Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Are you shitting me?”

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Andrew: “Don’t be a Buttinski”

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Andrew: “He wants to be, what I call, ‘thunder-shirted'”

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Andrew: “I did see something and say something”

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Andrew: “I did(n’t) have any working animals; they were all super lazy”

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Andrew: “I don’t love the things you’re saying either. You know what I mean?”

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Andrew: “It’s almost like a perfect storm of sneeriness”

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Andrew: Saying “The chicken was a baby!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s not cool, man!”

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Andrew: “Things got a little bit too close to real for me”

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Andrew: “This is supposed to be a special episode all about pets… and, I’m gonna take it just… one click realer here”

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Andrew: “This was a real mind-eff for me”

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Andrew: “Well, that about killed me!”

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Andrew: “You know, I can’t do that and play my video games at the same time, dude”

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Luke: “Go find someone else to message, weirdo!”

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Luke: “One, one thousand. Two, one thousand. Three, one thousand”

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Luke: “Peace!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke and Andrew are moving further away from rather than going towards pet talk

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Andrew: “And, I’m on the record using words wrong… all the time”

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Andrew: “But… I also… solidly don’t give a shit”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I kinda don’t do, like… weird cheeses”

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Andrew: “I’m a goth, I like this. I’m a punk, I like this”

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Andrew: “I’m an adult now”

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Andrew: “Let’s just take this to Negative Town”

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Andrew: “Oh, yum!”

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Andrew: “Pardon me. My microphone was off”

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Andrew: Saying “Let’s go, mates!” in a semi-English accent

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Andrew: “Wait. What!?”

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Andrew: “We should open a weed store and call it, ‘Fine Young Cannabis'”

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Andrew: “You just salted me”

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Andrew: “You know, I’m in the habit of just kind of, like: waking up, whenever, Genevieve leaves for work, I stay in bed”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asks about the drop of him saying “It’s just too boring and long” that Luke played and Luke mentions Marsupial Gurgle

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Andrew and Luke: “Let’s just take this to Negative Town and talk shit (Oof!) about people”

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Andrew and Luke: “We live in a magical world, certainly. We really do”

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Luke: “And, I have now done that… Lord, have I done that”

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Luke: “At the top of episode two-thousand seven-hundred and fifty-four… in a collector’s series (Let the fun begin)” [ed: Nope]

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Luke: “But, I am… a total space cadet this morning. I got up and I just felt… loopy and weird”

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Luke: “Don’t take salt away from me”

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Luke: “I have realized this… I don’t trust myself… to design my own salad, anymore, at a place”

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Luke: “I’m… a little bit, I’m already regretting the decision to say this next thing; but…”

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Luke: “It tastes like Dorito. I’m getting a big hit of Dorito right now”

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Luke: “It’s been nice knowing you, listeners”

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Luke: Singing “Good thing… where have you gone?”

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Luke: “Throw the ball to Odell!!”

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Luke: “Well, this is just great!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think this is the thong… the thong I’m thinking of. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s nice to have my evil inside you for once (Goddamnit!)”

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Andrew: “Because, a little bit of social lubrication… not social lubrication, meaning booze”

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Andrew: “But, I’m not a good, quick napper”

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Andrew: “Do you have any thoughts on this while I click around?”

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Andrew: “Here are the tables, everybody. I like football”

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Andrew: “I flick all the wax off, and I stick it in my ear”

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Andrew: “It’s just too boring and long”

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Andrew: “Lemme ‘splain… There’s no time. Lemme sum up”

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Andrew: “That’s bunk science, bro!”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “What am I missing out on… when it comes to Gord’s gold?”

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Andrew: “What the shit!?”

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Andrew: “While we’re getting real personal here about doing our business”

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Andrew: “Yeah. Those things are little bastards”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, even when you talk about it… being shy, it doesn’t impact your performance. That surprises me. (No! It’s…) I am, I am… I don’t have a shy, I don’t have a shy sphincter… Oh, show title! Just kidding. Nobody write that down… Linh, write that down”

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Andrew and Luke: “‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ is just… I mean, I know that’s what he’s most famous for; but… I can’t do that song… It’s just too boring or too long? It’s just too boring and long… I mean, they’re kind of part of the same deal. Linh! Please pull that audio… Let’s play that on the show all the time”

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Andrew and Luke: “What the shit!? What the damn shit?”

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Luke: “God bless it. I’m ancient!”

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Luke: “God, I need a long bar so bad!”

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Luke: “Just raw-dogging… through the world… on a shuttle bus”

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Luke: “Life is full of weird contradictions, people”

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Luke: Making a theremin-like sound

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Luke: “Other people are probably not… as messed up as I am”

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Luke: “This is insane!”

