Clips From TBTL #2124

Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a voicemail message for the guys

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Andrew: “Because, God only gave you one set of eyeballs, my friends. Don’t destroy them.”

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Andrew: “But, that is not part of my childhood. That is not part of my childhood!”

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Andrew: “I’m a lawyer!!!”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m happy to be a literalist when it comes to using figuratively.”

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Andrew: Imitating the sound made when Spotify opens

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Mmm–Blaaaaah-what!?!”

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Andrew: “Now you’re talking my language.”

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Andrew: “Ohhh”

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Andrew: “Snake and Turbo’s Drive Time Snack and Chat”

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Andrew: “This is a new song I’ve been working on.”

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Carey Burbank: Describing the look on Luke’s face while on a whirly ride

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Luke: “Awwwww”

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Luke: “But, I also don’t watch the news because I’m a kid.”

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Luke: “‘Do the stanky leg, do the stanky leg’ I would pay money to see the Stu-bot whip a nae-nae.”

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Luke: “Do you want to go faster?”

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Luke: “It’s like you’re trying to sell a bone density machine.”

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Luke: “Like, I got this cabin full of fartin’ 13 year olds, or whatever.”

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Luke: Singing “Do the stanky leg, do the stanky leg”

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Luke: “We have to start calling you Yay-Z”

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Luke and Andrew: “And then on Sunday, there is a run called the, the ‘Rhody Run’ that I’m gonna do. Is that why it’s called ‘Roady’? Because of the run? Uh, no… rhododendron. Ohhh…”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew stopped doing TBTL image searches

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Luke and Andrew: Luke and the Seagulls

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Luke and Andrew: Luke has Segull-sthesia

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Luke and Andrew: “Right, you’re describing Amelia Bedelia. Mmm–Blaaaaah-what!?!”

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Steve Neuman: “Again Andrew, I’m, I’m, I’m not fucking around with the newsletter. Please, just, get it done. Please?”

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Clips From TBTL #2081

Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a voicemail with a ghost story, which Luke and Andrew played on the show.

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Andrew: “But I can’t sit on this anymore.”

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Andrew: “Did you go into a shame spir-uhl? I can’t even say it. God damn it, I’m trying to steal Stu’s jokes and I can’t even get through it.”

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Andrew: “Did you go into a shame spiral, brother man?”

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Andrew: “Generally, a group of deer is called a herd.”

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Andrew: “How are you doing, Burbank?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how I missed, I don’t know how I missed this, but I understand why Cowhead is fighting with management; but, why is Cowhead fighting with Love Sponge? And, why did you make me say that sentence?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

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Andrew: “I have so many rules, now that I think about it.”

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Andrew: “I’m coming over!!!”

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Andrew: “Is the other guy Ernie the IUD, by any chance?”

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Andrew: “It is ‘Soft Jazz For Your Life’.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Godsmack is my co-pilot.”

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Andrew: “Oh, you know what? The Bone sent me.”

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Andrew: Patented Walshian Fashion

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Andrew: “TBTL: All Rules, All The Time!”

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Andrew: “We are out of the gate strong today!”

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Andrew: “You’re messing us up, listeners!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did we set ourselves up for an impossible task here? Probably.”

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Andrew and Luke: Walsh, Walsh and Doormat Doormats

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Luke: “Here’s the thing”

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Luke: “I was rollin’ the dice.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let me just lay this out for you.”

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Luke: “Oh my God. This is cute.”

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Luke: “Oh, boy; and, how, Walshski.”

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Luke: “Pod-dog is MIA.”

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Luke: “Tell them The Boniva sent ya!”

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Luke: “The Bay City”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, it’s the phrases that pays. Okay. Oh, right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Have you biopsied that corn, yet? Aww man, that makes me hungry. I’m going to biopsy some corn.”

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Clips From TBTL #2079

Andrew: “Bubba the Love Sponge”

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Andrew: “Controversial, but legal. No way!!!”

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Andrew: “Don’t tell the other hoagie!”

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Andrew: “I clearly had slept through alarm number one, alarm number two, alarm number three; and, I’m pretty sure I have a fourth one set up on my phone.”

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Andrew: “I’m a very skilled fake laugher.”

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Andrew: “I’m Polish, I… What do I like more than sausage? Nothing. Nothing, is the answer to that question.”

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Andrew: “If I have any regrets in this life, this is my main regret; is that, I ordered a French Dip in a Polish restaurant. What the hell was I thinking?”

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Andrew: “Let’s not get into that.”

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Andrew: “Like, sexy times.”

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Andrew: “Luke, well you’ve watch it, you dirty bird.”

