Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “And then, here’s the one to, kinda, bring up the nose on the negativity train again”

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Andrew: “But, just like, getting rid of the constant… the constant, ‘Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!’ as been just so, I mean, it’s just so freeing”

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Andrew: Coughing

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Andrew: “Have you met me?”

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Andrew: “I hear nothing… I hear nothing but your tales… of shoe-ventures”

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Andrew: “I th–think you have the completely wrong takeaway here… We got a new listener because people booed you”

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Andrew: “I think I’m really taking this to Tedium Town”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh!!”

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Andrew: “Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping”

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Andrew: Saying “‘Ello, Mrs. Torrance” as Tony from The Shining

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Andrew: “Shove the boos where the… sun don’t shine… ya jerks!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Thinking about calling people ‘bozo’ more”

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Andrew: “This would all just be… water off my back like a duck. That’s not the expression. I am really… boy… that’s my new thing: destroying expressions”

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Andrew: “Watch that first step. It’s a doozy”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the show, new sponsor, The Shoe Parlor”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the world of us berating listeners”

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Andrew: “You’re booing because I’m a ghost! That’s good. There! I just solved the problem. That doesn’t even make any sense”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I gotta give it to… über-listener Linh Pham for having the best spoof. He tweeted at Chris Hayes last night and said… ‘Are you sure you were singing that; or, just playing the file down the line?’ Which is a… (The same thought I was having…) very… very good question. Exact thought I was having… Linh and I… always on the same page. Great minds, thinking alike.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did you say, ‘steamed lambs’? And, we have our first… albeit, somewhat upsetting, show title”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, how’s your podcast!? Exactly”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s a power out, man! Hell, yeah”

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Luke: “Agh! I did it again!”

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Luke: “And, ol’ Needlenose Burbank”

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Luke: “Give me a three-oh-five and ten! Three-oh-five and ten!”

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Luke: “I can’t function in this city… for the next two days in these shoes”

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Luke: “I eat stickers… every day”

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Luke: “Luuuuuuke!”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I’m your host; coming to you today… from New York Jersey! (New York City!?)”

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Luke: Saying “It’s… it’s no joke!” in a Pennsylvania or Philly accent

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Luke: Singing “Welcome to my shoe parlor”

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Luke: “Somewhere upstairs… there’s a poor… summabitch… Sorry, McCoy”

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Luke: “That sounds promising”

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Luke: “That’s a Utica thing… I think”

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Luke: “Who are you to tell me what to do!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, I’ve been trying to, like… kind of, carefully pack and not over-pack; because, there just wasn’t a lotta room… Yeah, if you bring too pairs of shoes, you can only bring four electric toothbrushes… Shout out to sponsor, Quip!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I consider myself a Maxxinista. Mmh”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey. A kiddley divey too, will you?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Out of context… happiness… Out of context… jockularity… Out of context… invites to come play with us, Danny. Ha!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You did Donors of the Day yesterday, right? Yeah. You know, I was about say, now did I mark them on the spreadshee though”

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Andrew: “Genevieve calls it my ‘fun bag'”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “I’m not… fucking snuggling with these people; excuse my language”

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Andrew: “Maria, calm down!”

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Andrew: “Nope. Don’t care”

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Andrew: “Poo-poo on you-you”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: “Stop pinching my lifestyle, Luke!”

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Andrew: “This society is all phony, baloney”

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Andrew and Luke: “God darn matinee! It was twelve dollars and fifty cents. A matinee is now twelve bucks?”

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Andrew and Luke: Whispering “Yeah, what’s up? Well, when I… got here, to your neighborhood”

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Luke: “A Saab driven by an S.O.B… The irony… the irony, my friend”

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Luke: “But then, it gets, it gets real Armenian, real fast!”

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Luke: “Coming to you from the Burbank–wait… not the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center… the offices of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat in the Wallingford neighborhood… of Seattle, Washington!”

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Luke: “I am so, so sorry that I don’t know my, I don’t know my Gabes from my Gabs!”

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Luke: “I have got a cloud to go yell at”

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Luke: “Is it too early to get a perch sandwich?”

