Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “But, yeah, I’m over here, like, yawning during your intro… one of the rare moments you and I are in the same room doing the show. I’m over here yawning and gripping my coffee like it’s a life preserver”

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Andrew: “Can’t believe I said, ‘stewardess’. What the hell is wrong with me?”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “I can’t even finish that”

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Andrew: “I love doing it together, man! We used to do together every–well…”

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Andrew: “If I’m just slumming it”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let’s start with this simple question: do you sweat during TBTL?”

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Andrew: “No, I’m gonna, I’m, I know, I need to, I need to call bullshit… it’s two-thousand, seven-hundred and thirty-seven”

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Andrew: Singing along with some funky bass

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Andrew: “The white stuff”

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Andrew: “We’ll talk, maybe, a little bit more about… about our, our fun… fun-tivities last night”

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Andrew: “Who put this on!? Raise your hand if you put this song on! We just want to congratulate you for your ballsiness”

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Andrew: “Why does this keep happening?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I need photos. I need photographic evidence of last night. I’d love to put together (Tasteful nudes) a nice… Hey… they don’t have to be tasteful”

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Andrew and Luke: “Not my watch, you son of a bitch! (Wow)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Put on your sunglasses when you tell this story… Sunglasses on, (Cool guy) shirt off, blazer back on. So many… so many rules with you Walsh!”

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Andrew and Luke: The Sinclair Must-Runs

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Do not try this at home, kids”

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Luke: “Glasses on… shirt off”

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Luke: “I can’t feel my face when I’m with you… I don’t know who that is covering that song; but, I like it… But, I like it”

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Luke: “I didn’t choose the Axe life; the Axe life chose me”

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Luke: “I’m putting these sunglasses back on; because, I’m crying… I don’t want you to see my tears”

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Luke: Imitating the closing bass line of “Right Way to Rock”

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Luke: “It’s episode two-thousand, seven-hundred and thirty-six… in a collector’s series” [ed: Nope]

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, Kanye… you were so good”

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Luke: Saying “I’m Digger… I’m a dermatophyte… I helped him write ‘Tom Traubert’s Blues’… I’m, I got co-publishing rights to ‘Tango Till They’re Sore'” as Digger the Dermatophyte

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Luke: Singing “I can’t feel my face when I’m with you”

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Luke: “Sorry, Linh”

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Luke: “Sugar tits? Sorry, kids”

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Luke: “Thank you for not saying, ‘Daddy'”

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Luke: “The crack of the bat… the hush of the crowd… Baseball’s back”

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Luke: “This is not #relatable”

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Luke: “This is such a long climb for such an incredibly short, non-relatable slide”

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Luke: “Those listeners… that we just mentioned made episode two-thousand, seven-hundred and thirty-six, in a collector’s series, possible; and, thank you very much” [ed: Nope.]

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Luke: “Watch this space for the lawsuit, by the way”

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Luke: “Well, you screwed that one up, Burbs”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, another product that… likely makes me a major douche called Axe body spray (Mmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is thinking about creating a system for him to not to screw up the episode numbers on the show sheets or spoken on the show

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Luke and Andrew: White Gravy, possible show title and possible Axe body spray scent

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Andrew: “Fuck!”

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Andrew: “Good luck with your reviews!”

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Andrew: “Gotta claim your spot!!”

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Andrew: “I spray-painted ‘Asshole’ on their window”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, everybody. I yam what I yam”

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Andrew: “In the ‘hood!!!”

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Andrew: “Moon!”

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Andrew: “Sir!!”

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Andrew: “Sometimes, it does betray that I’m a shitty listener; but, I’m really trying to be a good listener, and… I’m just dumb”

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Andrew: “Turns out, my hair was perfect… the way it was”

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Andrew: “Who am I? What do I do?”

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Andrew: “You can wait or you can leave, sir!!”

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Andrew: “You ever hear that with the rap… the rappity-rap?”

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Andrew: “You told me to come back tomorrow!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Turns out, my hair was perfect… the way it was… Thinning. Thinning!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Unfortunately, my world is a little cranker-yanker today (What!?)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You better check your brake lines, man! Dude, I don’t know where those are! I’m not a car guy!”

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Luke: “And, frankly, I’m just lazy”

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Luke: “Bonjour! Bonjour!”

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Luke: “Devil’s haircut!! Devil’s haircut!!”

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Luke: “Don’t praise the machine; and, don’t spoil it for the listeners”

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Luke: “Don’t turn your man into a sperm bank!”

