Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: Andrew needs a show title

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Andrew: “Did you say one is called the ‘Flipper-Flopper’?”

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Andrew: “He’s in between meows right now.”

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Andrew: “Huge left turn here.”

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Andrew: “I apologize, everybody, for being a liar on this show.”

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Andrew: “I do feel like, I was in a, I said a lot of weird, weird-ass shit today; and, I apologize for that. I don’t think I’m fully here.”

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Andrew: “I don’t think you should write it down.”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to sound like a, a, a poopy pants.”

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Andrew: “I love being home, even when I’m home all the time. I’m not even kidding!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Perfect!”

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Andrew: “Mr. Gorbachev, buttress that pillar!”

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Andrew: “Not that you’re not interesting, Luke. You’re very interesting.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God.”

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Andrew: “Think about it people… Think about it!”

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Andrew: “This is how I become a liar. This is we all become liars.”

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Andrew: “Well, what’ya think, ya dummies!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew acted like he was pretty high

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Andrew and Luke: “How many times do you interrupt yourself just to say, ‘You’re listening to Luke Burbank, Seattle’s News, Seattle’s Half-Broken Patient’? All the time? Yes. (Okay) All the time.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I also apologize for what I’m about to say… Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ll jump to the point, let’s try something new. Ha!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That is your classic ‘Oh, Andrew’ moment right there. Ugh, so painful! (Oh, man)”

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Luke: “Clear your mind, everybody, and the rest will follow. Be color blind and don’t be so shallow. In the words of En Vogue.”

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Luke: Doing a Ronald Reagan impression, saying “Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall and make this open-concept kitchen.”

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Luke: Doing an impression of his wife doing an impression of Tarek El Moussa saying “When you see mold, your blood runs cold.”

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Luke: “Ha!!!”

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Luke: “I consider him, really, an innocent champion of honesty.”

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Luke: “I don’t know if the podcast can have interesting stuff”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Reading a haiku sent in by Dazzling Donor Matthew Lang with the wrong cadance

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Luke: “Sweet, sweet haiku.”

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Luke: “Thank God!”

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Luke: “This right here, what you’re listening to, this is the podcart that might just be Too Beautiful To Live.”

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Luke: “Yay!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, let’s not turn this into a busy-off, okay? Let’s not, yes… Let’s not turn this into a bizzing contest.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because I only need therapy every other week, Andrew. I’m not that messed up… Yeah, you’re, you’re… You’re only half-broken.”

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Luke and Andrew: Swaddler

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Luke and Andrew played a TBTL Voicemail Line Jingle from the show’s Dazzling Donor, Dr. Jim Hsu, as part of his Dazzling Donor message:

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Andrew: “Blah, blah, blah.”

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Andrew: “I need more time!”

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Andrew: “I would like to apologize to the citizens of Tallanasty.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: Marsupial Gurgle Name Drop

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Andrew: “Oh, my.”

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Andrew: “Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga.”

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Andrew: “That’s what turns my brown upside down… right there.”

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Andrew: “The Big Guava”

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Andrew: “Umm, I’ve been having dreams about, like, choking everybody I know. No, I’m just joking.”

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Andrew: “Why are you fucking downloading Law and Order!?!”

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Andrew: “You don’t have to go to Friday’s, but you can’t stay here.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew needed a buffet of some kind

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Luke: “And it was sublime.”

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Luke: Attempting a Columbo impression by saying “I was listening to your program on my car radio.”

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Luke: Attempting to do a Christopher Walken impression

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Luke: “Don’t people get diarrhea from that?”

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Luke: “I mean, I would be a hard no on that.”

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Luke: “I was able to smuggle in all of the Head and Shoulders shampoo that I’ve stored in my rectum.”

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Luke: “I was knee-deep in the hoopla last night.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let me recombobulate that!”

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Luke: “Let me, let me further unpack that.”

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Luke: Saying “Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Rubber baby bubby…” in a Columbo-like voice

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Luke: “Sun Sauce!”

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Luke: TBTL Late Checkout Drinking Game

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Luke: “The diet’s going well, by the way.”

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Luke: “What an S-hole. Look at us, aren’t we, aren’t we ironic?”

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Luke: “What’s, what’s been turning your brown right side down?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke apologizing to the listeners for everything

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Luke and Andrew: Luke continues to do his Columbo impression and Andrew wishes that room service could hear it from outside

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Luke and Andrew: Luke doing his Hank Hill impression

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Luke and Andrew: Sun Sauce

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Luke and Andrew: “Umm, we tried to go to a place called ‘The Jerk Hut’. Oh, my.”

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Andrew: “And, if you said this and I zoned out for a second, I know I’m often guilty of that.”

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Andrew: “Are you shitting me?”

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Andrew: “But, this is not a dive bar.”