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Luke: “It’s a mop-top with a secret”

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Luke: “It’s a real combo platter”

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Luke: “It’s apropos of something”

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “Oh my God, dude. This so takes me back!!!”

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Luke: Saying “Detroit” in a faux French manner

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Luke: “They’re twins; that’s gross”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “Which was… quite something to behold and behear”

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Luke: “You are just getting… completely pwned by the… you and, and Genevieve, as a family unit… are getting pwned by the traffic of this town”

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Luke: “You… quite literally… almost… can’t get there from here”

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Luke and Andrew: “How I Met Your Mother. How I Met Your Sheriff”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, what the heck… It’s a Monday morning. Yeah… It’s a Monday afternoon!”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “My mom… particularly, you know, in her 30s and 40s, despite having eight children… My mom was like… She ate children!? Yes! How… What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That is not cool. No, it’s very uncool! Yeah. But, you know what, though? I am over it… cuz, I’m, I’m different Andrew now”

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Andrew: “Ahh, that’ll show him”

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Andrew: “And, it was on Christmas, man! It was on Christmas!”

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Andrew: “And, this was before I was known as, you know, Parking Warrior Andrew”

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Andrew: “Are you outta gas yet?”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit”

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Andrew: “Big mood!”

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Andrew: “But, again, I’m an old, I’m an old white guy; don’t ask me stuff like this”

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Andrew: “Genevieve did not like… That was not… that was not… I should’ve just…”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “He’s the one that makes you feel so-so”

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Andrew: “Hey, nice compact car!”

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Andrew: “Holy macaroons!”

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Andrew: “Honk! I’ll show you! Hooooonk!”

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Andrew: “Hooooonk!”

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Andrew: “I almost called the… the gas police on myself”

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Andrew: “I don’t… Mmm… I don’t wanna get weird right off… the top of the show… I don’t wanna set a… the wrong tone… but, you’re intro was incredibly appropriate for me today”

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Andrew: “I, I don’t know”

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Andrew: “I’m like a, I’m like a cow. I have two stomachs and two skulls”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is a dumbass!”

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is a dumbass! He’s the YouTube jerk face. Right, right, right”

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is such a dumbass!”

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Andrew: “Nice electric car, asshole!”

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Andrew: “Now, I sound like a… jerk”

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Andrew: “So, I hoped you learned your lesson, Jami! Thanks a lot!”

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Andrew: “That’s when, like, the traffic monster… you know… raises his ugly head”

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Andrew: “They call me, Dr. Nuance”

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Andrew: “Your SUV is not a compact car, butthead”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew clip-clopping and Luke making an excited sound and neighing

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew clip-clopping and Luke saying “And just like that… he rode off into the night”

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Andrew and Luke: “You can’t always get what you want… stupid. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, I fantasize about that sometimes; but, then, even in my fantasies… I always come back around to being like, ‘No, that’s a bad idea.’ Not, not… the, not the you aspect of it… but… Oh yeah, the me aspect of it”

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Luke: “Because, there… there were storms, my friends. There were storms on the east coast that was messing everything up”

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Luke: “Dinking around”

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Luke: “Don’t do it… Luke’s brain… Don’t… convince him to… talk more about… multi-sport athlete Russell Wilson”

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Luke: “Don’t, nobody get mad at me, okay?”

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Luke: “Get out of my life! What are you, me!?”

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Luke: “I’ll give that a medium mood”

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Luke: “No way, José”

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Luke: “Oh, really!?”

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Luke: Singing “He’s the one they call Dr. Nuance! He’s the one that makes you feel so-so!”

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Luke: “The donors are coming! The donors are coming!”

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Luke: “This is why we can’t have nice contests”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “They said, ‘Yasss!’ No, they didn’t… They probably don’t say, ‘Yas'”

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While Luke and Andrew were announcing the top 10 winners of the TBTL Challenge, Andrew proactively made a fanfare sound ahead, thinking that Luke might need one. This kicked off a series of fanfare and clip-clop sounds being made after announcing each of the winners.

Andrew and Luke: Fanfares and Clip-clops

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Andrew: “And that’s where the trouble starts”

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Andrew: “Back up, back up! Little bit of context here; so, you don’t think I’m a total… crazy person”

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Andrew: “Can I tell you a weird story from my past?”