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Andrew: “Mr. Love Sponge”

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Andrew: “The day that Stu turns to me for a, for a pop culture reference, you know that things are going down hill.”

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Andrew: “The little Luke inside you”

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Andrew: “There will be a time where we can talk about a confrontation that I had last night; but, this is not the time.”

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Andrew: “This story is good so far.”

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Andrew: “You can run this board. I’ll walk. I’ll walk.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Housekeeping (Housekeeping!) You son of a bitch!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I had a dream that I was eating my hoagie; and, I woke up, half of my hoagie was gone. I wonder what happened to half of that hoagie? I don’t know.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I stumbled in, like, you know, I came in to w- I mean, it doesn’t really matter. Nobody’s paying attention to what I do, but I… You know me. Wait a second, don’t beat up on my friend Andrew. I didn’t mean it that way.”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, we went back to the hotel and both looked at that bottle of mouthwash in a way that no man should ever look at a bottle of mouthwash. It turned into a cartoon of a ham. Right. It turned into a cartoon bottle of booze with two Xs on it.”

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and Luke: “At what age do you start de-tasseling? Oh well, let’s see… Your body will tell you. Once pa died…”

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and Luke: Vegan Before 6 of Nautical Disasters

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Luke: “Gotcha!”

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Luke: “I am not sober yet, is what I think we’re learning.”

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Luke: “I’m a big printer-outer of things.”

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Luke: “It, it actually, at some point, because an art project; and, I think, everyone was better for it.”

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Luke: “My body was probably saying, ‘Thanks, dude!'”

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Luke: “My good friends, who I feel like I’ve just been in, like, Rolling Thunder with”

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Luke: “Prince be old”

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Luke: “Sexual congress”

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Luke: “Stop trying to judge me, on my, on my dreams.”

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Luke: “Thanks, dude!”

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Luke: “This is NPR News, Mrs. Torrance. I’m the little man that hosts public radio shows in Luke’s voice.”

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Luke: “This man hates forests!”

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Luke: “Who has a coughing problem now?!!”

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Luke: “Who let the truth out? Who? Who? Possible show title?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, then. Can’t sell any tickets. Sorry, that’s mostly the cold that’s hurting my accent (Uh-huh.)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you remember it? Of course not! Ah, dang it!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Don’t send that shit. Right. Don’t drown your food.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The doctor, the crazy doctor was a woman, okay? I was just Googling to see if women can be doctors.”

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Luke and  Steve Neuman: “Don’t tell mom the hoagie-sitter’s dead? God damn it.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “He super served his P1s. Yes.”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “If somebody wants to give us a radio show, we’re open to talking about it. I’ll even stop swearing! Let’s not get crazy. Reconsider that fucking thing.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: “And we crossed the Mississippi River. The Mighty Mississip. Trademark, (Nobody saw that) Stu-bot.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: “How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Don’t, dont! That’s not funny. You don’t know, man! You weren’t there! You weren’t there! Oh, God. There it is. Two, two days in a row.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Is it statewide? Oh, it’s statewide. Oh, geez. It’s Minnesota Public Radio.”

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Steve Neuman: “Aww, geez Wade! And then…”

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Steve Neuman: Draven the Liar

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Steve Neuman: “I was in a shame spiral, brother.”

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Steve Neuman: “I was in a shame spiral, brother. I fought the one-man gang to a draw, brother. But, a broken marriage is the Devil’s ladder match.”

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Steve Neuman: “It is thankless, fucking work my friends.”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh, good God!”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh, Jesus!”

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Steve Neuman: “Up and down the Mightly Mississip, every city.”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: Steve Neuman singing “You Can Leave Your Hat On” and Luke saying “I know my ‘Music For Your Weekend’ selection”

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Steve Neuman, Luke and Andrew: “I’m going through a shame spiral, brother. I’m making a series of bad choices, Mean Gene. I gotta save that for the show. Yeah, that’s gold. That’s actually good. The second stage is bargaining, brother man. God damn it. Save it for the show!”

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Clips From TBTL #2078

Andrew: “Aawwhh!”

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Andrew: “Can I hug you and never let you go?”

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Andrew: “Chunky Dude Soup”

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Andrew: “Get out of my house if you’re dark-sided!”

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Andrew: “Hey-oh!!!”

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Andrew: “Holy shit, Luke had to get up and do a radio show.”

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Andrew: “How great is that!?!”

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Andrew: “I am against the woman’s right to choose. No, just joking.”

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Andrew: “I leaned over the Stu and I said, ‘Well, God damn it, I thought I’d make it to forty years old without Tom Bodett making me cry.'”

