Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “As you know… how I end up saying some really weird shit… when I’m mad at… Uber drivers, or whatever”

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Andrew: “Cute as a button!”

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Andrew: “I just don’t think you can… live a… more elderly lifestyle than that; and, I’m here for it… Oops! I can’t say that! No more slang phrases post two-thousand. That’s a new rule in my life”

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Andrew: “I’m not saying that I, I’m on the edge of breaking down and crying in front of people”

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Andrew: “It’s also a… goddamn beautiful movie!”

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Andrew: Making a funny party horn sound

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Andrew: “My brain feels better now, by the way”

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Andrew: “My friend made that! Are you guys watching? Look! Look! My friend made that! It’s over now; but, she made that”

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Andrew: “Now, here I am. It’s a… nice… almost sunny Monday… I’m safe in my house… I’m not scared anymore”

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Andrew: “Theo is a crank though. I get it”

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Andrew: “This does our listeners no good”

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Andrew: “Want me to play… weird… porno-sounding game show music or anything?”

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Andrew: “What would Fat Joe do?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo!”

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Andrew: “You know me. I’m… very into… into anything that is even slightly pornographic”

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Andrew: “You know me. I’m… very into… into anything that is even slightly pornographic; as, we were talking about earlier in the show and that’s kind of my thing”

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Andrew and Luke: “The Quanch-quanch? (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: Weird, porno-sounding game show music talk

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Luke: “I did not”

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Luke: “I did not… clear this with you at all”

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Luke: “I’m slightly fapooned”

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Luke: “Things are really different Down Under”

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Luke: “We wanna really open up this neck space by taking down all of these heads”

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Luke: “You know what? I had an… an occasion to… talk to some… TBTL listeners… in Portland on Thursday night after TBTL” [ed: It was after Live Wire! Radio taping, not TBTL]

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew cracking up as Luke describes a guy who owns a murdered out brodozer with a black and white Punisher flag sticker

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Luke and Andrew: “Is this what it sounds like when you make sweet love? No!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke using the term “husbandry” without knowing what it actually means

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Andrew: “Can we get through the whole intro… without cracking’

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Andrew: “He knows that he’s kinda… blowing some corny shit”

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Andrew: “I am insane for this stupid team right now”

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Andrew: “I hate myself for laughing at that”

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Andrew: “I wake up early. I’m drowsy, I’m groggy, I’m foggy”

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Andrew: “Ohh… I can’t watch baseball today”

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Andrew: Saying “Luke’s gonna make me do this thing” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s my… that’s my Outback buddy… everybody. This is my… this is the guy who tried to get the rattlesnake to rattle its snake for Instagram. This is the guy that I am going into this with… Just so everybody knows”

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Andrew: “This show has a spell on me, man!”

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Andrew: “When are you gonna bring the Mariners back!?”

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Andrew: “You know, forget about… even being able to listen to the Mariners game. What’s the, what’s the baseball schedule like that week? We didn’t think this out at all!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know what I would do if this show went away… Wow! And, you’re not talking about TBTL right now”

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Luke; “Could I finally get you to watch my television stories, Daddy?’

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Luke: “Ding, ding, ding!”

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Luke: “Good morning; and, I’m sorry”

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Luke: “I am… petrified… petrified by this story!”

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Luke: “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing”

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Luke: “I cannot believe he just told that joke”

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Luke: “I still wanna do this; but, I don’t want us to die”

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Luke: “I think I got this”

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Luke: “I would say smaller than a Yaris, bigger than a breadbox”

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Luke: “If it’s a seafood buffet, they call you a ‘fin-fluencer'”

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Luke: “If my mom and dad would have done a little less royal forking, we would’ve… had more money for going to the Royal Fork. It’s the great irony… of this whole situation. Thank you. Thank you very much”

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Luke: “Intelligence for Your Woife!”

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Luke: “Let the fun begin”

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Luke: “Oh! Explicit?”

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Luke: Saying “Gotta say, daddy-o… he was blowing that corny shit” in a jazzy manner

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Luke: Saying “What are ya doing here? Are you going to see a lady from Fiji?” in an odd Australian accent

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Luke: Singing “Gonna take myself to Golden Corral. Gonna eat, gonna eat ’til I can’t no more”

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Luke: “Somebody… better get these… mother-humping snakes off this mother-humping TBTL-a-thon!”

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Luke: “Somebody… better get these… mother-humping snakes off this mother-humping TBTL-a-thon! Sorry, that was, like, in me and I had to get it out”

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Luke: “Sorry, that was, like, in me and I had to get it out”

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Luke: “This is gonna sound super, coastal elitist of me”

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Luke: “Today… is a day of firsts, Andrew, for me and the listeners. This is the first time they’ve realized… just how bad the show is”

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Luke: “Two… of those… standard port-a-johns are just sailing through the sky in Portland like two beautiful… shit-filled birds”

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Luke: “Yo. What’s the deal? How do you do this?”

