Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “And then my phone rang and it was another kind of rando number, and I’m like ‘Oh, please be the scammer. I’m so bored!’ Like, this will be fun.”

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Andrew: “Boy… Buckle up for some inarticulateness here.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Luke seems to be providing advice to the Windows support scammers

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Andrew: “Number one, he’s talking out of his butt.”

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Andrew: “Ohh!”

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Andrew: “Sorry… I’m just… it’s hard to talk about religion.”

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Andrew: “Talk about selling the sizzle.”

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Andrew: “Tell the story again, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah, bom bom bom bom”

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Andrew and Luke: “Credibility Gap” is the nickname for Luke’s tooth gap

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew makes Luke tell his speaking gig story every year

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Andrew and Luke: Being reasonable in unreasonable times

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Andrew and Luke: “Boy… Buckle up for some inarticulateness here, because I have something (Possible show title) that’s bouncing around my head.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just kind of grunt a hello. [Grunts]”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing and saying “I know. I know.” while Luke was talking

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Andrew and Luke: Luke role playing as a Windows support scam supervisor

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Andrew and Luke: Possible Danish Price Is Right Sad Horns

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Luke: “Aww, man.”

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Luke: Grunting

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Luke: “I gotta give it up to that guy. I think that is some funny ass shit he’s saying.”

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Luke: “It’s one thing for them to want to funk with McDonald’s.”

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Luke: “Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.”

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Luke: Stifled Laugh

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke saying “Good luck!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hustlerstil. That was me that part. Really?!? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I dunna. I dunna.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just fascinated with the term ‘senpai’. (Yeah…) Notice me senpai, notice me.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke chose to use “funk” instead of the F word

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reminiscing about the McDLT

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Luke and Andrew: Luke tried to make a Kardashian reference that didn’t work out

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Luke and Andrew: Pronouncing “Tomato, tomato.”

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Luke and Andrew: Pronunciation of the last name “Rohm”

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Luke and Andrew: “Satan is also referred to as the ‘prince of the power of the air’. Which is, like, a fantastic DJ name. It’s so wasted on the devil.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m fine. You’re the one who had a heart attack during the show a couple weeks ago and didn’t say anything about it. I said something about it, it was after I survived the heart attack; which is, exactly when a real man, no I’m just joking…”

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Andrew: “And, so I picked up and I was like ‘Hello’, I was like ‘Hello’, and then I was ‘Hello!’. And I just kept on saying it more and more goofy until they heard me.”

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Andrew: “Ask your doctor about Hydrox”

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Andrew: “Heh-heh”

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Andrew: “I graduated!”

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Andrew: “I hope there’s words”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry!”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Have you ever done this before?”

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Andrew: Reacting to Luke talking about his foot issue with “Oh God!”

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Andrew: Screaming “Two Bits!”

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Andrew: Short Laugh

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “Thank you and congratulations and I’m sorry.”

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Andrew: “The good news is, the bow on the story is, it turns out, I am more annoying than Internet scammers because he hung up on me first. So, why are you guys listening to this show?”

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Andrew: “This is Luke Burbank’s ‘One To Watch’.”

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Andrew: “Yello!!!”

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Andrew: “You know, it’s difficult… difficult lemon difficult…”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew couldn’t believe that they were already 45 minutes into the show

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew plays something he thought had spoken words but didn’t

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Andrew and Luke: Appropriate words to say towards the end of a TBTL podcast

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you mad at me for sneaking a dream into Keys to the Show, those are supposed to be different segments? No.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m kind of known as the Jim Cramer of broadcasting (Right). Mega booyas. Mega booyas.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Together, we’re like the Freakonomics of podcasting (Uh-huh).”

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Luke: “Although, you do sound like your being pretty annoying.”

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Luke: “But that movie suffers from, what I call, ‘Three Boob Syndrome'”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cuz we’ve already, you know, blown the seal on this show.”

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Luke: Fighting with eggs

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Luke: “I have this watch, one of these activity watches. Not to be confused with an Activia watch, which helps you poop.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Little sound bit played while Luke was talking

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Luke: “Luke Burbank. Luke, we are your father!”

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Luke: Mouth sound made while trying to think of a correct answer

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Luke: “She just sat up, by the way, when I said her name. Sorry buddy, I’m not your biological father. This conversation is long overdue.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew kept on getting more annoying to the scammer

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew played a snoring drop when Luke was starting to talk about his dreams

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Luke and Andrew: Both are having a little too much fun with a TBTL supporter’s name

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, possible show title: Freakonomics, hold the nomics. That was not good. (I’m writing it down.) That was not a good joke and I apologize.”