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Andrew: “I swear to God, I woke up this morning and was I just like, ‘I can’t believe this is my life.'”

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Andrew: “I was so going fast the whole time, that, like, my mouth was moving and my brain wasn’t creating the words until my mouth had said them the whole time.”

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Andrew: “Is this real life”

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Andrew: “Jesus Christ!!!”

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Andrew: “Much like tall ships, nobody will ever know what you’re talking about.”

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Andrew: “No.”

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Andrew: “No. Go, go, go, go, go.”

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Andrew: “Oh, my God! He’s making me cry!”

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Andrew: “Ohh, we have fun, don’t we?”

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Andrew: “That rappity-rap song.”

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Andrew: “Wait, hold on! I’m missing this reference, which is a first! Somebody write that one down.”

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Andrew: “What do they say in Fargo? I don’t know if I agree with your police work there, Luke.”

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Andrew, Luke and Steve Neuman: “Scrape! Shovel, shovel. Dig it out. Dig it out. Dig it out.”

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Luke: “A licky boom boom down.”

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Luke: “Anything else, Walshski?”

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Luke: “I’ll allow it. Here come the judge.”

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Luke: “I’m so my mom’s son, it’s not even funny.”

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Luke: “It was Luke Burbank Week in Minnesota.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let’s see… yesterday was my Wednesday. This is my, this is actually my Thursday, you guys.”

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Luke: “That’s bullshit… Ted.”

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Luke: “This whole trip is just making my womb hurt.”

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Luke: “Welcome, Stu-bot!”

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Luke: “Your game is strong, my friend.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, you guys. You guys want to do the ending part? No. Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: Fart Salad

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s in the neighborhood of Paul Simon. Oof, there goes the neighborhood. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing: “I swim in pool full of snow and then you dive in; but, not after 9 PM. No lifeguard is on duty.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Stu’s thing is totally out of whack. Yeah, it’s not right.”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Ode To Joy” is not written by Handel or Bach

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Are you ready for this jelly? I am! Oh, yeah.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Bye Diana! (Bye Diana) See you later! Oh, by the way, there was a woman named Diana in the room. Just to let the listeners know. Wait, you can all see her? Whoa. That is a huge relief actually. That is, I thought… Good.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Winners never spin and spinners never win. I love those folksy aphorisms. You know what? That’s your answer, Luke. Okay, cool.”

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Steve Neuman: “Minneapolis and St. Paul, the Twin Bay Cities.”

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Steve Neuman: “My lovely wife Mandy Neuman, not Randy Newman.”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh my goodness!”

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Steve Neuman: “Yes!”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Kleenex Mountain would be a really tough hill to climb. Yes, in fact it was.”

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Clips From TBTL #2077

The guys played a TBTL Voicemail Line jingle that listener Colleen submitted.

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Andrew: “Come here! You’re gonna have more fun here!”

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Andrew: “How do we get out of this segment!?!”

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Andrew: “I care… too much.”

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Andrew: “I have this disease where I can’t think something and not vocalize it.”

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Andrew: “I just spilled coffee on the board, son of a gun. Oh, well.”

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Andrew: “My name, as I hope you know, is Andrew Walsh.”

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Andrew: “Never shit where you produce.”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh, yes! Holy cow! I momentarily forgot what our Top Stories are; and, then I just looked, and I’m very excited about the first one.”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “So, I fled the youth.”

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Andrew: “Stu ‘The Stu-bot’ Neuman”

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Andrew: “Wait! Hold on, I’m not, I’m not joking and I know that I’m a bit of a dingbat.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Does anybody have a power out? Who’s got a power out here? I do, I need a power out!”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Luke likes his steaks well-done… What the hell!?!”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Somebody was screaming in the microphones and hitting these drum-shaped things. Those are drums. Oh, gotcha.”

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Andrew, John Moe and Steve Neuman: Andrew’s Bathroom Story

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Andrew, John Moe and Steve Neuman: Great Waters is the Mitt Romney of drinking establishments

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Andrew, John Moe and Steve Neuman: “Oh, by the way, I don’t have a timer going. I have literally no idea how long we’ve been recording. Oh, for a while. Yeah, it feels like for a long time, I know that!”

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and John Moe: “God damn it, guys. I told you, we’re not talking politics! We talked Designing Women, not politics. If you want to project politics on to Delta Burke… or anything onto Delta Burke. Oh, Jesus, God damn it. Oh, come on! I’m cutting that out! Alright.”

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and John Moe: “John Moe, not associated with TBTL… Anymore!”