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Luke: “You pull out a fapoon… and you… dig into the… cantaloop!! [ph]“

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Luke and Andrew: “I would glamp through the… Outback with you, happily… Glamping through the Outback”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it possible that we’re just tougher than your average Outback Australian? No”

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Andrew: “All of the words that I know right now, I can still use going forward. If new words are invented from this point forward, I don’t think I should use them… For myself and for others”

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Andrew: “But, I have a huge dose of imposter syndrome”

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Andrew: Clapping and singing “Happy, happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy, happy birthday to you, to you, to you! ¡Olé!”

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Andrew: “Good morning… You have made… a woman in Spokane very… very happy this morning with your decision to return… to the classic… Tom Shane drop”

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Andrew: “I just cannot stand the sound of me talking”

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Andrew: “I know! My God! You almost broke up a marriage, Luke; and, that was just a Wednesday”

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Andrew: “I’m sure I just sound like… a total idiot here to a lot of people”

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Andrew: “It is… terrible!”

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Andrew: “Now, you’ve got a friend in the marriage business”

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Andrew: “Power out!”

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Andrew: Rapping “Contract is making me blue”

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Andrew: Singing “I like the way you think”

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Andrew: “Steel Trap Buddy. Ooh, that’s my sexiest nickname yet”

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Andrew: “They don’t love that. They don’t love being called ‘The P City'”

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Andrew: “We have so much to learn about Australia; and, I have a feeling… we’re not gonna do it”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do we have time for this… ridiculousness? We’ve got… Yes, we have time for this ridiculousness”

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Luke: “Because my… my fragile, fragile ego cannot handle that shit”

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Luke: Clapping and saying “Happy, happy birthday… Fuck. How can I forget this? Sorry I just swore during your birthday song, Barrett”

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Luke: Clapping and singing “Happy, happy birthday. May all your dreams come true… Happy, happy birthday. Something else I’m forgetting”

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Luke: “Now, you have friend in the blood shoes business’

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Luke: “One bro, turning it up”

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Luke: Saying “Oh… my… God” and dinging his bell for each word

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Luke: “The P City”

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Luke: “Well, I’ll fix that by not listening anymore”

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Luke: “You’ve been turning me off a lot today!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, if I’m driving on a Saturday, and I have public radio on, and Live Wire comes on, I will actively turn it off… Which is kind of strange (Me too!) considering this is… You know, you are going to hell… actually”

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Luke and Andrew: “You call that an applause? Oh, God! Sorry. (Sorry, everybody) And, so it begins. Buckle up!”

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Andrew: “But, it’s… a conundrum for me”

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Andrew: “Don’t be a dweeb!”

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Andrew: “Eighth grade was rough, man. That was the worst. That was the… kind of the… pinnacle of badness”

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Andrew: “Hey! Human Fly here!”

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Andrew: “I could be wrong here… in my head”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna get… super personal here; but… appropriate drop for me today… I think”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna take the, I don’t wanna take the piss out of the story. I don’t wanna the fart out of the story”

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Andrew: “I probably just warged out until you said my name, probably”

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Andrew: “If we have the same idea, then I’m out”

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Andrew: “Is turd culture a thing?”

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Andrew: “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty”

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Andrew: “Listen… take it from a dweeb”

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Andrew: “Mom Shane!”

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Andrew: “Nobody has to look at… this beef castle”

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Andrew: “Now, this is a story that fills me with delight”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: Singing “In my head… I made a spoon for you”

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Andrew: Singing “Liberty”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Trust me, dude. That look did not work on me”

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Andrew: “We can’t podcast under these circumstances”

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Andrew: “Why are there all these nerds here?”

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Andrew: “Why are there all these nerds here? Are our listeners nerds? I don’t know”

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Andrew: “You’re just talking about being a rip-off artist… Mom… Shane”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew meant to say that the Tom Shane drop replaced the drop of Luke’s mom saying something, but it didn’t come out that way

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Andrew and Luke: Getting mentioned for sending the Apple calendar and SMS alert sounds to them

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Andrew and Luke: “I think I was just a dweeb. I think I was just like a little turd… Is turd culture a thing? Oh, no! See!? Torthwest Turd? [ph] Oh, no!”

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Luke: “A little window into your wind?”

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Luke: “All of those… bullies at St. Hillary’s… can absolutely… suck it!”

