Clips From TBTL #2850

Andrew: “Buckle up, America”

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Andrew: “He’s still Chet Haze-ing it up”

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Andrew: “I don’t think you’re acting like a weirdo here”

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Andrew: “I find chunks of guys like you in my stool”

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Andrew: “I hate pictures of myself”

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Andrew: “I know that this show is now just evolved into me cracking up at a… a Twitter video that nobody else can see; but, this is goddamn delightful”

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Andrew: “I mean, that can’t be the first time, right?”

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Andrew: “I’m obviously going nowhere in my life; so, you should not listen to me when it comes to this stuff”

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Andrew: “Maybe I am just coming off as, like, a… total unreasonable snowflake here”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit, no!”

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Andrew: Singing “I’ll build a spoon for you”

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Andrew: Singing “I’ll make a spoon for you”

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Andrew: “That makes more sense”

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Andrew: “Wanna say, ‘crouch cream'”

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Andrew: “We were the young ones”

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Andrew: “Were you the one telling me? Somebody was just telling me. I swear I heard a news story second or third-hand. So… buckle up, America”

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Andrew: “What does it do for your breath if you eat punks like you… for breakfast; cuz, that’s what I do, Luke. I eat punks like you for breakfast”

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Andrew: “When I type the phrase, ‘I find chunks of guys like you in my stool’… God, I hate… Sometimes I… I do love my job… Sometimes, I… maybe hate myself”

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Andrew: “You cannot!! You cannot have swords on this flight!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning. I almost, I was trying to think. I was racking my brain… trying to think of, like, some… dumb thing I could say that would sound like a drop of me saying something dumb on a previous episode… But, the problem is, I’ve never said anything dumb… on previous episodes. So… here we are (Yep)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I find chunks of guys like you in my stool (Yes)”

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Luke: “Don’t… don’t go into it. Don’t do it. Don’t go into it. Okay. Really quickly”

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Luke: “Hit me up on my Finsta”

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Luke: “I forgot to bring a mini-to-mini cable”

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Luke: “I just… ate it up… with a spoon”

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Luke: “Man, did I feel smug this morning”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Dear God, I’m so old… So old!”

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Luke: Singing “Ooh, boy, I love you so. I’m never ever ever gonna let you go”

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Luke: “That was a thought that floated through my brain that I wasn’t capable of tamping down… So, thank you for… letting me get that out”

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Luke: “That’s a middle-aged dude staring back at me”

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Luke: “The unprotected sex of phones… The raw-dogging of phones”

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Luke: “What… the actual… eff”

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Luke: “What’s wrong with me?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just look like I’m forty-two years old. I was just, like… (Yeah. You are!) I know!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “You know I made a spoon for you” and Andrew saying “Exactly”

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Clips From TBTL #2849

Andrew: “Ah, hello there… dear listeners! I am joining you… from a place I’ve never joined you before… from the bathrooms… of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat”

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Andrew: “Ah, hello there… dear listeners! I am joining you… from a place I’ve never joined you before… from the bathrooms… of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat. Why am I talking to you from the bathroom of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat? Well, a couple of reasons. For starters… our brand new colleague, Phyllis Fletcher, is in my studio right now… editing up a storm; and, I didn’t wanna bother here”

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Andrew: “How about ‘The Self-Shaming Never-Nude’?”

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Andrew: “If this was a clothing optional studio… I would be locked eyes with Phyllis right now, like, so hardcore. My eyes would not waver from her eyes. I swear to God”

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Andrew: “Who are we?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Was your bathing suit… like… typical… trunks, or was it a Miami meat tent? What’s the situation with you? It was a flesh-colored ding-a-ling sling”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Can we just clear something up right here at the top? Are you our boss? Ders keeps saying that; so, yes… Yes”

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Luke: “Cha-chung!”

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Luke: “Clothing is just a thing we came up with as humans… to keep… random stuff from hitting our junk”

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Luke: “Everything there has been touched by someone’s taint”

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Luke: “Go, you”

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Luke: “Hi, guys! How’s it going?”