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Andrew: Clicking his tongue

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Andrew: “I wouldn’t kick that jukebox out of bed for eating crackers.”

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Andrew: “It’s actually pronounced, ‘Wally-wok-ay’.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Millions of fourteen year olds were about to lose their religion.”

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Andrew: “Ooh, cuz you’re like a, like a Crazzling Creeper.”

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Andrew: “Shit!”

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Andrew: Singing “That’s Kelly in a Corolla!”

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Andrew: “Tell me everything.”

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Andrew: “They’re my digital night shorts.”

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Andrew: “You could be playing some Slaughter a cappella shit.”

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Luke: “Because of my very sexy snoring.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Come get me, motherfuckers!”

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Luke: “Did somebody, at some point, eat crackers in bed and get kicked out? That is one of the weirdest idioms… Is that an idiom?”

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Luke: “Forking A!”

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Luke: “Ha-ha!”

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Luke: “I don’t understand technology, Andrew. I assume it’s mostly witchcraft.”

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Luke: “I mean, it must be directly from Satan’s bowels.”

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Luke: “I wonder what’s gonna happen when the, the army from the north tries to take Crazzling’s Creep.”

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Luke: “I’m like the Jeff Foxworthy of dive bars. You may be…  in a… That’s more like Larry the Cable Guy, probably.”

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Luke: “I’m, I’m not getting near that part of my dog’s situation.”

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Luke: “It’s dolphinately for sharks”

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Luke: “Many, many monies.”

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Luke: “Not… hardly. Oh, yeah!!!”

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Luke: Saying “Who are the travel wizards” in a Columbo-like voice

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Luke: Scatting

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Luke: “Thank you for the feedback, from everybody, about her butt problems.”

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Luke: “That poor, poor woman. What she would have seen if she were to open that door.”

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Luke: “That’s how that works!”

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Luke: “That’s Kelly in the corner. That’s Kelly in the spotlight, elevating his ankle.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Also, Andrew, I am, I’ve done the whole show in a towel. Really? Yeah. Oof.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But it would be a real eyeful for that poor housekeeping staff, so… Well, it’s an earful for us. Eyefuls and earfuls on this Friday.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Guess what? Oh, there it is!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I like the brown note, Andrew. I know. I make no apologies about it; but, here’s the thing… It’s the brown frown. So… Turn that brown upside down.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a weird, little footnote of history, right? Really is. Yeah.”

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Andrew: “And just like, tchooo!”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m a glutton for punishment.”

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Andrew: “I do!”

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Andrew: “I know we have a few minutes, don’t worry.”

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Andrew: “I never, ever, ever thought I would say this to you; but, do you have, like, any thoughts on the future of podcasting or something else we can talk about?”

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Andrew: “My Scion rims!”

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Andrew: “Okay then, forget I said anything; cuz, I’m not gonna try to describe it.”

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Andrew: “People don’t really talk like people!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Sounds like Brain Candy.”

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Andrew: “What’s going on in there?”

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Andrew and Luke: “And I listen to the Mariners ff–shit the bed… again! Yes! Good stuff. Good stuff. Really good stuff.”

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Andrew and Luke: TBTL is like a crappy car

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Luke: “Ahh, good, good stuff.”

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Luke: “As long as they don’t talk about dog bungholes the whole show, I, I assume I’ll enjoy the show for a long time.”

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Luke: “As per ush.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “I also like turtles.”

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Luke: “I just… don’t… give… a…. crap.”

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Luke: “I’m sorry, Pod-dog is harassing the S out of me right now, Walsh.”

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Luke: “It’s a real, it’s a real shit show over here sometimes, Walsh.”

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Luke: “Oh my God, that’s the guy from Super Password!”

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Luke: “Pod-dog! (Perro) Pod-dog is nowhere to be found.”

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Luke: Saying “This is the body I got” and then singing the McDonald’s “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle

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Luke: “She, then, decided to, how would I describe this… drag her dog anus across the entire carpet, here, in the Broadcast Center at Burbank Springs.”

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Luke: “Shit got kinda real.”

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Luke: “This cannot be happening to me right now!”

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Luke: “Wow! Three minutes into the show, huh? That’s, uh, when you decide to roll in, huh Pod-dog?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And by us, I mean me, not Andrew; because, he’s zero help in that department. (Gahhh!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Burbank Hall, Burbonk Hall, and Burbonkal

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Luke and Andrew: Columbo Role Playing

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Luke and Andrew: “Don’t blame Dale. (Right!) It’s not Dale’s fault.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Normals like it. (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yes we can. Okay, good.”

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Andrew: “Am I, am I a swinger now?”

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Andrew: Blowing a Raspberry

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Andrew: “But, he’s still solid! You know what I mean, like, he’s still, he’s still Ira.”

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Andrew: Cute Chuckle

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Andrew: “First of all, I’m not editing this show.”

