Clips From TBTL #1940

Recently on TBTL, Luke has been on a kick when it comes to saying things with an Australian accent. Well, an Oz-Ten named Linda, left a message in which she spoke the intro to TBTL #1933 in her natural Australian voice. The following is that message in its entirety:

Oz-Ten Linda: Reading the intro that Luke read from TBTL #1933

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Andrew: “Figure it out, bro.”

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Andrew: “Hey Luke”

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Andrew: “I mean, it was a sequel to a sequel to a prequel.”

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Andrew: “I was just all crazy in my head and my stomach and just needed some McDonald’s.”

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Andrew: “I will gladly be your sad, sad, sad sidekick, Linda.”

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Andrew: Imitation of a wire brush sound

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Andrew: “It’s just red state, blue state… It’s just all politics again.”

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Andrew: “It’s… okay”

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Andrew: “Meh, it’s not for me.”

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Andrew: “Ooh, I like it!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Nerd”

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Andrew: “That gave me chills!”

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Andrew: “The two saddest words in the English language are quote ‘podcast sidekick’.”

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Andrew: Wire brush sound

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is obsessed with Minecraft

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew reads a “hurtful” tweet by Seth MacFarlane

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew works on Luke’s secondary show, which is more of an after thought or a rounding error

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you really want me to explain what I’ve been doing in Minecraft? Because (No.) I just think that, it’s not gonna do anybody any favors.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you want me to make a tick-tock sound with my mouth (No!)? Please, God, don’t.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ooh, I like it! There you go. Podcast (In the balls…) Sidekick. No! (of my heart). I’ll stop now. Yes.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Hodor Fireball Hollywood’ Walsh”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “College Boy!”

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Luke: Doing a quick impression of Ron Albertson from “Waiting for Guffman”

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Luke: “Hey, speaking of Andrew”

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Luke: “I’m like, I wonder if we could frack this mountain”

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Luke: “It was glasses on, hood up, then I tried glasses on, hood down.”

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Luke: Laughing and saying “Oh, man!”

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Luke: “Listen to the children when you’re playing Minecraft, bro.”

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Luke: Luke doing his Australian accent again

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Luke: “No.”

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Luke: “Oh, man!”

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Luke: Rudy had Luke’s microphone popper stopper in her mouth

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Luke: “Rudy, you got my popper stopper?”

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Luke: “That ain’t how God drew it up!”

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Luke: “To re-devil’s advocate your devil’s advocacy”

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Luke: “You don’t get that kind of ‘P’ pop sound”

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Luke and Andrew: “Carey, this morning, said something that totally blew my mind, and how did I not realize that, which was… I don’t love you anymore. That, I’d known for, you know, a good two years.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Eating some pasta. Pasta? I love pasta. I love pasta with a corn tortilla. I can’t even say right, or wrong.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I leave it your capable hands there podkiss sidekick, podcast sidekick. (Thank you, I’m also podcast…) How about, how about ‘Podcast Sidekicked’? Ooh, I like it!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is obsessed with celebrities that wear baggy clothing

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Luke and Andrew: “My fear is that if I let fast food breakfast into my life, it will never leave. (Yeah. Yeah.)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Now, I’m getting to be both negative and snobbish (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s it, bro? That’s, that’s it, bro!”

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Clips From TBTL #1939

Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Keep walking, bro!”

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Andrew: “Listen to what you want to listen to. Listen to your Throbbing Gristle or your 1940s swing music, or whatever it is.”

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Andrew: “Yeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s research showed that Kanye West did not die

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Andrew and Luke: “Dark Wings, Dark Words. Indeed.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you ever stare into windows? I… Heh-heh… I don’t mind a good outside looking in situation.”

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Andrew and Luke: “See, I listen sometimes. I appreciate, I appreciate your careful attention.”

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Luke: “And I was kind of walking around this community, just trying to find the right place to masturbate… No.”

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Luke: “Coming to you today, from Burbank Springs, Washington”

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Luke: “Heh-heh.”

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Luke: “How much asbestos is too much asbestos? There can’t be too much asbestos. That’s right, it was a trick question.”

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Luke: “I will say this, when it comes to staring out windows, I wrote the fucking book on staring out windows, Walsh. It’s probably 90 percent of what I do.”

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Luke: “I’m no Bob Vila, but… Although, I’m gonna start hosting a show called ‘This Old Hut’, which I think has a lot of promise.”

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Luke: “I’m not the Cruise Director!”

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Luke: “Listen to the kids, bro!!!”

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Luke: Luke will start greeting Andrew with “Listen to the kids, bro!!!”

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Luke: “Oh!”

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Luke: “Probably not going to catch me building an old Nintendo controller or whatever, on a new computer… program… game.”

