

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Andrew: “He decided he was going to win the penis game”

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Andrew: “Here, let me clear the air on something here”

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Andrew: “I have a web-sty on my left eye”

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Andrew: “I think dogs should be cuddled… and not shown”

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Andrew: “I’m an insecure, small… petty… little, snot of a man”

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Andrew: “I’m an insecure, small… petty… little, snot of a man… is what I think everybody is saying right now… But, this small, petty, insecure, snot of a man. I know that you’re not saying anything so that can be pulled; but, whatever… so that, those words can be used against me in the future”

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Andrew: “Penis”

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Andrew: Saying “It’s my Blursday!” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing a series of notes and “And a womb with a view”

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Andrew: “This small, petty, insecure, snot of a man”

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Andrew: “While we’re talking about… phalluses here… they used to play something called ‘the penis game'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you call somebody, like, fifty-six, (No) like an elderly person? I don’t. Not to their face (I don’t…)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have built walls around me; because, I’ve been duped so many times (Yeah) on this show. Which, is why I don’t believe anything”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? Lemme, lemme do some… some poking around. (Sleuthing?) Yeah, let me do some sleuthing. I wish I said ‘sleuthing’ and not ‘poking around’ during a penis story”

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Luke: “Boom-boom”

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Luke: “Chris Hayes’s office”

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Luke: “Fall is… fall is falling, all around”

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Luke: “Hawthorne 537”

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Luke: “It’s like: two not great tastes that taste not great together”

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Luke: “NBD”

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Luke: Singing “And, we don’t care about the yarn folk… Talking about their crochet… And, we don’t care about the…”

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Luke: Singing “Hey, sole Ten”

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Luke: “Their wish is my command”

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Luke: “Wait… What!? Hunh”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I love Ginger Snap! (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “What I realize in watching this is that I think I really like marching band music… This is what convinced you [that] you like marching band music?”

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