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Andrew: Funny Laugh

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Andrew: “Here’s the story behind this hot dog story.”

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Andrew: “I ca–I don’t understand the Internet anymore.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know man.”

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Andrew: “I won’t embarrass myself by messing up more names.”

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Andrew: “I’m learning this week just how much you can get away with, without actually reading the articles.”

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Andrew: “If I just become a more vor, voracious… Yeah, I should become a more voracious reader, I’ll learn what words mean.”

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Andrew: “Point of the story is, never listen to anything I ever say.”

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Andrew: “That’s just my Andrew Walsh gut talking from my user experience.”

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Andrew: “Uh, yeah.”

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Andrew: “We need to stop, we need to stop for a second… for real. This is driving you crazy. You, are now, you’re trying to kinda, you are literally Burbanking this.”

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Andrew: “We were wishing upon the same bright star, Luke.”

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Andrew: “You know, I feel like I, I feel like I pooped the bed with this topic twice yesterday.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then I fought with the brown lawn all summer long. Who won? Lawn.”

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Andrew and Luke: “As long as Tuesday is ‘Take Flight Tuesday’ we’re good. Take Flight Tuesday, Nautical Wednesday, and I Give Up Thursday.”

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Luke: “Aaaaggh, they’re back!!!”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Fireball’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Audio levels be damned.”

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Luke: Glider or Cessna of Podcast Listening

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Luke: “I am a radical isotope you don’t need bouncing around the world angry at you.”

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Luke: “I am, right now, staring at two new mole hills.”

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Luke: “I don’t even see grass color.”

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Luke: “I just felt like yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to let the listeners know what a big deal I am.”

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Luke: “Now, we have people that donate money to this show, and God bless ’em for doing so.”

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Luke: Singing “When I get Audible, I go crazy!”

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Luke: “That sounds like something dirty.”

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Luke: “Uh, yes, Andrew!”

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Luke: “What the fuck did I do with my life!”

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Luke: “What’s up, buddy? What’s up buddy?”

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Luke: “You know, you create a tin pan alley of podcastery.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, you know what? I got an e-mail today from a listener. A listener! We have one! I knew it!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s see if we can use the patented (Uh-oh) squirrel call to get Pod-dog in here.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke playing with the squirrel toy while Andrew is talking

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Luke and Andrew: “Okay, Andrew. Let’s get (Okay) real. (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: Penis Talk

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Andrew: “Aww, don’t do that!”

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Andrew: Disgusted groan over Dazzling Details drop

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Andrew: “Do you have the Running Fargesia and the Boogie Woogie Blues?”

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Andrew: “I am legit lost here.”

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Andrew: “I get it. I know when your birthday is this year, I’ll get you a gift this year. Jesus!”

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Andrew: “I hate puns!”

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Andrew: “I think it was exactly two minutes in when you first used the word, ‘genitalia’.”

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Andrew: “I’m just like opening up my Tweeters.”

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Andrew: “I’m just ready to be dazzled.”

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Andrew: “I’m so God damn sick of talking about podcasts!”

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Andrew: “Jesus!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Layer upon layer upon layer of meta-conversation.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Part of the aging process is dwelling on the aging process, right?”

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Andrew: Singing “I’m gonna go use the chainsaw now.”

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Andrew: “The Andrew Walsh I know and hate.”

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Andrew: Trying to say “Alright!” with a New Hampshire accent

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Andrew: “You know what? He Ronned me and he Donned me.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And you can name it ‘El Gordo’. No, just joking… (Ooooooooooh!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Pod-dog, aka The Rudester, aka (Yes) Rudy McRudester.”

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Fuck these guys!”

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Luke: “He is the hipsteriest hipster of all time.”

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Luke: “I don’t know what we are, but we’re not the cool kids.”

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Luke: “I mean, the answer is… maybe?”

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Luke: “I’m not quite answering the question yet.”

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Luke: “I’m ready. I’m ready for a think-piece.”

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Luke: “Is… radio…. doomed?”

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Luke: “It was National Walk Your Sibling To Work Day.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let’s trepan off a little bit of my skull and look into the nightmare that is the way my brain works.”

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Luke: “One of the things I cannot change, the fact that as this planet rotates the sun, my skins sags off of my face. That is a thing I’m not in control of.”

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Luke: “The Blur Man Group”

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Luke: “This is super cornball.”

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Luke: “What are we doing exactly?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I lay two (Do it) Can I dazzle you, sorry that was so loud. Can I dazzle you with two deets?”

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Luke and Andrew: Colonics

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Luke and Andrew: “Digital short for a tennis player, thing in Florida? Tennis racket, are you selling rackets? Is that your racket? That’s… and I’m freaking out.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was three bros, bro-ing it up. (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh yeah, you’re Ronning and Donning! I’m Ronning and Donning.”

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