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Luke: Doot-dooing a song

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Luke: “I don’t want Carey to pass away”

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Luke: “I like mittens”

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Luke: “I mean, this is not that hard of a job”

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Luke: “I was like… ‘What!!? Why can’t I… profit from your death, the way you’re profiting from my death!?’ Why am I talking like Seinfeld?”

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Luke: “I’m gonna… I’m gonna rue, I’m gonna rue saying this; but…”

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Luke: “Is life pounding away at your intimacy?”

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Luke: “Is life pounding away at your intimacy? Somebody hasn’t had their crank yanked in while, I’ll tell you that”

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Luke: “Jesus… Christ!!”

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Luke: “Nobody puts Baby in an age bracket”

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Luke: “Oh, shit! I didn’t know this was really the show!”

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Luke: “Okay. Now, I’m in the right frame of mind”

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Luke: “Okay… We’re doing the show. I thought that we were just testing the levels still”

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Luke: Singing “I like it just the way you are”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t like yanking being thrown around… (Okay. Alright) I don’t like yanking on cranks… (What I meant to say was…) ever on this show”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thought Andrew’s hair looked nice, Andrew wanted Luke to sniff it and Luke doesn’t want to yank Andrew’s crank

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Luke and Andrew: “Siri… give me websites on how to cut hair. Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s wrong? (What are you doing?) You’re all dead inside! What are you doing?”

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Andrew: “Exactly! No, you’re wrong!!”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “I have not been back. I need to go back; but, now, I am scared”

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Andrew: “I just burn bridges wherever I go”

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Andrew: “I love those old east coast towns. I love… I love the smell of Philadelphia. I love the subway”

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Andrew: “I think they’ve had a few funny people come out of Chicago. I’d have to check the records”

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Andrew: “I’m on the record! I stand by that one… I stand by that drop. Good job, everybody involved!”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry. I won’t be able to find the rap part of this, apparently; and, I have let you, I’ve let the listener down, I’ve wasted a lot of valuable time”

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Andrew: “I’m still burned by this”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, if anybody wants me to move to Philly, just make it a low bar. Just let me stay with you… forever… Just e-mail me at andrew@tbtl.net and offer me up your home… Thank you”

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Andrew: “Mind the cucumber”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: Singing “Growing Pains. Growing here and there and everywhere. Growing adventure beyond compare. They are the Growing Pains”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting and laughing

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Andrew: “Yeah!!”

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Andrew: “You are so wrong. And, you didn’t live there; and, so, I’m right. And, shut up”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know! Honestly. Really!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where are you? I’m coming to find you! (What!!?!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoa! What am I bumping in with here? (Yeah)”

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Luke: “And, we didn’t get into this entertainment game to be stressed out, you guys!”

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Luke: “Carey thinks I’ve lost my damn mind”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Do you know what that’s a reference to!?”

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Luke: “I don’t often drink beer; but, when I do, it’s… Mic Ultra”

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Luke: “I got something to say!!”

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Luke: “I know that you don’t want me to bring this back up again; so, why am I doing it?”

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Luke: “I’m going with door number two!!”

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Luke: “I’m gonna get you out of this joke that you’re having a hard time thinking of”

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Luke: “Keep calm and cucumber”

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Luke: “Look at me. I’m a, I’m an adult”

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Luke: “Oh, no!!!”

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Luke: “Okay! Easy, cat! You’re on my last nerve”

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Luke: “Ru-dog… you ready for this? Okay… That makes one of us”

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Luke: Singing “Here we are… face-to-face. A couple of growing pains”

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Luke: Singing “You’ve been diagnosed with Seiver’s condition”

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Luke: Singing the “Seinfeld” theme, but calling it the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” theme

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Luke: Singing the opening notes to what Luke calls “Silver Spoons” by blink-182

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Luke: “Sorry to start the show off on a slightly grimy note”

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Luke: “The dog’s… breath… is a problem”

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Luke: “This is absolutely ridiculous!! You… gotta be kidding me!!”

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Luke: “Who cares! We all fart, bro… Move on to actual reporting for once, instead of beating a dead horse… We’ve heard enough”

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Luke: “You… just… blew… my mind”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke references Dixville Notch, a solid New Hampshire joke, and gets his Granite cred back

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Luke and Andrew: “Okay. This is actually happening. This is the thing you’ve heard to much about… the end of your life… So, you’ve had sex!? No, but I’ve been dead this entire episode”

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Andrew: “Chicka-chicka-chicka”

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Andrew: “Come the eff on!”

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Andrew: “Don’t say… don’t do this again, Dad!”