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Luke: “His… dong is like… solidly purple!”

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Luke: “How do you not mess with Werther’s, dude!?”

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Luke: “How long do I have to stay in this hot tub to justify the fifteen dollars I paid to be in this hot tub?”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna sound like a prude”

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Luke: “Stay in your lane, Walsh. No, this is not your lane”

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Luke: “This is some legit mountain man shit going on out here”

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Luke: “What is going on here!?”

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Luke: “With his… throbbing purple member!”

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Luke: “You are standing on what is effectively a stage… of nudity”

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Luke: “You don’t know me. You don’t know my life”

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Luke and Andrew: “I wanna preface all of this by saying: I’m the one who’s hung up… I am hung up… The, the human body is beautiful and natural… We should not shame. It’s kinda gross”

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Luke and Phyllis Fletcher: “Are you a… outdoors person, Fletch? Oh, hell no!”

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Luke and Phyllis Fletcher: “Beautiful… purple peens. You are crazy! Stop it!”

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Luke and Phyllis Fletcher: “But, I swear to God, Phyllis, if you ever say that to us… I am (I know) figuring out who my boss is, and I am reporting you to them (I know)”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Boop-boop!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Hardy-har-har”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “I mean… I… Uhhhh!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “It’s so mean though!!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Let me at her!!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Oh, hell no!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Oh, my!”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Please remember: No mountain to tall. And, good luck to all”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Luke: “Fuck’s wrong with you, man!? (I know!)”

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Phyllis Fletcher, Luke and Andrew: “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this; but… throbbing? Is that… Welcome to the team, Fletch! (This is really…) How would you edit this show? (Oh my God!)”

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Clips From TBTL #2848

Andrew: “Absolutely!!”

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Andrew: “Answer me this, Luke”

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Andrew: “As a future defendant, let me just say”

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Andrew: “Aw, God! That’s a hideous, awful noise it’s making”

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Andrew: “Boom-boom”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh!”

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Andrew: “Eff you!”

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Andrew: “Ergh!!”

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Andrew: “Harlan Walsh, stop naming cables!”

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Andrew: “Hell, no!”

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Andrew: “I can’t let that nerd come to my house!”

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Andrew: “I don’t need this in my life!”

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Andrew: “I just want everybody to know that this isn’t just some… rando”

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Andrew: “I… probably could’ve fixed that in post; but, I didn’t”

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Andrew: Making funny sounds

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Your moustache is caught in the track!”

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Andrew: “On what grounds!?”

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Andrew: “Or, I’m just getting punked by the Internet, again”

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Andrew: “That’s a Luke move”

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Andrew: “Yeah; but, ya parked… ya parked rudely. Polite car over here! Hey, everybody! Look at the polite car on Barry!”

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Andrew: “You’re just Lukey from the block”

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Andrew and Luke: “You said you sort of dated her; so, was she kind of stepping out on a fighter… (Yes!) pilot… boyfriend… (Yes!) with you!? Yes! No offense, (Yes!) but with you!? Some offense taken!”

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Luke: Clearing his throat and saying “I gotta Hadouken up a… kind of a throat situation here. Okay, good”

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Luke: “For some reason, that one sticks in my craw”

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Luke: “Have to say, Andrew… I’m having a thought”

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Luke: “I am… a real sketch-ball”

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Luke: “I was back there this morning, motherfucker!”

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Luke: Imitating the sound of an alarm clock going off

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oh my God… I did it… It happened. I’m on the plane with my luggage; and, now, we’re going to wherever”

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Luke: “See, this is because I’m a sketch-ball”

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Luke: “There are dozens of us… Dozens!!”

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Luke: “There is less of my butt in the seats of your airplane”

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Luke: “Time to get up and tie a lady to the train tracks!”