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Luke and Andrew: Hydrox Cookies

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Luke and Andrew: “I got an e-mail from a beautiful young lady, she said ‘Hi BB, I want you touch my breasts. Use Facebook much?’ And then it had a link and, you know, the rest they say is history. That was actually me.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reading the tagline for “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” in the voice of Don LaFontaine

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thought he was going to get Donovan-rolled by Andrew

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Luke and Andrew: “Roger Rabbit should be called… Bob Hoskins kills it! That’s right, it should be called ‘A Bob Hoskins Master Class’.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You could’ve gotten away with that too, I mean, if it weren’t for those nosy kids… (Yeah) called me.”

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Andrew: “Good joke.”

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Andrew: “I held Steve Nelson. I mean, think about that. I held Steve Nelson on Wednesday.”

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Andrew: “I was kind of flipping my shit out.”

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Andrew: “It is like, it is, it is, digital Fort Knox, man.”

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Andrew: “Oh, ha ha ha ha! Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thinks Luke has incredible balance

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, that reminds me of a joke. How do you make holy water? How? You take regular water and beat the hell out of… or, boil the hell out of it. Good joke.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke laughing to Andrew saying “Thank you”

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Andrew and Luke: “Maybe I should get a pair of rollerblades. Would that be crazy if I got rollerblades? Not necessarily crazy”

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Andrew and Luke: “One of the things that Steve did mention in my review is that I should remember, umm (What it’s actually called), words, words. He doesn’t want me to say ‘ahh’ anymore.”

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Andrew and Luke: “So my password is: Must kill Luke, two one five. Umm, which I should change (Mrs. Brian Hoyer).”

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Andrew and Luke: “They’re the ‘P’ in VPN. They’re the people (Yes! That’s right!)… in there… I think. And we’re the ‘N’, not obeying the rules. Not obeying the rules, not thriving frankly, not thriving.”

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Andrew and Luke: “To me, it’s still impressive because, big fucking magnets. How do they work? Still a mystery.”

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Luke: “Gotta keep them guessing, bro.”

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Luke: “He looks like a real dingus”

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Luke: “Hey everybody! My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host known far and wide as the ‘Nice Cube’ of podcasting.”

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Luke: “Just for the folks at home who cared about this, which would be probably zero of you, Rocky is not based on a true story.”

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Luke: “Like, he’s just dafuq-ing his way through life”

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Luke: “You just watch a wave of people, every group he goes past turns and looks at him, like dafuq?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And the quarterback is toast. You’ve hacked into the mainframe.”

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Luke and Andrew: Audio from a site that Andrew was visiting abruptly played

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s bird on your shoulder, ferret in your pocket. Possible show title (Good).”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let me just mention the Statue of Liberty play was invented by Rocky Balboa, for anyone who is just curious about that. Was a real football coach (So he was a real guy, I knew it).”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke laughs and talks like Tommy Wiseau

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, my God in Heaven.” while Andrew is talking

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Luke and Andrew: “Steve Nelson peed on my arm, ever so slightly. That’s not a joke (Did Nelson really do that?). Not a joke.”

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Luke and Andrew: The end of the El Ropo theme is actually Luke’s password

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Luke and Andrew: “There is also a chance that I will get stung by multiple bees during the broadcast; which, I think (Mmm, that’s good) introduces an element of danger. I like it.”

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Andrew: “Cuz I’m very loosey-goosey”

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Andrew: “I’m getting worse in basically every sense.”

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Andrew: “It’s the new catrolling”

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Andrew: “More than one person said to me, ‘You’re way taller than I pictured you. You don’t sound as tall as you are.'”

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Andrew: “Oh, by the way, this is No Point Conversion.”

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Andrew: “Right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “You know, it makes me question… no it doesn’t.”

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Andrew and Luke: A Little Fire Andy

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke saying “Piss poor”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wanted to make a liar out of Luke, but ended up being petty

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s personality is equivalent to a slouch

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing and Andrew saying “Good Lord”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke had to explain his Australian joke to Andrew

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Luke: “Another reason for us to shut the flip up”

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Luke: “But like, more better-er”

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Luke: “I don’t think one listener out there got what the hells I was talking about.”

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Luke: “Let me just crack into this can of whoop-ass. Wait, actually, that’s Le Croix seltzer water. Dang it.”

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Luke: “Matisyahu is a beautiful man, he should not be hiding his sugar on the shelf.”

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Luke: Saying: “That’s-a hurtful when you say that-a Andrew.” in a faux Italian accent

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Luke: Saying: “You call that putting away money to buy your first house? This is putting away money for your first house.” in a faux Australian accent

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Luke: “Sorry, welcome to No Point Conversion. You have to listen through to get to your music for the weekend.”

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Luke: “You got floor in my lima beans, Andrew.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Fire Andy… I did have tacos, I am quite sure of it, for lunch and that’s what happened there.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke does his President Obama impression

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Luke and Andrew: Luke quotes from the Book of Burbank

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sings “Beast Mode (Seahawks Rap)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Speaking of our physical bodies though Andrew… What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is-a good music. Oh, ho ho, that’s pretty good! It’s the new catrolling.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You call that a bigger boat? Good Lord.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You can always play Kdude to my Little Hoagie. Yeah, okay.”

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