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Andrew: “From… from -pusses to -pi”

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Andrew: “Goddamn! She is, like, a national… G-d treasure!”

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Andrew: “I guess we’re just gonna do this here”

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Andrew: Imitating warning alarm sounds

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Andrew: “It was kind of awesome!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Now, I’m to the point where, every morning, man… I just, I gotta take some Molly just to get right!”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit! I forgot! We’re an… we’re an hour forty into this!”

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Andrew: “Oh!! Ah!! Damn!! Quick! Quick, quick, quick rewind!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “You’re sure that’s what they mean?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Now, I’m to the point where, every morning, man… I just, I gotta take some Molly just to get right! I just, I left that in the clear so that Linh can pull that…”

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Luke: “Ah, misophonia! Ooh, Rumpelstiltskin. You say you wanna get in my Benz”

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Luke: “Arby’s! We have the meats!”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “He’s just… an asshole!”

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Luke: “I know it doesn’t sound very good… Low-carb pizza is right behind stoned-ass lobsters in terms of things you really wanna eat”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to poo-poo any of that”

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Luke: “Inverta-Brits… ‘Ello, Guv’nor!”

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Luke: “It is a mind-bleep!”

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Luke: Making a Hulk-like sound

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Luke: Making gear buzzing sounds

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Luke: “Now, it’s happening… this is… I’m hulking out into… non-planned show talk”

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Luke: Saying “‘ello, guv’nor! I’m upside-down!” in a Cockney accent

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Luke: “That’s a donor, bro!”

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Luke: “That’s a donor, bro… of the day!”

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Luke: “This is a very Luke Burbankian resp–like, response to the problem”

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Luke: “We are gonna have a… a No Point Conversion… for the ages!”

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Luke: “What is that kid!?!”

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Luke: “Yeah, buddy!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a donor, bro… of the day! (I’m calling that the show title) We’re seeing something… we ain’t never seen since… Thursday of last week”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know who else we should protect at all cost. Yes, I do!”

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Andrew: “Dude, I was taping the game. Son of a bitch! I did it again!”

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Andrew: “Dude… I was taping the game… Did you seriously–Did the… did Cleveland win? Are you not playing along with us?”

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Andrew: “Dude… self-trained… Totally self-trained”

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Andrew: “Eww”

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Andrew: “Hunh”

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Andrew: “I am now officially annoyed with you”

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Andrew: “I coulda died happy right there”

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Andrew: “I know my brain is bad”

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Andrew: “I’m a real card”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m sure we’re… just jinxing the shit out of ourselves here”

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Andrew: Imitating the El Ropo whistle

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Andrew: “Just end it there… It ain’t getting better than that shit”

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Andrew: “Just kidding. I watched the game live, Luke… I’m a… I’m… I’m a real card”

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Andrew: Making a kissing sound

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Andrew: “Mwah!”

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Andrew: “Now, I have this big list of, like, good shit”

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Andrew: “QFC… Still love you, QFC”

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Andrew: “Something’s broken in me, I guess”

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Andrew: “Thanks, Wikipedia!”

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Andrew: “Trust me… You need me to filibuster, my friend? I can filibuster!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, Luke!! Lukie B! Lukie B!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think this might be a ‘True River’ show… This is going to be a ‘River of Souls’!”

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Andrew and Luke: Poddy Awards

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Andrew and Luke: “You’d be, ‘LukeBurbank420’. Come on… Got a minute? LukeBurbank419!!!”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Hi everybody! You can stay too”

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Luke: “I mean, I say the weirdest things if people ask me what my job is”

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Luke: “I will… end you!”

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Luke: “I’m stopping myself; because, what I’m starting to say sounds really braggy”

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Luke: “Man! Viral hits are overrated. Why? Well, cuz, we’re not a viral hit”

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Luke: Quiet “God bless America”

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Luke: Saying “And, we have this guy” in a drawn out, sing-songy manner

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Luke: Saying “I sent my Boo a snack… I guess that makes me bad” as Andy Rooney

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Luke: Singing “Because I got high… Because I got high, because I got high”

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Luke: “Stay in your lane!!!”

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Luke: “Stop the show!”

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Luke: “We’re gonna be… a viral hit!”

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Luke: “Well, listen, man! We all fart! Get over it!”

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Luke: Whispering “I do think I’m an expert”

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Luke: “Whoa!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I sent my Boo a snack… I guess that makes me bad… Just end it there… It ain’t getting better than that shit”

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Luke and Andrew: Re-doing the intro towards the end of the show and Andrew pulls the same joke he used at the start of the show

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