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Luke: “Welcome to Ball Talk”

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Luke: “Will our hero… reunite the basketball with the person who’s his possible nemesis”

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Luke: “Yeah, we’re just gonna do this now”

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Luke and Andrew: “Half-melt… dog poop… snow slush… nightmare? Ohhh! That’s the Blizzard I get, usually… if I do have a chance to go to Dairy Queen”

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Luke and Andrew: “He’s now being sued… by… Lufthansa… On what grounds!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I made a GIF, Andrew… I made an artisanal GIF the (Oh, wow) other day… Not to brag”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, man! I will watch the shit out of some History Channel… You know what’s so stupid? World War II: In Color!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Sketch-ball Burbank checking (Right) back in (Right, right, right)”

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Star Wars and TBTL Trivia Questions

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Clips From TBTL #2847: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Achoo!”

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Luke: “Andrew… I am gonna tell you something”

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Luke: “Baseball’s back, folks! The crack of the bat. The roar of the Burbank”

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Luke: “Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger”

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Luke: “Flinn… does not have my ball”

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Luke: “God, you coulda used a best friend”

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Luke: “Goldfish… you were keeping track!”

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Luke: “Hard hat, lunch pail. Hard hat, lunch pail”

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Luke: “He is Andrew ‘Oh, ‘Explicit!”… Walsh… And, he likes to pull his boop-boop out of his pocket”

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Luke: “He suck”

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Luke: “I am one… with the animals”

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Luke: “I don’t know what my face is doing most of the time”

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Luke: “I’m just like: I’m back! Burbank’s back! The… the swish of the net… the bounce of the ball… Burbank’s back”

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Luke: “Like, am I just, like, the most annoying guy on the court?”

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Luke: Making a funny nasal sound

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Luke: “Relax, Apple Watch”

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Luke: “Revenge is a dish… best served… cold”

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Luke: “See, Reader’s Digest knows that I know that they know that I know that they know… that I know that they know”

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Luke: Singing “It’s the most Toomgis time of the year”

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Luke: “So, I’m gonna… bop over to Chicago”

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Luke: “Well… dang it!”

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Luke: “You flew too high… on bullshit wings”

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Luke: “You’ve always been… life in these United States”

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Luke and Andrew: “I am really worried that Beta… O’Carotene is gonna split the vote… and… (Oh my God) bring it four more years of Trump… (Oh my God) Seriously (Uh-oh!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t wanna… start the show off on a negative note. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “I had a dream, Andrew, (Oh, wow) about trumpeting a fart”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m doing so… you know… (So, you’ll still love me) I’m farting all over you”

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Luke and Andrew: “You down with CDC? You know me”

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Luke and Andrew: “You realize what we still have to do today, though… Oh my God! We’re nowhere near done!”

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Clips From TBTL #2847: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “All of our Emilys belong to us”

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Andrew: “As a matter of fact, I’m calling bullshit on this one”

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Andrew: “Cha-ching!”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: “Eew, what am I eating? What’s a probiotic?”

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Andrew: “Give your boop-boop a ding-a-ling”

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Andrew: “Give yourself a ding-a-ling”

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Andrew: “Give yourself an ‘Uh-oh!'”

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Andrew: “Give yourself an ‘Uh-oh!'” #2

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Andrew: Having a good laugh and saying “This is so delicious! Oh, this is so great. I’m sorry”

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Andrew: “How is this boring!? How in the world do you think this is boring? This is the best… content we’ve had!”

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Andrew: “I didn’t steal your ball! I don’t care!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man”

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Andrew: “I feel like a victim of Reader’s Digest now”

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Andrew: “I’m at howstuffworks.com/human-body/system/nosethroat/canpressingupperlipstiflesneeze.htm” [ed: 404]

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Andrew: Imitating the “Uh-oh!” drop

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Andrew: “In and out”

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Andrew: “It comes from the Land Down Under!”

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Andrew: “It’s… frankly, thirsty as shit”

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Andrew: “My friend, you couldn’t be more wrong”

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Andrew: “Not that I’ve ever noticed!”