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Luke: “Really?”

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Luke: “So, I’m a big window starer-outer”

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Luke: “Talking like bolts. I’m watching some straight up lightning bolts in this mug right now.”

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Luke: “That, you know, whole thing where if you are flying the jet and you go through a flock of seagulls. Well, you’ve got a dead 80s band on your hands.”

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Luke: “We’re about to Friendr your ear-balls everybody”

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Luke: “What you don’t understand, Andrew, is I am a god.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew’s fractured and splintered personalities and psyches

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Luke and Andrew: Rule Number 5: Urinate in every corner

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Luke and Andrew: “Things are looking up here at Burbank Springs, my friend. How’s Carey feeling? Haven’t talked to her in days. She’s been locked in the bathroom. Yep.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait a minute. You can get a bird to land on your arm, and then you can get to go off, and do shit, and come back to you. And, it wears a little leather helmet? Yes, please. Dark Wings, Dark Words. Indeed.”

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Clips From TBTL #1938

Andrew: “A little bit”

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Andrew: “Ah!”

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Andrew: “Alright, I get it. Just call Stu. I’m done.”

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Andrew: “As a fellow person who has constant pain in his chest, I think we can get through this together.”

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Andrew: “I am woefully under-caffeinated”

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Andrew: “I just heard about you guys for a while, now I want to talk about me for a second.”

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Andrew: “I mean, I don’t know a lot about geology or weather, so I’ll just leave it there.”

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Andrew: “I wanted him to be my friend!”

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Andrew: “I would have been flipping my ‘S'”

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Andrew: “I’m in a weird place, by the way. I’m in a really weird place.”

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Andrew: “If I’m getting at anything, which is doubtful!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “My name is Barney Rubble and I’m here to say, I love Fruity Pebbles, in a major way.”

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Andrew: Sighing and saying “Oh-la-la” like Ed Hume

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “That is, in-fucking-furiating to me. Sorry, sorry. Excuse the language.”

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Andrew: “That’s, that’s the way it be.”

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Andrew: Whispering “Snohomie”

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Andrew: “You know me well, and you also know how to run a talk show.”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: Andrew wants to in Luke and Carey’s pool house

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Andrew and Luke: Luke laughing at Andrew saying “Oh-la-la”

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Luke: “And I was just all day, like living in a Mervyn’s commercial. Where I was like ‘open, open, open, open’.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: Describing a crazy, flashing disco light

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Luke: “Ha-whaaaaaaaat?!?!”

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Luke: “I’m on your… I’m on your host!”

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Luke: “I like big stories and I cannot lie.”

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Luke: “I like… I like big cups and I cannot lie, Andrew.”

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Luke: “I’m also on a lot of coffee.”

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Luke: “One of these random dudes is trying to bust into the bathroom to find whatever freebies are in there. And, all he’s going to find is a nose full of something bad.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This new house, man, Burbank Springs (Right). Like, attitudes and latitudes, bruh. No shoes, no shirts, no problems. Right, right, right.”

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Luke and Andrew: Women Can Be Inspectors Too

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Luke and Carey Burbank: Luke asks Carey how her stomach feels

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Clips From TBTL #1937

Andrew: Andrew thinks “FOMO” stands for “Why The Face”

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Andrew: Awesome Laugh

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Andrew: Awesome Laugh #2

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Andrew: “Be chill, bro.”

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Andrew: “But I’ll betcha there are a lot of rollercoasters, that I… I’m sorry. My guess is that there are a lot of rolly-coasters that I have gone on in the past that I no longer have the gumption to go on.”

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Andrew: “Come on man, I have some dignity. I’m not sitting in a rental car in a parking lot. I’m sitting in my step-mom’s car in a parking lot.”

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Andrew: “I listen to your blog!”

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Andrew: “If you told that whole story, building up to that punchline, worth it.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing “Oh my God”

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Andrew: Pretzels and Beef Jerky Equals Shame

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Andrew: “We’re school and chums!!! [sic]

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wants “I listen to your blog!” on his tombstone

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know what kind of car it is. It’s got a little ‘H’ symbol on the steering wheel, so I think it might be a Hyundai, or a Honda. Yeah, it’s probably a Hyundai. Yeah, so that’s it. Alright, well, good show. That’s all I got.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I said ‘We’re school and chums!!! [sic]‘ Ooh, you know what? That’s on fleek. I told you!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I want that on my tombstone (Yes).”

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Andrew and Luke: “Thank you. (Sure.) I appreciate it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s why we need designated tweeters. (I know.) You know what, friends don’t let friends tweet drunk.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, so that’s it. Alright, well, good show. That’s all I got.”