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Andrew: “Everything was going perfectly… and then, you had to bring up the Nazis”

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Andrew: “Graphic content warning”

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Andrew: “Hello! I’m doing something that is very Luke and very Andrew… at the same time”

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Andrew: “I hope the listeners learned a lesson there, though. With the right tone… he can be stopped! Just sound concerned!”

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Andrew: “I like to go to my weed shop, it’s called ‘Stems and Seeds'”

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Andrew: “If I want a dose of the pure shit, I gotta go to KIXI”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing #5

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Andrew: Making a fanfare sound

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Andrew: Making a fanfare sound #2

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Andrew: Making a fanfare sound #3

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Andrew: Making his own sound effect

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Andrew: “Pardon me… Pardon me… That’s the angry soup… coming back to get me”

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Andrew: “Pop it in the ThinkPad!”

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Andrew: Singing “I need a new soup… one without all the meatballs”

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Andrew: Singing “One that has more egg and spinach”

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Andrew: “So, I’m totally Dukakising it here, right now”

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Andrew: “Sometimes when it’s really dry out… or hot and dry, my uncle will, will refer to it as being ‘drier than a popcorn fart'”

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Andrew: “This is going even better than I could’ve possibly imagined!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I believe you’re confusing a popcorn fart with a Pringle fart again, Luke. Oh, yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: Making fanfare and clip-clop sounds

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Andrew and Luke: Making fanfare sounds and Luke saying “Clip-clop, clip-clop”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoooooo! (Whoooooo!) This is fun… we have fun”

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Luke: “Classy, sassy… and a bit smart-assy”

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Luke: “For sharks”

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Luke: “I’m gonna walk in there and I’m just gonna go, ‘YOLO'”

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Luke: “I’m not gonna do that to you”

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Luke: “In the words of Susie… ‘YOLO. YODO'”

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Luke: Making fanfare and party horn sounds

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Luke: “Oh my God! Those poor bastards!”

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Luke: Sniffling

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Luke: “That is a real solid… a real solid from this person”

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Luke: “This is hitting your earballs”

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Luke: “Will you do me this kindness?”

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Luke: “You do you. YOLO”

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Luke and Andrew: “I feel like this is a story… somebody dies in this story. I feel like that’s what this build-up is… No. It’s… Okay. But, there’s a phallus… Oh. I liked your reaction there!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m glad that you… I’m glad you dove on this grenade… I didn’t even… (of making up the nicknames) I didn’t, I didn’t know it was a grenade when I jumped on it. I thought it was a grapefruit”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke said to try to stop him from thanking the donors of the day and Andrew succeeded

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Clip-clop. Clip-clop” and Andrew drumming out a horse trotting rhythm

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Luke and Andrew: Making fanfare sounds

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Andrew: Clearing his throat

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Andrew: “Clone Dog Millionaire”

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Andrew: “Did you forget something?”

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Andrew: “Go in my top drawer over there… You’ll find some beakers. Just start mixing things up… I got big plans”

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Andrew: “I have, well, I have one quickie”

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Andrew: “I noticed that you came in here today with a necklace of thumb drives”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ! That’s bad”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!!! That’s right! That’s him!”

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Andrew: Saying “Sexual Hygiene!” in a booming voice

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Andrew: “So, there’s gonna be a lot of slingblading during the… during the show today”

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Andrew: “That’s really some… hand-clappy, boot-stompy stuff right there, isn’t it?”

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Andrew: “Why is Rudy wearing a mask all the time?”

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Andrew and Luke: “All of that is to say is, I would never clone Theo; because, he is a problem cat, as much I love him. But, Genevieve… (Hope he doesn’t hear this) Well… doors are closed”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew not letting Luke live down bringing four electric toothbrushes on a trip

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Andrew and Luke: “Because you’re away from home for a long time… I mean, (Yeah) people like being at home. Who you talking to? Well, right… one of our nation’s leading recluses”

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Andrew and Luke: “I was actually gonna take the other path today… (Mmm) Is that also an option… just go out there and fail?”