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Luke: “Yeah. People are happier when they have a shitload of dough”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, Andrew going number two with a long line at Starbucks… it… these things took longer than they should have… but, they will get there… and, they… (And, let’s face it) will be beautiful (some of them will stink)”

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Andrew: “Although, I’m still exhausted and self-loathing”

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Andrew: “Despite the… anger in my voice, I am actually happy for you”

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Andrew: Funny “What?”

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Andrew: “Have a good life, buddy!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how ticks and whales work”

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Andrew: “I don’t know who’s chopping up meatballs in the hot bar and then leaving half a meatball; but, that’s what I was confronted with”

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Andrew: “I got more questions than answers at this point”

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Andrew: “I gotta say… good on you… It just occurred to me, as I set you up for that, I was like, ‘God, if you did that to me, I would choke so fucking bad!'”

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Andrew: “I just wanted a little bit of space while I horf down too much food”

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Andrew: “I’m outta here, man!”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m hobb–I’m wobbling down the street after eating too much and hating myself”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!” #2

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Andrew: “Ohhh. I’m so full and tired. I don’t feel like doing the show”

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Andrew: “Ooh! He’s in the Haggen! Stay tuned to find out what happens next”

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Andrew: “Spoiler!”

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Andrew: “What the fuck!!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “All you’re doing is the repeating, ya dirtball! Yes”

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Luke: “Bro… dial that back, like, three clicks, please”

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Luke: “For some reason, I can’t quite put my finger on it… although, if I had to, this woman could probably talk me though… where I need to put my finger… and how much pressure to apply…”

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Luke: “I know this sounds kinda woo-woo”

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Luke: “I’m s–I’m, I feel sad… right now. Not, like a… overwhelming sadness, Andrew”

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Luke: “Ooh! Intimate”

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Luke: “Remote acupuncture for vegans”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a man of many words, Andrew. And, those words don’t count… and, neither do my actions (No they don’t)”

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Andrew: “And now, whenever I hear ‘weed’, I hear it in his voice”

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Andrew: “Get outta here with that thermometer talk”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. I got some more weird stuff going on”

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Andrew: “I, I mean, honestly, I can, I can, I think I can take it… but, I just do not wanna hear you doing that in public”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, right”

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Andrew: “Luke, maybe you’re the someone”

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Andrew: “Luke’s been drinking again; and, he ruined Blursday!”

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Andrew: “Oh! I’m in!”

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Andrew: Saying “Stay off the weed!!” as Stephen A. Smith

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Andrew: Saying something at the very end of the audio file

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Andrew: Singing the theme from Peter Gunn

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Andrew: “That’s how we do it on this side of the tracks”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you follow me on that; or, am I editing that all out? (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, man! See you’ve been watching ‘The Good Place’… Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man! Have I ever!”

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Luke: “And, I’ve got a lot of skeletons in my closets. I’ve got a lot of secrets. Little dark, terrible secrets”

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Luke: “Could Trader Joe’s create a… enchilada… that… God/Luke Burbank could heat up… so, that it was too hot from him to eat”

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Luke: “Eye-forking”

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Luke: “First of all, we better be mentioned in that mother-forking story”

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Luke: “For some reason, I decided to say… both less and more than I usually say”

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Luke: “Fuck you, Trader Joe’s”

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Luke: “Giant tit machine”

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Luke: “God bless… the… crooked road that led us to… being… America’s number one podcast for those two topics. How did we get here? I don’t really know”

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Luke: “I am… one hundred percent off my grind at this point”

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Luke: “I knew it!”

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Luke: “I trust you… impli-shit-ly”

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Luke: “I was LOLing”

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Luke: “It… felt like I… jumped out of an airplane without a fricking parachute… and lived”

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Luke: “It’s not the forking water”

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Luke: “Oh, God. I’m gonna mess this up now”

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Luke: “Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!”

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Luke: “Shut up, Tab!! We got D.C. over here!”

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Luke: “That could definitely jack my stuff up”

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Luke: “When, when we dialed up… I was horfing down an enchilada”

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Luke: “Why the frick can’t athletes… Why the fork… can’t athletes smoke weed?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Guess what! What? You still get paid!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke perfectly timing the “Uh-oh” robot sound over Better Than Ezra’s “Good” and Andrew saying “Perfect!! You nailed it!!”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Sky whale, ooooh”

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Luke and Andrew: “That, my friend, is how you hit… the mother… forking… (Settle down) post!”

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Luke and Andrew: Whispering “By the way, speaking of conspiracies… Yeah… I… I knew this was the case; but… Yeah! Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Would you call me, essentially, your Coke Zero daddy? (Who is your daddy; and, what does he do?) I would call, I’m sorry to say this, I would call Genevieve my Coke Zero daddy… (Yeah, that’s fair) And, I do… Often”

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Luke and Andrew: “You stole my thunder from Down Under (Oh my God)”

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