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Luke: “As they say ‘elevator pitch’ or at least ‘elevator description’ of how an elevator works. So…”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cuyahoga Clam

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Luke: “Good luck with your living hell tomorrow.”

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Luke: “What kind of whip are you in right now?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, I was like, I gotta be somewhere where there’s shiny things happening on a flat screen and other humans.”

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Luke and Andrew: Boulders: Brick and Mortar vs Amazon Prime

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Luke and Andrew: Millennium vs Millennial Force Rollercoaster

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Luke and Andrew: “This is being recorded on Sunday, because tomorrow you’re gonna be crapping your Depends at Cedar Point. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You don’t have to tweet every single thing you observe, Burbank. That’s what the podcast is for. If you told that whole story, building up to that punchline, worth it.”

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Clips From TBTL #1936

Luke: “And we’re going to bring you all the news that’s fit to podcast”

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Luke: “Anyone who I believe to be an actual human being, with hopes and dreams. The hopes, apparently, and dreams being to be Facebook friends with me.”

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Luke: “But it’s definitely zigging when everything else is zigging.”

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Luke: “Ernest Borgnine is somewhere, pleasuring himself”

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Luke: “I made like a small curtain of hair that was hanging below a bobby pin. And then, I had my girlfriend at that time and my daughter carefully bobby pin it into the base of my head, and it was flawless.”

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Luke: “I’m like a kid who’s not cool, but who’s trying to pretend they’re cool. Like, I go like, ‘Oh no man, swear all you want. We use F word all the time, it’s pretty much the only thing we say.'”

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Luke: “If I wasn’t using up so much money on my cocaine habit, it would’ve been money for him to keep being the Infinite Guest blogger.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke recalling how his boss, back when he was a teen, said good bye on a good day

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Luke: “Stu-bot. Hey man!”

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Luke: “That was my adult film name when I dabbled in my early 20s. They called me Chestnut Thunder…”

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Luke: “That’s one more hour. Why don’t you make five louder? Umm, this one goes to six.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: Hip to be Square

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “It was the same summer that I had gotten somebody pregnant but nobody knew about it. Except the other person who was the person that was pregnant. She was fairly up to speed on the situation, it turned out (Yes)”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Like shave an American flag into the nape of my neck hair. Oh my God.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: Singing the “Segram’s Golden Wine Cooler” song from the ad with Bruce Willis

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “You know, I always think Andrew is being a baby when he says he can’t write stuff down. But now, I’m trying to write something down and talk, and it’s harder than I thought. It’s really hard to do!”

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Steve Neuman: “Might make some tacos later”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh my God”

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Steve Neuman: “Ooh, Charlie Sheen is in it!”

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Steve Neuman: “Well you know, when you’re unemployed, Luke, every day is your weekend.”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Did it have a funky name? Oh, I’m sure. Like Chestnut Thunder. Right, right.”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “I’m just going to start reading off the list of all of the actors and actresses in it… Oh, I see, I see you’ve heard this show before. Yes… Ooh, Charlie Sheen is in it!”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: Possible show title: Timescape

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Twins.com, which is owned by these two Barney Rubble looking motherfuckers. Oh my God!”

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Clips From TBTL #1935

With Andrew making his trek to Ohio, Luke brought Jesse Case of the Jesse vs Cancer podcast to be a guest on the show.

Jesse Case: And kind of danger makes people horny

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Jesse Case: “I want it to be legitimate. I don’t want any pity hand jobs, I don’t want any pity laughter.”

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Jesse Case: Philosophically, everything about cancer is fucking awesome

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Jesse Case: “Pity laughter scares the show out of me”

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Jesse Case and Luke: Pro-tip about bringing lube to a prostate exam

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Jesse Case and Luke: “What they do, the way they get rid of colon tumors is they actually tie a string around it and the other end to a door knob. And then… Just like how my granddad used to pull my mom’s teeth out when they were loose.”

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Luke: “And his name is… I have it right here, wait for it… don’t go anywhere. His name is…”

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Luke: “And then she writes, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’, which, I think, means ‘I still love the show, even though a lot of what you say is offensive to me’… in Latin.”

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Luke: “Andrew is out today and tomorrow. He is traveling to the Walsh ancestral estate in the Frisbee belt of Cleveland, Ohio.”

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Luke: “Gassing up in Bismarck, North Dakota, a surprising hip town filled with surprisingly attractive people. No offense to Bismarck, I just didn’t know going in that you were going to have such attractive men and women working at your local Starbucks.”

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Luke: “I wish I could have told my, my pores on my face during high school to relax about the small amount of bacteria that’s building up in my sebum glands. I mean, that was, pretty much ruled my life, my terrible skin.”

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Luke: Luke describes using egg whites as a home remedy for curing bad acne

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