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Andrew: “Now, damnit!”

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Andrew: “Now, here’s a question for you, Lucas”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Okay, here it is. I promised you a fart”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “This is illegal”

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Andrew: Singing “I never promised you a fart garden”

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Andrew: “So, who’s the barber here?”

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Andrew: “This is either new information, or information that I misunderstood before”

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Andrew: “This is like the sneeze, only for the under-bubbles”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh” #2

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Andrew: “We didn’t say that you were ‘Uh-oh!’. We said that your actions were ‘Uh-oh!'”

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Andrew: “We have Toomgis today”

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Andrew: “What do you want, bud?”

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Andrew: “You are unequivocal; and, I will… unequivocally… give you a ding-a-ling”

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Andrew: “You know it, TBTL Baby!”

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Andrew: “You know that I’m a Dyson-head”

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Andrew: “You’ve always been humorous in uniform”

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Andrew and Luke: “Now, we’re cooking (Yeah!) with gas! Now, we’re… (Now, I’m hot!) now we’re putting butter on our burns!”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing along with the funky bass and Luke saying “Nice!”

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Andrew and Luke: “There are… nine numbers in a phone number, right, including area code? No. Ten, ten, ten. I’m an idiot (Yeah!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “They don’t say that! Nobody… nobody (Right) says that!”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is illegal… That’s fine”

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Clips From TBTL #2846

Andrew: “All of that boop-booping for nothing”

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Andrew: “But, everybody else is still playing!”

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Andrew: “California got more sunshine?”

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Andrew: “Come down, Lil’ Bow Wow!”

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Andrew: “Fake news to me… is a nothing burger”

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Andrew: “Hey, dummies!”

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Andrew: “I feel like I haven’t said anything interesting on the show so far today; so, I’m trying to… be interesting”

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Andrew: “I hate my voice”

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Andrew: “I hate this kid… No, that’s not true”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of questions for ya though”

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Andrew: “I perpetually sound… plugged up. I am plugged up today; cuz, I got a little bit of head cold. Maybe that was yesterday’s; but, every time… somebody plays my voice back to me, I’m perpetual head cold guy. I hate my voice”

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Andrew: “I’m a white dude in America”

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Andrew: “I’m perpetual head cold guy”

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Andrew: “I’m… embarrassed to kind of admit this… So, I’ll choose my words carefully; which, never works out well”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “That would be amazing”

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Andrew: “Let’s get back into this… this Draw Something bullshit”

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Andrew: “Mmm, that doesn’t scan… That sounds like bullshit to me”

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Andrew: “Oh, Jesus”

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Andrew: “Oh, that was not a… pleasant sound for anybody, including myself”

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Andrew: “Please Luke, don’t look at the clock”

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Andrew: “Please stop. I’m watching you”

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Andrew: Singing “I had duck shit in my hair”

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Andrew: “So, I pull out my little phone… pull out my little boop-boop”

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Andrew: “That solves the Burbank problem”

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Andrew: “We’re not in the same place now!”

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Andrew: “Well, I don’t wanna bullshit ya”

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Andrew and Luke: “So… kind of… anal retentive in… You know me, I have my, my methods for everything, right? (Please, never say ‘anal retentive’!)”

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Luke: “Apple Store!!”

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Luke: “But, guys! Guys! Read the room!”

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Luke: “Come on!!”

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Luke: “Hell naw!”

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Luke: “Hey listeners, could you guys… please… not… ruin… everything (This is why I can’t have nice things)”

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Luke: “I felt like such a loser!”

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Luke: “Just hadouken them”

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Luke: “Unposed and unanswered. It’s TBTL!”

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Luke: “Yeah, door number two”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dear clock… (Sorry) Why do you sound… like a typewriter? Signed, Luke Burbank”

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Luke and Andrew: “Please never talk about pulling out your little boop-boop! I just… All I did was say I pulled out my little… (It’s so dirty!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’re in garbage time now (Yeah)”

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