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and John Moe: Sky Wall

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Andrew, Steve Neuman and John Moe: “Stu was the journalist! That’s right. That’s right.”

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John Moe: “I don’t wanna big [sic] fun, I do wanna make fun of your listeners, but I ought not make fun of your listeners. I mustn’t make fun of your listeners.”

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John Moe: “I’m getting how podcasts work now.”

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John Moe: “Never assume the lack of cheese in the upper-Midwest.”

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John Moe: “Oh, my!”

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John Moe and Andrew: “Don’t poop where you cut tape, (Right!) is what Mark Twain used to say. Yes, that’s the more public radio way of saying it, for sure.”

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John Moe and Andrew: “Ripped from the headlines. (Just like that!) It’s like Law and Order in here. That’s right! Who needs Luke?”

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John Moe and Andrew: “Well, let’s be face it. Let’s be face it. Let’s be face it!”

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John Moe, Andrew and Steve Neuman: Arianna Venti

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John Moe, Andrew and Steve Neuman: Lieutenant Laser recently promoted to Major Laser

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Steve Neuman: Whispering “It’s a good, it’s good deli, it’s a good deli.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Hello. How are you? Oh! You do talk like a machine.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Twinkie Town. Twinkie Town. Twinkie Town. It’s a great name. It’s a horrible name.”

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Clips From TBTL #2076

The guys played two TBTL Voicemail Line jingles during the show. The first one that they played was by Listener Jim and while it was playing, Luke had a little too much fun with it.

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The second one was by Listener Jason, who pulled several clips from Marsupial Gurgle and incorporated it into his jingle.

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Andrew: “Hey guys, I did it.”

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Andrew: “I don’t want it to stop!”

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Andrew: “I met the Stu-bot for the very, very first time today. We hugged.”

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Andrew: “I should be proud of calm Andrew.”

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Andrew: “I took the train!”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna talk to the real Luke Burbank here for a second.”

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Andrew: “I’m just gonna sit back and wait for Luke to say something and then I’ll ruin it, like I usually do.”

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Andrew: “It’s still not great, but it’s not as bad as you think!”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, you son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “This is great!”

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Andrew: “Stu, can you take over for Luke again, please? I’m feeling uncomfortable.”

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Andrew: “There is only one right answer!”

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Andrew: “This is why nobody wanted to hang out with me in high school, by the way; because, I’m just not fun.”

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Andrew: “This one will be Yup or Nup. Yup or Nope.”

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Andrew: “Yup. That’s good music!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke says “Yeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m beating up on my friend Andrew. Don’t do that. Don’t do that.”

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Andrew and Luke: Marsupial Gurgle Name Drop

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Andrew and Luke: Power Outs, Power Ins and Power Middles

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Brace yourself, Stu-bot, brace yourself. Okay.”

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Andrew, Luke and Steve Neuman: Cardigan Welsh Orggie or Welsh Corgie (or Orgy)

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Andrew, Luke and Steve Neuman: “It just, it just sneaks and it just prowls through the streets. Like a hamster. Or an airship.”

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Luke: “Brace yourself, new Luke.”

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Luke: “If, if Stu is the fake Luke Burbank, I vote for the fake Luke Burbank…”

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Luke: “Lu-bot!”

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Luke: “My keister”

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Luke: “No(pe)!”

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Luke: “Oh, this’ll all go. This is a gut job!”

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Luke: “Oh. My. God!”

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Luke: “Road hard, put-away wet, Keith Richards-looking mofos.”

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Luke: Singing “Clang, clang, clang went the trolley.”

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Luke: Singing “TBTL”

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Luke: “Who gives a fuck?”

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Luke: “Yep!”

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Luke: “You guys, this madness cannot go on any longer.”

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Luke: “You hit the Legal ID. If she freaks out, stop!”

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Luke and Andrew: Baths and Floating Soup

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Luke and Andrew: “Slightly moldy is totally shot, yes. Let me quote Miracle Max, ‘Slightly moldy is still totally shot.’ Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: Wooting and Whooping

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Here’s what I look for in a show… Nakedness and fear? Yeah.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: Singing “The plan keeps coming up again”

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Steve Neuman: “Andrew ‘The Body’ Walsh”

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Steve Neuman: “Hey there ladies and gentlemen, I am your host, Luke Burbank, coming to you from the mothership of American Public Media in St. Paul, Minnesota… The Bay City.”

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Steve Neuman: “The weather here matches my mood. It’s cloudy, rainy, and maybe a little drafty? That, that doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense at all!”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers hug. Brothers gotta hug!”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “You’re more of a, like, you know, Whitecollarsburg. Podcastville? Soft hands. Audiotown?”

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