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Andrew and Luke: “More dull, huh? More dull! I, what you meant to say was, will I actually be dull for the first time (Yes) on TBTL ever”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sexual Hygiene! Like that… Oh, wow. I’ve never seen you blush before… that’s what it looks like. When I get that feeling, I want… sexual hygiene”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s, uh, how that works. Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s… my secret! Ooh!”

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Luke: “Geez!!”

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Luke: “Gepetic diversity”

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Luke: “He has nine thousand ping-pong balls on his face!”

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Luke: “I don’t understand… technology”

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Luke: “Just a little dab will do ya”

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Luke: Saying “I want my giant dog now!” as a spoiled brat

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Luke: Singing “I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no head”

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Luke: Singing “Papa, can you hear me?”

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Luke: “There must be something about… the soul of a Reynolds”

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Luke: “Well, good morning everybody!”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “What… am I doing wrong!?”

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Luke: “Why do you ruin my life!!? All I want is a dog! I work thirty jobs! Can I get… a high-priced, designer dog when I want one!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, he actually had a podcast… (Oh, great) but, he’s looking to. I know”

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Luke and Andrew: “Why do you ruin my life!!? All I want is a dog! I work thirty jobs! Can I get… a high-priced, designer dog when I want one!? So, you sound fun. Oh, yeah… Laugh a minute”

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Luke: “A plunging neckline of unbuttoned… buttons”

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Luke: “Common is selling out!”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Decided to get back… get back into that rotten stuff last night”

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Luke: “Gonna hope that nobody… who shouldn’t hear this… hears this”

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Luke: “How about you try a new move, Burbank?”

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Luke: “I just gotta be me, I guess”

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Luke: “I wanna hear where this is going”

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Luke: “Is it a little wet sometimes in there? Sure!”

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Luke: Laughing to the funny bass line in “Right Way to Rock”

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Luke: “Listen… I’ll say, I’ll say it again… and then, I’ll shut up”

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Luke: “No flippin’ way”

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Luke: “No. I don’t want some, some dry-ass… some dry-ass… folded paper towel… packs on my dry ass”

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Luke: “O… MG”

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Luke: “Oh my God… who farted?”

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Luke: “Power shout”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Oh, shit. That’s Common’s real name”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Then we came to Shaolin Land”

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Luke: Reading the lyrics to “Wild Hogs 2”

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Luke: Saying “But I love…! But I love Common” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Can I have some more Taco Time please?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Somebody… describing through ASMR… the experience of pulling… a plastic… protective cover off of a microwave… that you didn’t even know was on… the microwave door… for… four to five years… And then, one day, you just looked at the microwave door differently and noticed, ‘Oh yeah, there is a little cover;’ and then, you peeled it off, and… the, the microwave door, the glass, was so clean. So… so clean” in an ASMR-like manner

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Luke: Saying “Somebody… describing through ASMR… the experience of pulling… a plastic… protective cover off of a microwave… that you didn’t even know was on… the microwave door… for… four to five years… And then, one day, you just looked at the microwave door differently and noticed, ‘Oh yeah, there is a little cover;’ and then, you peeled it off, and… the, the microwave door, the glass, was so clean. So… so clean” in an ASMR-like manner (Half-speed)

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Luke: Singing “There’s a right way to rock! There’s a wrong way to roll” and strumming his guitar

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Luke: Singing along to “Right Way To Rock”

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Luke: “So, thank you, everybody, for letting me get out of my brain; and, putting my evil inside you”

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Luke: “Why not just live not quite so más?”

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Luke: “Yeah… I get it”

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Luke: “You can boop-boop around”

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Luke: “You got purged!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Aloha! It means hello… and… you’re eating too much, Andrew”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew hums along with the Doogie Howser M.D. theme while Luke gets into the e-mail segment

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s the Purge!! Right. It’s the APM Purge!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s just keep it moving; because, I just about to say something hurtful for no reason. About me? You can say it about me. (No!) No. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Of… all the days! (I know) Of… all the days!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh my God… (Oh, God!) Do we have to listen to you tune it?”

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Luke and Andrew: “The unfunny valley? The unfunny valley”

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Luke and Andrew: “We can do it! (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know it, baby? You know it, ba–You know it, baby!”

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