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Luke: “But, the good news is, it is warm and dry inside your podcast”

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Luke: “But, the good news is, it is warm and dry inside your podcast… I gotta stop saying that… For some reason, that sounds very… suggestive… I don’t… mean it to… just does”

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Luke: Getting mentioned for asking about the plans for the 3000th show

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Luke: “I must live there now”

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Luke: “It’s a wacky assassin with a heart of gold”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Shame! Shame! Shame”

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Luke: “Luke doesn’t eliminate one nemesis without creating another”

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Luke: Singing “Liverty, Liverty, Liverty… Liverty”

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Luke: “Speaking of little turds out there”

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Luke: “Thank you, by the way… Pham, for sending it in”

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Luke: “That’s not how this work. [sic] That’s not how any of this works”

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Luke: “Why was? Why? Hunh? Who?”

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Luke: “You’re being very ‘Yes, and’ this morning”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m Mom Shane… Now, you have a mom… in the jewelry business”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty… Liberty… Liberty… We are Farmers… (Liberty) Liberty”

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Andrew: “Come on, guys. We gotta keep that chicken moist”

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Andrew: “Damn… there goes the day”

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Andrew: “Ew! Ew! Ew! No! No! No!”

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Andrew: “For the most pork”

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Andrew: “I mean, all birds are fish; but, not all fish are birds, right?”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’m, like, being a Columbo over here”

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Andrew: “Like, that’s gross, man!”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m just gonna Burbank it”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! God!!”

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Andrew: “Oh, mother of lawyers”

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Andrew: Speaking about his dark, little secret about watching Columbo

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Andrew: “The joke was right! The context was wrong”

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Andrew: “What the hell am I doing? Jesus Christ, Walsh. Keep it together!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, you know me”

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Andrew: “Yeah… That… that bedroom door has been closed for a long time”

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Andrew: “You just, you know… slurp down some pastrami”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then, one of ’em, just one of ’em has an eyeball… and turns and it looks at you. Sorry. See!? That’s gross. But, I don’t care; cuz, I don’t eat meat. So, that’s fine… Gross yourself out”

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Luke: “I’m gonna say something that’s gonna alienate a lot of the listeners”

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Luke: “I’m gonna tell ya something… it really looks like shit”

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Luke: “I’m making it… funk to funky”

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Luke: “I’m trying to enter this universe that you’re creating; and, now, I’m trying to leave it”

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Luke: “I’ve got mail!”

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Luke: “Mother of lawyers!!”

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Luke: “Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke”

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Luke: “Salty milk? No… No, thank you”

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Luke: “Take a memo!”

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Luke: “Vexillologists out there, get ready!”

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Andrew: “All I need is a dot matrix printer and all of this shit will work itself out”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit. We flooded it”

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Andrew: “Because, I get very… heavy ‘Shut up, little man'”

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Andrew: “Cuneiform in uniform?”

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Andrew: “Dad, wait! Dad, wait!”

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Andrew: “Damnit… Goddamnit”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!!”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe this shit is real”

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Andrew: “I don’t want an asterisk next to my name in the quiz hall of fame”

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Andrew: “I like this game. I also think I’m just getting slappy”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’ll, I’ll take the loss; but, I think what we learned is you also lost”

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Andrew: “I think it’s a pig, Luke”

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Andrew: “I… have not had a chance, as you would expect, to, like, kind of scan the tweeters, and, you know, all of the… usual… blog spaces where spoofs would be a-spoofin'”

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Andrew: “It’s not so lonely on this loser island”

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Andrew: “Like a real, dank meme”

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Andrew: “My friend. When you’re wrong, you are right”

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Andrew: Saying “I listen to your blog” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “The House of One Thousand Corpses”

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Andrew: “Y2K kinda got me”

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Andrew: “Yeah. My brain broke for a second”

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Andrew: “Yeah… but, it’s some corny shit though”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew explaining why he got a quiz question about NPR and Nixon wrong

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Andrew and Luke: “God! That is like, what… it’s like… I don’t know; like… eating ice cream (Yeah) with one hand and biting lemons with the other. Ugh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, I mean, you know, I got a lot on the line here; but, you don’t worry about it. You just go on with your little quiz… Let me just twist out here… with your ill-worded questions from the New York Times… New York Times!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Tell me everything. Leave no detail out! (Yes)”

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Luke: “Andrew, you Kimmeled with confidence”

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Luke: “DJ Luke”

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Luke: “I love confident Andrew!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “New York Times!?”

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Luke: Saying “Welcome to the House… of One… Thousand… Corpses” in a spooky manner

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Luke: “That was not fair, Andrew. I really screwed you up on that one”

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Luke: “There’s a lot of shoosh… zush [ph] in, in Portuguese that I am… so bad with”

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Luke: “Thwomp… there it is”

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Luke: “What bullshit”

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Luke: “Yeah!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “But… well, I don’t wanna put my thumb… on the scale… (But, you are. But, you are!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, if, if Phyllis Fletcher ever becomes a rapper, I want her rap name to be Phyllis-sophical… Oh, God!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I th… just thwomp one more thing on top of that? Sure, thwomp it up… Thwomp… there it is”

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